SPECIAL PREVIEW SHOW BEGINS LATEST ADH RUN

Tuesday, May 10th
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez (Army) St.
Doors 8:30 – Show 9:00 PM.     

Admission $10 [NO COMPS]      
======================================================================================

The Dr. Hal Report – Vol. XIV – No. 1   

“An advance showing… to which a selected audience is invited before public presentation
begins…”
– Online Dictionary (1994– ?)

PREVIEW SHOW HITS THE BOARDS TUESDAY, MAY 10TH
This is not only a time of economic uncertainty, threatened ecological collapse and political
instability– but also, locally, of the potential criminalization of entertainment. The Powers that Be
in San Francisco– the usual clueless local pencil-pushers, bean-counters and police groupies –are
now pushing for two-month in advance permit application for any kind of performance (said permits
to cost $2,000.00 apiece) with giant fines and prosecution for the non-compliant, metal detectors at
venue entrances, mandatory fingerprinting for audience members and a mandated cop– a flatfoot
hired out for every 50 people in an audience. Cops at shows– just what we all need.
This climate of excessive regulation certainly threatens to stifle all forms of entertainment not
sanctioned by the circles of inmost privilege. Many in the arts community now believe the issue is
even more crucial than anything to do with taco trucks in Dolores Park…

Just the same, despite all this, Chicken John and Ask Dr. Hal!  are boldly planning to bring back their
show during May. But, as the saying goes, if you blink, you might miss it.

We invite you to our Dr. Hal Show Preview this coming Tuesday night.

Tuesday nights are an experimental first for our show.

Meanwhile, here’s a review of what we do that came out not too long ago:

http://sf.funcheap.com/city-guide/dr-hal-show/

Don’t miss what all the excitement’s about. Come on in and join us at this latent upcoming iteration of the
all-new Ask Dr. Hal! Show!–

WITH KrOB KARTUNE KLASSIC:
I Love to Singa (1936)
A strict piano teaching owl is cursed with a son who “loves to singa,” but only jazz. A Laff Riot directed by
cartoon legend Tex Avery.
and…
SEE KrOB’S MONSTROUS KLIP–
ROBOT GORILLA AUDITS DINOSAUR FOOTAGE
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED
FEATURING THE EPONYMOUS RO-MAN OF (PLANET) RO-MAN
KrOB’s krazy kut-up kinema kompels kontentment!
KrOB swears to high heaven that this excerpt is up to his usual standard.We advise those
who may be overly sensitive to such material to turn away or shade their eyes. It’s “showbiz”
–pure entertainment — and it’s all happening right here– at the famed Ask Dr. Hal! Show!
Perhaps you can run– but you can’t hide from the xists and their
invincible “CALCINATOR” death-ray of doom! These
awesomely Apocalyptic actinic blasts hurl themselves
RIGHT OFF THE PROJECTION SURFACE– & INTO THE AUDIENCE!
They ‘re coming– KrOB’s masterminding the Alien Invasion!
–And get a load of those DINOSAURS!

but first…
PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES amazing
ALTERNATE OUTER SPACE  THRILLS!
Scientifically au courant, the show boasts its own Astronomer and Science Expert, Pete Goldie.

DAVID CAPURRO  CULLS CLIPS, SNAPS FROM
ONLINE IMAGESTREAM– SYNCHRONOUS ” IRRITAINMENT”
‘Puter jock rocks the box, unlocks, mocks Pandora’s Box paradox.

CHICKEN JOHN  SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! Show in a brand new location: my living room. It’s
4 guys doing improv on 4 different levels. It can be amazing.”

4 GUYS ON THE RISE:
CHICKEN JOHN

Dr. HAL ROBINS

KrOB

DAVID CAPURRO
…AND SURPRISE MYSTERY GUESTS!

