Our very last show, according to Chicken John, will take place on Wednesday, April 15th…

RUN EXTENDED! OUR FINAL, FAREWELL PERFORMANCE!
Ask Dr. Hal’s 23rd Psalm!
— WILL YOU MISS THE CLIMAX OF A LEGENDARY SERIES? —

==PRESENTED ON OUR ENDURING STAGE==
(BUILT TO WITHSTAND A NUCLEAR WAR!)
AT
The Famous Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
where SHOWTIME— more or less– BEGINS at around
=9:00 PM=
THE SLAPDOWN– Admission: $ 10-ISH
( CHEAP! NO ONE TURNED AWAY! A BARGAIN!)

                            3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.

                    The Dr. Hal Report
Vol. IX                                                                  No. 23

“Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life
as though it were thy last.”

                        — Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

WE ARE LEAVING…

THIS WEEK:
END STILL HOVERS NEAR, SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE – COUNTED DOWN TO
DOOM BUT STILL AROUND – RADIO REJUVENATION – GRASPED AT STRAWS, STRAWS BROKE –
MONSTER CLIP: QUETZALCOATLUS – FALLING HARE – THE LAST BLASTED ASK DR. HAL! SHOW –
HILLBILLY HADES – FRANK CHU MAKES DO –

CAPPY’S RAISON D’ÊTRE – PETE GOLDIE’S
STARRY WISDOM: THE STAR HOUNDS – HOUSE RULES RULE – QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS –
SOCIAL NOTES – SLICK CHICK IN A CHICKEN AT CHICKEN’S – PARADE OF PULCHRITUDE
PERSISTS – WORTHY OF NOTE – HELP FOR HOLLIS – LOOP! STATION WILL STAGE LOOP! COUP
FRIDAY, APRIL 17th AT YOSHI’S IN SANFRAN TOWN – DR. HAL & THE ODEON COCAINE ALL-STARS TO PLAY AT AMNESIA APRIL 19th – – KrOB’S FILM FARM RETURNS, NO, NOT MONDAY,
NOT TUESDAY, BUT FRIDAY, APRIL 24th – MAYBE THIS ONE WILL BE REALLY REAL: DON’T MISS
THE LAST SHOW IN THE CURRENT KrOB BUS RIDE SERIES: SCREENED WILL BE IT’S A MAD, MAD,
MAD, MAD WORLD— WITH EYENOISE, FUN, GAGS & SURPRISES – VISIT OLD PLANES FOR OLD
TIME’S SAKE – – RESIST THE EVIL PROGRAMMING OF JEJUNEIST CULT: HEAR COMMANDER 14
OF NONCHALANCE‘S BROADCAST 24-7 IN UPPER DOLORES PARK – YOKED EVEN MORE WITH
YOU TUBE – PUZZO‘S NUDEST CLIPS WILL MAKE YOU SEE STARS (& GARTERS)…

THE Ides of April are come. Aye, but not gone. And thus it comes to pass.
Chicken has seen fit to end our run of Ask Dr. Hal! We thought there were either two more or three more
of these things. Our guess was two more. But Chicken keeps changing the dates around. He swears this
next show is it– period. (See below). And, yes, he still plans to fly off after that to bring his brand of
Showmanship to the Old World– we don’t know for how long; the official word remains for ” 5 to 8 weeks.”
As readers of this space know, he’s going to be leaving all of us behind in San Francisco as he goes off to
Europe some time around the end of April.
With his giant fund-raising installation, Lost Vegas (see The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX, No. 22), he has now
raised enough capital to rescue his European friends from bankruptcy. Now he can visit them and mess
around installing ponderous internal combustion engines from massive American cars in flimsy Euro-“Art
Boats” over there in Slovenia, before he drifts down the weary, winding waterways of the Continent into the
sewage-strewn, reeking canals of Venice. That’s Venice, Italy– those Slovenians apparently need an infusion
of Detroit Iron in their flimsy, arty watercraft–
And, since he long ago decreed that the Ask Dr. Hal! Show of the present day must take place in his house,
the restive Mr. Rinaldi doesn’t want a crowd of people there while he’s away and unable to prevent them
from invading, tromping cattle-like into the various chambers including his atelier and sanctum sanctorum,
stealing his shirt-studs and collar stays, the sterling silverware, the case of bowling trophies, his collections
of Fabergé eggs,  dueling pistols, gilded snuff-boxes and framed hunting prints, rifling through his drawers
(he hates that), leaving fingerprints on the wallpaper and his secret cupboard of erotic pottery, un-sticking
his stamp collection, breaking his extensive O-scale model railroad layout, making off with his cabinet of
simply adorable vintage Hummel figurines– and “borrowing” (more or less permanently) his beloved arsenal
of power tools. So, that’s it; we’re out of there, it’s been swell, and now, perforce, we strongly, strongly do
urge you not to let go by your final opportunity remaining to experience the awe and mystery, the wonder,
laughter and bemusement, the savagery and splendor, the ne plus ultra we like to call the Ask Dr. Hal!
Show.

