COME CELEBRATE WITH US OUR MUSHROOMING
CHRISTMAS EVE SHOW!
WEDNESDAY, Dec. 24th!
It’s Time to Come and Visit a Popular Favorite Again
The Night Before Christmas…
==PRESENTED ON OUR ALL-NEW STAGE==
The Famous Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
And… ANNOUNCING OUR
ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOW!
–OUR 22nd CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!
ON DECEMBER 25th
The Night of Christmas Day!
DEC. 24th – Ask Dr. Hal!
DEC. 25th – Christmas Show !
FOR DETAILS, SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM–
JUST BELOW THE PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE LINK ARRAY…
A T a time when all rejoice at the peak of the Holiday Season with
expressions and celebrations of love and good will for all humanity,
KrOB opens his heart and celebrates by bringing Yuletide cheer to
you and yours in his own joyous, Seasonal way, with
“WHEN GIANT TRAP-DOOR
MONSTROUSLY ENLARGED, FEROCIOUS SUBTERRANEAN
ARACHNIDS BURST FORTH TO ASSAIL HUMAN VICTIMS
Trap-door spiders make up the family Ctenizidae of the order Araneae.
The species common in the southwestern United States is classified as
Bothriocyrtum californicum. However, these are only distant relations to
certain huge mutants living entirely underground in a system of deep
caverns in Mexico. And, Pilgrim, these are deep caverns that you
probably would rather stay away from. no? Also, don’t drink the water.
So, this Christmas Eve, come to our show, settle in and enjoy the scuttling,
scrambling horror of KrOB’s unbearably creepy Spider edit. Of course, as
always, we advise those who may be overly sensitive to such material to turn
away their heads or shade their eyes during the interval when these
oversized megalomorphs swing into action. It’s “showbiz,” pure and simple–
great entertainment for young and old– and it’s all happening right here–
AT THE FAMED
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
where SHOWTIME “ALWAYS” BEGINS AT
WE MEAN IT THESE DAYS– WE REALLY DO…
Admission to the Ask Dr. Hal! show in its newest form? That’s
C H E A P !
WE START… WITH A CLASSIC CARTOON!
Just before each performance begins, we screen a great animated
cartoon– each one seven minutes of the best theatrical shorts ever
committed to film. Last week we showed one of the Walt Disney Studio’s
rarely seen Wartime propaganda cartoons, Reason and Emotion (1943),
directed for Disney by Bill Roberts. This week we bring you another of the
all-time greatest cartoons, the truly wonderful Snow White (1933). Not
Walt Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs– in any case that’s a
Feature-length cartoon (the first in history, in fact, but let’s not “go there,” as
they (regrettably) say. No, this is a short film in the Betty Boop series from
the Max Fleischer cartoon studio. Max’s brother Dave was credited as
director, although virtually all the animation was done by Roland Crandall.
As a reward for his years of work at the Fleischer studio, Crandall was
given the job to make Snow White himself, and the resulting film turned out
to transcend the project and even, in some blissed-out way, the limitations of
the animation medium. Bizarre, melancholy and morbid, it’s also one of the
musically greatest of all cartoon shorts. Cab Calloway’s unforgettable version
of St. James Infirmary Blues becomes the cartoon’s centerpiece, in a
non-linear story which amazingly seems to overcome evil and death. Kind of
a major load for a silly-ass little cartoon to carry, you’re undoubtedly thinking
(if you’ve never seen it, that is), but just wait till you see it. It’s been deemed
“culturally significant” by the United States Library of Congress, after all,
and preserved in the National Film Registry. In 1994 it was voted #19 of the
50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time by members of the animation field. And,
since this film is now in public domain, it’s even legal for KrOB to show it.
(You did know, didn’t you, that most of the stuff we show is illegal?) There
are Christian Fundamentalist groups, so-called Evangelicals, who’ve called
the movie “Satanic.” And it doesn’t stop there, because, throughout the years,
various censors and psychologists have suppressed this little film, or worse,
marred it with cuts of “disturbing” scenes, such as the one in which the Evil
Queen, in transmogrified Monster Form, is grabbed by the tongue (by Ko-Ko
the Clown) and yanked completely inside out, bones, guts and all. Whew!
Oh yes, there’s a lot of great stuff packed into the incredibly short running length
of this cartoon– and we are as always taking pains to give you the whole thing
complete and uncut. So join us this Wednesday night in time to catch up with
yet another treasure of your Nation’s vanished popular culture. Remember,
our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on
“I’m telling you; these guys MUST have been on acid who wrote and drew
some of these early Betty Boop cartoons! They are so wild, it’s unbelievable.”
GUESS WHO? FRANK CHU!
Yes, Frank is back! And we’ve got him! At some time during every show,
by special arrangement, the perennial protester/holy man, protest sign grasped
firmly in hand, the living institution after whose oracular rantings the late,
great 12 Galaxies night club was named, will ascend the stage once again–
and deliver a rapid-fire, impassioned, incomprehensible bromide. You can
rely on it (as the Talking 8-Ball says). Go, Frank! We’ve even got him
David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro provides a running visual commentary as the
show progresses. To see what that means, you’ve got to watch the guy in
action. As “Cappy’s” agile fingers fly over the keyboard you will be unable to
avoid the horrendous, stomach-churning, hyper-pornographic results, all
part of some sort of Multi-Media Experience…
FOR PETE’S SAKE! SPACE IS THE PLACE!
