THURSDAY! Poetry from Dr. Hal, Art from Spy– & Cookies for All!

July 22nd, 2010

THIS THURSDAY!!
==JULY 22nd , 2010 – 8:00 PM==

…SPY EMERSON and HAL ROBINS
bring you…
making something from nothing
A Special Closing Party for an Art Show
Featuring Fabrication, Poetry & Performance
Music by Brass Tax resident, Ding Dong
…And featuring the Terpsichorean Talents of
the vivacious, voluptuous
DOTTIE LUX
Sensational star of Red Hots Burlesque
…daringly performing (with Spy Emerson) the
outrageous routine:

La Danse de ma Chatte–

from the smash hit sensation of the stage–
“Happy Forever– the Life & Death
of an Italian Cat!”

@ WAREHOUSE 416
416 26th Street, Oakland

(between Telegraph & Broadway)
admission $8 (eight dollars)

making something from nothing:
Costumes, Sets, Props & Fragments of Stories–
Created by SPY EMERSON–

with poetic recitation & interpretation by
HAL ‘Dr. Hal” ROBINS

Delicious Home-baked Chocolate Chip Cookies
will be provided for attendees– and Other
Surprises…

a FEAST FOR THE EYES, SENSES AND MIND

www.spygirlfriday.com

Final Show? Maybe… Our Christmas Show? You Bet!

December 23rd, 2009

Ask Dr. Hal! is coming back– at least one more time.
You can see us this Friday, December 25th. That’s
right– Christmas Day! An Ask Dr. Hal! that segues
into…
our GIANT XMAS SHOW!!
**************************

YES– YOU ARE INVITED TO OUR
Annual Christmas Show–
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –  
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========
OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as,

“The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]
PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
As perhaps for the last time…
Chicken John
presents
The (Possibly) FINAL GENUINE & ORIGINAL
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW                                        

NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   

San Francisco, California

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]
PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!  ( N O   K I D D I N G)
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will

be starting as close to Nine PM as we can. Despite a

long history of lagging audiences, we’ll start at Nine

anyway.


There’s just too much to cover to waste time

waiting for laggards (You know who you are)…

WE USUALLY CLOSE before Midnight, to give

our East Bay friends the chance to make it in

time to catch the last train from the 24th St.

BART Station, a few short blocks North of the

CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East

Bay train departs about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s

colorful Mission District. But this time it’s

different–  this show will run on and on,

later and later, until all energy is gone.

When it nears Midnight we’ll announce it–

but we’re not leaving…

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!


Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. 
Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) goes
out with a bang– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew! 
With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie’s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Spy, the Christmas Elf gives you her “special treatment!”
Dr. Hal answers your queries! We’re back– and doing the show once
more! (Will we ever learn?) It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain will fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’ll
miss it all! We hope you can spend one LAST NIGHT with us!

 The Dr. Hal Report

Vol. XII                                                                                          No. 10

“Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one
who endures that the final victory comes.”

–The Buddha: Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism

IT’S…
THE
LAST
ASK DR. HAL! OF THE YEAR!
AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WE WILL BE ABLE TO PUT ON ANOTHER…

COME TO BE ENTERTAINED & HAVE YOUR QUESTIONS
ANSWERED– STAY
FOR THE PARTY!
WITH A GIANT PILE OF PRESENTS FOR ALL! BRING A PRESENT–
LEAVE WITH A PRESENT!

With…
YOUR BOASTFUL HOSTS,
CHICKEN JOHN
& Dr. HAL!
FIRST, we bring you ASK Dr. HAL! in all its savagery
and splendor!
THE LAST EMBER OF DECEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. Last time we were proud to
bring you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Horton
Hatches the Egg
(1942). And now, for a definite change of pace with  what may turn out to be our
last performance for a while, KrOB has selected a charming product of the Fleischer cartoon
studio, Cobweb Hotel (1936). Yes, as you may have guessed, the theme is, once again, the Terror
of the Spider.
(At our last show the KrOB Monster Klip (see below) featured an attack by an aggressive
nine-pounder.
Wallowing in Spider-Phobia is, we admit, a persistent thread (heh, heh) in our show
we like
it because it is an epiphenomenon of the instinctive– e.g. a visceral aversion to spiders –not
cerebral,
like, ideally, some other parts of our show. So, we figure the audience could use a little break,
getting in touch with feelings and reactions that aren’t on a rational, logical basis. And here we go again
with a Fleischer cartoon which, though not urbane, like the work of Warners animation Titans Clampett
and Avery, is still charged, like many of the studio’s other cartoons, with great iconic power. An evil,
hungry
(and quite gleefully Sadistic) spider runs the Cobweb Hotel, which is visited by a pair of cute lil’
newlywed flies
on their honeymoon. These two eventually catch on to a hideous, Gilles de Rais-type
set-up
where screaming flies are fastened to web-spun “beds” awaiting their doom. But in the end the
little pests
manage to defeat the hairy, adversarial arachnid. Naturally. Of course, this is a direct
inversion of reality–
we ought
to cheer on the spider, who’s our great ally against the fly, Man’s real
eternal enemy
(it ain’t the spider). Yet an irrational and unquestioned tradition causes us to root for the
flies and hiss the spider, here a typically grotesque Fleischer villain. In the cartoon, we see, in addition
to the usual skillful and fluid animation, rotoscope effects (and why not? Max Fleischer invented the
rotoscope, still in use today in our high-tech film industry). There’s also a glimpse, at the beginning and
end, of their patented stereoptical process, where they got a 3-D effect like no other by actually building
miniature sets
they then rotated before the camera. Animation by Dave Tendlar and Bill Sturm. Music
(the spider sings!) by Bob Royhberg and Fleischer lyricist Sammy Timberg.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. If you‘ve been habitually
missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice. So be on time! We have a huge show– you‘ll
probably leave before
the (bitter) end, and we’re forced to start early. Y‘know, we‘ve carried ADH on for
many years now– and are always refining it a degree or so further, trying to ascertain what “works” and what
we have to conclude never will. The End though it may be, KrOB’s on the job, as always, brewing up new
surprises.
And he‘s got a real winner this week, as the Monster Clip brings you the hideous tale of a
grotesque taxon-crossing mutant, part man and part ant, as…

KrOB, San Francisco, Presents:
ISOTOPIA UBER ALLES– Featuring MANT! THE INSECTILE ABOMINATION!

Radioactivity produces giant ants! GIANT ANTS! And that’s not all, according to this KrOB Kinematographic
Kollage Kreation.
Unspeakably horrible is this eructation of perverted science– the metamorphosis of Homo
sapiens
into… Homo myrmex. Yes, your traumatized eyes will behold sights which will seize your quivering brain
in gleaming, razor-sharp chitinous mandibles and send it skittering off into a necrophagous abyss of suffocating,
night-black horror,
down endless subterranean corridors of wriggling, hexapodal madness. Oh, that KrOB. Now,
nearly all ants have a unique gland found on the petiole, the linking segment between thorax and abdomen (we
were classically trained) or, as they say today in Ant Science or Myrmecology, the altitrunk and gastor. Yes, yes,
insect fans– we know that the altitrunk is considered the distal component of the pre-petiolar thorax. There’s just
not space
to get into that here. Anyway, we are speaking of the metapleural gland. Most importantly, this gland has
been shown to contain antibacterial and antifungal chemicals which are essential for survival in the humid, dark
nests
your typical ants construct in the ground or rotting vegetation. This gland secretes an antiseptic substance,
or “gleet,” that at times acts as a repellent to attacking organisms. It is also thought that the selfsame metapleural
gland
releases certain special pheromones for communication. But, you know, that’s pretty small compensation for
a guy who finds himself slowly turning into a man-ant, or mant. Hence, the drama, the pathos. You know the drill.
So, for unique, bulbous Big Bug thrills, get a load of what the indefatigable KrOB‘s prepared for this week! Right–
yet another
in a series of unforgettable KrOB “Edits!” Scientific! Educational! View it all
on our Giant Screen.
Come one, come all…
  

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

   http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE FRISSONS!
Our Science Segment…

Did you know top N.A.S.A. scientists often attend the show? It’s true! Our show begins
with an actual narrated presentation of the latest astronomical findings. To participate in
the receiving of new scientific knowledge is rightly considered a privilege, as we see it, by
those unencumbered with an excess of credulity, superstition and fanaticism in their inner
makeup, those who understand that the self is strengthened and renewed by its ongoing
transformation
by means of the introduction and accommodation of new information and
ideas,
i.e. Learning. And so it is that Pete Goldie, our own Boffo Boffin, though eternally
baited
by Chicken, illumes and educates with his unrivaled Cosmic Revelations, his heroic
hebdomadal presentation
for your eyes and minds. A quondam NASA consultant, real
“Science Superhero” Dr. Goldie, a contemporary Prometheus (bound to suffer the vulturine
gnawings
and pangs of Chicken‘s heckling) who brings unworthy humanity the sacred fire
of Celestial truth,
is, paradoxically, a down-to-earth kind of guy. He can tell you everything
about the tiles on the Space Shuttle– and on your bathroom floor! He‘s also a raconteur,
artificer
and craftsman, and a delver into mysteries of natural philosophy. He arranged for
Chicken‘s name
(and ours) to be shot into space aboard the Dawn Explorer on its mission to
the Asteroid Belt!
We think that says it all. The well-known bon vivant and astro-science
specialist
gives us astonishing pictures from worlds never before viewed by human eyes
transmitted by robots who are even now, right this minute, busily exploring Outer Space.
You‘ll be spellbound
as, with their assistance, Pete will set before your bulging baby blues,
burnt-sienna browns or gemstone greens, rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System.
And, via computer-jockey David Capurro‘s abilities (see below) he usually also neatly
illustrates his presentation with those rare pictures. A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

CAPPY COMBS CYBERSPACE–
TO SLAY ‘EM WITH SIGHT-GAGS!
The Visual Dimension…

Our very own dementedly devoted David Capurro, in his alternate identity as Yo-Yo Pro, has performed in
multiple venues, yo-yo-ing for astonished audiences.Now, yet another time, he returns to Ask Dr. Hal! As of
old, he vivaciously vivifies our Show with a kind of visual, Virtual yo-yo-ing: even as Dr. Hal is speaking,
David’s dexterous digits flash across his keyboard– and, Wow! A confirming (or at least, ideally, congruent)
image
appears on the screen! (Usually, filthy, but that’s showbiz…)

THEN, WHEN ALL THIS STUFF IS OVER WITH,
WE SLIDE RIGHT INTO…
OUR ONCE-A-YEAR XMAS X-STRAVAGANZA!
Our longtime audience knows the drill. Bring a wrapped present– leave with a different, or several
different presents! The luck of the draw! Interact with Dr. Hal, Chicken, Spy the Xmas Elf (R-rated)
and enjoy, or endure the ultimate KrOB Moment– that goes on all night long! It’s an orgy of excess!
An endurance fest! A personal test! Be our guest!

ONGOING SHOWS

“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which will happen in about a month, in addition to another appearance
by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and a one-of-a-kind collaboration with legendary Comic Book Artist Spain Rodriguez, Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these.

Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show.

The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well

as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

THE LAST HOLIDAY HELPING OF THOSE AMAZING,
AMUSING… PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!

Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals
and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pedro arrives just in time for America’s Angle, the Space Science Report, but then the “InnerNet” breaks–
 and
Pete Goldie (impersonating FDR) drops into a gamma ray rut. Anyone care for a FREE Venom
Mango-flavored Energy Drink?
December 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s7bA8NM5MY&feature=channel

Space Science continues, as infinite and unending as Space itself… But Dr. Hal does eventually enter, on
December 11th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc_hJ89ZL4E&feature=channel

At length, and in the Fullness of Time, Dr. Hal channels the late President, Richard M. Nixon
December 11th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5eH4tRf6w4&feature=channel

Nazis invented ZIP Codes, and more awesome revelations, not to mention the dread KrOB Moment
December 11th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wnhGinFX44&feature=channel

The Norman Conquest occurred in 1066 AD when William the Conqueror, as described in William of
Malmesbury’s
Historia Novella in 1142, successfully defeated Harold Fairhair and his forces. The same
scribe
also wrote of the lives of the Saints. Excerpt from December 11th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DG3j3pQNIE&feature=channel

The stirrup improved military technology— and we also speak on our ongoing  need for more and more
Plastic Dinosaurs, that
December 11th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzx-CuqRT1U&feature=channel

Pete Goldie shows us the Milky Way –not the candy bar –as  ADH commences on December 4th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvNobMER6qU&feature=channel

More hardcore Hard ScienceChicken muses about Gravity and the agony of Toenail Loss–
then
Dr. Hal enters with some Dylan Thomas December 4th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlcTICc6Q_k&feature=channel

Optimism about the Futurewill we hunt rabbits in Dolores Park? Pete loses, then finds, his
LASER. Never climb inside an abandoned refrigerator– even to see if the light stays on! That was
December 4th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CDGXGBV4S8&feature=channel

The Smoke-Pot Guys, Ken Karefree and Phineas T. Smokepott, are seated with honor in their own
box seats,
a historic milestone of
December 4th (Pt. 4). Obo Martin is seen for an instant at the end:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dndHT8qwRI4&feature=channel

How the 70’s went wrong and many other perturbations are perused December 4th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wea5ETsJEtY&feature=channel

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you one more time at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 25th!
…AND AFTER THAT, WHAT WILL HAPPEN NO ONE KNOWS…

                

Presenting ASK Dr. HAL’S Holiday-Season Hull-a-ba-loo!

December 8th, 2009

Chicken John
presents
====== THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL =========
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW  
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret 
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)  
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS !
FRIDAY, December 11th!      

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING

AT  NINE P.M. SHARP!  
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past– WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our EastBay friends the chance to make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

[Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!


Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic

Ask Dr. Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action
with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew
!  With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie
‘s
Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet!
Dr. Hal answers your queries! We‘re back– and doing
the
show once more! It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain
might fall while
you aren’t paying attention– and you‘ll
miss it all!
Admission —      

$10.00     

(TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)  

                   
[Our usual (reasonable)
Admission Price.]



         The Dr. Hal Report        
Vol. XII                                                                                                                        
No. 9

How like a Winter hath mine Absence been
From
thee, the Pleasure of the fleeting Year!
What Freezings have
I felt, what dark Days seen,
What old December‘s bareness everywhere!”
                                                                            -Shakespeare 

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

KARTOON : TREE-SITTING ELEPHANT HATCHES HYBRID MONSTROSITY9-POUND SPIDER + THEN SCUTTLES FORWARD IN ATTACK IN KINDLY KrOB’S ARTFUL ARACHNOPHOBIC APOTHEOSIS TO PROVIDE NEEDED HOLIDAY CHEER + ON-LINE INTERVIEW 4 U + BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE– WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE + PETE GOLDIE’S REMARKABLE SPACE REVELATIONS PRODUCE, IN THOSE PRESENT, BEGUILING SENSATIONS + DAVID CAPURRO’S IN CHARGE OF THE SCREEN– USUALLY, HE PUTS UP SOMETHING OBSCENE+ NEWS:
ADIEU TO FRANK CHU + THEY SAY OUR NEWEST DOORMAN, JIMMY,GETS FEMALE HEARTS TO SHAKE & SHIMMY – DR. HAL ART SHOW STILL UP  & RUNNING, VISIT SAME THIS WEEK  @ MERCURY CAFE – WATCH FOR OUR FABLED FORTHCOMING, CULMINATING XMAS SHOW + SOCIAL NOTES + PUZZLING EVIDENCE PRESENTS MORE– ON YOU TUBE +

A DECEMBER YOU’LL REMEMBER!


