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How It Works

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Dr. Hal sits behind the podium before you as a conduit for your consideration. His experience, learned verbosity and prowess with all things will astound and amuse you unlike any science Q&A on Monday night on the East side of Mission Street.
Do not insult Herr Doctor with insipid trivia; Dr. Hal need not be burdened with facts you already know or wish to challenge him with… Nay. We shall save that for YOUR Q&A show. Ask of the gentle Doctor something you have always wondered about. Something you need to know. Something that has possibly been on your mind for a few decades. Dr. Hal knows not why “Billy is such a farthead” –such questions will be discarded with contempt by Chicken John, assistant to the MAN. Dr. Hal also doesn’t care to do math, so if you were to ask: what is the quantitative result of 235^9~~=.9332^% to the 3^rd power of attorney… your question may be shunned. This show is of an improvisational nature and relies on good questions. Please do your part.

Questions that we deem above average may be rewarded with a shot of Fernet…If you are given a shot of Fernet, the miracle liquor, you must come up on stage and drink it down.

A gratuity placed in the envelope will insure that your question receives the respect it deserves. Commonly, one dollar gets you AN answer. A few dollars gets you a great answer. $5 gets you a masterful and poetic summary of the relevant information. $20 gets you one of Hal’s bardic recitations, which may even be relevant to the question. Any further generosity will be met with a proportionate response.

The side note is the only appropriate interruption, freely provided by any member of the audience who would like to add shading to an answer. We encourage the side note- and strongly discourage yelling your additional remarks or rebuttals. The side note is the only appropriate venue for such additions in our refined, intellectual salon. Please pen your side note and just hand it right to Chicken John. Just like that.
Please do not get KROB stoned before the show.

Our computer maven, David Capurro, will pick up roadkill from the information superhighway throughout the show for your delectation and amusement.
Still not sure about any of this? Hey, this is our concept, evolved over eight hard-hitting years of ruthless entertainment.

Question of the Day

Question:

“Dr. Hal, how old was the oldest person who ever lived?”

Answer:

Despite repeated ejaculations of, "Bullshit!" from Chicken, in 2001 I related how until modern times, and discounting the long-livers in the Bible, since otherwise nobody could beat Adam, Methuselah and that crowd, the oldest man known was Thomas Parr, also known just as "Old Parr." An English servant born in 1483, Parr lived a record 152 years. He waited to marry until he was eighty years old, and his first wife lived thirty-two years after the couple was wed. Eight years later, he married again. At 130 he was still working on his master's farm, pounding the grain and plowing the fields. At 150 his supernormal age and intelligence intrigued King Charles I, who sent for him. The stress of the journey to London, where he was mobbed by admirers, proved too much for the old boy, and he took sick and drew his last breath at the age of 152 Years and 9 months, having lived under 9 kings of England, who I listed at the show as part of my answer, but won't here. The noted physician William Harvey, credited with the discovery of the circulation of human blood, and with being an ancestor of Burning Man honcho Larry Harvey, examined Parr's body and found "...ye Constitution & Condition of said Parr's Innards & all internall Organs approach'd a State of Perfection." A monument to him (Parr) was erected at Westminster Abbey. This all-time record, however, was surmounted in modern times by Javier Pereira, a Zenu Indian from Colombia. Pereira died in 1955 in his hometown of Monteria at the advanced age of 166. Oh, his age was attested by friends, municipal records, and Pereira himself, who could remember with great clarity the Battle of Cartagena, fought in 1815, numerous Indian massacres (or, as we say today, Native American Direct Actions) and a famous famine.
Toward the end of his life, Pereira was brought to New York to be examined by a coterie of medical experts. Their conclusion: though they found him "remarkably well-preserved," with "the blood pressure of a young man," arteries intact, a good heart and a clear mind, they conceded that he was indeed a very, very old man, "...more than 150 years old." When asked his secret for longevity, Pereira reportedly advised, "Don't worry-- just chew coca, drink lots of coffee and smoke a big cigar whenever you feel like it."

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Question of the Day

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