Hear classic episodes on
Radio Valencia!
ADH PIRATE RADIO SHOW CONTINUES WITH WEEKLY BROADCAST!
The Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show has been running Friday nights, 9PM to Midnight on S.F.’s newest Pirate Radio sensation–
 radiovalencia.fm 87.9 FM
Live shows have been simulcast! And if you’ve missed them, they’re still on the radio!
Now, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, a beloved San Francisco Institution, will
continue as an innovative Pirate Radio Program on RadioValencia.FM
–broadcast –and podcast (keep watching these announcements) even
during the current run of the show!
Dr. Hal Live on Radio only– Friday nights, 10 PM – Midnight.
Podcasts:

http://radiovalencia.fm/recent-shows/

At home, or on at Chez Poulet,  Ask Dr. Hal!  is here– to stay!

IT’S THE SHOW YOU KNOW AND LOVE…
Gags ! Goofs ! Girls! Surprises !
–Can You endure… The KrOB Moment?
(Ask Dr. Hal! will not be responsible for injuries or lasting mental trauma) *********************
All on our Custom-Made Stage
(by Pete Goldie)
–at the innovative & avant
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
COME ONE, COME ALL!

ADH SUSPENDED UNTIL MID-MARCH

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show will be “dark” until at least the middle of March. Until we re-appear, follow us on radio on Radio Valencia 87.9 FM as before on Friday nights. However, the show now begins at 10 PM, not, as before, 8 PM. How did this come to be?

It’s all because the radio station has taken on many new programs and hosts, all refugees from ham-handed corporate-mandated changes…

CHANGES IN WORLD OF RADIO

For 33 years, KUSF in San Francisco was an essential voice on the Bay Area FM airwaves,  featuring unusually diverse, avant-garde music and a broad range of cultural programming not heard elsewhere on the dial.

But on January 18, 2011, the University of Southern California announced a deal with Entercom Communications to acquire the call sign, programming and intellectual property of longtime “classical” music outlet KDFC-FM– and began airing that station’s programming on the 90.3 FM frequency (as well as on also-acquired KNDL).

KUSF‘s longtime famously free-form and eclectic student-run format was abruptly dropped from the 90.3 FM frequency following the announcement of the station’s sale,  a $3.75 million deal that transfers KUSF’s 90.3 FM frequency to “classical” music station KDFC, just purchased by a University of Southern California-controlled nonprofit. KDFC‘s old frequency, 102.1, is being taken over by rock station KUFX.

This move is said to be part of a larger deal that still requires Federal Communications Commission approval. Please note that the organization saveKUSF is fighting to block the sale of the broadcasting rights to 90.3FM.

The university plans to make KUSF an online-only entity. Although KUSF enjoyed a mix of students and volunteers from the community, those or any other volunteers will not have a role with the on-line KUSF.

And so it is that many who had shows on KUSF have come to Radio Valencia, 87.9 FM, where they’ve been welcomed. There they can continue their programming, and Radio Valencia is all the better for it.

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ASK DR. HAL!?

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show at Chez Poulet is, for the time being, suspended, but will return in the near future after a series of relocations, readjustments and recalculations.

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show on Radio, formerly 8:00 – Midnight on Friday nights on  Radio Valencia, 87.9 FM, is still to be found on Friday nights. But it has been shortened by two hours as a result of these changes. The first two hours are now given to famed radio personality Dennis Scheyer, known on the air as Dennis the Menace, late of KUSF: at 8 PM, tune in for “Menace’s Warm-up” –a mix of new, innovative rock. At 9 PM, listen to “The Menace’s Attic.” Then at 10 PM the Ask Dr. Hal! Show begins, running for the next two hours. Please join us (And feel free to call in on the air, at (415) 875-9051).

For information concerning Radio Valencia and the Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show, go to

http://radiovalencia.fm/shows/

Keep watching this space for the latest on the return of the live night club sensation, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show!

NEWS – ADAM ALEXANDER’S “MATHEMATICALITY” NOW EXHIBITING ONLINE

Recommended:

An online show of mathematician-artist Adam Alexander‘s  digital art may now be viewed at

http://fusegallerynyc.com/Line/11alexander/alexander.html

These visual creations are expressions of mathematical ideas, not arbitrary digital fancies. For this reason, Alexander may be considered a poet of Nature, since underlying the work is the structure of ultimate reality seen in the realm of numbers. The aesthetic appeal of the pieces suggests some form of transcendence, a key to the strikingly individual personality of the cosmos.