–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Bacall
to Arms
(1946). Well, Clampett also teamed up with Dr. Seuss to produce this week’s cartoon–
Horton Hatches the Egg
(1942). Yes, that Horton. In addition to his heroic advocacy for Whoville,
the titular pachyderm also hatched an egg, in Clampett’s engaging version of the Seuss book.
Clampett adds his own sardonic touches. At one point, as the ship transporting the tree-sitting
elephant
is making its way across the Atlantic, a fish with the face and voice of Peter Lorre sticks
his head out of the water, takes in the spectacle and languidly exclaims, “Now I‘ve seen everything”
and whips out a gun and blasts his brains out. For some reason, they censor this part when they
show it. Actually, lately they don’t even show it. But KrOB does, at Ask Dr. Hal! For those who can
truly appreciate it, this cartoon is a beautiful and artistic creation. And we don’t censor anything.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your
Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished
popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.
So be on time! If you‘re habitually missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice & not getting
full equity on your admission price…
Do we really have to explain who Peter Lorre was?

Also with…
KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
ALONG CAME… A SPIDER!

Giant Spiders often have enlivened our shows in the past– now KrOB unveils a pulse-pounding
encounter
with another outsized arachnid. Although Spiders frighten most people, being as they
are a living embodiment of elements of unstifled Nature which force us to confront her most
sinister potentialities, it should be said in all fairness that these creatures, particularly the giant kind,
are really rather fragile. Once one can get past the understandable loathing and cosmic horror
they tend to inspire, once deprived of the element of surprise, most of these arthropodal prodigies
can be disposed of with only moderate effort. The oft-feared tarantula cannot withstand even the
slightest jar
which breaks the seals at the leg joints and kills the creature by allowing the lymph,
spider circulatory fluid, to leak out. This is also true of the far more fearsome and larger Brazilian
Wandering Spider,
Phoneutria nigriventer. This Goliath of spiders, highly venomous and fiercely
aggressive, will pursue and attack humans, but has proven to be equally vulnerable (our late
grandmother once killed one, in 1926, with a broom). The spider in KrOB’s cautionary excerpt,
only slightly but significantly larger than today’s known types of Phoneutria, appears to be perhaps
some kind of an enlarged Latrodectus mactans, a spider notorious for its neurotoxic venom even
when found at its regular size. But in Earth’s prehistoric past, huge spiders did flourish in the
Paleozoic, far bulkier than even the eight-legged colossus KrOB will gleefully exhibit. Scientific!
Educational! It’s a fair bet that no other night club show, on Cesar Chavez Street in San Francisco
or anywhere else, presents anything like this as a diversion for its audience. Not for children or
those easily shocked.
Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!


PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE THRILLS!
Our Science Segment…  

Prevailing theory suggests that cosmic rays are accelerated to energies of billions to even trillions
of electron volts by the expanding shock waves generated when massive stars explode. Hear ADH
Science Solon
Pete Goldie expound on gamma ray bursts and how cosmic rays with even higher
energies
are thought to be powered by supermassive black holes at the centers of galaxies (our own
galaxy, the Milky Way, has one of these). Kinks in a galaxy’s magnetic field keep cosmic ray particles
bouncing back and forth between the advancing shock wave and the immediately anterior region–
revving them up, as it were, to these high energy levels. Who knows? Perhaps gamma-ray emissions
from starburst galaxies peak at the energy generated when a certain subatomic particle known as a
neutral pion decays into two gamma rays. These galactic pions can be generated only by cosmic-ray
collisions. Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology, and motion of celestial
objects,
as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, also isn’t beyond a nod
to high-energy physics to make his point. And, with computer-jockey David Capurro‘s assistance (see
below) he usually also illustrates his presentation with rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System.
A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

COMPUTER FREEBOOTER GETS CUTER!
The Visual Dimension… 

In a cloud of swirling incense, David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro, a mainstay of our show for lo these
many years, provides a running visual commentary to all that is said and done as the show goes
on. It works like this: we mention a topic, David operates his keyboard, and almost instantly there’s
a related image up on the screen. I.J. (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity Yo-Yo
Pro,
one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master of Yo-Yo Fu extraordinaire, is a multi-talented,
accomplished baker and a competent guitarist. A cool customer– but he really lives for but one
purpose. His main delight
in this life is to ask an anonymous question at Ask Dr. Hal! and get host
Chicken, unknowingly, to pour him a free shot of Fernet. And in this, strangely enough, he always
succeeds.
He sure can do it.
So he does it. That settles it.

NEWS – 

FRANK CHU TAKES EXTENDED SABBATICAL

Famed Street Prophet Frank Chu has dropped out of Ask Dr. Hal! for the time being, and we see
no further purpose in continuing to advertise his presence at our show. Frank and Ask Dr. Hal! go
back a long way, but he hasn’t been making his scheduled appearances with us for the past ten
weeks– we
hear he has some sort of “trouble with Fridays” –so we at Ask Dr. Hal! have reluctantly
acquiesced to his need to go his merry way. It seems that also our well-known doorman Robert
Levy,
who ran the 12 Galaxies Night Club back in the day, is also too busy for us in these hard times.
So, we‘re replacing removed Robert with our new doorkeeper– Jimmy! (See below.)

PRESENTING JIMMY– OUR NEWEST ADH DOORMAN!

He’s tall and lanky, easy-going and affable– unless someone tries to get in without paying the freight.
Meet Jimmy, the newest sensational discovery at Ask Dr. Hal!, the world’s foremost question-and-
answer night club show.
Jimmy will take your admission payment and direct you to your seat, making
ingress to the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret virtually anxiety-free. And… girls– we hear he‘s “available!”
‘Nuff said.

ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at

the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page).

The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB.

Keep watching this space for our announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books,

The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

–And don’t forget! We’re counting down to our

Megalo-Annual Christmas Show–


FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========


OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as, “The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]


PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
****** (Keep watching this space for developing details!) *****

SOCIAL NOTES

Friday nite our crowd gotta loada chortlin’ Chicken John’s new “stage modifications–” get this: a special
Box Seat
for the stupefied Smoke Pot Guys! That’s krusty Ken Karefree & philosophical Phineas T. Smokepott,
who now have their own VIP (Very Intoxicated Patrons) area– compleat w/ bags o’chips, couch & blaring, garish
blacklite poster. How’s that for service? Meanwhile, former doorman ramblin’ Robert Levy has rambled on, so we
now have joltin” Jimmy, our current major-domo of the threshold. He’s the towering ticket-taker and cash catcher
you’ll find hovering by our portals, mortals… Y’know, we dunno whether weather conditions‘ll downsize our upcoming
audience…
The weather bureau boys & gals say we’re in for some striding storms… lashings of rain… great. Just
what this show needs. Well, why not ride out the blast inside the comfy confines of the good, old Chez Poulet Gallery
Cabaret,
eh? Why not? Oh, what we go through… Well, good weather brought out dashing Davy, granite-jawed Gooby,
lounge-lizard Lloyd Mongoloid of Mongoloid & Cookie Mongoloid fame, mild-mannered Miles who was miles of
smiles, mummenschanzer Moses Grubb, sensational Sean Kelly, sensual Sadie (a Canine American) & quondam
fellow performer with delighted Dr. Hal, lovely Linda Robertson… We thought we caught a glimpse of jewel-like Jenner,
one-time Odeon bartender & now writer of one of the few blogs really worth your attention (at
http://lastcallsf.com/
on the Interweb)… but she, whoever, was in the back… couldn’t tell… hard to squint thru those brite lites… Jasmine-
fresh Jean quizzed & queried us– abt. invisible upchuck, but careening Cappy’s antics on the computer created a
distraction on the screen whose uproar scrambled the reception of the answer… betterluck nextime… Then definitely
determined Dini wanted to know if fire always goes with smoke…  Deconstructing aphorisms, that’s what we so often end
up doing…Bus Trip & Burner Vet observable Obo Martin attended, wrapped in a blanket it seemed, unless memory plays
us false… Digital David Capurro‘s station was incensed, Fernet by cheeky Chicken was dispensed… And so it was. On
the way out we chatted with kurvaceous Kate Willett & mainstay Marc Roper… Another show did all befall, so thanx
to one & thanx to all…And speaking of thanks, ranks, patient Puzzling Evidence could use some– you can bet the
mortgage
he was at the Show again, shooting us more for those You Tube entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite,
to appear beneath this site… like these most recent ones! Keep going– just drop your eyes down… on down to these…


…AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…


Pete Goldie performs as only he can, as we launch ADH November 27th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/mPBiks3NrKM

But then Dr. Hal is forced by the audience‘s caprice to discuss, among other things, He-Man‘s
underwear (and outerwear)
November 27th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/fs15xIOHnRE

Kids have the Damnedest Names as we find from Dr. Hal, who then must flip into “Beatnik” Mode,
and more that same night of
November 27th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/ePzgtPHtquA

Robin Coomer’s KrOB Moment! But perhaps she deserved better. Still, that’s what it was, on the
27th of November (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/NvriDE9d9eU

Did dinosaurs smile at rainbows? This fragment takes you to the Dance Party, or part of it, on
November 27th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/dybgS-Oyh9w

What better way to start than with Pete Goldie‘s Science Report? We recapitulate our show, which first
took place
November 20th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/10/9b10X8U7Dwc

Science has its day, the 19th Psalm and even an a cappella rendition of lyrics from
an extremely obscure musical show as
we continue with the best moments shaved
from the A
DH of November 20th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/9/UdozeN4f-Aw

And then a Rebuke to hoarders (of all things) distinguishes this minuscule mote
comprising a significant chunk of show on
November 20th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/xbEENziL8zY

Incubi et Succubae concern usboth transitory stages of the same volant creature,
just one more Awesome Revelation served up by Ask
Dr. Hal! on November 20th
(Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mi4pWmdyR8o

Bodily functions discussed with an air of unction before questing bumpkins on
that
November 20th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/gOJQJemiIsQ

The Viking Code ends the Show, thanks be to Wotan…Gods, History and Church
forever….or until
YouTube gives up the ghost. The last of November 20th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/BUr2XFfl4s0 

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]     

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 11th!

ASK Dr. HAL Daringly Dives into December!

December 1st, 2009

The next Ask Dr. Hal! Show is December 4th!

YOU’RE INVITED!

Chicken John
presentS

THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL

ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW   
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
FRIDAY, December 4th!  
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!           
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. 
Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Robert Levy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie‘s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Dr. Hal answers your queries! They’re all back– doing
the show once more! Everybody– even– Woo-hoo! –Frank Chu!
It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the final curtain might fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’d miss it all!
Admission —       $10.00      (TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)

[Our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

=======The Dr. Hal Report=========
Vol. XII                                                          No. 8

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me
there lay an invincible summer.”

– Albert Camus

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

KARTOON : THE WOLF HOWLS FOR LAUREN BACALL IN CLAMPETT’S SUPRESSED KARTOON KLASSIC, BACALL TO ARMS (1946) + THEN IN “SKINS VS. SHIRTS,” KrOB’S VOLATILE VISION OF SKELETONS BATTLING HEROIC THESSALIAN WARRORS TO THE DEATH, WE’LL PUT YOU IN JUST THE RITE MOOD FOR THE XMAS ‘TUDE + INTERVIEW 4 U + BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE & YOU CAN’T LOSE + DAVID CAPURRO ES YO-YO PURO + PETE GOLDIE’S TRULY UNCANNY SPACE REVELATIONS WILL MAKE YOU END UP SEEING STARS + NEWS: CHICKEN “MODIFYING” ADH SET, DR. HAL ART SHOW STILL UP & RUNNING, VISIT SAME THIS WEEK  @ MERCURY CAFE, WATCH FOR OUR FORTHCOMING, CULMINATING XMAS SHOW + SOCIAL NOTES: MOB
OFSMART PEOPLE STAMPEDE INTO SOLD-OUT SHOW, BIRTHDAY GREETING
RESPONSE AVALANCHE + PUZZLING EVIDENCE ADDS MORE YOU TUBE XCERPTS +
A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!
Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, the pro-smoking No Smoking (1951) in which Goofy first attempts
to reject, but then fully embraces the tobacco habit. But this week KrOB’ll outdo himself in his
selection of suppressed animated masterpieces as he presents Warner Bros. animation
director Robert “King” Clampett’s irrepressible Bacall to Arms (1946). This was Clampett’s
second-to-last cartoon at Warners, though he was left uncredited (because he had left the
studio before the cartoon was released). There’s no mistaking Clampett’s directorial presence,
but it’s said that after his departure studio hacks altered the film somewhat, causing its flow
to be jumpier than the usual perfectly-timed Clampett product. What is undisputed is that the
final gag, whether or not Clampett’s, has placed Bacall to Arms on the Do Not Show List, and
in consequence it never appears on television. The entire ending, where the Tex Avery-esque
Wolf happily puffs on Laurie Be-Cool’s cigarette only to get shot by  Bogey GoCart, who then
retrieves the cigarette and smokes it (only for it to blow up and turn him blackfaced, saying in the
voice of African-American comedian Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, “My, oh my! I can work for
Mr. Benny now!”
) was completely cut when the rest of the film was shown on TNT, a cable
channel owned by Ted Turner. The opposing view, ours at Ask Dr. Hal! –is that this gag should
not be seen as either racist or even mean-spirited, but more of a contemporary acknowledgement
of a popular radio program (soon to be a nationally known show in the early days of the television
medium). While we would not ever argue that we are now in a “post-racial” society, whatever that
might mean, we do maintain that there needs to come a day when we can accept caricatures which
acknowledge “racial” differences (the entire concept of “race” we know to be scientifically fallacious)
as part of the tradition of universal humor which includes caricatura. We do admit that it isn’t our
particular ox being gored here, but does it then follow that we, cartoon-lovers and lovers of culture
in general, must accept being told we are not allowed our own overview of the matter? Yes, those
unappointed theoreticians, the lame-o censors, the people who know what’s good for you better
than you do, have decreed that this cartoon be never, ever shown. But of course at AskDr. Hal! we
are, as always, taking pains to give you the whole thing, complete and uncut. Oh, it helps to know
something about Ernest Hemingway, his novel To Have and Have Not, the Warner Bros. movie of the
same name, its stars (and actual lovers) Humphrey Bogart and (the then 19-year-old) Lauren Bacall
and maybe for good measure what movie shows used to be like. But even from a perspective of total
ignorance
of all the things which make up the backstory of Bacall to Arms, the receptive viewer can
enjoy the film’s eloquent articulation of the universal language of comedy. That’s where we stand. So
join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure  of your Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular
culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on
time! If you’re habitually missing these things you’re doing yourself a disservice & not getting full
equity on your admission price…

Also with…
NEW HERETOFORE UNSHOWN KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
Dry Bones vs. Flesh & Blood!

Clattering Skeleton Swordsmen Best Heroes in Combat–
Due to an unexpected “glitch” we weren’t able to show the intended KrOB Edit, the Skeletonous
Skirmish,
so we showed a substitute KrOB Klassic, Monster Snake Coffee Break. And the crowd
loved it, so there was no loss… Still, we’ll show it this week– so here’s last week’s write-up once
again, ideally descriptive of what you’ll see on the 4th… Nothing is wasted on the Show. Except,
each week, the coterie of so-called Smoke Pot Guys who always sit together. Anyway, long, long ago,
as every schoolboy knows, Prince Phrixus of Boiotia, son of Athamas, and his twin sister Helle
were both cordially hated by their cruel stepmother, Ino (their mother had been Nephele, a minor
goddess of the clouds, but someone Ino always felt herself being unfairly measured against). So she
arranged an honor for the two– to be sacrificed to the Harvest Gods. (It may have been a very great
honor, but the kids were actually dubious about this.) Fortunately, Nephele sent them a miraculous
flying ram,
on whose fleecy back they got away, just in time. Starting either from Halos in Thessaly
or, according to some, Orchomenus in Boeotia, they cruised at a low-flying altitude over the strait of
the Dardanelles until, when they hit an air pocket, Helle slipped off and fell all the way into the sea
and was killed. They call that body of water the Hellespont, in Helle’s honor– or, the Sea of Helle.
At least there’s the honor.