BUT… WE’LL CONTINUE AS BEFORE ON PIRATE CAT RADIO, RIGHT?
No– we won’t. Like numerous others, we’ve had our differences with the management and have in consequence
been cashiered. But, you know, there just may be…

FAINT GLIMMERS OF… HOPE!
Really? Hope? Well, keep watching this space for word of a continuing show Dr. Hal may get to do, if the Gods
are willing, without Chicken and in an entirely different but nearby (in the Mission) space! Fairly soon we’ll be
trying an experiment for those weeks when Chicken’s out of the U.S. –a different, more intimate version of the  show you know. Mum’s the word right now– difficult, Byzantine negotiations are still going forward with a
leading Gallery-Performance Space on scenic 24th St.  We are also planning to broadcast these shows live on
the new FCC Free Radio, S.F.’s latest Pirate radio station. Check out http://FCCFREERADIO.com And still more
is in the works. We’ll announce the changeover when it happens, and hope that we will bring many of our current
audience members to our projected new venue. Meanwhile, these are our last remaining hours at Chez Poulet,
and we’re more determined than ever to make history in our own way as we conclude there. This last show will be
historic. We’ll be in the zone, at the peak of our form. If you haven’t been coming, now is the time to catch us
at our zenith. Even is these closing days, we’re still refining Ask Dr. Hal! as we go– the word is that our last
three performances have been our very best so far– we’re going to try to go out with the proverbial bang, a real
Shuffle-off-to-Buffalo ending. Kreative KrOB’s on the job, as always, brewing up new surprises in his cinema
cauldron, adding a little of this and that to the bubbling brew. This week, for example, the mandatory obligatory
traditional Monster Clip, last week dealing with “Pursuit from Under” in the form of a raging, bulbous, ill-tempered
colossal octopus, now will, in the classic spirit of these interludes, feature pursuit from above, when

KrOB, San Francisco, presents:
THE FLYING WHATCHAMACALLIT!
Yes, KrOB’s done it again. If you liked the octopus, rising up from the depths to wreak havoc, you’ll love this flapping,
fluttering, scientifically unclassifiable behemoth that swoops down from the skies of Manhattan to seize and devour its
hapless prey. Very difficult to say what this dragon-like, serpentine terror may be. The wing structure is completely
novel biologically. It comes down at you out of the sun, making it hard to see and avoid. Big, beaky bastard. And, actually,
some say it’s a kind of god– a god that seeks out its own sacrifices. The Aztec feathered serpent-god Quetzalcoatl. Why
it’s in New York isn’t immediately clear. Something about its return in the End Times. And– nothing can stop it– except a
million cops blasting it with bullets. Yet another in a super-series of unforgettable KrOB “Edits.” Scientific! Educational!
View it all on our Giant Screen (since Chicken seems to have retired or sold our “size-challenged” screen). And ’twill be
narrated, as always, by Dr. Hal. But first, before that…
WE START… WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!
Every episode of Ask Dr. Hal! begins with the showing of a carefully selected, iconic American animated cartoon. KrOB
shows only the best. Last week’s entry was Field & Scream (1955), one of the lesser cartoons (but still dryly funny) by Tex
Avery. We had to show it, because for technical reasons, at the last minute we couldn’t screen the one we advertised,
MGM’s Bad Luck Blackie (1949). And we’re still hoping we can retrieve that one before we quit at Chez Poulet. But now get
ready for another Bob Clampett short from Warner Bros., the “Social Realism” studio. It’s Falling Hare (1943). Made in the
middle of World War II, it’s full of specific topical references that audiences of that time immediately understood. Gags
about gas rationing stickers, for example. Today, few understand them. But because this is a Clampett cartoon, these jokes
are somehow still funny! But that’s not all that distinguishes Falling Hare. Bugs Bunny is a character who always succeeds
in these cartoons– except this time, where he’s given an equally powerful (supernatural) antagonist who tortures him all the
way through the picture. The other point of interest? Gremlins. A while ago (see The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX, No. 4) we
showed Clampett’s Russian Rhapsody, the other WB Gremlin cartoon– there are only two of these cartoons– wherein the little
guys bust up Hitler’s private plane. As early as the 1920’s, pilots reported encounters with weird little “aerial creatures” who
sabotaged planes in flight. Then, during the War, author Roald Dahl, who as a pilot had himself crashed in the Libyan Desert,
wrote of it in his books about his experiences in the Air War, which are as wonderful as anything he ever wrote. In January,
1942, he was transferred to Washington, D.C. as Assistant Air Attaché. There he eventually authored his novel The Gremlins.
The Walt Disney Studio became interested at this point and planned a cartoon series. At Warners, hearing of this, the Studio
rushed ahead to beat Disney –and Clampett made his two Gremlin cartoons. As it happened, Disney never did follow through.
So only Warners ended up dramatizing the Gremlins and their attacks on aircraft. Until The Twilight Zone, that is, when
William Shatner memorably freaked out at the “Gremlin on the wing” only he could see. Anyway, many, many pilots
absolutely swore they had seen the creatures. Read the Wikipedia article. But the official verdict on the “Little Imps of the Air”
is that the stress of combat, the dizzying heights and oxygen deprivation caused pilot hallucinations, often believed to be a
coping mechanism of the mind to help explain the many problems aircraft faced in combat. Right– that’s the official story. Sure,
stress caused hallucinations. Sure. Uh-huh. If only we had more room… but we like to keep these things short & snappy. Now
that you know the basics (though there’s much more to be said on this topic) we invite you to enjoy this cartoon, and the version
we’re showing comes from a pristine, absolutely perfect print. So join us for one of the last times at the good old Chez Poulet
Gallery Cabaret this Wednesday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s once-
flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture. By the bye– you must
know by now that we’re working hard digging up these cartoons, arguing about them, laboring to show you something
wonderful here. So if you’re just going to keep yakkety-yakking and choose to ignore the cartoon while we run it, do us and
everyone else a favor– and go outside and have a cigarette, or play in traffic.
Remember, though, the rest of our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.