“Mathematicality,” digital artwork by Adam Alexander launched online on Wednesday, January 19, 2011, at

www.fusegallerynyc.com.

For more information, contact Fuse Gallery at

(212) 777.7988

or

fusegall@fusegallerynyc.com. 

Friday, January 7th                            [DATE of show]
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret            [VENUE of show]
3359 Cesar Chavez (Army) St.         [LOCATION of show]
Doors 8:30 – Show 9:00 PM.            [TIME of show]

COCK-A-DOODLE DOO!
IT’S OUR FIRST-OF-THE-YEAR SHOW!
Ask Dr. Hal! Meets Year 2011…

Admission $10                                    [PRICE of show]

OUR FIFTH SHOW!
Somehow it seems as if we’ve already done more, but we didn’t do one for Christmas Week and
we did none in November as originally planned. So this is the fifth.
And forget not to read the latest review of our sure-fire show at funcheapsf:

http://sf.funcheap.com/city-guide/dr-hal-show/

Have you even been to Ask Dr. Hal! lately? Have you ever? C’mon– give us a try! Our next show
might be the one with your name on it, so to speak.

With

our Laff-Riot-ous Cartoon–
“Swing Shift Cinderella” (1945)
Another in our series of the best American cartoons!
Lovingly selected–by KrOB…

We like to start the show with a bang– and we do. Just before every performance begins, we screen a great
animated cartoon, lovingly selected by KrOB– eight minutes of the best theatrical shorts ever committed to
film. And this week, our KrOB Klassic goes even farther afield to tangle with the tale of Cinderella –in one of
the best cartoons we’ll ever show at Ask Dr. Hal! It starts with Little Red Riding Hood, but in a few seconds it
veers wildly into Avery’s wild world of wolves, babes, and one bacchanalian babushka of a “cougar” Fairy
Godmother… Friends, if you miss this one, we can’t say how long it might be before the chance of a repeat
performance. What we’re doing at the show, if you haven’t yet noticed, is working our way through the cartoon
syllabus to show our patrons just how great the American animated cartoon used to be, and we hate to
repeat ourselves too often. This is another “grown-up” cartoon from MGM’s Tex Avery, who’s been called (by
Joe Adamson, among others) the “King of Cartoons .” On deck is Swing Shift Cinderella (1945)– it’s rude,
crude, politically incorrect– and devastatingly funny. We can’t imagine how you’d have any other chance to
see this film in these times, projected large and loud– the way we show ‘em. And yes, this is, once again, one
of those wild cartoons of yore which have had trouble running up against the censors over the years. This whole
idea, that children need “protection” from these cartoons, or any other work of art, is so wrong-headed, and
oozes (originally) from the odious Reagan years and the unexamined assumption that “cartoons are for kids.”
But don’t believe it, Jack– cartoons are for all humanity, dig? The great cartoon makers never lost sight of
this. Fear not– we guarantee, as always, that no censorship will be in evidence at the Chez Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret– we’re taking pains to give you, as almost never seen these days, the whole thing, complete and
uncut. So join us this Wednesday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your
Nation’s once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular
culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.

” A classic! a masterpiece! –Especially Preston Blair’s luscious and sexy animation of Cinderella !”
–VodeoJMC63, Thadblog