Phrixus eventually landed in Colchis, where he was adopted by kindly King
Aetes. The ram, as a reward for saving the Prince’s life, was sacrificed to Jove– a great honor, to
be sure– and the golden fleece of this deceased magical beast was hung up in the Holy Grove of
Ares, guarded by a reptilian monster, a many-eyed, multi-headed dragon. So, to make a long story
short, Jason and his Argonauts appeared. With Princess Medea’s help Jason managed to kill the
guardian monster. And then, as they were trying to leave, Aetes, to stop them, sowed the dragon’s
teeth (a Hydra
in the movie) –from them, up sprung the legions slain of the monster, a skeleton army.
So watch as KrOB marshals a skeletonous skirmish, animated by the divine Ray Harryhausen, our
Master Puppeteer. Cheers! Oh, what happened to the fleece, you ask? Why, Zeus placed it amid the
stars, a thoughtful gesture. The constellation of Ares is principally formed of the stars Hamai,
Sheratan
and Mesarthim, the latter one of the very first binary stars ever to be discovered, in 1664.The Cloven Foot of the Ram. Just ask Pete Goldie. Hamai is a magnitude 2.2 star. Ares, or Aries
may be found somewhat below Triangulum. By the way, you might want to know that Hamai, 72
light-years distant, is heading straight for us– rapidly approaching at 9 miles per second.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

DAVID CAPURRO ADDS VISUAL EXCITEMENT, LAFFS
Think Dr. Hal talks through his hat? You won’t think so after you watch what Yo-yo Pro Dave
“Computer Jockey” Capurro puts up on our Giant Screen. Even as Dr. Hal is speaking, David’s
dexterous digits flash across his keyboard– and, presto! A confirming (or at least congruent) image
appears on the screen! (Usually, filthy.) And the crowd goes wild. Yes, this week too on ADH we
can expect the multi-talented David Capurro once again to ride herd on the accompanying
images which constantly stream under his assured direction to accompany and illustrate the
oft-controversial conversational vagaries and Mercurial meanderings of Dr. Hal, Pete Goldie and
the guests of Ask Dr. Hal!

PETE GOLDIE WINS 1st PLACE– IN SPACE!
Our Science Segment…
Pete Goldie has his head in the clouds, even beyond them in the endless reaches of space –but his
feet are planted firmly on the ground. In our show Pete deals with the science of celestial objects
(such as stars, planets, comets, and galaxies) and phenomena that originate outside the Earth’s
atmosphere (such as auroras and cosmic background radiation). A student of the evolution, physics,
chemistry, meteorology, and motion of these celestial objects, as well as the formation and future
development of the universe itself, he illustrates his presentation with rare pictures of strange worlds
in our own Solar System. A Dr. Hal Show Special Featurette.

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
CHICKEN JOHN PROMISES “SPECIAL MODIFICATION” OF ADH SET

An architectural wonder, the standing set for Ask Dr. Hal! was created and constructed under the close
supervision of ADH Science Dept. Head Pete Goldie. Sturdily built on its enduring raised platform, the
set, bolted to the wall of the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret with massive steel sections, is said to be not
only earthquake-proof, and thus certified safe for local performances in the Hayward Fault Geosynclinal
Fold Zone, but also the only structure of its kind capable of withstanding a nuclear war (if shielded from
the initial thermal pulse of a directed groundburst)– probably the single strongest component of the
entire building. (This is in contrast to the floor of Chez Poulet, built to be thinner than needed by cost-
conscious Chicken to maximize savings– and in consequence, prone to give way suddenly, at inopportune
moments, causing unexpected sinking of audience members and seats.)

Now The Dr. Hal Report has learned (from a recent Facebook posting) that energetic Chicken is currently altering the famed stage structure, with a view toward honoring a special portion of our faithful fellow-travelling ADH audience.
No word yet certified for public release from the crafty showman has been received on the specific nature
of the modifications involved; however, we can assert with unalloyed confidence that these will become
obvious to all attendees during the very next episode of Ask Dr. Hal!

“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the
demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

–And don’t forget! We’re counting down to our Megalo-
Annual Christmas Show–
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========
OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as, “The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]
PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
******** (Keep watching this space for developing details!) **********

SOCIAL NOTES
What a Mercurial master is Show Business, whose parameters change each week
as they will, shifting between highs & lows without rhyme or reason. You read here
last wk. about our miserably puny audience showing for our iteration on the 20th of
Nov. –hardly worth doing the show, was the gestalt floating among (some) ADH cast
& crew. Barely in 2 digits, dig it? But then, lastweek, we had ’em sitting in the aisles
(after seats ran out). Lucky for us, ’twas one of our better outings, according to the
grapevine… But really, folks, a good audience makes a good show, or makes a
good show better– we’re nourished by your questions, and good ones can help us
put out a few new young shoots and leaves, even fruit on occasion… Perfunctory
“gag” questions from a minimal and/or indifferent group, on th’ other hand, only shrivel
us
inside our bark, to continue the arboreal metaphor, or introduce the gypsy moth
caterpillar
or the boring apple worm… those guys… So we were wowed by the
krowd, and Chicken was even so encouraged that he’s altering the ADH Set for
nextime (see News, above)… And who were these robust roisterers, some new to Ask
Dr. Hal?
These pioneers? Well, they weren’t all new faces– we even were visited by
charming Chuckles the Clown, an old chum up from Lost Angeles on a recon mission,
and steadfast Cookie Mongoloid lead Lloyd Mongoloid… Artist lovely Lynn Rubenzer
was in the house, & we noted careening Carl Heiney lurching about on a late-nite jaunt
our way… Then there were easy-on-the-eyes Eileen Hassi, curvaceous Connie Hendrix
with torpedo Todd, sultry Suzanne Stefanac, another visitor from afar, alluring aerialist
Mesmerizing Miriam Telles, slinky Sarah Szczechowicz and molasses-sweet Molly…
Dashing D. Steven Black was back… Originally hailing from Doylestown, Pennsylvania
(“Hub
of the Universe”) –why can’t ‘Frisco get itself a snazzy moniker like that? –were a
wide-travelled bunch, who came to see us on a hunch– incl. some doctors inna house
battling Bruce Hall M.D., his wife captivating Cathy Matyas Hall, his sister komely Kathryn
Hall M.D.,
her husband red-blooded Richard Neilson Esq. J.D. (heeza legal eagle) &
paideutic Pete Goldie‘s best buddy since 2nd grade masterful Mike Anciaux, his Better
Half winsome Wendy Wolfe, & their said-to-be progressive and politically astute son (now
of legal age, but in point of fact underage when Chicken forced a pair of Fernet shots on
him) erudite Erik Anciaux… Euphoric Erik, who seemed unfazed by the alcoholic assault,
shares Dr. Hal’s birthday of Nov. 28th…  “All of those people are smarter than I am,”
moaned perturbed Pete Goldie, who reported “a few difficulties” during the Space Science
Update… 
As championing Chicken maintains, it’s an intellectual salon, after all, perplex’d
Pete– at least, that’s part of what he says… No complaints or snide Side Notes from the
likes of frantic Fernando Espinoza, jocund J.D., luscious Lucy, bold Ben Kaminsky or
swooner-crooner zest-filled Zoli Lundy, slumming at our show… And speaking of songbirds,
ravishing Robin Coomer, star of Loop! Station and friend of Shake Well, put in an appealing
appearance, gladdening our doddering frame to its crumbling core– she requested a Two-
Minute Dance Party
at the rite moment; request granted, radiant Robin… Yes, declining Dr.
Hal
has now– incredibly –become 59, and is accepting condolences at this time…Thanx to
everyone who commemorated– we can’t thank ’em all, but sure appreciated shout-outz from
shapely Spy Emerson, tempting Tina M. Salmon, pneumatic Pamela Lane, righteous
Randolph “Rocknar” Vance, the heavenly handful Holy Hemptress, sultry Sadie Lune/
Anomaly,
lavish Leslie Alexander, jocose Jim Earp, phenomenal Phineas Narko, righteous
Robert Levy–
great cake & no mistakeartistic & alluring Angela Knowles, dependable
David Doyle, sizzling Solar Lab– when does she get back from N.Y.? —bold Bill Kates,
steadfast Skot Kuiper, marvelous Miriam Telles, theologically-oriented TheFather of Time,
supernal Sister Krystyna Olsiewicz, demented Dale Larson, manly Mark Smith, japester
Jascha Ephraim,
rumbustious Rob Coleman, kute Kim Jordan, original Orpheus Stain,
kurvaceous Khristina VanHall, fabulous Frannie Germeshausen, languid Louise
Jarmilowicz,
hot-number Holly Hitch, luscious Lena Strayhorn, marksman Mars Elliot,
just-plain-gorgeous Janay Rose & ubiquitous Uriah Findley… the Nonchalant Cell &
Friends of curt Commander 14 & all you hard-working boys ‘n gals down at “Elect Harry S.
Robins for Congress 2010”
–thanx for the enthusiasm, howe’er misplaced. And speaking of
thanks, ranks, patient Puzzling Evidence needs some– he gave us a digital camera so’s we
could follow in his size 17 footsteppz– & you can bet the farm he was at the Show again,
shooting us more for those You Tube entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite, to appear
beneath this site… like these most recent ones! Keep going– just drop your eyes down… on
down to these…

…AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence,
you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
–on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just paste these
handy URLs into your browser. Child’s play. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…
Let’s start with Pete Goldie’s Science Report as we recapitulate our show, which first
took place November 20th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/10/9b10X8U7Dwc

Science has its day, the 19th Psalm and even an a cappella rendition of lyrics from
an extremely obscure musical show as we continue with the best moments shaved
from the ADH of November 20th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/9/UdozeN4f-Aw

And then a Rebuke to hoarders (of all things) distinguishes this minuscule mote
comprising a significant chunk of show on November 20th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/xbEENziL8zY

Incubi et Succubae concern us– both transitory stages of the same volant creature,
just one more Awesome Revelation served up by Ask Dr. Hal! on November 20th
(Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mi4pWmdyR8o

Bodily functions discussed with an air of unction before questing bumpkins on
that November 20th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/gOJQJemiIsQ

The Viking Code ends the Show, thanks be to Wotan…Gods, History and Church
forever….or until YouTube gives up the ghost. The last of November 20th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/BUr2XFfl4s0

The great Geoff Ellsworth of the Towne Dandies opens for us– see the highlights!
He’s amazing! –on November 13th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/16/9wiVQPSnivIThen Pete Goldie adds Science (Astronomy) to the History portion from Mr. Ellsworth’s
light-hearted opening 1-man revue to flavor our savory November 13th salad (Pt. 2), and
Dr. Hal adds an Invocation from the Bard:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/15/CZB5zAilD_o

Lovely Robin Coomer endures a KrOB Moment and a revolting, slimy swallop of (ugh)
Fernet… Also, His Grace, the Duke of Uke proves to be among us and is cajoled into an
impromptu turn on his signature instrument, the ukulele November 13th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/14/ni2sXf24yi8

Principal co-expressibility is illustrated by KrOB’s artistry, and more on (moron?) that
selfsame November 13th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/13/u7uQtvu3sbY

Robert Levy subjects himself to the KrOB Plunge; merriment ensues November 13th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/12/hkUp2yY1TRc

The Pleasure Saucers of the Sex Goddesses come in for a mention, and, BTW folks, we’ve
been to X-Day– several times –and those Goddesses are really real. So endeth the show,
with Sam Gamgee’s The Stone Troll, on November 13th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/11/lm9Jz0oINoY

A show without Pete Goldie– and a drunken Jarico Reese is drafted as scientist-in residence
on a hapless November 6th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/GS14DNjswSA

Then Dr. Hal recites Henley’s Invictus, and we’re off, that November 6th (Pt. 2):http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mm8pKOwNPWg

Things look up when distracting Jenner shows up, but Dr. Hal isn’t fast enough to answer.
Then we parse the Genesis of Bibendum November 6th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/-T_8UYYFeu8

I am Spy’s Brain is the Readers’ Digest article next summarized November 6th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/eW2vrao-CTE

Shelley’s apostrophe to the Skylark somehow is added to this non-homogenous mixture to
conclude the show of November 6th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/ntE3MS-fSeQ

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

Happening This Friday Night

            Dec. 4th!

ASK Dr. HAL! Has a POST-THANKSGIVING PRE-BIRTHDAY Party!

November 23rd, 2009

Chicken John
presents
====== THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL =========
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW 

NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
FRIDAY, November 27th!
THE DAY IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THANKSGIVING;
THE DAY IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING Dr. HAL’S BIRTHDAY
—SPECIAL “THANKSBIRTHGIVINGDAY” SHOW—
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!         
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr.
Hal!
Show
(beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Robert Levy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie’s
Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet!
Dr. Hal answers your queries! They’re all back– doing
the show once more! Everybody– even– Woo-hoo! –Frank Chu!
It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the final curtain might fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’d miss it all!
Admission —       $10.00      (TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)  

[Our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

=========The Dr. Hal Report============
Vol. XII                                                                         No. 7

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.”
– Jean Paul Richter
“The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are
always being asked to do thing
s, and yet you are not decrepit
enough to turn them down.”
– T.S. Eliot
“Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people
are no good at everything.”

– Moe, from The Simpsons

A NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!
Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, the outstanding Warner Bros. short, Book Revue (1945). But now
we go to Disney for holiday inspiration, when the hovering question of Will Power versus
Self-indulgence looms the largest. In that spirit, KrOB offers No Smoking (1951) in which
Goofy first attempts to reject, but then fully embraces the tobacco habit. That’s why lame-o
censors, the people who know what’s good for you better than you do, have decreed that
this little cartoon be never, ever shown. But of course at Ask Dr. Hal! we are, as always,
taking pains to give you the whole thing, complete and uncut. So join us this Friday night,
won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s once flourishing
but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on time!

” A Disney cartoon from the 50’s that would have today’s censors going nuts.”
–DevilDucky
Also with…
NEW KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
Clash of Combat– with Dry Bones!

As every schoolboy knows, Prince Phrixus of Boiotia, son of Athamas, and his twin sister Helle
were both cordially hated by their cruel stepmother, Ino (Their mother had been Nephele, a minor
goddess of the clouds, but someone Ino always felt herself being unfairly measured against). So she
arranged an honor for the two– to be sacrificed to the Harvest Gods. (It may have been a very great
honor, but the kids were actually dubious about this.) Fortunately, Nephele sent them a miraculous
flying ram, on whose fleecy back they got away, just in time. Starting either from Halos in Thessaly
or, according to some, Orchomenus in Boeotia, they cruised at a low-flying altitude over the strait of
the Dardanelles until, when they hit an air pocket, Helle slipped off and fell all the way into the sea
and was killed. They call that body of water the Hellespont, in Helle’s honor– or, the Sea of Helle.
At least there’s the honor. Phrixus eventually landed in Colchis, where he was adopted by kindly King
Aetes. The ram, as a reward for saving the Prince’s life, was sacrificed to Jove– a great honor, to
be sure– and the golden fleece of this deceased magical beast was hung up in the Holy Grove of
Ares,
guarded by a reptilian monster, a many-eyed, multi-headed dragon. So, to make a long story
short, Jason and his Argonauts appeared. With Princess Medea’s help Jason managed to kill the
guardian monster. And then, as they were trying to leave, Aetes, to stop them, sowed the dragon’s
teeth (a Hydra in the movie) –from them, up sprung the legions slain of the monster, a skeleton army.
So watch as KrOB marshals a skeletonous skirmish, animated by the divine Ray Harryhausen, our
Master Puppeteer. Cheers! Oh, what happened to the fleece, you ask? Why, Zeus placed it amid the
stars, a thoughtful gesture. The constellation of Ares is principally formed of the stars Hamai, Sheratan and Mesarthim, the latter one of the very first binary stars ever to be discovered, in 1664.
The Cloven Foot of the Ram. Just ask Pete Goldie. Hamai is a magnitude 2.2 star. Ares, or Aries
may be found somewhat below Triangulum. By the way, you might want to know that Hamai, 72 light-years distant, is heading straight for us– rapidly approaching at 9 miles per second.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

