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Dr. Hal
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Hal-bug
Date: 09/26/2007
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Dr. Hal
Question of the Day
Question:
"Dr. Hal, I kind of found this little ant crawlin' around, and he looked lonely so I put him in a mayonnaise jar. Should I find him a girlfriend?"
Answer:
No and no. May I suggest that you seem to have too much time on your hands? But, look. A lonely ant is a dead ant. They exist physically apart from the colony but not essentially apart. You have a little severed piece of the emmet community in your jar. That's what you have. Let him out and he'll find his way back, if you put him where you found him. Formix, the Ant God, will thank you, which may come in handy at your next picnic. Ants follow molecule-wide scent trails. Other colonies would sting him to death as an auslander. And a girlfriend? No way, José. your ant buddy is sexless. Workers aren't assigned sexuality in their ruthlessly specialized existence. I thought everyone knew that. Males have wings-- at least, until their job is done. Then the wings fall off, and then they die. Your worker's Platonic girlfriend (and mom) is the queen. Long live the queen!