Exciting Co-Hit

SEE KrOB’S MONSTROUS KLIP–
KAUTIONARY KLASSIC KrOB APOCALYPTIK EDIT:
KrOB Weaves an Entangling Web of Enveloping Horror with Newest Creation–
“Giant Spiders– Threat, or Menace? “
The Perennial Problem of AbnormallyAmplified Arachnids
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED
KrOB’s krazy kut-up kinema kompels kontentment!
Just how big does a spider need to be to be “giant?” Many people tend to freak out at the sight of
quite ordinary-sized spiders. A figure from nightmares and a phobia bred in the bone so deeply as to
be, probably, hard-wired in the minds of spider-phobes as an evolutionary psychomemory, the giant
spider endlessly resurfaces in the narrative of art as an embodiment of bioxenophobic horror.
You Tube and the Internet are full of disturbing “videos” showing helpless people being “pranked” as
the insensitive boyfriend, or sadistic, guffawing bully-buddy, drops a frantically wriggling spider on an
unsuspecting person.
What are we to make of all this? Can we comfort these poor souls by saying that the limitations on size
imposed by gravity and physics really (and fortunately) prevent spiders from being the monsters so often
encountered in various movies? That’s the stock answer, but– is it fully true?
Well, not really. You see, whatever anyone else may tell you, we’re here to affirm that even known
spiders and arthropods can, under the proper circumstances, become far larger than commonly supposed.
Moreover, the example of giant prehistoric spiders shows that Nature is quite capable of producing, when
She wants to, arachnids of even more monstrous dimensions than these.
The Paleozoic giant arthropods and Eurypterids, for example, managed to attain singularly great bulk–
one of the latter (Pterygotus macrophthalmus) is said to have attained the dimensions of “a small sports
car.”
How about today? Well, the extremely spider-like Coconut Crab, Birgis latro, which is fully terrestrial
and can crack open coconuts (or, reportedly, crunch through a broom handle) superficially does resemble
a giant spider indeed, and weighs in at 5.2 kilograms– between 11-12 pounds. That’s a big one. Though
these babies are now threatened with extinction –though what isn’t? –they’re still around.
The Brazilian Wandering Spider, Phoneutria, the largest spider officially recognized on Earth, can span
a dinner plate, is venomous and will attack humans. One once attacked Dr. Hal’s grandmother, in fact. She
got him with a broom, though. Ugh– what a mess. Remind him to tell that story at the show.
Anyway, it should suffice to say that in our next episode of Ask Dr. Hal!, KrOB’s going to be exhibiting– you
guessed it– monstrous, bulging spiders far greater in size than any limitation imposed by Science or History.
We’ll watch, from the apparent safety of our seats, as these Brobdingnagian behemoths attack horrified
human victims. Nothing’s too good for our audience at the Ask Dr. Hal! Show!
These scuttling, scurrying  Arthropodal Aggressors practically
hurl themselves RIGHT OFF THE PROJECTION SURFACE– & INTO THE AUDIENCE!
The new miracle of the Screen! More Horrible than Reality at its Worst!
They ‘re coming– with KrOB turning loose the spider Goliaths!

THEN…
PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE  THRILLS!
Our Science Segment…
ADH Science solon Pete Goldie will present more of the newest discoveries made in the endless reaches
of the unfathomable void. The learn’d Astronomer and Boffo Boffin will bring us tidings, as always, of newly
discovered aspects of the cosmos. Dr. Goldie, who is a quondam NASA consultant, has been called a delver
into mysteries of natural philosophy. A fully qualified astro-science specialist, Pete gives us astonishing
pictures of worlds never before viewed by human eyes– transmitted by intricate robots who are now busily
exploring our Outer Solar System. You’ll be spellbound as, with the assistance of these far-flung metal
myrmidons, Pete will whisk you away, to, say, the transits of Mercury or Venus, or guide you among gas
giant super-planet Saturn’s planet-sized weird and monstrous moons, where mountains may be made of ice,
volcanoes spew ammonia, and methane rains from the sky. Some say Man was never meant to see such
things. Not Pete, however­- and now you can… The well-known bon vivant actually arranged for Dr. Hal’s name,
and Chicken’s, to be shot into space aboard the Dawn Explorer on its mission to the Asteroid Belt a few years
back! We think that says it all. As scientific and educational as all-get-out.
Recently released for the holidays, looming, greenish images of the variegated surface of Saturn’s second largest
moon, Rhea, obtained by NASA’s Cassini Spacecraft, show new and dramatic views of fractures cutting through
aeons-old craters, indicating a history of tectonic rumbling. We’d bet on the massive gravity well of its parent
planet as the culprit– but, who knows? The most recent spacecraft telemetry was acquired on December 28th
from the Deep Space Network Tracking Complex at Madrid, Spain. The Cassini spacecraft, whose 3-D likeness
in miniature dangles over our ADH stage, is in an excellent state of health, we’re happy to report, with all systems
“Go”and all subsystems operating normally. Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology,
and motion of celestial objects, as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, fills us in
on the wandering space probe’s discoveries as they happen. And, with computer-jockey David Capurro’s able
assistance, he usually also illustrates his presentation with a hum-dinger of a Slide Show to display his rare
pictures of strange worlds and distant stars.  Don’t miss this challenging and unique portion of our show. A
Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

