“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal!”
The Current Version of our Long-Running Show
NOW APPEARING at
The J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall
(Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise)
354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom)
EAST BAY ASK DR. HAL! FANS TAKE NOTE:
3 BLOCKS SOUTH OF THE POWELL ST. B.A.R.T. STATION; 2 BLOCKS SOUTH OF MISSION ON 5TH.
NEAR MISSION, BUT NOT IN THE MISSION…
WEDNESDAY, June 17th!
N I N E – T H I R T Y P.M.
THE PRE-SHOW begins around Nine.
We start as close to that time as we can, but so many of our audience tend to show up after the hour that we usually aren’t able to start until after 9:30 PM.
WE CLOSE before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to make the last train from the Powell St. BART Station,
3 blocks North of the J. R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall.
Admission $10.00 or what you can… no one turned away… AND FOR THE FIRST TIME!
OUR SHOW TO BE BROADCAST LIVE
on FCC FREE RADIO, 107.3 FM!
— San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station!
The Dr. Hal Report
Vol. X No. 6
Six of one; half a dozen of the other.
THIS WEEK’S FAMOUS ‘GUEST CHICKEN’ IN
OUR ROTATING SERIES OF HOSTS WILL BE…
Yes! The Founder of the Late, Great 12 Galaxies Night Club (voted one of the 10 Greatest Rock Clubs in America by Playboy Online) will Also Double in Brass as he Helms the Show, and Wields Absent Ringmonster Chicken John’s hefty Gavel, at Long Last!
UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
GORILLA MY DREAMS (1948)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
Gorilla My Dreams is a Looney Tunes short from the best days of Warner Brothers’ classic
animation studio, and features Warners’ most durable cartoon star, Bugs Bunny. It was
directed by Robert McKimson, who had been a protégé of Bob Clampett, our favorite
animation director. Though some of McKimson’s cartoons have been criticized for being too
talky and dependent on verbal humor, Gorilla My Dreams unfolds at a suitably manic pace.
The short features, in addition to Bugs, Mr. and Mrs.Gruesome Gorilla. Although this cartoon
was remade in 1959 as Apes of Wrath, Gorilla My Dreams is considered the superior of the
two versions. Lovingly selected by KrOB, who it must be noted has a bit of a “thing” for
HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
REVIVED PREHISTORIC BEHEMOTH WALLOWS THROUGH LOWER MANHATTAN!
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED
What’s a Rhedosaurus? A giant prehistoric creature, not technically speaking a dinosaur,
although we do use the term loosely in our advertising. This amphibious beast, capable of
swimming 22.7 nautical miles (20,000 fathoms) underwater without surfacing to breathe,
had been flash-thawed from his icy glacier prison by an experimental Arctic nuclear blast
conducted by U.S. Scientists as part of “Operation Experiment.” In KrOB’s edit, the prehistoric colossus suddenly shows up at the site of his old stamping grounds. Unfortunately for thousands of residents, this site happens to be Manhattan Island– New York City.
A transcendental epiphany of stop-motion animation by Gordon Sawyer Award-winning Ray Harryhausen, this absolutely educational and scientific presentation is offered as part of our
ongoing show. SEE the monster that preceded (and inspired) Toho’s Godzilla.
This creature isn’t, by the way, to be confused with the giant dinosaur Rhoetosaurus, though it’s
pronounced almost exactly the same. Just for the record, Rhoetosaurus longmani was an
Antipodal sauropod from the middle Jurassic period, some 180-175 million years ago. The
Rhedosaurus is quite different, a gigantic Rynchocephalian like the still-flourishing Tuatara or
Sphenodon, last living exemplar of an ancient order of reptiles. Intriguingly, Rhedosaurs, we’re
told, evolved into sauropodomorphs, though not into true sauropods, which these descendants
resemble only from evolutionary convergence. As dinosaur-like as such descendants appear,
it should be remembered that, strictly speaking, they too are not really dinosaurs, but highly evolved
Unfortunately, the foremost authority on this species, the late Dr. Thurgood Elson, perished in a
mysterious diving bell “accident” before giving paleontology an explanation of the linkage
between these taxons.
Aside from all this, remember that tonight’s caustic parable of reptilian yearning and revenge–
part of our bill at the
“Ask Dr. Hal 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal”
show this upcoming Wednesday night, June 17th
San Francisco’s BOLD NEW Variety Arts Showcase
at 354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom),
is all courtesy of the master movie archivist, KrOB—
and just one small fractal fragment of the totality
to be experienced at our unique and
well-travelled night club show;
once more we bring its unusual brand of conviviality and
information to an outré but receptive audience.
CONSULTING DR. HOWLAND OWLL
“DR.” HAL: SHODDY CHARLATAN with DUBIOUS DOCTORATE or ENLIGHTENING ENTERTAINER
effortlessly ENGAGING with ESOTERIC WISDOM?