“[T]he aircraft is kind of a mix of the DC-3/C-47 and the B-18, which was the “bomber” version of the DC-2.”

–Teenonator, Internet Archive

“The aircraft is a Gooney Bird, which was the military version of the DC3. It was also known as the R4D (Navy), C-47 (Army),
Dakota (British commonwealth) and Skytrain (official but seldom used). There were almost 10,000 of them made during WW2
and it flew in more air forces of the world than any other aircraft since and is still flying in some. I am uncertain at which base
the research was done. It was near Hollywood and it happened sometime between the 12th of May, 1942 and June,1943. The
white star in blue circle was adopted the 12th of May 1942 and changed in June 1943, but the tail flash (red and white tail
stripes) were eliminated on the 26th of May, 1942. There were at least two visits to the military base since the opening scenes
show a Gooney Bird tail without the tail stripes, but they are present in other scenes.”
–The Old Sarge, Internet Archive

“This one starts out a little slow… but once Bugs and the Gremlin get airborne the laughs come one right after another. I did
get a creepy 9/11 flashback when the plane was heading for the skyscrapers.”
–Bob Capps, Internet Archive

THE ABSOLUTELY LAST !!@#$%&?? ASK DR. HAL! SHOW. EVER!
So saith Chicken John about this our next entry. And when you talk to him he sure sounds convinced. We’re typing this at 7 PM on
Sunday– we needed to get some information, so we called and found he was still at Cellspace, still cleaning up the unthinkably
enormous mess generated at Lost Vegas (see The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX, No. 22 and previous issues). In the mood he was in he
insisted that he’d do no more shows after the 15th, close up shop and head for Slovenia. So this really could be “it.” Don’t say
we didn’t warn you…