Social Notes

The nite of New Year’s Eve & time for our 4th ADH xtravaganza, as showtime rolled around, something turned
up missing– most of the audience. Nerve-wracking at the best of times, the strain was palpable as we held
that metaphorical curtain for our straggling Sybarites… Finally we had to start KrOB’s kartoon & cut to the chase–
& as so oft is the case, during & after we started getting our missing krowd by dribs & drabs… In came the beautiful
& heavenly Hoerler sisters, kurvaceous Kristina (con gusto Gustavo) & easy-on-the-eyes Eva… The East Bay’s ultra-
attractive Ulfeldt Anja, kutie-pie Kelly, marmoreal Mable Syrup, lithe Lisa Vincenti, kaptivating Kate Willett (who
now, sadly for her many fans– just ask manly Marc Roper –heads back to Chicago for the nonce), among a bevy of
bewitching beauties… speaking of which, pneumatic Pamela Angel, up from L.A. visiting doting Dr. Hal, xperienced
ADH for the 1st time that nite from the front row; spectacular & personable Pamela will be back (we hope)… ‘Twas
also a first for fine artist & quondam cartoonist pioneering Palmer Vreedees, pal o’ paparazzo Puzzling Evidence
(they enjoyed some pre-show SubGenius “shop talk”), who, as always, recorded us for prurient Posterity…
Persistent Paul Pot (a.k.a. pious Paul Cox) appeared with canine companion jolly Joppa the Mutt– all this time we
thought it was “Jabba” –but said quadruped takes his cognomen from that ancient city, south of Caesarea, also
called Jaffa, where, according to scribbler Strabo in the 1st century A.D., alluring Andromeda, see-worthy daughter
of careless starr’d Ethiop queen Cassiopeia, was bound, naked and quivering, to a rock in the sea as a human
sacrifice, to appease thrunched Thetis & the other sea-nymphs, as a snack for the fearsome local sea-dragon, before
plucky Perseus rescued her in the nick of time… Anyhoo, we were all wet about that darn dawg’s name, dog-gone it,
now here corrected… Phat Phineas T. Smokepott, a.k.a. kachinnating Ken Garr, known for & by his ultra-loud laff,
sat with his welcome contingent, the snickering Smoke Pot Guys– they find everything amusing, lucky 4 us… Dauntless Deekoo was there too… And so, as the minutes counted down to the turn-over of the year, we were
fortunate to be among so many good friends… Whoever shelled out $60 to take in the show at Bimbo’s, or expended
a small fortune to be at competing Sea of Dreams, at good old Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret for a mere 10 smackers
we were flying high… Say, wotta ’bout the Bus Trip? we hear you all plaintively asking while you’re multi-tasking…
what was that like? Sorry, all that stuff is classified, Clyde– you shouldda been there, square.. Maybe nexttime?
UPCOMING– Mark your Calendar for this Saturday the 8th when Radio Valencia.FM, our own super-sizzling
sensation uvva radio station– or izzit a podcast station? –celebrates its extended existence with a way-out wing-ding… A little bird on our shoulder cheeped that C.P.’ll be the place to be that eve… Pocket Full of Rye will play, they
say, & wotta party… all so’s the likes of us can keep on keepin’ on… It’s a fun(d)-raiser, so do your part for art here in
the City of Arts & Innovation… Just before ADH’s Friday-nite fracas, another event could be well-spent @ the old same
place: a dual booksigning & image show from 2 auteurs known to readers of this column: joltin’ John Law & jaunty Jon
Haeber, authors respectively of The Space Between & Grossinger’s: City of Refuge and Illusion. Larruping Law and
heroic Haeber will be presenting their images and signing copies of their books at 8 PM. You know where– Chez
Poulet, at 3359 Cesar Chavez St., on Thursday, January 6th, Twenty-eleven, not Twenty-ten as (they) previously reported, tsk., tsk….