SPOTLIGHT ON DAVID CAPURRO FOR NOV.27th ADH–
KING OF THE YO-YO VARIETY ARTISTES
This week on ADH we can expect the multi-talented David Capurro once again to
ride herd on the accompanying images which constantly stream under his assured
direction to accompany and illustrate the conversational vagaries and Mercurial
meanderings of Dr. Hal, Pete Goldie and the guests of Ask Dr. Hal! But there are some
who though used to “Cappy’s” magisterial, incense-shrouded presence on our stage, are
unaware that he’s also a master manipulator extraordinaire of that curious artifact, the
Yo-Yo. In fact, he’s one of the brightest lights in the Yo-Yo world, and, a veteran of
countless shows, has appeared on both Cable and Network TV. He is the head and
founder of the foremost contemporary society of Yo-Yo gentleman adventurers, the
Spin Doctors’ Yo-Yo Club, headquartered in scenic Alameda, CA, and is a former
member of crimefighting Team Yoyojam. No amateur, he has been a player in the Yo-Yo
industry, with a professional résumé from BC/Tom Kuhn Yo-Yos. In 2007 at the US
National Yo-Yo Contest, David received the prestigious National Achievement Award.
For those unfamiliar with the honor, the National Achievement Award is bestowed on
“a person whose effort successfully improves the sport, and positively influences the
industry.” We couldn’t list all the venues David’s Yo-Yo’d for– there wouldn’t be room,
even here. But some of them include the Fillmore, the Great American Music Hall, Slim’s,
Jimmy Kimmel Live, Paul Nathan‘s Dark Kabaret, Sioux City Art Splash Festival 2000,
The Odeon, Chris Karney‘s Visceral Variety Show, the Discovery Channel, Bravo, the
(U.S.) National Yo-Yo Contest, the Bay Area Classic Yo-Yo Contest, the California State
Yo-Yo Championships, the West Coast Regional Yo-Yo Championships, First Night Santa
Cruz, Chicken John‘s You Asked For It!, the Steel Reserve Brewing Company, the
Exotic/Erotic Ball and on and on. Modest Mr. Capurro could brag, but doesn’t, about his
extraordinary list of awards and citations– here’re just a few, to give the idea: in the 1998
Bay Area Classic, Dave took 1st Place in the Advanced Division, scored 1st place in
1-Handed Compulsories and Freestyle Divisions during the 1999 Southeast Regionals, also
scoring in the 1999 Marin County Yo-Yo Classic in the Freestyle Division. Again in 1999, at
the East Bay Super Spin-Out, David took the 1st Place Award in the 1-Handed Freestyle
Division, and he won 1st Place as well in the Expert Division of the Northern California
Championships. 2001 saw him achieve victory in the California State Championships,
winning 1st Place in the Ladder Division for his age group. More recently, in the 2004 Bay
Area Classic, he became the overall high scorer among all Age Divisions for his victories
in the Sport Ladder Division. Every now and then, he’s been known to break out his Yo-Yos and give Ask Dr. Hal! audiences an impromptu thrill. He should also get some kind of
award for the Most Free Fernet Shots Finagled out of Chicken John…

PETE GOLDIE CUTS TO THE CHASE– IN SPACE!
“Why the !!?@#$%?!!,” Chicken John recently expostulated, “do we have to let !!?@#$%?!!
Pete Goldie go on and on about the !!?@#$%?!! “Chandra Levy Orbiting Oscilloscope” or
whatever the !!?@#$%?!! it is?” But in fact, old contentious Chicken was just blowing off steam–
he really knows the score. In what some consider the best part of our show, ADH Science
expert Pete Goldie leads attendees through the endless reaches of the Universe in his
continuing segment & educational project, ” (The) Waste(s) of Space.” Pete will be on hand
this week too, to present more of the newest discoveries made in the eternal realms of the
unfathomable void.

NEWS – SF CHRONICLE RATES CHICKEN JOHN “BEST
OPPONENT” TO MAYOR GAVIN NEWSOM
ANTI-NEWSOM EDITORIAL RIFFS ON CHICKEN’S MAYORAL BID

“What’s with this snubbing the press?” rhetorically asks a sneering column by San Francisco
hometown newsrag The Chronicle, with a byline by one C.W. Nevius. In a rant about how the
Mayor
seems to be hiding after dropping out of consideration for the gubernatorial race, his
downfall is intimated a few lines later as “Nevius” cites, “…it wasn’t so long ago that he was
such an imposing candidate that the best opponent his enemies could find was Chicken John.”
We at the Dr. Hal Report regret the affront to the standards of journalism exhibited by the
Chronicle in this none-too-subtle suggestion that beloved Ringmonster Chicken John’s late
mayoral candidacy was in essence sponsored– and, it follows, financed –by Mr. Gavin
Newsom’s clandestine “enemies.” To this allegation we at Chicken John Productions can only
reply in bewilderment, where then is the emolument from the Newsom-hating cabal? Lately
money seems to be flowing the other way, from instead of to embattled Chicken as he
continues the struggle against the encircling, constricting tentacled grip of bureaucracy. In a
few words, “Show us the money!”
For the full text of this editorial, go to
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article/article?f=/c/a/2009/11/19/BA4D1AMH90.DTL

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the
demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The
Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks
(which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last, best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.
LETTERS
Reuben Pickering of this City writes,
“The Quantum Mechanics vs. Relativity bit. Thought the answer fudged in a way I didn’t like. I was hoping
to get you to pick one or the other theory as wrong, then make some shit up, instead of essentially blowing
the whole thing off. Anyway, the grounds for your answer were demonstrably wrong, as even at a small scale
where no curvature is locally detectable, a curved spacetime puts constraints on the math that pretty well
fuck [Quantum Mechanics}.
“However, I had a second thought. What if one were to claim that spacetime is both flat and curved at one
and the same time? Then your answer could work. Logically impossible? Maybe. Yet we already have evidence
demonstrating the seemingly logically impossible notion that subatomic objects possess the characteristic of
wave-particle duality.
“One other thing. String Theory. You will never see a question from me about that. In string theory, we see perhaps
the finest minds of my generation having somehow been conned into engaging, in the 21st century, [the]
mathematical equivalent of a grand old Medieval pastime. To wit, debating how many angels could dance on
the head of a pin.
“String theory makes too many claims which simply are not either directly or indirectly testable to be anything
other than bulls___… er, metaphysics.”
Dear Reuben,
We’re sorry, as always, when one of our answers fails to give complete satisfaction. But we did advance the
simultaneity of flat and curved spacetime as a possible answer, one to which you now, at length and after
consideration, seem to be giving more credence. Keep in mind that during the show we have to think on our
feet, coming up with answers at once and on the spot. This being said, the shibboleth of String Theory was
introduced not by us, but by prayer-and-golfing-partner “Chicken” John. We too are uncomfortable with this
topic and avoid it when we can, feeling that today’s science, for a variety of reasons, often finds itself politically
or factionally bound to support not-yet-justified hypotheses as proven– just look at the parlous state vertebrate
paleontology is in, for example. Finally, the canard that the Medieval Schoolmen debated on how many angels
could dance on the head of a pin is inauthentic, not originating with them, but advanced as a parody by a known
wiseacre, one François-Marie Arouet, a.k.a. Voltaire.
Thanks for your interest in Ask Dr. Hal! –and we’ll do our best to entertain you more the next time!
SOCIAL NOTES
Ask Dr. Hal! fell victim to rainy weather last Friday, and there were all too few of the faces we long to see
each wk., even some who had pledged to be there, & our tears of sorrow flowed from our eyes, mingling with
the precipitation on our Cherubic cheeks… But, when all is said, cold & rain are well-known discouragers of
entertainment– & besides, The Show Must Go On, dig? So, on it went, and it was crackerjack, according to
the review from the Faithful Few… Persistent Paul Pot, f’rexample… We appreciate that you all could have
been
at the simultaneously occurring Toshio Hirano concert at the Mercury, still home for now, by th’ bye,
of Dr. Hal’s ongoing Art Show, The Productions of Time. Why not take a look-see? Anyhoo, good-looking
Gina Andrews came, not in vain, despite the rain… Determined Dekoo submitted many a contrary query… Pert
Paula Eckels hasn’t made up her mind whether or not last wks.xtravaganza exemplified faux futility or dusty,
doddering Dr. Hal’s sad senility… Guess the old, grizzled geezer didn’t pleaser… We did welcome escape-artist
& comedian Chris Karney, our old fellow-traveler, & there’s no blarney… But creative Chris also escaped the show,
leaving us early after getting squirrelly… This week we’ll be folding an acknowledgement of hoary headliner
decrepit Dr. Hal’s 59th birthday (November 28th, Saturday) –or was that his 95th? –into our tribute to the Season’s
just-celebrated Holiday, Thanksgiving Week-Out
(November 26th, Thursday) & hope to do better luring our quirky
quondam patrons, all fully stuffed to repletion with the savory flesh of the mutant descendants of Melleagris
gallopavo
, to waddle in for what’ll be the climactic Ask Dr. Hal! Show of the Year, we hear. Yes, declining Dr.
Hal
will shortly be 59, and is accepting condolences at this time…This time of year is short on cheer… But we’ll
bounce back like a new bambino, we prophesy– don’t worry –when these dark daze are past, with plenty of
Slack… Patient photog Puzzling Evidence needs some– he was again shooting us more for those You Tube
entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nitebut You Tube’s been balky about
accepting ‘em of late, according to perplex’d Puzzo… We’ll all just have to be patient while th’ Tubesters
re-configure @ Y.T. HQ… Meanwhile, have you yet checked out the recent ones? Just use the search words Puzzling Evidence TV– maybe throw in You Tube– & view ’em all!

That’s it! See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California  

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]     

Happening This Friday Night– Nov. 27th!

Spend Friday the 13th at ASK Dr. HAL! for Good Luck!

November 9th, 2009

Chicken John presents–
THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL

ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW         
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret      
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)
San Francisco, California

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
Our next show: FRIDAY, November 13th! 

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!           
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===   
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr.
Hal!
Show
(beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) now
bursts again onto the scene– with Chicken John & all your favorite
crew!  With Robert Levy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie’s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet!
Dr. Hal answers your queries! They’re all back– doing
the show once more! Everybody– even– Woo-hoo! —Frank Chu!
It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the final curtain might fall
while you aren’t paying attention– and you’d miss it all!
Admission — $15.00 

(FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)
[For this special, one-time only presentation, Guest Star GEOFF
ELLSWORTH of the Towne Dandies, Chicken will levy a one-time
increase in our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

====The Dr. Hal Report====
Vol. XII                                     No. 5

“True eloquence means saying all that is necessary and only what is
necessary.”

–La Rochefoucauld, Maxims

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

GEOFF ELLSWORTH OF THE TOWNE DANDIES HEADLINES
NOV. 13TH ADH + KARTOON : SUPERMAN WRESTLES
BERSERK GIANT GORILLA IN TOUCHING VIGNETTE + THEN
COWPOKES ROPE AND HOGTIE RAMPAGING DINOSAURS IN
KrOB MONSTER MASTERPIECE  + PETE GOLDIE RETURNING
FROM DEEP SPACE MISSION IN TIME FOR SHOW + NEWS:
DR. HAL ART OPENING NOW UP & RUNNING @ MERCURY
CAFE
+ TOM KENNEDY TRIPARTITE SILENT ART AUCTION TO
CLOSE THURSDAY NOVEMBER 12TH, WITH HAL, CHICKEN
PRESIDING + BLACK DYNAMITE KUNG-FUS THE MAN,
SMOOTH-TALKS THE LADIES ON THE BIG SCREEN THIS
MONTH IN BAY AREA + SOCIAL NOTES — WE’RE AGOG AT
JENNER’S BLOG +YOU’LL FLIP– FOR THE VERY LATEST OF
THOSE KRA-A-AZY DARN PUZ-EV YOU TUBE KLIPS +  

With…
UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
TERROR ON THE MIDWAY (1942)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
Lovingly selected–by KrOB…
Terror on the Midway is the ninth of the seventeen Technicolor
animated cartoons based upon the DC Comics character Superman,
originally created by hapless cartoonists Jerry Siegel and Joe
Shuster.
In it, a bumbling circus monkey accidentally frees a bizarrely
malevolent giant gorilla, who menaces the entire population of the
big top, particularly a frightened toddler and then the ever-in-danger
“girl reporter” Lois Lane. As in all right-wing scenarios, the release
of evil from confinement creates panic and social chaos which can
only be resolved through the exercise of force when a superhuman
strongman appears to restore order and subdue the villain, who
represents the unlimbered id to the fearful-minded.
While any rational consideration of the outcome of a struggle between
the supremely powerful Man of Steel, who after all can destroy planets,
and a mere gorilla, whatever its purported size and ferocity, must point
swiftly to the inevitable outcome, in this case the real struggle was going
on behind the scenes in this classic episode of American animation.
The Superman cartoon series was presented by the Fleischer cartoon
studio at the height of its creative powers. The Fleischer brothers, Max
and Dave, decided that they would make these cartoons the greatest
things anyone had ever seen, even to the point of losing money on them–
which, sadly, they did. Each of the Superman series was so meticulously
constructed that the energy of a full-length feature was often expended in
production. The result was a peak of dynamic animation possibly not
exceeded even in our own time, let alone the 1940s.
Today we are more generally aware that gorillas are not bloodthirsty,
violent monsters, and we recognize, if we are lucky enough to do so, that
such portrayals are reflections of our own fears (Let’s leave King Kong and
his predicament out of this loop). But in the Forties, the U.S. opposed Hitler and the Axis in a trans-global conflict which made the concept of monstrous
aggression needing to be checked a relevant one.
It’s true– as Superman wrestled the gorilla, another struggle was going on for the embattled Fleischers, and one more painfully closer to home, as they
grappled with cost-conscious Paramount, more and more unwilling to lose
money on its short subjects, especially since the war had dried up revenues
from overseas markets. The result was that Max and Dave were bought out,
losing control of their animation factory, which was from then on re-purposed and reincorporated as Famous Studios.
So Terror on the Midway actually occupies the historical position of being the last Fleischer cartoon ever made– the first Famous Studios cartoon had
already been released three weeks before. The eye-popping animation bids
farewell to an ending era.
One problem the brothers had was that they didn’t own their most popular
character, Popeye– legal rights belonged to King Features. In the same way,
Superman was the property of DC Comics. In both cases revenue which could
have propped up the studio was drained at this crucial time in favor of the
copyright holders. They did own Betty Boop, but Puritanism and censorship,
together with the sanitized re-do of her de-sexed character by clueless Famous Studios executives, caused her once-bright star to set rapidly.
DC Comics, incidentally, bought the rights to the incredibly profitable Superman from his two teenaged creators for $100– Siegel & Shuster then lived their lives in relative poverty, hacking their creation’s adventures out at the drawing board for basic wages, while Superman still generates millions today for the company.
— Synopsis —
The story begins with the music and noise of the circus, where we find Daily
Planet reporters Clark Kent and Lois Lane hanging out, enjoying the event’s
vividly-depicted atmosphere. The Planet has again assigned Lois to cover the
circus for a human-interest feature story, her specialty, while that apparent
doofus, Clark, just lounges around and kibitzes. As ambitious go-getter Lois
expresses her regret that she didn’t have a more exciting assignment, a yawning,
laid-back Clark offers his condolences, then takes a taxi back to his hotel. Later
that night, as Lois attends the clown performance, a monkey wanders from the main
tent and accidentally opens the cage of a giant, drooling, glowing-eyed ape.

Growling, the hairy beast barges into the tent, creating cascades of dangerous
pandemonium, stampeding elephants and so forth. Before long, the gorilla is
predictably after Lois as Clark, or rather now Superman, having discarded his
assumed human identity, zooms to the rescue. Much gorilla-bashing ensues.
During the fight, one of the tent poles falls and strikes a power circuit, starting a
fire. Superman saves Lois’s bacon from the flames just in time. The final scene
shows Lois vigorously typing her story, with Clark sitting lazily back in a chair at the
next desk making the usual wisecracks and breaking the fourth wall while smirking
and winking broadly at the audience.
There’s not much more to say– except that the refined, intricate “Fascist Realism” of
presentation has never been more breathtaking than here; experimental lighting and
daring design of the characters were never more extreme. The stylized forms of Clark
and Lois commend our attention– once he got out of his Clark Kent drag, as surviving
model sheets from the studio show, his actual physical proportions changed as he
became Superman, just as his voice changed in mid-sentence as his clothes did, from
“This is a job…” (wimpy Clark Kent voice) “…for Superman!” (now deeper, more
manly Superman voice).
Ultimately thought-provoking, like all good cartoons. Nine minutes of rip-roaring
cartoon action. And a KrOB Personal Favorite, of course!