HEY, WE GOT…
KNOCKED-UP HILLBILLIES– THE PO’BUCKET FAMILY!
In a tiny, tinny, tawdry, tatty, run-down, beat-up, half-pint, washed-up, low-class, two-bit trailer suspended high
above our Ask Dr. Hal! stage dwell the alcoholic, inbred Po’bucket Family, authentic mountain people from whom
Chicken has apparently been illegally collecting rent –and unspecified “services” –for their minimal share of his
echoing, cavernous domain. It’s furtively whispered that they pay not in money but in a certain product produced in
their clandestine “meth” lab. We choose to disbelieve this absurd canard– that trailer’s just too absurdly small. Even
hillbillies couldn’t pull such a thing off in such a reduced amount of space.  At any rate, no one in fact has yet been able
to discern just how  many there are of these freaks at Chicken’s. But be warned that quite often the sound of an ongoing
show, audience laughter, etc. –will rouse them out of their stereotypical lair like a seething, frenzied swarm of Appalachian
ants, apple-knocker alfalfa caterpillars, backwoods bees, clodhopper centipedes, corn-husker chinch bugs, countrified
cockroaches, hayseed hornets, hick hog moths, Podunk potato-flea beetles, rube round-headed apple tree borers,
rusticated rice weevils, sodbuster skeeters, or yokel yellow mealworms. When this happens, the show, we should warn you,
may suffer a momentary interruption. We’re used to it by now, of course, after all this time. But we can’t tell you just to
“ignore this bucolic brood,” as that is truly beyond anyone’s powers. Last week we were all witnesses to the Miracle of
Birth– Hillbilly-style. But we’re sure they’ll be back for our swan song. It’s all we’ve been able to do to continue when the
whole clan suddenly erupts forth with rowdy èlan, often in mid-show. Just surrender to the okie-fied inevitable– we have
to– settle yourself in for the down-home shivaree, as the whole clan sets in a-pickin’ and a-grinnin’ –and proffer a big,
friendly Howdy-do! to Family Units “Big Jed” Moses, “Daisy Duke” Spy and (of course), the smallest con-sarned varmint
of ’em all, li’l Lucky. They’ll soon be leaving for Europe– in fact, with Chicken… Let the Euros deal with them…
TICKETY-BOO  WITH FRANK CHU!
Yes, Frank is back! And we’ve got him! Whatever happens, even if this be our fabled final fling, as sure as the Lord
made little green apples, the Emperor Norton of our own time, who regularly appears at our show to deliver his
Message, will be there! And the tangled tale of Frank Chu  was recently told in these pages. (See The Dr. Hal Report,
Vol. IX, Nos. 14, 15 & 16). These are worth looking up. Then, there’s also a Wikipedia article. Like the original Norton,
Frank is shown certain deference by the discriminating, given free meals and so on. Amazing how history repeats itself,
isn’t it? Just like this advert. We will always welcome Frank Chu at Ask Dr. Hal! He did skip out on us two weeks ago
when we went on during the Evening of the Same Day as the St. Stupid’s Day Parade (see The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX,
No. 21) –and Frank, who marched with the surging throng of Stupid-ites –we saw him there– wore himself out and
never made it to the show. We do think it more than likely that for this our final blow-out, you’ll see him there.
See him right now, if you want to, in the Puzzling Evidence video clip of our February 25th show (Part 2) by clicking
on the link you’ll find in the Monstrous Column of URLs at the bottom of The Dr. Hal Report.

COMPUTER FREEBOOTER A STRAIGHT-SHOOTER!
Straight shots of Fernet Branca, that is. In a cloud of swirling incense, David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro, a mainstay
of our show for lo these many years, provides a running visual commentary to all that is said and done as the show
goes on. It works like this: we mention a topic, David operates his keyboard, and almost instantly there’s a related image
up on the screen. You should have been there to see how he augmented the presentation of our special Guest, Zero
Boy. Keeping up with Zero is an achievement in itself. I.J. (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity
Yo-Yo Pro, one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master of Yo-Yo Fu extraordinaire, is a multi-talented, accomplished
baker and a competent guitarist. A cool customer– but he really lives for but one purpose. His main delight in this life is
to ask an anonymous question at Ask Dr. Hal! and get Chicken, unknowingly, to pour him a free shot of Fernet. And in
this, strangely enough, he always succeeds. And– can he ever put away the Fernet! He sure can do it. So he does it. That
settles it.

PETE GOLDIE MARKS A CHASE– IN SPACE!
Soaring high in the eastern sky and almost overhead at around midnight are the two stars marking the Hunting Dogs, in
Latin known as Canes Venatici. Located about a third of the way from the end of the Big Dipper’s handle and below it,
these dogs were placed in the heavens by the Gods long ago to assist Bootes, the Bear Driver in his daily task of pursuing
the Big Bear (Ursa Major) around the pole of the Celestial Realm. (That Bear is of course the Big Dipper as we know it in
our time. In the Middle Ages they called this familiar constellation the Wain (wagon), as it resembles one (more than a bear,
but not, perhaps, as much as a Dipper). So, that would make the Venatici the harriers of a wagon, not a bear. Dogs will run
after vehicles, won’t they? And Pete is right out there with his backyard telescope, making observations and notes. Were
you at Lost Vegas? Visit Pete’s Quantum Entanglement Game? If you attend our show you know him as our own ADH Science expert. And, despite the needlessly abusive low-comedy sallies of Chicken, as sure as Entropy, Pete (when not
interrupted by a rampaging rogue gorilla, a giant, dancing human-sized chicken, a monstrous cross-species hybrid of the
two forms or an unseemly eructation of copulating, birth-giving, screaming, roof-dwelling hillbillies) just could be going to be
telling each and every one of us about these celestial mutts and other phenomena of the sky. Al-l-l-l-l-l about ’em. Enjoy!
CHICKEN JOHN SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! Show in a brand new location: my living room. It’s four guys doing
improv, on 4 different levels. It can be amazing, This is the last one of these… of these… this is the last one.”