Our own resident Astronomer, Pete Goldie gives us information on Outer
Space and what may be found there. He’s got a nifty little model of the
Cassini-Huygens Probe that you’ll see at the show, the amazing, far-travelling
spacecraft that just this last week detected conditions favorable for organic
life on Saturn’s mysterious moon, Titan. Something’s always happening in
Space these days– and sure as Entropy, Pete’s going to be telling us al-l-l-l
CHICKEN JOHN SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! show in a brand new
location: my living room. It’s 4 guys doing improv on 4 different
levels. It can be amazing.”
NOT A BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!
So there won’t be any booze for sale, OK? We don’t do the show in a bar any
more, so it’s OK to drink, but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of
course, good questions will still be rewarded in the traditional manner– with that
old standby, Fernet Branca, TM –the “Miracle Liquor.” That’s the one way you
can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal!
Visit www.askdrhal.com for more information than you need.
THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW – FEATURING FRANK CHU – CHICKEN JOHN – DR. HAL – KrOB –
PETE GOLDIE – DAVID CAPURRO – ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED – BARDIC
RECITATIONS – FERNET GIVEAWAYS – CARTOONS – KrOB MONSTER CLIP EDITS – WITH
OUR VERY SPECIAL GUESTS THOSE ROOF-DWELLING HILLBILLIES THE “PO’BUCKERS”
DONATION TEN DOLLARS OR SO – AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN COME – OUR DOORMAN
ROBERT LEVY WILL GLOM YOUR DOUGH AS YOU CROSS OUR THRESHOLD. COME ALL,
COME ONE, NEW SHOW, NEW RUN…
The Ukulele- playing Wahines never did show up. Chicken thinks some other venue musta
offered ’em a few more Coconuts. Could be– but they missed one helluva show. And wotta
crowd– some of our most faithful attendees showed up, incl. “Gentleman” Geoffrey Smart,
Jaunty John Law, who was, well, drunk, & pugnacious Paul the Plumber, who was drunk-er.
Right around the time ol’ Paul (passed out?) disappeared from the scene, an enraged gorilla
showed up. This was no brazen Brazilian Astronaut (as far as we could tell, Kiko “Kong” was
at home, squeezing his main squeeze Juniper-fresh Jennalex), but an enraged & steamed
simian who “acted out,” slamming into Ringmonster “Cheerful” Chicken John’s desk, nearly
pushing it over and sending all the objects thereon crashing to the floor of the good ol’ Chez
Poulet Gallery-Cabaret. We’ll readily forgive krazy Kiko 4 staying away, but the angry aggro
Ape oughta lay off th’ sauce– that’s how it looks from here in the press box… Fearless Frank
Chu did make the scene– he got his Soapbox Moment, & we hope there’ll be many more…
The National Cynical Network’s own Phinicky Phineas Narco emerged from his Fortress of
Solitude up N. way to motor all the way down to Ess Eff 4 our No. 7 ADH. Phabulous Phinny
(a.k.a. Joltin’ James Scianna) helms radio’s amazing Plundercasts every week– we know the
pressures of a weakly p’formance date– oh, yes, we do — so kudos, whatever they are, to Mr.
Narco for spending the time to take in our shindig. For full info on his shows, check out
www.plundercast.net and get into the listening habit. Radio’s Posterboy Puzzling Evidence
of KPFA 94.1 FM’s same-named, long running 2-hr. ea-arly a.m. xtravaganza was also pres-
ent & accounted for. Nota bene: puissant P.E. celebrated 25 years on the air this year, along
w/ Phelonious Philo Drummond & ADH’s own demented Dr. Howland Owll, & so much for the
standard plug-ola… Readers of this col. know persistent Puzzo’s been shooting assorted mini-
docs of our show which he then puts up for daring display on You Tube. Wanna see ’em? Well,
click on the links below– way below –there’s a new one each time we go to press… Red-hot
rockster Lloyd Mongoloid of Cookie Mongoloid fame was also in the house… watta gaggle of
gadabouts… the place was as full of stars as one of pedantic Pete Goldie’s Slide Shows. Take
ravishing Robin Coomer, f’rinstance (& if we could we’d die happy), supernal singer (with studly
Sam Bass) of supergroup Loop! Station– the talented duo have a new CD on the cusp of
being born– resplendent Robin cheered us on & gyrated during our 2-Minute Dance Party, an
institution founded a few sessions back by enchanting Ena Dallas… There were delectable dolls
everywhere you looked; we noted kurvaceous Kate Willett (& why not? She lives @ Chicken’s),
meritorious Mable Syrup w/ scion rhapsodic Rhiannon Charisse of the Dark Room Theatre–
have you seen their version of Star Wars on stage, approved by nonother than generous George
Lucas himself? –languid Laurel Davies, of TV’s legendary Bohemian Bug Girl Show, kinky
Kaye, & statuesque Simone Oumpeade… The Boys’ Team included rampant Rick Abruzzo,
gadabout Gary Longoria, & of course pushy Paul Pot, whose intricate work on the Cassini-
Huygens Probe never ceases. He just finished a re-do on the spiffy spacecraft’s deep-gain
antenna. By the time he’s through it’ll be as launch-worthy as its real-life namesake. And the
after-party took its time leaving the snug Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, as if nobody really
even wanted to leave. As for us, we plan to be there for awhile. That’s right! Now that we’re