Also with…
JOLTING EXCITEMENT! —POUNDING HOOVES AND REPTILIAN ROARING
HIGHLIGHT KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
DARING, DASHING, DUSTY TWO-FISTED DINO-ROPERS!
Gronk! KrOB has secluded himself in his atelier to create this absolutely scientific, unique presentation. You’ll see various leathery cowboys on horseback use their lariats to lasso and capture (momentarily) a large carnivorous dinosaur, possibly a living specimen of Giganotosaurus carolinii, one of the largest known theropod dinosaurs. Its remains include a well-preserved braincase that displays a suite of derived characters unique to the animal, and others that help establish its relationships amongst the Theropoda. These, by the way, include the development of a broad frontoparietal skull table that forms a shelf overhanging the supratemporal fenestra, the reorientation of the metotic fissure and fenestra ovalis onto the occiput, the ventral extension of the supraoccipital on either side of the foramen magnum, a broad but low occipital condyle, and pneumatization of the basioccipital. (See Dr. Hal‘s book,
Dinosaur Alphabet [2006] for his own restoration of this species.)

Fossils of the type have been excavated in Africa recently, but the events depicted take place on Mexican soil. Yet in the Mesozoic, or Secondary Era, the present continents were all in different positions; land bridges and island chains existed that have long since vanished. It must have been by these means that the ancestors of the giant allosaurids seen epitomized here found their anachronistic-seeming home in the mysterious Valley of Gwangi (a Native American word meaning “lizard”) located somewhere in Mexico’s remote Sierra Madre Oriental. And there are other “Paleolithic survivals” there, as we’ll see, particularly a bulging, bellicose Styracosaurus. But the great KrOB has, by splicing various Westerns and dinosaur movies together, produced something truly sui generis this
time (unseen by us as of this writing) truly suitable for the Friday the 13th Episode of Ask Dr. Hal! at Chez Poulet. Stop-motion animation by Ray Harryhausen– experience this truly great art with us. Yes, another genuinely educational featurette will be offered as part of our ongoing show at the quasi-legendary, secretly famous C.P. Gallery-Cabaret, the inheritor of the marmoreal mantle of the Odeon, San Francisco’s former Variety Arts Showcase. A venue and an era which has now vanished, like the seemingly endless Age of Reptiles itself, into the Mists of Time.
And the Chez Pouletian Period may too have reached its apogee and– who knows? –be facing its end… Come see these shows while you can.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

  http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky…
PETE GOLDIE RETURNS FROM DEEP SPACE MISSION
FOR NOV.13th ADH–
PROMISES “LONGEST SLIDE-SHOW YET”
Last week at Ask Dr. Hal! headliner Dr. Howland Owll attempted, during the absence of ADH Science Solon Pete Goldie, to preserve some of the long-running show’s  vaunted
“Astronomical currency” by speaking briefly on how a new type of Supernova– the
explosive death of a star– has been discovered, in which helium detonates on the surface
of a White Dwarf star. This exploding celestial furnace, dubbed “SN2002bj” by less-than-
poetic astronomers, was first observed seven years ago in the galaxy NGC 1821 by
amateur sky-watchers but was officially misclassified at the time as a mere Type II
Supernova.
In a Type I stellar explosion, a star accumulates matter from a nearby neighbor until a
runaway nuclear reaction ignites.
In a Type II, a star runs out of nuclear fuel and collapses under its own gravity.
But perplexing SN2002bj had a different signature than any of the variations known in these two types. In particular, it brightened and dimmed over the course of less than 27 days, whereas most Supernovas brighten and dim over three or four months.
In fact, this rapid dimming of the recent Supernova and certain signatures now observed in its spectrum, including an ultra-strong helium signal, suggest that this star exploded by a previously unknown mechanism, first proposed by Lars Bildsten of UC Santa Barbara.
Bildsten’s idea involves a binary pair of white dwarfs, one of which is primarily made of helium that is being slowly siphoned off by its companion. When enough helium accumulates on the surface of the dominant white dwarf, an explosion occurs that powers a faint and brief thermonuclear supernova.
This process is akin to a Nova, where matter, mainly hydrogen, falls onto a star, slowly building up and then exploding, but with less force then a full-fledged supernova. Ultra-explosive SN2002bj had about 1,000 times more energy than a typical Nova, though.
Beloved astro-explicateur Pete “Boffo Boffin” Goldie will, barring catastrophe, re-take his rightful place once again at Ask Dr. Hal! and discourse on this– and other mysteries of Deep Space.

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S NEW ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again, together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of them), Dinosaur AlphabetAlien Apocalypse 2006, and including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show.

The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees and locally produced foods, can be reached at

(415) 252-7855.

CHICKEN JOHN, DR. HAL TO PRESIDE OVER LAST NIGHT OF
BENEFIT AUCTION

In April our friend the amazing artist Tom Kennedy died in a tragic drowning accident at Ocean Beach in San Francisco. The Ripper Journey Foundation has been established in his memory, and the final episode of a three-part art auction fundraiser will take place November 12th at the Jellyfish Gallery, 1286 Folsom Street in San Francisco. The public is invited to participate and attend free of charge.

Among other events of that evening, Chicken John and Dr. Hal will co-execute the Silent Auction.
Tom Kennedy passed away April 12, 2009 while body-surfing. He left behind a legacy as a pioneering sculptural artist, social agitator and builder of more than twenty Art Cars. As a founding member of the Art Car Movement, his works evolved into symbols of political protest and peacekeeping. Tom envisioned his beloved and most recognized art car, Ripper the Friendly Shark, traveling around the world with a crew called
the Friend Patrol. Together they would inspire and support friendship and peace in conflict zones where people perceived as enemies live and work together.
The art auction will raise money to send Ripper the Friendly Shark on this mission at least once a year. The three-part fundraiser wraps up on November 12th with a silent auction and live performances. To date, an ever-growing list of artists has donated artwork to be auctioned with all proceeds to benefit the Ripper Journey Foundation.

Featured artists include, among others, Haideen Anderson, Margot Duane, Karen
Cusolito, Michael Christian, Brian Goggin, Dan Das Mann, Jon Alloway
and Kal Spelletich. The eventwill also showcase photos, art and videos about Tom Kennedy and the Ripper Journey Foundation created in his memory. All pieces in the silent auction will also be online at
tomkennedyart.com.
EVENT DETAILS
Venue: Jellyfish Gallery at 1286 Folsom Street, San Francisco
November 12th ~ Closing Night
6:00 PM until Midnight

This announcement adapted from Scott Beale’s write-up on Laughing Squid. For complete information, go to:

http://laughingsquid.com/tom-kennedy-art-auction-to-benefit-the-ripper-journey-foundation-in-memory-of-tom-kennedy/

BLACK DYNAMITE SHOWINGS IN BAY AREA!
A friend of Dr. Hal’s co-produced this movie, not a satire on the 1970s-era “Blaxploitation” genre (Shaft, Superfly, Foxy Brown, Black Belt Jones et al) so much as a carefully constructed recreation, similar to the homages to low-rent cinema Tarantino and Rodriguez created in Grindhouse.
“With the grainy film-grade, the funky-fresh music, the hair styles, the wide collars and bell-bottoms, the zoom-happy camera work and ultra-cheesy dialogue, Black Dynamite takes you out of 2009 and
drops you into 1974.” –Ammon Gilbert, Film.com
Writer-star Michael Jai White and Director Scott Sanders meticulously touch on every detail about what makes the blaxploitation film enjoyable and charming, including boom mics dipping into the frame, stuntmen being replaced in the middle of a scene, stock footage used for every exploding car or big action sequence, and using the lyrics of the soundtrack to help narrate the action on the screen. It’s in these details where Black Dynamite seems to excel the most, making the film actually look and feel like
a low-budget blaxploitation flick from the ’70s.
See it in S.F. at the Castro on Midnight Friday Nov. 20th; in the East Bay it’ll be at the Grand Lake Theatre, Midnight Friday Nov. 21st.

Tell ’em Dr. Hal sent you…

SOCIAL NOTES

Sucha lotta questions… We answer ’em, but sometimes wish for a chance to elaborate a bit on
’em– kinda like a Side Note going the other way… But ours not to reason why… F’rinstance, alluring
Abigail queried anent the limitations of pity, while jewel-like Jenner Davis appeared and asked a
question Dr. Hal wanted to answer nominatively, but protocol took over… You owe it to yourself,
bye the bye, to checkout her incredibly great blog at
http://lastcallsf.com/ –yes, a blog, we know,
we know, but this one is a tour de force, with superb writing & photos, about this city, this scene,
this moment & the presence of the past… it’s a superior work of journalism in every way, but don’t
let that throw you– you’ll really be entertained… just visit there & browwsse… We hoped to chat
more
with the beguiling blogger & stunning former Odeon bartender, but jocose Jarico Reese didn’t
give us a chance, barreling into our converse with an alcohol-fueled insistence that we attend his
plan to build a bicycle-powered dirigible… Wouldn’t work, joker Jarico– if airship frame big enuff
to generate enuff lift 4 U & your contraptoid, it be big enuff to offer enuff surface area to the wind to
out-power any 1-man set o’ bicycle gears– Like, your puny peddling cain’t overcome Ol’ Man Wind,
dig? We’ll tell you th’ same when (you’re) sober… but jaded Jenner walked off… sigh… Hope she
returns… Demented Don ask’d after another absent siren, vivacious Valerie the Door Girl– Y’know, it’s
hard to keep tracka the traffic around here… Riled-up Reuben wanted to know, if he was already his
own
“know-it-all,”
why Dr. Hal? Well, you didn’t know that, did you, rancorous Reuben? Hope you
gotcher money’s worth… Curvaceous Carolyn needed an oracular response to a perplexing Post-It note…
Stalwart Steve was worried about the oscillating Universe. Can’t sleep for all those oscillations…
Performance Artist
shapely Spy Emerson‘s aboutta leave us for a gig in NYC, where she & madcap
Moses Grubb will be performing to a Tone Poem abt. a decomposing dead kitty kat, composed by
dogged Dr. Hal– a tru-life memoir creatively interpreted, natch, from the Dark Side of a certain recent
Art Boat Trip
to the Old World… We wish we could be there to see it… hope there’s a video… if there
ain’t, it’s a pity-o… Kourageous Kiko Aumond, one-time Brazilian Astronaut, for those who’ve been
paying attention, also is now planning a long sea voyage– of exploration & discovery to little-known
South Sea islands, the haunt of cannibal tribes, which is why he asked how to avoid getting eaten by
them– a question also of concern to jeunesse doree
exemplar Jennalex, also bound for those remote
regions…
Lovely Lynn Rubenzer appeared and hugged yr. Humble Narrator, th’ hi-point of th’ eve; when
she hugs you, you know you’ve been hugged… We were also graced by th’embrace of chic Cheryl, a.k.a.
masseuse Mable Syrup, a damsel whoosa devoted ADH regular from cycles of this show back… Princely
Paul Pot (not one of the ever-pixilated Pot-Smoking Guys, ‘tleast during th’ p’fawmance like them– or is
he? We can’t see) tried t’ deal out a donative, but th’ timing wasn’t rite– then we never got around to
reminding him– hard cheese f’r us… That smokum ain’t hokum… Kaptivating Kate Willett was there & her
feet were bare!she’s really got a glam pair of pins, female foot fanz… Shoes (in her case) are over-rated…
And really, over all, for a show without patient Pete Goldie (outpatient Pete Goldie– get it?), the wholething
wasn’t that moldy… But we’ll see. Yes, we all will. ‘Cause photog Puzzling Evidence was shooting us
more
for You Tube entries on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite, soon to appear beneath this site… More of the… 

AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute?

Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
–on You Tube!
It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs.

Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Our pre-Hallowe’en Show launches with Chicken’s Monologue– and Pete Goldie’s debut of a
Bees-ness Suit October 30th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/1uOzvC3Fb0Q

Then dig the ’80’s KrOB costume! Pre-show Art Farm clean-up of Newsom’s stained no-record on
Chicken John, and we wait…for the Bay Bridge to re-open that October 30th till Dr. Hal arrives
with his timely warning about the Mewlips (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/KY_KIBHwMUU

Little Orphant Annie comes to Our House, to stay a few minutes– see where a sawbuck gets you?
October 30th, (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/lLR36AC4i9w

Curvaceous contortionist Tara Quinn delivers energy liquid to the flaccid, limp Show, and Hal plays
the Munsters theme song on his old organ as the show sells out for a can of glucose-filled sugar-water,
an apparent Fernet chaser of some kind October 30th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/YziKS14n9ic
God loves Slayer, and the (evil) Twelve Galaxies are named in order, while GALAXY 125 remains
unnamed. Love, abortions and Eli Wallach’s Jones for the legendary Orange Box Man October 30th
(Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/0MhngJtABuU

A Bee makes free with Venom, and so endeth our catechism October 30th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/WdVMQ1QPZFY

Pete Goldie makes the SmokePot Guys laugh– and travels into the Abyss on October 23rd to reveal
Galaxy Clusters and other wonders (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/tKw_I5OnpP0

Then Dr. Hal appears to begin the show, not for the proud man, apart, on October 23rd (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/Hlc5K6HHh38

Accidents, doughnuts, cults and religions, Vampiric Diabetes, Other-shoeism, Miniature Zombies,
pens, swords, and Smoke Pot Guy served up hot, all on October 23rd (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/x5QJsymmO2E

Seven inside jokes from inside that SmokePot Guy’s brain– as seen by the Norns, inside a black hole.
Then a One-Minute Dance Party occurs, when the Merry Bells ring round, and the jocund Rebecks
sound– to many a Youth and many a Maid dancing in the Chequered Shade, concluding  this lively
episode of ADH on October 23rd (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/NpKMazKKoR8

Our second show of the latest run– straw telescopes seek Cassini Probe porn, with Phat Mandee
warbling “Over the Rainbow” in the background! It’s our October 16th show, its hour come round at
last (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/TNz1un4qzWA

Saturn-shine on the moons of Saturn up against the Three Body Problem in the new “invisible” ring;
Cosmic Splat on Iapetus. What flavor ice cream is Hal, you ask? Answered October 16th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/rgLjQx0yECc

Light bulb eating by Chicken John and Phat Mandee consumes a priceless antique Edison-Mazda bulb
October 16th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/0/SCP6w2S1zcY

Cougars and their ways then become the topic– this was the ruling October 16th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/WA4-1q9cpdg

Zombies and Poetry– do they… go together? Here’s what we said October 16th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/VigfjfFtotA

Our prevue show features Moon Matters, & Pete Goldie offers a lunar lunchpail on October 9th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/OE2n6ph_aNs

Then after more Selenitic sensationalism Pete gives Chicken a needed lesson in courtesy, aided by
the Politeness Pachyderm, a.k.a. the Polite Elephant. This was on October 9th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/xEKerwUwodA

Dr. Hal enters with an excerpt from Milton’s L’Allegro, somewhat bungled as always– then… From our
October 9th show (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/Nc-GK1Vds8A

Love and other things, Hell, clay, pebbles, meters, Chaco Taco’s Op-ish birth story, carnys, BigTop
peanuts, hay, barkers, cops, burlesque girls, vagina dentata, THC-induced delirium, clicking sounds,
Dawn’s laugh, Don Fisher, Jesus’ middle name, you name it… on October 9th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/7OQ7eO45YJM

Picking up some still life while being “gingered” by a microwaved viking dressed in a paisley fractal
art barge….priceless. At least, we hoped so– on October 9th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/co14OqXtjUs

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

Happening This Friday Night–

Nov. 13th!

ASK DR. HAL’s November Neo-narrative!

November 2nd, 2009

Chicken John presents:
THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW    

NOW PLAYING AT THE
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret       
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)
San Francisco, California

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

FRIDAY, November 6th!    