Questions answered, concerns addressed–
a Personal Ministry. Come and see for yourself.
Bardic Episodes remain an unavoidable side effect.
Private consultations available. No refunds.
“ASK DR. HAL 2.0 — CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL!”
–BROADCAST LIVE ON FCC FREE RADIO!” FINALLY!
Yes! On S.F.’s newest Pirate radio station, FCC Free Radio, for the very first time, this episode of the show will also be a live radio broadcast heard around the world. Tune us in at 107.3 FM,
San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station,
starting at 9:30 PM.
What can one say… his vision is unique… he accepts no compromises… without him, we’re
nothing… KrOB surfs the waves of principal co-expressibility with a master’s touch, teasing the
ear and eye with an ever-new, evolving synthesis of elements drawn from the whirlpool of
popular culture. And, he’s got one hell of a sense of humor.
PETE GOLDIE SETS THE PACE– THROUGH SPACE!
Astronomer and Boffo Boffin Pete Goldie each week brings us new discoveries in Space Science
and the cosmos. A quondam NASA consultant, Dr. Goldie is particularly interested in the Cassini
Space Probe and often reports its findings. He’ll give a run-down on how images from Cassini’s
cameras have revealed something that hasn’t been seen so well before: vertical ring structures
that are attributed to the gravitational effects of a 5-mile-wide (8-kilometer-wide) moon.
Over most of their area, Saturn’s main rings are only about 30 feet (10 meters) thick, but the ring
particles, thought to be mostly water ice, can be perturbed along their edges by gravitational
interactions with moons that circle in gaps within the rings. The latest imagery focuses on a tiny
moon called Daphnis, which pushes the ring material into structures that tower as high as a mile
(1.5 kilometers). These so-called shepherd moons of the giant gas planet are thought to be responsible
for every gap in the rings– even for the rings themselves. (Though some gaps don’t seem to have an
associated moon, Pete would probably explain that they really do– but these “moonlets” haven’t been
discovered yet.) With Cassini on the job, however, their discovery may come any day– in which case
Pete will no doubt let us in on it before the official NASA release. That’s right– privileged information.
And he does it all with sardonic humor, dry wit and rhetorical flair. Some people’s favorite part of
the show. He ends by showing the latest picture– of his daughter, Daria.
NO BAR FOR NOW– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!
(JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
We expect eventually, after a few more shows, to provide a full bar. We are by no means “teetotalers”
at Ask Dr. Hal! — far from it. Yet those who have been attentive to recent headlines can understand
that there is now ongoing a wide-ranging crusade from Mayor Newsom and his apparatchiks to close
down all night spots and evening venues of “unapproved” entertainment whose sponsors have been
unequal to surmounting a labyrinthine “permit process–” and in forking over the more than hefty “fees”
the militant social-engineering “goo-goos” have imposed. To be brief, you can’t scratch your nose in
this burg without a license, for which you’d better be prepared to pay plenty. So, without any disrespect
to old John Barleycorn, for the time being, at least, just to keep from causing any troubles for our new
hosts, there won’t be any booze for sale, OK? It’s OK to drink, please understand (provided you can hold your liquor) but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of course, good questions will still
be rewarded in the traditional Ask Dr. Hal! manner– with that old standby, Fernet Branca, –the famed
“Miracle Liquor.” That’s how Paul Pot and David “Cappy” Capurro have traditionally done it– and that’s
the one way you can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal! Of course, if by some chance we were selling
drinks, we couldn’t tell you here, could we? Alcoholics, try reading between the lines with your bloodshot,
At the J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall in S.P.A.C.E. (Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise),
uber-host sterling Skot Kuiper facilitated our 2nd show there… Word is that ADH fans love th’ new & improved
venue, some even more than (blasphemy!) our home base in the currently Chicken-less Chez Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret! Better get back soon, Chick… Ack-shully, the Big Chicken may be back as early as next week, a little
birdie on our shoulder chirped (not Twittered or Tweeted) t’other day… meanwhile, we’re all having a blast at
last in a spot that’s hot… Speaking of heat, reet, komely Kelek Stevenson opened for us last Wed., but not as
fans of her routines as Flag Girl for the Xtra Action Marching Band might suppose– she didn’t dance, but …
played the banjo, America’s only native instrument, & sang along like an angel as dynamic Dave Evans sat in
on ee-lectric git-tar… Devoted Dave’s wife agreeable Adrienne was there, and kreative Kelek’s friend, dapper Dan
Acland– but for most of the krowd, this side of kombustible Kelek was a revelation… Just drop down, wontchew,
to th’ pertinent Puzzling Evidence TV videos on You Tube available here as URLs rite after this section, the ones
for June 10th, pts. 1 & 2, click on ’em & you’ll see (& hear) what we mean… Fearless Frank Chu appeared again
to warn us about the 12 Galaxies… anyone not heard yet abt. the latest sensation on-line– the Acme Chumaster?