booking the show ourselves, in its own performance space, no harried rock club owner
(& for the record I don’t mean our devoted, doughty Doorman, reliable Robert Levy, late of our
last venue, the late, great 12 Galaxies, named by frantic Frank Chu) –can “suddenly” recall that
one of our show dates is preempted by a thoughtlessly booked Pooveshterz concert, benefit for
a Wistful Sexual Predator’s Bicycle Contretemps or other seemingly more profitable
enterprise… It (the Show) goes on the boards every dad-blamed Wednesday at 9:00 PM, and
that’s the way the confectionery crumbles. Here at Chicken John Productions we like to keep
in mind that some of you have a need… a need to catch the la-a-a-st B.A.R.T. train at 12:17 AM
from the 24th St. Mission Station back to the wilds of the East Bay. Translation: these days we
start earlier. And end earlier, too.Yes, we’ve been known to hold the door for latecomers. Just
don’t depend on it. So try to get there before 9:00 PM, wontcha, or you might miss the cartoon
(which wd. be a tragedy), or come in while it’s unreeling, so’s others get distracted & don’t get to
see it. Then we’ll all just hate you…
AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx
to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from
previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s technologically
au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! How?
Why, just click on these handy URLs.
See tantalizing excerpts from our December 10th show! Try clicking on this:
See excerpts from our December 3rd show! Click on this, or, if that doesn’t
work just cut and paste it into your browser:
View choice fragments from our November 26th show on You
Tube, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence. SEE Chicken unfairly
berate KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield even
than usual in his meandering “answers” to several questions.
Just go to:
See clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those cuss-words. Go to:
The endless-seeming Election Period is now, at last, behind us. For
those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow, check
out this ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video
clip from the ADH Pirate Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete
“Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance of special guests
Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi
McTaint. Go to:
See you Wednesday night!
LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK!
A C H R I S T M A S M E S S A G E F R O M
C H I C K E N J O H N . . .
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Chicken John to do 22nd
Stupid Christmas Show!
ADMISSION $10.00 AT THE DOOR
SAN FRANCISCO – Chicken John, noted idiot, started a tradition
back in 1986. He threw a Christmas show, on Christmas Night– for
people who didn’t have families, or had them but couldn’t be with
them for whatever reason. Call it Orphan Christmas.
The show started out as a punk rock show with music and other
stuff. In the early 90’s it became a variety show. In 1997, with partner
Hal Robins (the Ask Dr.Hal! show, SubGenius Foundation, voice of
Half-Life’s Isaac Kleiner) it became a homegrown version of a popular
Chuck Barris Game Show: Treasure Hunt. In the show Treasure Hunt,
you answer a trivia question, and if you get it right you get to select a
wrapped present. You open it, and keep whatever was in the box.
Chicken adopted this concept, but put the gifts under a “Christmas
Tree” (usually a mike stand with a branch duct taped to it). But the twist
is that Chicken gets people to bring the wrapped gifts. So, say,
someone may come with a whole pick up truckload of gifts. The pile is
often, in fact, very high.
The show starts at 10PM. The show ends when the last gift is opened
(which was after 3AM last year). It’s really a marathon of unendurable
comic improv, as Chicken and Hal drag everyone on stage to answer
Trivial Pursuit questions and fill the Chez Poulet with gift wrappings and
Holiday bullshit. Some gifts are stellar, some a joke. Some are just
confusing. Best present to date was a ticket to Burning Man. The worst–
a dirty diaper.
Others have been an entire set of encyclopedias, various items of small
furniture, comic books, fake Rolex watches, “sea monkeys,” cat food, a
diary, original artwork, a paddle-ball game, a bubble-blower, a set of
car keys, a laptop, a bag of weed, pictures of your mother naked, a
parking ticket (payable), fun-sized candy, a coupon for a hand job, a
Ritual Roasters Coffee coupon, garbage bags and a Slinky. It wouldn’t be
Christmas if someone didn’t get a Slinky, would it? So, on Christmas Night,
come over to the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret.Your family is all of us
who also have no families. And if you weren’t going to get to unwrap a gift
this year– well, Chicken’s got you covered. God bless us all. Everyone. Even
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas,” Year 22!
(Also known as, “The Year Chicken John Ruined Christmas”)
DECEMBER 25th– Christmas Night, 10 PM.
ADMISSION TEN ($10) DOLLARS AMERICAN– YOU
SHOULD BRING A PRESENT — YOU WILL LEAVE
WITH A PRESENT…
So, it’s like this…
DECEMBER 24th: The Ask Dr. Hal! Show. DECEMBER 25th:
The 22nd Annual Christmas Show. Come to both!