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!        
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we won’t hold the
curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

Admission —       $10.00

(TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)

PROGRAMMING NOTE:

TOWNE DANDIES OPENER IS NEXT WEEK, NOT NOV. 6TH

A scheduling problem has compelled us to book Geoff Ellsworth for next week, not this week. Next week’s admission price will be $15.00, but this week it’s still ten!  

==The Dr. Hal Report==
Vol. XII                     No. 4

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

KARTOON : SEX & INNOCENCE DISPLAYED
IN STILL AVANT ANIMATION + KrOB MONSTER MASTERPIECE
SHOWCASES HELLISH DEMONIC FIEND IN BLASPHEMOUS,
PULSATING PERFORMANCE TO BE DAMNED FOR + PETE
GOLDIE
AWAY ON DEEP SPACE MISSION,  ASTRO 7 CAPSULE
WILL RETURN TO EARTH IN TIME FOR NEXT SHOW + NEWS:
DR. HAL ART OPENING NOW UP & RUNNING @ MERCURY
CAFE + TOM KENNEDY TRIPARTITE SILENT ART AUCTION TO
CLOSE THURSDAY NOVEMBER 12TH, WITH HAL, CHICKEN

PRESIDING + SOCIAL NOTES + VERY LATEST PUZ-EV YOU
TUBE KLIPS +

UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
ALL THE CATS JOIN IN (1946)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
Lovingly selected–by KrOB…
A “cool jazz” cartoon from the world’s greatest animation studio, this is (almost) five
minutes of irresistible movement and music. In the catchy Technicolor short, master
animator  Fred Moore, one of the Disney Studio’s famed “nine old men,” presides as an
insistent Benny Goodman tune accompanies a vital vignette where post-WW II youths
go out, driving and dancing (teenagers are a rare subject in cartoons). With lightning-
fast timing, and great jokes around a scribbling, scooting pencil drawing the people and
backgrounds as fast as it can (sometimes just not fast enough to keep up with the
hyperkinetic teens), the picture contains, very unusually, a surprising sequence of a
naked girl jumping out of a shower into her clothes. Wow! You have to look fast to see it–
but we know some of you are lusting after cute lil’ cartoon characters– don’t deny it!
The cartoon is both dated and, strangely, absolutely timely, though it depicts youthful
rituals of more than fifty years gone by. Ultimately thought-provoking (as well as toe-
tapping) like all good cartoons. And a KrOB Personal Favorite.

The characters are all so cool and smooth. Just watching the dancin’
made me wanna get up and dance!

–Chrissy Atkinson

WITH…  SPINE-SNAPPING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:


NIGHT OF THE DAEMON!


A snarling, slobbering, hairy fiend emerges though a hole in the sky, at the inexorable
summoning of forgotten, ancient sorceries, to blast, burn and rend limb from limb a
number of unfortunates in this far from kuddly KrOB klip. Yes, Hallowe’en may be
technically over, but it never really goes away at Castle KrOB. The British author
Montague Rhodes James wrote “Casting the Runes,” a wonderfully gruesome and
suggestive horror story
about a demonic curse. It was filmed by Jacques Tourneur,
an inspired director of the Val Lewton school who surpasses his mentor in this film.
Existing in a mutilated and truncated form only for many years, so that even its director
died believing no unedited print, or “director’s cut,” as we say today, existed, the true
complete version
was discovered personally by Dr. Hal and associate Merl Reagle in
San Francisco in 1977 when Columbia Pictures unknowingly struck a new print from what
was archived in their vaults. So this footage and Dr. Hal go back a long way.
Now it passes through KrOB’s lens for another incarnation, seen here at the Ask Dr. Hal!
Show.
Entire books have been written about this film, its authenticity and history. The latest
of these, called Beating the Devil: The Making of Night of the Demon, by Tony Earnshaw,
(Tomahawk Press, 2005) is pretty good, and we at Ask Dr. Hal! recommend it highly, with
the caveat that even this thorough treatment does not go quite as far as it might in getting to
its deepest possible understanding. Lights out!

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BARBUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable
Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky…


PETE GOLDIE TO BE ABSENT ON DEEP SPACE MISSION,
FOR NOV. 6th ADH
Beloved astro-explicateur Pete “Boffo Boffin” Goldie has jettisoned his commitment to the Ask Dr. Hal! Show
for the duration of the week-long Astro-7 Deep Space Mission. Via his ground control link-up, Dr. Goldie has
proclaimed “All Systems Go and A-OK” from his Terribly High Earth Orbit Repair and Exploration Module
(THEOREM) after launch this Sunday from Cape Canavergravel in Florida. NASA officials have emphasized their
specific need for Pete Goldie’s “Magic Hands.” The mission objective: to repair the wobbling and severely ailing
orbiting Chandra Levy, Eliot Spitzer and Web Hubbell Very Large and Complicated Telescope Array. We wish
daring Dr. Goldie every measure of success on his historic flight, and confidently expect to welcome him, perhaps
somewhat singed from his descent through Earth’s Troposphere behind the DALKON 6 Heat Shield, to re-take his
rightful place once again at Ask Dr. Hal!

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S NEW ART SHOW!
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the
demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The
Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks
(which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last, best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees and locally produced foods, can be reached at

(415) 252-7855.

CHICKEN JOHN, DR. HAL TO PRESIDE OVER LAST NIGHT OF BENEFIT AUCTION
In April our friend the amazing artist Tom Kennedy died in a tragic drowning accident at Ocean Beach in
San Francisco. The Ripper Journey Foundation has been established in his memory, and the final episode
of a three-part art auction fundraiser will take place November 12th at the Jellyfish Gallery, 1286 Folsom
Street in San Francisco. The public is invited to participate and attend free of charge. Among other events
of that evening, Chicken John and Dr. Hal will co-execute the Silent Auction.
Tom Kennedy passed away April 12, 2009 while body-surfing. He left behind a legacy as a pioneering
sculptural artist, social agitator and builder of more than twenty Art Cars. As a founding member of the
Art Car Movement, his works evolved into symbols of political protest and peacekeeping.

Tom envisioned his
beloved and most recognized art car, Ripper the Friendly Shark, traveling around the world with a crew called
the Friend Patrol. Together they would inspire and support friendship and peace in conflict zones where
people perceived as enemies live and work together.
The art auction will raise money to send Ripper the Friendly Shark on this mission at least once a year. The
three-part fundraiser wraps up on November 12th with a silent auction and live performances. To date, an
ever-growing list of artists has donated artwork to be auctioned with all proceeds to benefit the Ripper
Journey Foundation. Featured artists include, among others, Haideen Anderson, Margot Duane, Karen
Cusolito, Michael Christian, Brian Goggin, Dan Das Mann, Justin Credible (insert wolf-whistle here) Jon Alloway and Kal Spelletich. The event
will also showcase photos, art and videos about Tom Kennedy and the Ripper Journey Foundation created
in his
memory. All pieces in the silent auction will also be online at
tomkennedyart.com.

EVENT DETAILS
Venue: Jellyfish Gallery at 1286 Folsom Street, San Francisco
November 12th ~ Closing Night
6:00 PM until Midnight
This announcement adapted from Scott Beale’s write-up on Laughing Squid. For complete information, go to:

http://laughingsquid.com/tom-kennedy-art-auction-to-benefit-the-ripper-journey-foundation-in-memory-of-tom-kennedy/

NEXT WEEK’S SPECIAL GUEST STAR–

APPEARING NOVEMBER 13th–

GEOFF ELLSWORTH…
of the TOWNE DANDIES!

“The Towne Dandies are music as art project,” says Ellsworth, who is in fact an artist,
a professional painter of portraits and landscapes. And while he is also an accomplished
musician and songwriter, he tends to think of himself primarily as an artist and to regard
his eclectic exertions with the Towne Dandies as performance art. “And with all art projects,”
he says, “they always take a turn on you. You start out thinking you’re making one thing, but
circumstances take you into different directions. So with every one of our Towne Dandies
shows, I always just stay open to the possibilities.” For Ask Dr. Hal! Ellsworth promises to do
a half-hour, one-act play. Some of our audience may remember him from the Odeon days.

ADMISSION PRICE NOTE:
To pay this guest artist appropriately, Chicken has increased the admission price of the show on Friday, November 13th,
for this one time to $15.00.

SOCIAL NOTES
‘Twas the night before Hallowe’en & not very much seemed to be stirring at Ask Dr. Hal! –but, y’know,
it turned out t’be just another one o’ those nites when we get most of the audience as they come in after
we get started. Yes, the krowds are coming to the old Chez Poulet-they’re just coming late… Early arrivals
were rewarded with our Frank Tashlin cartoon, Porky Pig’s Feat, a last-minute substitution for our
announced cartoon
featurette, the Tex Avery-directed Porky’s Duck Hunt. Ackshully, PPF is a far better
cartoon anyway
than the historically significant PDH– KrOB just wanted to show the latter short’s Drunken
Singing Fish
scene… But back at the show, we’re still making interesting discoveries… Like, f’rexample, how
cranky Chicken’s discovered that he doesn’t haveta work too hard to make the potted Pot-Smoking Guys laff–
in fact, those guys– jocose Juhani Smith & knocked-dead Ken Kneisel
ll laff at anything chatty Chicken sez!
We’re repeating ourselves… short-term memory‘s shot… But we seem to remember delectable Diane took a flyer
on the show, & might be back for mo’; & we glimmed sultry Sarah Szczechowicz, pedantic Pete Goldie’s better
half, released from childcare of determined daughter Daria by the timely intercession & sympatico self-sacrifice of
devoted Dawn Stott back at the Goldie manse… Then there was generalissimo Geoffrey Smart, a one-time host
of ADH back in the (recent) day, who even so hasn’t burned out on th’concept… We ogled voluptuous Val Stanfield,
visiting from Long Beach, CAwe saw her on the Playa a month or two ago wearing a smile & a hair ribbon… just
those… Lovely jasper-eyed Janay Growden was also very noticeable… We had more than the usual no. of surprises,
& surely th’ biggest surprise hit of the show was the unannounced incursion of comely contortionist torrid Tara
Quinn…
She did indeed undulate into a few impromptu poses for the appreciative krowd, but she was mainly
there
to drop off a few hundred cases of hi-fructose mango energy drink… Photo’d everybody drinking it, too…
not to Dr. Hal’s (diabetical) taste, tho’ –but there’s no mistaking that the show Sold Out that nite… Jaunty John
Law
sported a truly impressive set of chin-whiskers… we saw him the nextnite at the big fun(d)raiser co-ordinated
by jocund John & kurvaceous Katy Bell for beleaguered Bill the Junkman of Ace Auto fame, and the utility of th’
facial foliage became evident as laughmeister Law “went” for Hallowe’en as kra-azy Kommunism-founder Karl
Marx…
Back at the show, kaptivating Kate Willett & masterful Marc Roper 1nce again adorn’d the whip-it-heavy
after-party, lingering after Andy Antrobus & mellow Molly Mulier, a gen-u-inely generic couple… Cast-member
Cappy was finally back in th’ saddle… ‘midst swirling clouds of incense— sorry, asthmatics… Photog Puzzling
Evidence
was shooting us more for You Tube entries on his PuzEv TV site thru th’nite, & was that particular Paul
Pot,
penning a pasquinade, or not? 

And don’t forget:

AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute?
Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence,
you
can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these
handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pete Goldie makes the SmokePot Guys laughand travels into the Abyss on October 23rd to reveal
Galaxy Clusters and other wonders (
Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/tKw_I5OnpP0

Then Dr. Hal appears to begin the show, not for the proud man, apart, on October 23rd (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/Hlc5K6HHh38

Accidents, doughnuts, cults and religions, Vampiric Diabetes, Other-shoeism, Miniature Zombies,
pens, swords, and Smoke Pot Guy served up hot, all on
October 23rd (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/x5QJsymmO2E

Seven inside jokes from inside that SmokePot Guy’s brain– as seen by the Norns, inside a black hole.
Then a One-Minute Dance Party occurs, when the Merry Bells ring round, and the jocund Rebecs
sound to many a Youth and many a Maid dancing in the Chequered Shade, concluding  this lively
episode of ADH on
October 23rd (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/NpKMazKKoR8

Our second show of the latest run— straw telescopes seek Cassini Probe porn, with Phat Mandee
warbling “Over the Rainbow” in the background! It’s our
October 16th show, its hour come round at
last (
Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/TNz1un4qzWA

Saturn-shine on the moons of Saturn up against the Three Body Problem in the new “invisible” ring;
Cosmic Splat on Iapetus. What flavor ice cream is
Hal, you ask? Answered October 16th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/rgLjQx0yECc

Light bulb eating by Chicken John and Phat Mandee consumes a priceless antique Edison-Mazda bulb
October 16th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/0/SCP6w2S1zcY

Cougars and their ways then become the topic– this was the ruling October 16th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/WA4-1q9cpdg

Zombies and Poetry— do they… go together? Here’s what we said October 16th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/VigfjfFtotA

Our prevue show features Moon Matters, & Pete Goldie offers a lunar lunchpail on October 9th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/OE2n6ph_aNs

Then after more Selenitic sensationalism Pete gives Chicken a needed lesson in courtesy, aided by
the
Politeness Pachyderm, a.k.a. the Polite Elephant. This was on October 9th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/xEKerwUwodA

Dr. Hal enters with an excerpt from Milton‘s L’Allegro, somewhat bungled as always– then… From our
October 9th show (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/Nc-GK1Vds8A

Love and other things, Hell, clay, pebbles, meters, Chaco Taco’s Op-ish birth story, carnys, BigTop
peanuts, hay, barkers, cops, burlesque girls, vagina dentata, THC-induced delirium, clicking sounds,
Dawn‘s laugh, Don Fisher, Jesus‘ middle name, you name it… on October 9th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/7OQ7eO45YJM

Picking up some still life while being “gingered” by a microwaved viking dressed in a paisley fractal
art barge….priceless.
At least, we hoped so– on October 9th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/co14OqXtjUs  

Watch Plenty More ADH at Puzzling Evidence TV!

See you at the exclusive


CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET


3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)

San Francisco, California 


[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

ASK DR. HAL!’s HOWLL-in’ HAL-lowe’en Eve!

October 26th, 2009

“And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing.”               

–Shakespeare, As You Like It. Act ii. Sc. 1.

Chicken John
presents
== THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL ==
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW
NOW PLAYING AT THE
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)

San Francisco, California           

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:

WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
FRIDAY, October 30th!                                 

THE DAY BEFORE HALLOWE’EN

THE FINAL FRIDAY IN OCTOBER…
THE EVE OF ALL HALLOWS EVE!

NINE P.M. SHARP!      
===DOORS OPEN AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty.

We will be starting as close to Nine PM as we can.

Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we won’t

hold the curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

OUR HORRENDOUS
HALLOWE’EN SPOOK-TACULAR!
(heh, heh, heh…)
Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic

Ask Dr.Hal! Show

(beware of derivative question-and-answer shows)

now bursts again onto the scene–

with Chicken John & all your favorite

crew!  With Robert Levy at the door!

KrOB at the controls!

Pete Goldie’s Science Scoops!

David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet!

Dr. Hal answers your queries!

They’re all back– doing
the show once more! Everybody–even– Woo-hoo!

–Frank Chu!
It’s just as if we never left!
Admission $10.00

The Dr. Hal Report
Vol. XII                               No. 3

——————————-

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :
+ KARTOON : A STAR IS BORN —

PORKY’S DUCK HUNT DEBUTS
DAFFY DUCK IN EARLY TEX AVERY

WARNER BROS. WONDER

+KrOB MONSTER MASTERPIECE

SHOWCASES SATAN, IMPS IN
PERFORMANCE TO BE DAMNED FOR

+ NEWS: DR. HAL ART
OPENING
NOW UP & RUNNING

@ MERCURY CAFE

+TOM KENNEDY TRIPARTITE SILENT ART AUCTION

IS WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 28TH

+ LAST BENEFIT FOR ACE AUTO THIS
HALLOWE’EN NIGHT AT CELLSPACE

+ SOCIAL NOTES

+ VERY LATEST PUZ-EV YOU TUBE KLIPS

————————————————

ASK DR. HAL!’s HOWLLin’ HALlowe’en Eve!