With this baby, the invention of jocose Jef Poskanzer, you can put your own message right up there on fab
Frank’s swingin’ sign. We use it… OK, go to acme.com/chumaker & see for yourself… Linked-in Leah Garchik of
the Ess Eff Chron even spilled the beans abt. frantic Frank’s digital dupe in her col. back on the 14th of May– how
Time flize, don’t it… Now we’re settled into S.P.A.C.E. the word is out & the audiences are ambling in… radiant Robin
Coomer of Loop! Station fame was easy to spot (& easy-on-the-eyes); other beauties included resplendent Rosanna
Scimeca, creatrix of many memorable artpieces– remember the Chandelier that fell from the sky back at a certain
Desert Festival a few years ago? Or does the name Big Rig Jig sound a familiar note? Racy Rosanna made it
happen… Delectable Dawn Stott added decorativeness to th’ dramatis personae… the Mysterious Michael Peppe,
who’s our likely Mock Chicken for next wks. ADH 2.0; CWDH, was in the house taking notes… He’s in training…
Just-married (Deacon Dr. Hal performed the ceremony out at the Cliff House) husband Henry A. Lannan had a
question or 2 to pop in the hopper… so did co-operative Cody… Tantalizing Ty of Stagewerks was among us
(slumming?) & there was no mistaking agile Anat, who’s decorated many a Burning Man Fashion Show runway,
when we host it each year out in the Nevada desert dust; mercurial Mark Mcgothican, who’s oft video’d the
same, brought her in… Karaoke King princely Paul de Jong put in an appearance… he’s also been doing the
Double Dutch. Not sold? Behold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKyTfg7WBqI Zap Comix & all-round U.G.
Comics legend sterling Spain Rodriguez also gave us a try @ the new space, S.P.A.C.E. & puffin’ Paul Pot
chugged in with his dozy donative– the business end, wrapped in tightly-folded folding money, ended up on the
carpet during post-show clean-up, & yegg Yours Truly had to do a little “carpet farming;” takes us back… All
in all, ’twas a ball…
TWO WEEKS AGO
Lastweek, we didn’t run “Social Notes” in the Report as we put out our Special “Austerity” Edition (see Vol. X,
No. 5). But though we were indeed mightily ticked off at a letter attacking this journal from a certain recondite
rabbit-suit fetishist, that was only an excuse– the real reason we truncated this Treatise was that we lacked the
time to put out a full-sized ish— instead of doing that, dog-tired Dr. Hal headed up to Petrolia in Calif’s fabled Lost
Coast, riding with kurvaceous Kate Rannells & ravishing Robin Coomer to visit nonpareil Nieves & doughty Dan
Rathbun, along with jaunty Jasper Rathbun, go swimmin’ in the wild Mattole River with a few choice
acquaintances & closely observe the Beauties of Nature… It’s only fair, howe’er, to mention some of the glittering
crowd that packed the J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall when we opened there: alabaster-skinned Agnes, joyous
Jenner, beauteous barkeep from the Old Odeon Daze, bright-eye’d Bug Girl, torrid Ty McKenzie, malapert Marcia
Crosby, slinky-but-unaccountably-shy Shibumi of Studio Reflex, beauteous Barbara Fried, dazzling Dawn Stott,
charismatic Cherry Zonkowski (it was her birthday, & the Champagne flowed), devoted D.S. Black, kute Kate
Rannells, goddess of the Mattole, suave Skot Kuiper, without whom etc., peripatetic Paul Pot, fabulous Francine
Bennett– it’d been too long! –and Zegnotronic Zoli, who we definitely had in mind when we screened our cartoon
abt. Willie, the Opera-Singing Whale. Masterful Michael Peppe also made the scene, as did bruiser Byron Shirley
& patrician Perry Shirley… We couldn’t leave out marvellous Madeline “Bunnywhiskers” Boyne from this screed,
this scroll of souls, and despite his famed disdain for this publication, we noted that there in the back sat that
saturnine scapegrace, $teven Raspa himself…
WORTHY OF NOTE: FAINEANT FOLLIES: The Era of Nonchalance is at hand! If you know what that means
(or would like to), have we got a project for you! Go to Dolores Park at any time. Bring a radio. Once you’re
there, tune it to 107.9 FM. Yes, when you’re in upper Dolores Park, you can listen to a continuous forty-five-
minute specially engineered dynamic Dr. Hal broadcast (there called Commander 14), running 24-7 on FM
radio, 107.9 FM in (((stereo))). And it doesn’t stop there…