NOT A BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!
So there won’t be any John Barleycorn for sale, OK, alcoholics? We don’t do the show in a bar any more. So, though it’s OK
to drink, if you want to you need to BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to BRING ALCOHOL. Of course, good questions
will still be ree-warded in the traditional manner– with that old standby, Fernet Branca, TM –the “Miracle Liquor.” That’s how
Paul Pot and David “Cappy” Capurro (see above) do it, folks– and that’s the one way you can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal!

THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW – FEATURING FRANK CHU – CHICKEN JOHN – DR. HAL – KrOB – PETE GOLDIE – DAVID CAPURRO –
ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED – BARDIC RECITATIONS – FERNET GIVEAWAYS – THE BEST CARTOONS YOU
NEVER SAW – KrOB MONSTER CLIPS – WITH SPECIAL GUESTS THOSE ROOF-DWELLING HILLBILLIES THE “PO’BUCKETS”
– DONATION TEN DOLLARS OR SO – AS CLOSE AS YOU THINK YOU CAN COME – OUR DROP DEAD GORGEOUS DOOR-GIRL
WILL BE THERE TO TAKE YOUR MONEY AND STEAL YOUR HEART AS YOU CROSS HER PALM & OUR THRESHOLD. MAN!
ISN’T SHE LOVELY? WELL– ALL RIGHT, WE ADMIT IT– IT WON’T BE HER. YES, IT’LL BE ROBERT LEVY. YOU SEE, THAT
DOOR-GIRL, ER, GOT WISE TO US– AND IS GONE– LONG GONE… ANYWAY, COME ALL, COME ONE, SHOW’S DONE, DONE, DONE…