=== HILARIOUS TERROR– SERVED UP WITH TERRIFYING HILARITY! ===

With… UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION–
Porky’s Duck Hunt (1937)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
Lovingly selected–by KrOB…

Porky’s Duck Hunt is actually  a cartoon KrOB’s wanted to show for a while. Though without the rat-a-tat-tat
pace of later cartoons– this short subject precedes the frame-by-frame study of speed and timing developed
later at the “Termite Terrace” cartoon studio on the Warners’ lot by Clampett, Avery and especially Jones–
it seems a good choice for Fall, and it does contain a couple of stand-out sequences. And, it’s mainly notable
for being the first appearance of the character Daffy Duck. This would seem arguable, as in the endless
contention about who invented Bugs Bunny (we at Ask Dr. Hal! vote for Clampett, though Avery usually gets
the credit in the cinema articles and Jones partisans would characteristically disagree).

In our view, although
the duck, despite his familiar sable livery and neck ring, seems fairly generic, when he talks, something clicks–
it’s Daffy, all right. And we owe it all to the immortal Mel Blanc, whose voice animated the Warners cartoon
stable as much as did the animators. Indeed, this is also the first cartoon in which Blanc voiced both Porky
and Daffy. Originally scheduled only to provide the speaking voice of the duck, Blanc had won the part of Porky
earlier that year.

Bob Clampett once told this author that the pig stuttered because so did his original voice
provider (Joe Dougherty).

But after the cartoon Porky’s Romance, Dougherty was fired by the studio for not
being able to control his stutter!

Anyway, Porky’s Duck Hunt turned out to be a very popular cartoon, known
in movie houses for its crowd-pleasing gags and the debut of Daffy Duck, and it met with very positive reviews.
Only a year later, this cartoon was reworked by Avery as Daffy Duck and Egghead, which was in color. In that
cartoon, Daffy is officially given his name, and Porky’s role was filled by Egghead, another Avery-created
character who was ultimately to evolve into Elmer Fudd

(in Elmer’s Candid Camera (1940). We at Ask Dr. Hal!
are not enthralled with what Jones made of Daffy in the 50’s, although this represents many people’s
only view of the character from TV exposure during the 70s, before they stopped showing these cartoons at all–
a spluttering, neurotic and greed-obsessed foil for an ultra-laid-back, gay-seeming Bugs Bunny. But the
unadulterated Daffy had a good run up to then. WATCH for the cameo appearance of odious, now-forgotten
comedian Joe Penner, whose signature line, as heard here, was, “Wanna buy a duck?” Caution: BEWARE
of the colorized, truncated versions of this cartoon, particularly the atrocity (badly) re-drawn in the Orient
during the 70s, some lame-brain executive’s decision– the sad fate of all the black and white Porkys. The true
version,
with which KrOB will begin our show, is in black and white and has a very special end title (with Daffy
goofing all over the lettering), an Avery trade mark.

Don’t come too late, or you will miss this…

Also with…
HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:

REVELS OF CHERN-O-BOG (Night on Bare Mountain)
This is our idea of Hallowe’en programming. And– it’s one of those things– we and KrOB are quite familiar
with it. Both of us used to wonder if selections like these were too familiar to show our audience. But now we
know– all this stuff has simply dropped from general view. Last week to our amazement even the learned Pete
Goldie
couldn’t identify the classic animation KrOB had up as part of the pre-show. That’s why we bring it back–
the products of genius should be seen.
But… what is it? Aha! Our more informed readers have already guessed. As for the rest of you, involved copyright
issues prohibit us from going into more detail. It’s one of the all-time masterpieces of the pre-digital cinema, is
what it is. Hand-drawn, with supreme artistry. But why is it good for Hallowe’en?
That will become evident at the proper time and place. You know, we were talking to attendee distractingly
beautiful Kate Willett at our last show. When we idly asked what she thought of the cartoons we screen, her dark
eyes grew wider as she told us that she deliberately avoided them, for a curious reason– she finds them…
frightening. That’s right, cartoons. Porky Pig– frightening. Well, folks, that may be an atypical reaction– to fear
drawings that move. But be that as it may, here’s the thing– to any imaginative person, this upcoming animated
segment is frightening! Really– coy Kate should stay well away from this one. It’s a supreme scene of supernatural
dread and religious terror, informed by centuries of belief and occult tradition.
Y’know, if that’s not an all-time
bargain, Pilgrim, we’ll eat our Fez. Remarkable! Educational! View it all on our Giant Screen. It’s just one small
fractal fragment of the totality to be experienced at our unique and well-travelled night club show; once more we
bring it to our outré but receptive audience. But not for the easily frightened. Fully narrated, of course, by Dr. Hal.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview

with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:
http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

CHICKEN JOHN! KrOB ON THE JOB! FRANK CHU JOINS THE KREWE!
VISIT PETE GOLDIE’S PLACE — IN SPACE! CAPPY TROLLS ONLINE
FOR SIGHT-GAG 7th HEAVEN! NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!
(JUST BRING YOUR OWN)

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S NEW ART SHOW!
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the
demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The
Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees and locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

ONE NIGHT ONLY
FREE 3-PART AUCTION TO BENEFIT THE ESTATE OF TOM KENNEDY
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28th
In April our friend the amazing artist Tom Kennedy died in a tragic drowning accident at Ocean Beach in
San Francisco. The Ripper Journey Foundation has been established in his memory, and a three-part art
auction fundraiser will take place from October 28th through November 12th at the Jellyfish Gallery, 1286
Folsom Street in San Francisco. The public is invited to participate and attend free of charge.
Tom Kennedy passed away April 12, 2009 while body-surfing. He left behind a legacy as a pioneering
sculptural artist, social agitator and builder of more than twenty Art Cars. As a founding member of the
Art Car Movement, his works evolved into symbols of political protest and peacekeeping. Tom envisioned his
beloved and most recognized art car, Ripper the Friendly Shark, traveling around the world with a crew called
the Friend Patrol. Together they would inspire and support friendship and peace in conflict zones where
people perceived as enemies live and work together. The art auction will raise money to send Ripper the
Friendly Shark on this mission at least once a year. The three-part fundraiser will kick off on October 28th
with a silent auction and live performances and wrap up on November 12th with another live auction. An
ever-growing list of artists has donated artwork to be auctioned with all proceeds to benefit the Ripper
Journey Foundation. Featured artists include, among others, Haideen Anderson, Margot Duane, Karen
Cusolito, Michael Christian, Brian Goggin, Dan Das Mann, Jon Alloway and Kal Spelletich. The event,
featuring Dr. Howland Owll and a special performance by Mark Growden and Phat Mandee, will also
showcase photos, art and videos about Tom Kennedy and the Ripper Journey Foundation created in his
memory. All pieces in the silent auction will also be online at
tomkennedyart.com.
EVENT DETAILS
Venue: Jellyfish Gallery at 1286 Folsom Street, San Francisco
October 28th ~ Opening Night
6:00 PM until Midnight
This announcement adapted from Scott Beale’s write-up on Laughing Squid. For complete information, go to:

http://laughingsquid.com/tom-kennedy-art-auction-to-benefit-the-ripper-journey-foundation-in-memory-of-tom-kennedy/

HALLOWE’EN NIGHT SHOW & BENEFIT FOR ACE AUTO’S BILL THE JUNKMAN
AT CELLSPACE
Saturday, October 31st, more than a dozen bands, performers and DJs will sing swan songs to everybody’s
favorite junkyard in San Francisco to raise funds for the Junk Man who has run it for a quarter century as a
selfless patron of all those who turn mere ‘dumpster diving’ into the art of divining precious obtainium. The sad,
inescapable fact is that the legendary Ace Auto Dismantlers will itself be dismantled by the last day of the year.
Meanwhile there’s a Hallowe’en night ruckus planned at CELLspace to raise spirits and funds for the man
behind the yard. Artists, musicians and metal-reanimators will return 2.5 decades of favors, and throw a
party to scare away the bill collectors scratching at Bill the Junkman’s chamber door. YOU can come and put
some much needed cash in the till, and get rocked, amused, bemused, and dance your junk off. Featured artists
include:
XTRA ACTION MARCHING BAND
MARK GROWDEN
ATTABOY & BURKE
LOS BANOS
SEEMEN
…and many more. With your horrifying hosts, John Hell & Dr. Hal. If you’re wondering “where to go” on this year’s
Hallowe’en Night (kind of like New Year’s) and want to try something novel, this is for you. Doors are 8PM, show
starts at 9. Ticket price is $10 sliding all the way up to how much art and culture mean to you. Please be generous–
Bill has tens of thousands in legal fees from trying to fight eviction and related costs. Dress like a junkyard zombie,
a piece of haunted junk, the ghost of Power Tool Drag Races past– remember that? –a homeless trash pile, or a
nuclear-irradiated pirate on a garbage skiff. The Bill the Junkman Look-alike contest is sure to be a hoot (girls
and guys both encouraged to enter!). This notice adapted from Mikl-em’s Guest Post on Laughing Squid– read the
whole thing here:
http://laughingsquid.com/halloween-night-show-benefit-for-ace-autos-bill-the-junkman-cellspace/

A Central Services production.

SOCIAL NOTES
This Ask Dr. Hal! thing really seems to have momentum! The crowds are coming to the old Chez Poulet
Gallery-Cabaret…
This week, though, we’ll really be putting that to the test on the day before Hallowe’en.
Sure, we’ll be up against a million parties– but some folks apparently would rather take in ADH than bob
for apples,
or the contempo equivalent… We won’t have apples, as far as we know, but we’re determined
to do a show that respects the values of the season, despite how it gets more commercial every year &
all that– kackling KrOB’s got some tasty selections he’s itchin’ to screen, & he and diligent Dr. Hal‘ll be seen
here & there at various venues (see NEWS, above) before they toss the old punkins out… But back at the
show, we’re still making interesting discoveries… Like, f’rexample, how creative Chicken’s discovered that he
doesn’t haveta work too hard to make the potted Pot-Smoking Guys laff– in fact, those guys– jocose Juhani
Smith
& knocked-dead Ken Kneisel
ll laff at anything chatty Chicken sez! Sure makes our jolly job
(Entertainment with a capital E) eeasier…  Was that muckity-mucks Mr. & Mrs. Brody Culpepper in the
house, something that happens once a Coon’s age? (If you wanna know what that figger is, brainy Brody could
tell ya… Jolly Jascha Ephraim (pronounced A-Frame) & posse were there… we saw ’em… Magnificent Max
found his way thru our doors… ditto anxious Andy Antrobus & mellow Molly Mulier, a gen-u-inely generic
couple… ‘N howabout that kute Kate Willett… Is she there for us or for the after-party? 1nce th’ whip-its give
out, we’ll know… Her man, manly Marc Roper, already knows the answer… Photog Puzzling Evidence was
shooting us more for You Tube entries on his PuzEv TV site, right? Several times at recent venues, the perplext
Puzzler‘s found himself mistaken by various individdles for none other than judicious John Law… Then it
happened again
at our show… ‘S odd as that is, what was odder was that the real, jenuine J.L. was standing
right there!
Wotta hash; maybe ’twas th’ tash… But tho proud Puzzo does indeed sport one of the most
magnificent mustachios ever to compete in the Arena of Facial Foliage, a mustache does not a judicious John
Law
make
Th’ reason being, jaunty John these daze  displaze a bristly beard, not weird, but also clearly no
soup-strainer, & that’s a no-brainer… rebarbative of him, eh? Always re-stylin’ the shrubbery… Some of our
“regulars” didn’t make it, tho– where were damozel Dawn Stott, princely Paul Pot, or luscious Lynn
Rubenzer?
What’s the answer? We also missed radiant Robin Coomer– thought she might be there– there
was
a rumor– all were absent from the krewe… And friendly Frank Chu– where were you?

AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute?
Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence,
you
can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these
handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Our second show of the latest run— straw telescopes seek Cassini Probe porn, with Phat Mandee
warbling “Over the Rainbow” in the background! It’s our
October 16th show, its hour come round at
last (
Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/TNz1un4qzWA

Saturn-shine on the moons of Saturn up against the Three Body Problem in the new “invisible” ring;
Cosmic Splat on Iapetus. What flavor ice cream is
Hal, you ask? Answered October 16th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/rgLjQx0yECc

Light bulb eating by Chicken John and Phat Mandee consumes a priceless antique Edison-Mazda bulb
October 16th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/0/SCP6w2S1zcY

Cougars and their ways then become the topic– this was the ruling October 16th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/WA4-1q9cpdg

Zombies and Poetry— do they… go together? Here’s what we said October 16th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/VigfjfFtotA

Our prevue show features Moon Matters, & Pete Goldie offers a lunar lunchpail on October 9th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/OE2n6ph_aNs

Then after more Selenitic sensationalism Pete gives Chicken a needed lesson in courtesy, aided by
the
Politeness Pachyderm, a.k.a. the Polite Elephant. This was on October 9th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/xEKerwUwodA

Dr. Hal enters with an excerpt from Milton‘s L’Allegro, somewhat bungled as always– then… From our
October 9th show (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/Nc-GK1Vds8A

Love and other things, Hell, clay, pebbles, meters, Chaco Taco’s Op-ish birth story, carnys, BigTop
peanuts, hay, barkers, cops, burlesque girls, vagina dentata, THC-induced delirium, clicking sounds,
Dawn‘s laugh, Don Fisher, Jesus‘ middle name, you name it… on October 9th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/7OQ7eO45YJM

Picking up some still life while being “gingered” by a microwaved viking dressed in a paisley fractal
art barge….priceless.
At least, we hoped so– on October 9th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/co14OqXtjUs

As advertised, so-called Siamese TwinsDannygirl Waters & Katy Bell essay absent Chicken‘s role,
first bringing on
Attaboy— this is all on August 19th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/31/jTG6UKqk4PY

Then Pete Goldie struts his stuff in Space, thanx to the Distaff Duo August 19th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/30/-nxzwUDbbho

The Siamese Twinlets bring out Dr. Hal, and it all gets metaphysical August 19th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/29/9pAeEgc8K0I

Dr. Hal‘s personal sexual preferences & Default Mode are then revealed August 19th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/28/EY8v_RcBcPY

A Shropshire Lad is folded in as a mandatory recitation, still August 19th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/27/ko3vntTe5gM

It all concludes with a query on ectoplasm– but why not? A $20 Buck Question! –and
Puzzling Evidence huffs a record amount of Church Air, all on August 19th (Pt. 666):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/26/-ZWceYQdTcI

ASK DR. HAL Continues at Chez Poulet!

October 20th, 2009

CHICKEN JOHN PRESENTS

THE ALL-NEW SAME-OLD ASK DR. HAL! SHOW!

NOW PLAYING AT THE

CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

3359 ARMY (CESAR CHAVEZ) ST.

 [Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23RD

ADMISSION $10 (Sliding Scale– no one turned away)

NINE P.M. SHARP!

===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as
we can.
Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we won’t hold the
curtain
as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the
last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ
POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about
12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

        The Dr. Hal Report        
Vol. XII                                                                                                                         
No. 2

UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
EDITOR‘S NOTE: DUE TO UNFORESEEN TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES LAST
WEEK,
WE DID NOT SHOW THIS CARTOON. THEREFORE, WE INTEND
TO RUN IT THIS WEEK. IF IT STILL DOESN’T HAPPEN,
WE WILL CONTINUE
TO ATTEMPT TO PRESENT THIS SAME
CARTOON EVERY WEEK UNTIL WE
FINALLY SUCCEED.

Popeye THE SAILOR  Meets Sindbad THE SAILOR (1936)
Another in our
series of
the
best American cartoons!
Lovingly selected
by KrOB
Third Time’s the Charm!
At least, we hope so! This time we‘re really going to bring you
Popeye
Meets Sindbad. Everybody
who’s a fan of this great cartoon calls it that, but the real
title, for the record, is Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor.
We‘ve
shown a bunch of cartoons at ADH by now, including a few by the legendary Max Fleischer
Studio, but until now, no Popeye. We‘d like to make up for that by exhibiting one of the very best,
if not the best, of this fabulous series. This “short” is quite a picture– it’s actually 16 minutes long
(most cartoons run about seven), a “two-reeler.” It was produced in Technicolor (so the color
still looks good) and was released on November 27th (which is the day before Dr. Hal’s birthday) by
Paramount, the Fleischers’ parent studio. It’s full of incredible invention– monsters, landscapes
(using the Fleischers’ patented Stereoptical 3-D process) and fast-paced gags.
Popeye‘s
vocals are done by Jack Mercer, the familiar “Popeye voice” that all other interpreters of
the rôle have perforce only imitated. Mercer‘s Popeye was often characterized by subvocalizing, a
continuous stream of muttered “asides” (you don’t see his lips moving during these) which frequently
include the funniest lines (extemporized by Mercer) in the picture. Olive Oyl is of course voiced by
Mae Questel, who also did Betty Boop. Bluto (Sindbad) is done by Gus Wickie. The difficult-to-
understand songs, and the musical supervision generally of the Studio’s musicians are by Sammy
Timberg,
the Fleischers’ go-to music guy.
This was the first of the three Popeye Color Specials, each three times as long as a regular Popeye
cartoon, of those days, and were often billed in theaters alongside or above the main feature.
Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor
was nominated for an Academy Award (though sadly
it lost to a Disney cartoon that year, the Silly Symphony The Country Cousin. But this cartoon has
been enormously influential and is considered the best of the three supercartoons the Studio made
at the height of its power (before World War II, when the brothers lost control and Fleischer then
became Famous Studios).
One influence it had was on special effects artist and auteur Raymond F. Harryhausen, partially
inspiring him, 22 years later, to  make The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.
Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor has been deemed “culturally significant” by the United
States Library of Congress,
and selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry. In 1994,
the film was voted #17 of the 50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time by members of the animation field. We
know that as it begins our show you’ll like it, too.
“Who’s that most remarkable, extra-special kind of fel-low?”
“Youse– Sin-lous-y Sail-orrr!”

AND WITH:

HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:


THE SAVAGE STYRACOSAURUS!


TERRIFYING, BONE-CHILLING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT! An unforgettable encounter
with one of Skull Island’s pugnacious prehistoric denizens. The artistry of Marcel Delgado, Willis O’Brien
and other god-like luminaries. A raging dinosaur, Styracosaurus, shows what it’s made of. Named by the great
Lawrence Lambe in 1913, it’s a member of the Centrosaurinae. At least two species, S. albertensis and S.
ovatus
are currently assigned to Styracosaurus. Other species assigned to the genus have since been
reassigned elsewhere. And if that’s not an all-time bargain, Pilgrim, we’ll eat our Fez. Scientific!
Educational!
View it all
on our Giant Screen. It’s just one small fractal fragment of the totality to be
experienced at our unique and well-travelled night club show; once more we bring it to an outré but
receptive audience. Not for the closed-minded. Fully narrated by Dr. Hal.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr.. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

SOCIAL NOTES
During our long recent period of doing shows with substitute “Chickens” (while the open-to-distraction original
experimented with boat-building and dubious international relations studies), our usual go-to computer guy,
dynamic David Capurro took a lengthy sabbatical. Now that we’re up and running at Chez Poulet once again,
some, we hear, are puzzled & perplexed by the fact that dapper Dave is actually back– but seated in our ADH
audience–
while recently married former eligible bachelor shrewd Sean Kelly serves up associated stream-of-
consciousness pix
on the big screen from his perch on stage as our Imagemeister… Fear not, frantic fans of
cunning Cappy– you’ll see him back in the saddle soon– after he untwists a (work-related) entanglement… But
we’ve gotta say that sensational Sean’s pretty good at what he does, & for the past two iterations has been slickly
showing everyone how it’s done… We’re in good hands either way, eh? Natch, with durable David C. on hand, the
once & future Yo-Yo-Pro tends to bring along his posse– jolly Juhari, kohort Ken Garr, & last wk. two cousins,
mysterious Michael and judicious Julia– what did they make of it all, one wonders? And many welcome friends
were along to cheer us on– notably kurvaceous Kate Willett (insert wolf-whistle here) and devoted consort mordant
Marc Roper– too bad, slavering staghounds– delectable Dawn Stott, luscious Lynn Rubenzer, kute Kelleigh
Trowbridge
(who gamely endured a protracted koo-koo KrOB Moment) & ultra-appealing Ulrike… Easy-on-the-eyes
Eileen Hassi also provided magnum moral support… Of cuss, we wouldn’t neglect peripatetic Paul Pot, who finally
brought (back) Prof. Pete Goldie’s beloved Cassini-Huygens Probe Model.. yeah, it’s true– we’re all getting back
together under th’same roof… Power couple devilish Don Bruce & tempestuous Tracy Feldstein were in the house, &
surprise visitors, Pittsburgh, PA’s own talented Tommy Amoeba, squeeze to irrepressible, phabulous Phat Mandee,
scintillant star of the still-slayin’ ’em Burning Opera @ Teatro Zinzanni –see it while you can, man… When the all-
too-usual
tech tergiversations derailed our kartune (see above), trouper mellifluous Mandee stepped in to substitute
with a lively tune, accompanied by cheerful Chicken on uke, saving our bacon yet again… But, honestly, folks, kontrite
KrOB assures us that these flubs are history– next wk. you’ll see that cartoon with no glitches, goofs or gratuitous
graveolence… really… Moving on, Persistent Puzzling Evidence, who hears all & sees all, was tracking th’ whole
megilla via magick mini-cam, for future You Tube placement… We keep telling yez– get thee to Puzzling Evidence
TV
on the ever-lovin’ Interweb, seekers, & check out his latest vids. After so many long years of recording at so
many events, we suspect it’s all going up on You Tube these daze… We hope y’all’re finally glimming that fabled
footage... We are… Drop your eyes down to some of the coverage of our latest shows, right below… Just click on
any
of those URLs directly under this feature, fella-creature. And don’t miss our sizzlin’ show next week. That’s the
one to catch, natch. Not to mention demented Dr. Hal’s Art Show, “The Productions of Time,” bursting on th’scene
Thursday-– the day before Ask Dr. Hal! — at the Mercury Café over on Page & Octavia in S.F.  If you’ve ever wanted
to get (signed) copies of deviser Dr. Hal’s books, he’s finally got a few more copies to offer the publick. Kra-a-azy
KrOB
‘ll be on hand as well, to provide the (very) Special Effects… So, ADH corn-cluded yet another night on th’ boards.
After-stayers
all enjoyed the post-show party ’till choleric Chicken gave alla those whip-it huffers th’ old heave-ho…
Usually, perturbed Puz-Ev takes done-in Dr. Hal & kaput KrOB on to some late-nite eatery for the after-after par-tay.
Space in his chariot being limited, only a few others traditionally can squeeze in, but it turned out this time that ’twas
deserted Dr. Hal left out in the cold, forlornly watching the others zoom away… just not enuff room in that vehicle…
With self-pitying steps he began t’make his solitary. sad way homeward, but was then spared th’ tender mercies o’
shank’s mare as a jumbo jalopy w/ kindly Kappy’s posse rumbled up and hauled the heavy-hearted headliner to his
forlorn front door… Meanwhile– we keep telling youse– here’re alla those…

AMAZING, AMUSING

PUZZLING EVIDENCE

YOU TUBE

CLIPS!


Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute?
Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence,
you
can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these
handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…


Our second show of the latest run— straw telescopes seek Cassini Probe porn, with Phat Mandee
warbling “Over the Rainbow” in the background! It’s our
October 16th show, its hour come round at
last (
Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/TNz1un4qzWA

Saturn-shine on the moons of Saturn up against the Three Body Problem in the new “invisible” ring;
Cosmic Splat on Iapetus. What flavor ice cream is
Hal, you ask? Answered October 16th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/rgLjQx0yECc

Light bulb eating by Chicken John and Phat Mandee consumes a priceless antique Edison -Mazda bulb
October 16th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/0/SCP6w2S1zcY

Our prevue show features Moon Matters, & Pete Goldie offers a lunar lunchpail on October 9th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/OE2n6ph_aNs

Then after more Selenitic sensationalism Pete gives Chicken a needed lesson in courtesy, aided by
the
Politeness Pachyderm, a.k.a. the Polite Elephant. This was on October 9th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/xEKerwUwodA

Dr. Hal enters with an excerpt from Milton‘s L’Allegro, somewhat bungled as always– then… From our
October 9th show (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/Nc-GK1Vds8A

Love and other things, Hell, clay, pebbles, meters, Chaco Taco’s Op-ish birth story, carnys, BigTop
peanuts, hay, barkers, cops, burlesque girls, vagina dentata, THC-induced delirium, clicking sounds,
Dawn‘s laugh, Don Fisher, Jesus‘ middle name, you name it… on October 9th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/7OQ7eO45YJM

Picking up some still life while being “gingered” by a microwaved viking dressed in a paisley fractal
art barge….priceless.
At least, we hoped so– on October 9th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/co14OqXtjUs

ART SHOW! THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME

OPENS OCTOBER 22ND!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there will be featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page)
the evening of Thursday, October 22nd. A limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost
and Mismatched Socks
(which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is out of them), Dinosaur Alphabet
and Alien Apocalypse 2006 will also be available for sale, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. There will also be an opening party, with a live
performance
by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic! Keep watching this space for more
details. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees and locally produced foods, can be reached at
                  (415) 252-7855.


ASK DR. HAL RETURNS with our FIRST NEW SHOW!

October 14th, 2009

                                   A D V E R T I S E M E N T
“The “Ask Dr. Hal Show” featuring Dr. Hal and Chicken John. Dr. Hal: One of the funniest
SubGeniuses alive.”
–Ministry of Slack

 “He [Dr. Hal] talks too much.”
–Doug Wellman

               Chicken John
                           

                               presents

=========A GRAND RE-OPENING!!!=========

THE ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW

 

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. Hal!
Show
comes roaring back– with Chicken John & all your favorite crew!
Robert Levy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete Goldie‘s Science
Scoops
! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs the Internet! Dr. Hal
answers your queries! They’re all back– doing the show once more!
Everybody– even–
Woo-hoo! –Frank Chu! It’s just as if we never left!
And take note:

      WE‘RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
     

FRIDAY,

October 16th!

THE THIRD FRIDAY IN OCTOBER…

   

NINE P.M. SHARP!

DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM


THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as
we can.
Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we won’t hold the
curtain
as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the
last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ
POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about
12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!


Admission $10.00 or what you can…

no one turned away…                
                        

S L I- I- I- I- I D I N G     S C A L E !

         The Dr. Hal Report        
Vol. XII                                                                                                                        
No. 1  

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged,
to find the ways in which
you yourself have altered.”
                                –Nelson Mandela, “A Long Walk to Freedom’

 UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!

Popeye Meets Sindbad (1936)

Another in our series of

the best American cartoons!

Lovingly selectedby KrOB

 …and with HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:


“Swift Vengeance of the Chelonians!” 

From the depths of interstellar space they come– unearthly beings evolved under a remote
and alien sun. Down from the sky in star-spanning ships, masters of an unknown technology who
could release actinic energies far in advance of humanity’s primitive gunpowder and nuclear weapons,
these sapient creatures are completely non-terrestrial in provenance– of a different clay. Able to
deal severely, with terrifying ruthlessness, with any bumbling monkey-boy humanoids who unwisely
oppose them, the creatures from space are revealed as… turtles.

Well, that’s a surprise. But, really,
should it be, when we note what evolutionary forces have brought about during the development of
life on our own planet? Actually, they‘re the descendants of tortoise-like ancestors– it’s been aeons
since they resembled earthly terrapins. But you don’t want to mess with ’em. No way, no how.
These guys don’t just lie around under a plastic palm tree. Beware… beware!

NO BARBUT YOU CAN DRINK!

(JUST BRING YOUR OWN)

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:                  

  http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/


NEWS

PARTY! NEW DR. HAL ART SHOW OPENS OCTOBER 22ND IN S.F.
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s
last art show, some of the images shown there will be featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Cafe, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page)
the evening of Thursday, October 22nd. A limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost
and Mismatched Socks
(which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is out of them), Dinosaur Alphabet
and Alien Apocalypse 2006 will also be available for sale, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. There will also be an opening party, with a live
performance
by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic! Keep watching this space for more
details. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees and locally produced foods, can be reached at
(415) 252-7855.

SOCIAL NOTES
The Preview Show on the 9th had a minimum of publicity, but the word got out thru word-of-mouth & Chicken’s last-
minute e-mailing. Heckuva way to run a railroad, but still we got a crowd: beauteous Beth, whose request for relationship
advice
might have gotten lost in all the hoo-haw, chipper Chopper, lissome Laura, big Ben K., slinky Sari & glamorous
Gooby Herms, anxious about our future fate in 2012– or maybe just abt. that upcoming movie… Yes, the faithful were
indeed there, Jones-ing for our particular brand of “irritainment.” And did they ever get it… We mean, did they? Some
seemed nonplussed… Not that we’d expect ’em to be plussed… Especially when (again!) during KrOB’s Monster Movie
they started falling thru the floor. Chicken shouldda made it thicker, we suppose. One of the pews just started sinking,
fomenting chaos, & not the kind ol’ Jean Poulet likes, either. We’d rather deal with that, though, than the hair-catching-
on-fire
thing, given a choice… Demented Dave “Cappy” Capurro was in the house– but not on stage, where supercilious
Sean Kelly stood in. When is he coming in from the cold? Next wk., we hear…Snappy Sean did OK, though, not even
distracted by his recent marriage to angelic Anneke… Wotta production that was… An incredible party… In point of fact,
Your Correspondent was there, & they never once ran short of Champagne– the krafty Kellys made sure o’ that… Smooth-
talking Sean told us they still had any number of bottles stashed away, or, as we say in the Church of the SubGenius
(plug-ola!), too much is always better than not enough… Former ADH Guest Host Geoffrey Smart came in for the fun, as
did delectable Dawn Stott… & let’s not be forgetting princely Paul Pot… Who could forget quondam hillbillies subversive
Spy & meticulous Moses giving Chicken a Lesson in Politesse, brokered by Paideutic Pete Goldie? And the Holy
Hemptress,
we hear, kept up a line of chatter thru the proceedings– so long as she had fun, & we had the word she did…
Persistent Puzzling Evidence, who hears all & sees all, was tracking it all, via mini-cam, for future You Tube placement…
Get thee to Puzzling Evidence TV on the Interweb, seekers, & check out his latest vids. After so many long years of
recording at so many events, we suspect it’s all going up on You Tube… At last we’ll get to glim that fabled footage... Drop
your eyes down to some of the coverage of our latest shows, right below… Just click on any of those URLs directly under
this feature, creature. And come in for our big opening show next week. That’s the one to catch, natch. Meanwhile– we
keep telling you– here’re all those…

AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE

YOU TUBE CLIPS!

Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute?

Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these
handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…
As advertised, so-called Siamese TwinsDannygirl Waters & Katy Bell essay absent Chicken‘s role,
first bringing on
Attaboy— this is all on August 19th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/31/jTG6UKqk4PY

Then Pete Goldie struts his stuff in Space, thanx to the Distaff Duo August 19th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/30/-nxzwUDbbho

The Siamese Twinlets bring out Dr. Hal, and it all gets metaphysical August 19th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/29/9pAeEgc8K0I

Dr. Hal‘s personal sexual preferences & Default Mode are then revealed August 19th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/28/EY8v_RcBcPY

A Shropshire Lad is folded in as a mandatory recitation, still August 19th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/27/ko3vntTe5gM

It all concludes with a query on ectoplasm– but why not? A $20 Buck Question! –and
Puzzling Evidence huffs a record amount of Church Air, all on August 19th (Pt. 666):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/26/-ZWceYQdTcI

See you at the

CHEZ POULET

GALLERY-CABARET


3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)

San Francisco, California 


[Near Mission & 19th Sts.]


This Friday Night!

Oct. 16th!