SOCIAL NOTES

The last Ask Dr. Hal! Show was a rip-roaring whirlwind of “irritainment,” as some call it. We did so well that we ran out of
chairs… we had ’em sitting on the floor & standing in the aisles. Maybe our headliner, zegnotronic Zero Boy swelled the
draw– he did one of the greatest routines ever as he took us all on “A Trip to Coney Island,” ably assisted by incredibly fast
finger-work on the old Keyboard from dynamic David Capurro… or our other Special Guest the Right Honorable “Gadabout”
Gavin Newsom, Mayor of San Francisco. Although the much-in-demand Mayor Newsom is rarely in the State of California
these days as he skyes around the U.S. raising money for his Goober-natorial Campaign, last Wed. he flew back from Florida
that morning and appeared at his chum Chicken’s in time to do our show. Too bad if you missed all this. You still have one more
chance to see us while we’re hot. Just ask dazzled David Lynam, or cute Carmen, who endured the dread kooky KrOB Moment,
delectable Dawn Stott– she wasn’t the mystery chicken this time, but was present in an advisory capacity as lovely Lynae Straw
donned the feather’d livery… Ask pneumatic Pamela Lyons if she considered her time there well spent, or marmoreal Melissa…
Kurvaceous Kristina Baverstock might want to second her opinion– or perhaps enchanting Emily of the décolletage that drew all
male eyes (& some female ones)… Torrid Tarin Towers was among us, and roseate Rhiannon Charisse… Joyous Janay
Growden & June-fresh Julie Holabird… Oh, well, there were some males there also, as we said… Who can concentrate on them
when in the presence of ravishing Robin Coomer? But sheer Love of Truth impels us to note the attendance of brawny Butch
McGruder, dashing Deekoo L., ready Rhett, casual Casey Cripe, demented David W., peripatetic Paul Pot– during the recitation,
please! less verbage– but thanx 4 th’ herbage… photog-in-chief Puzzling Evidence… Nobody could deny that bread-delivering
Bishop Joey, a.k.a. edifying Ed Holmes was on deck, tanned, ready & rested after his previous wk.’s St. Stupid’s Day March on th’
First of April… You couldn’t avoid heckling Hillbillies sylvan Spy Emerson &, assisting as his Significant Other gave birth right
on our stage, manly Moses Grubb… Righteous Robert Levy added up the Score at the Door… Discerning D.S. Black was back…
Get the skinny on our show from any of them– or come yourself. You’ve got this final chance. After that, we enter into
uncertainty. Chaotician Chicken likes it that way… WORTHY OF NOTE: .HANDS OUT TO Hometown Gal HOLLIS: The fundraising
continues, all to provide financial help for our pal, Junkyard siren honey-haired Hollis Hawthorne, injured in a motorcycle mishap in
India & still in need of funds tho’ now ensconced at last in Stanford Medical Hospital on these shores. Sofar, th’ community has
raised almost 100 grand, we hear… You too can take part & donate– keep in touch with the latest developments at
http://friendsofhollis.blogspot.com/ –or, and this is even better– donate thru paypal @ elizastrack@gmail.com –help do a good
deed in an evil world. WORTHY OF NOTE: Updates on Upcoming Uphevals Here– & in the Noosphere… Flash! Loop! Station is
coming to Yoshi’s! It’s hard to describe what they do if you’ve been unlucky enuff not to see and hear them yet– we could just say,
along with Chicken, that they’re the best band in San Francisco. However you tell it, singular Sam Bass plays the cello while ravishing
Robin Coomer unlimbers her fabulous voice– it’s never clear just who is “accompanying” whom– while they simultaneously record
loops of the music as they produce it, and play and sing along with these loops as they go. It is fairly clear that their innovative use of
the newest looping technology enables them to create visceral compositions with strangely compelling emotional power. Nobody
else does this– and nobody could sing like radiant Robin. Once you’ve heard them– well, we confess to hearing them in our dreams
sometimes. Now, Friday, April 17th you can also hear–and see them at Yoshi’s (the S.F.one, not the Oakland one). Yoshi’s San
Francisco, if you’ve never been, is at 1330 Fillmore at Eddy, on the ground floor of the Fillmore Heritage Center. That’s on the front
side of the building. If you drive there in a polluto-mobile, valet parking is available, or just park yourself in the garage conveniently
beneath the building. You’ll find the entrance on Eddy Street. Click on this handy URL: http://www.yoshis.com/sanfrancisco, you
clickers. LOOP! SCOOP: –Now it’s available– Loop! Station’s newest CD, Love vs. Love. We’re assuming that you have their other
CDs, as we certainly do… This one will complete the set– get it at Fry’s Electronics– or right here, by clicking on this right now:
cds@cdbaby.com/loopstation4 –get more on all this at www.loopthis.com– & find it in your hearts to support your local arts, if
you’ve got the smarts… Flash! There’s more at Amnesia– don’t forget! DR. HAL & THE ODEON COCAINE ALL-STARS! You
guessed it, Pilgrim–Diabolical Dr. Hal & the Band are roaring back! Once again the All-Stars– consonant Chicken, jammin’ Jason, cool
cat Chris Campbell and demented Dr. Hal are coming out of sequestration to do a music set– this time at Amnesia, 853 Valencia St.,
between 19th & 20th– on Sunday nite– April 19th. Come hear dulcet Dr. Hal sing with the band. We’re working up some new songs &
old favorites, & we will wreak roccocco ‘n’ roll upon you… If we don’t bomb for the entire set, that is… WORTHY OF NOTE: FILM FUN
Flash! Kinky KrOB’s Film Farm on the Bus has… flipped over from Monday to Friday night! Repeat: NOT MONday but FRIday! We
know, we were shocked too. Chicken changed the date again… & again. Then, he changed it again. Hard to keep up? Last time we were
left with (metaphorical) egg on our faces as Chicken abruptly cancelled the whole megilla at the last minute.The disappointed would-be
Film Farmers ended up going over to Pete Goldie’s to watch a movie. Not too shabby. Just the same, this is the last one, and if you want
to be aboard, schedule accordingly for… April 24th. Confirm with Chicken in advance or that mercurial fellow might pull the rug out from
under yet again, a painful prospect to contemplate… The picture? Not a Double Feature for this last outing, but one lo-o-ong movie: IT’S A
MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD, (Stanley Kramer, 1963). A fine movie to see on a bus, let alone on the bus. When it first appeared it
seemed bloated– not all that funny. Still, there was that which drew you into it. And every year since it’s seemed a better movie. With the
dream cast of the ages… But let kandid KrOB deliver the pitch:”Yes, a movie night on Chicken’s (APPLAUSE) Bus. Simple, you might think…
or you might just think simply. In either case, FILM FARM and DRIVE-OUT THEATER is a triumph of artificial selection… That’s probably
why it’s confused so many naturalists. Five years ago, it was spawned in the soggy dark of the Odeon Bar. Strange fertility gave rise to its
‘more than pure’ aesthetic. After the closing of the Odeon, it resurfaced for a short time. The indifference of Normalcy, which became
locally known as ‘Antigenic Drifter Syndrome’ or ‘Advertisements’ very nearly destroyed the show. Since then, back in the subtle care of
Odium Magistrato KrOB and Ringmonster Chicken John, it’s survived and prospered.. and for more than a year it’s evolved into the rolling
cinema it is today. Last year we did FILM FARM and it went something a little like this [Go to PUZZLING EVIDENCE You Tube video stream]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyqgdRdQgNc Here’s what our Captain has to say about it [KrOB konfides]: ‘Drive out movie. You get on the
bus at Ritual at 8:00 on Friday, April 24th! We drive somewhere… We go to a place. Do a thing. The bus has 2 screens. It’s comfortable and
fun. And kinda stupid. KrOB edits little things for before and after the movies. They are amuzing (sic). There is popcorn. The movies he picks
are great. I drive. We get back around Midnight.’  “The show’s for people with their eyes wide open, who never see it coming,” kasual KrOB
kontinues. “Our Final Installment for this season of FILM FARM takes us to the Charles M. Schultz Sonoma County Airport to look at some
old planes (a very cheap knockoff of the Mojave Airplane Graveyard Tour… no real comparison except to say that there ARE some old
(flupped)-up jets and there ARE a couple of movie references – our feature presentation being one of them) and head to my friend’s (MOSTLY
MAGIC) store in Santa Rosa. Once downtown, we’ll have a snack (I recommend Gary Chu’s Chinese Food) and visit Ken Garr, the owner of the
shop and an extremely funny guy, buy some rubber chickens and squirting nickels, and maybe, just maybe we’ll get a magic show… if you’re
good, kids! Whattaya say? But wait– there’s more! FREE CANDY!! EYENOISE!! OLD-FASHIONEDS, MIXED ON A MOVING VEHICLE!! –and
lots MORE SURPRISES! (‘Surprises’ ‘being: things you may or may not actually like, and would certainly never, ever pay for…)  WOO-HOO!” So
that’s it, according to kompletist KrOB. Whew! All this plug-ola’s really bloating the ole Column. And we’re not thru yet. Anyway, that’s th’ skinny
on the Last Voyage of Film Farm. Everything’s coming to an end. Be at Ritual Roasters, 1026 Valencia Street on Friday, April 24th at 8:00 PM
Sharp. [Note time change.] Have $10.00– and wotta bargain –ready for the Driver. If you don’t believe us (& who would after all these
changes?) –you’d believe Facebook, wouldn’t you? Sure you would, all you technology-enslaved automatons. OK, go to                                             http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=65350611029
WORTHY OF NOTE: FAINEANT FOLLIES: The Era of Nonchalance is at hand! If you know what that means (or would like to), have we got a
project for you! Go to Dolores Park at any time. Bring a radio. Once you’re there, tune it to 107.9 FM. Yes, when you’re in upper Dolores Park,
you can listen to a continuous forty-five minute specially engineered dynamic Dr. Hal broadcast (there called Commander 14), running 24-7
on FM radio, 107.9 FM in (((stereo))). And it doesn’t stop there… Too much to do! Keep watching this space to the end of the race…

AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you
can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy!
It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there
in person! How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click,
on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

NOT FROM ASK DR. HAL! –But you will certainly want to see the PUZZ-EV VIDEO RECORD of the recent
STARS & GARTERS Show at Amnesia March 29th, which did feature the talents of KrOB & Dr. Hal! First, SEE Big
Ben Burke sing with shapely Jessy Roadkill, host Leon Redbone, Unicorn and the Bartender who hammered a
sharpened butter knife up his nose… (Pt. 1):

The William Tell Routine is featured, at the end of which, gorgeous Jessy Face is stripped before all via stage
magic, leaving her adorned only in her blushes– and a few insignificant decorations. You may want to watch
this one more than once– we find it endlessly refreshing. Burke’s Ode to a Brass Bikini, Feats of Strength, Lovely
Linda Robertson, Roadkill & Mack are also back for more sexy clowning… what’s not to like? (Pt. 1.1):

Then, Ravishing Roadkill & Curvaceous Claire Mack practice more All-Woman Feats of Stength! And then they
rock out! Oh… my… God… YEAH! Too bad if you missed that STARS & GARTERS Show (Pt. 2):

Dr. Hal plays the Cabin Boy on the Hindenburg as KrOB provides the Sound while the STARS & GARTERS beauties,
Jessy, Jessy & Claire present their puppet-&-people Play (Pt. 3):

It just gets better at the STARS & GARTERS Show when Lewd Lingerie-clad Lesbian Antics at the Beauty Parlor take
over the stage. PUZZ-EV also throws in a Special Effects shot, where, thru the Magick of Backwards Filming, Jessy
Face’s clothes actually go back on… What’ll they think of next? (Pt. 4):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieU1H6SDao8&feature=related

All right, resume normal breathing and watch these Ask Dr. Hal! Show clips…

Pete Goldie blazes like a supernova as he opens on March 18th (Pt. 1):

Frank Chu & Laser-equipped Unicorns occupy Dr. Hal after his entrance as the questions start on March 18th (Pt. 2):

Chicken is busted for Twittering during the show & we land on the Moon once more on March 18th (Pt. 3):

Underdog (cartoon character) occupies us, along with bickering hillbillies on March 18th (Pt. 4):

Pete Goldie blazes a trail as the show begins, detailing the Kepler Mission on March 11th (Pt. 1):

More of Blake’s Milton and a visit from Frank Chu swings the Show into magnum motion
March 11th (Pt. 2):

Now, dream about hornet stings, how to get laid, SubGenius pedigrees, Spy’s KroB moment, personal food
waste size, Frank Chu’s terms and whether or not the 8-Ball knows anything, from March 11th (Pt. 3):

For the last of the courtly poets, some Shelley, a one-armed Viking problem and yet more poetry finish our
excerpt from March 11th (Pt. 4):

Pete Goldie Peers at Comet 134340; Chicken’s recommendations on Baby & Child Care
start things March 4th (Pt. 1):

Satan’s panties & Superman’s orgasm are highlighted after more of Blake’s Milton March 4th (Pt. 2):

Making the best of a bad assignment, Dr. Hal improvises poetically on Politics & Economics
March 4th (Pt. 3):

Micturation apprehended is seen as a question, as is the Nature of the Conspiracy March 4th (Pt. 4):

The show launches with Chicken’s Monologue and Pete Goldie’s paideutic presentation; we
examine the surface of the planet Mars and look at active Neutron Stars February 25th (Pt. 1):

Midget cover bands, Hillbilly interference, and Frank Chu all contribute on February 25th (Pt. 2):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua0rpp16PPY&feature=email

SubGenius propaganda leads the ADH onslaught on February 25th (Pt. 3):

The Skeleton in Armor closes the show with the saga of a Viking’s life and death on February 25th (Pt. 4):

Pete Goldie puts out a Church Air-flavored Science Sizzler @ ADH, more, on February 18th – The first part:

The Price of scrap steel and stock analysis from Chicken intros Dr. Hal’s Wm. Blake recitation on February 18th
in (Pt. 2):

More of February 18th’s hard-hitting Hal Show hammers the point(s) home (Pt. 3) including the dread KrOB
Moment:

Chicken gets a giant spider in the U.S. Mail and welcomes Pete Goldie in the first
of two parts from ADH on February 11th (Pt. 1):

Frank Chu appears like a wandering ghost to haunt our rain-dogged Feb. 11th folly
(Pt. 2), more:

Just get an eyeload of the first part of February 4th’s febrile free-for-all (Pt. 1):

Now permit yourself a peek at the next cheering chunk from Puzz-Ev TV (Pt. 2):

Observe now the orisons of the terminal trefoil tingle of Feb. 4th’s farandole (Pt. 3):

Scrutinize spectacular samples from our circuitous circus on January 28th (Pt. 1):

Peruse the second part of January 28th’s nonpareil Nonesuch (Pt. 2):

The third part & 2nd iteration of Jan. 28th’s performance sensation (Pt. 3):

View variegated visions from our proactive presentation in mid-January of this young year
January 14th (Pt. 1):

The second part of PUZZ-EV’s commanding compilation of the best of ADH’s mid-month
marvel (Pt. 2):

Here’s the skinny on the first show of 2009, in You Tube Edit form, January 7th (Pt. 1):

The second helping of our succulent show smorgasbord (Pt. 2):

Look & wonder as you observe pivotal occurrences from our last show of the year (New Year’s
Eve) December 31st (Pt. 1):

The second half of PUZZ-EV’s hard-hitting slice of our New Year’s omnivorous omnibus (Pt. 2):

Gaze now at this exceptional edit, excerpted from our recent exhilarating December 24th
performance (Pt. 1):

Behold the second half of the exciting “extreme” excerpt of the show on December 24th
(Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJeYyZ7jG9k&feature=channelScope out outré out-takes from our December 17th serendipitous show:

Take in tantalizing tid-bits from our December 10th show. Try clicking on this:

Peer at picturesque portions picked from our December 3rd show. Click on this, or, if that doesn’t work, just cut and
paste it into your browser:

Audit choice fragments from our November 26th show on You Tube, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence. SEE Chicken
unfairly berate KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield even than usual in his meandering “answers” to
several questions.
Just go to:

See selected clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those !!?@#$%?!! cuss-words.
Go to:

For those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow in the mire of partisan politics from last year’s
endless-seeming Presidential election, check out this ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video
clip from the ADH Pirate Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete “Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance
of special guests Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi McTaint. Yowza! Go to:

See you Wednesday Night!