SAN FRANCISCO -  After numerous setbacks, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show is now “unequivocally” set to resume on every Friday in December of 2010, our sources have learned.

SHOW STARTS DEC. 3rd– NO FOOLING

To the many who have written and made inquiries, the answer may now be relayed– December 3rd will mark the triumphant debut of the all-new live show, which brings back KrOB, Pete Goldie, Dave Capurro, Ringmonster Chicken John, Dr. Howland Owll and, for all we know, even the Smoke Pot Guys and Frank Chu.

It’s a whole new ball game, and it’s our wager that we and the Friends of Ask Dr. Hal! are all set to play. Huzza!

ADMISSION SET: ONE SAWBUCK

Doors will open at 8:00 PM; pre-show concludes at the traditional ADH! start time of Nine PM with KrOB’s Kartoon Klassic selection from our civilization’s hidden graphic heritage– then on to Chicken John’s Monomanialogue, and the rest of the show! Admission for the run has been set by Chicken John at $10.00. Chicken vows there will be no “comps–” we’ll see how that works out.

SCIENCE SNIPS, MONSTER KLIPS, BARDIC TRIPS

All the Show‘s outstanding traditions will continue to be represented during the coming iteration of live performances.

WE’LL STILL BE ON THE RADIO

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show Radio Show, currently on RadioValencia.FM at 87.9 FM on your radio dial, has been for many die-hards merely the succedaneum for the not-available live show. But to those who do prefer to listen at home, the live show will be fully broadcast on the same station for the entire duration of the show. If you can’t make it down to the spacious Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret, 3359 Cesar Chavez at South Van Ness, then tune us in and listen along!

PODCASTS OF RADIO SHOW TO DATE: A LINK

We encourage our fans and listeners to download radio episodes now available as “pod-casts:”

http://podcasts.radiovalencia.fm/ask_dr_hal/

VIEW PREVIOUS EPISODES

While away many a precious, irreplaceable hour gazing goggle-eyed at this vast archive of videos of our shows to date, courtesy of the Puzzling Evidence Channel on You Tube! Here’s the link:

http://www.youtube.com/user/PuzzlingEvidenceTV#grid/user/0DAC31E6BF7CF386

CHICKEN JOHN SUSPENDS ENTIRE NOVEMBER RUN
Despite previous announcements, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show
will not resume performances on Friday, November 5th.
Chicken has decided that renting the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret,
the space where the show plays, to employees of high-technology
companies for their events, will generate more revenue and be
more profitable than doing the show.
We at Ask Dr. Hal! still hope to start the show again on a weekly
basis, depending on circmstances, perhaps in December.
When and if this happens, look for another announcement like this
one, this time that the show will be going forward. The current plan
is still that Ask Dr. Hal! will, if it does start, take place Friday evenings.
All of us at the show regret this postponement and its inconvenience
to our friends and audience.
For the time being, the Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show broadcasts on a
weekly basis from radiovalencia.fm each Friday from 8:00 PM until
Midnight, featuring the talents of Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete Goldie and
special guests.

Dr. HAL AT NEVERWAS CAMP AT BURNING MAN:

the Hibernian Steam Empire…

The previous address given for the location of this camp has been invalidated. It seems the BRDPW “requisitioned” our old one. But I, Dr. Howland Owll, will welcome all visitors & well-wishers at 3:30 & “F.” Look for the steam-powered Victorian house on wheels. [It turned out to be 3:30 & I, Istanbul. --Ed.]

After Tuesday I will reside at Happyland, Esplanade to Athens at 6:30, until I depart, probably on Thursday.

ASK DR. HAL! RADIO SHOW PODCASTS

The ADH Radio Show has now run for five tempestuous episodes. Follow along at radiovalencia.fm - we will eventually also be doing an actual FM broadcast on 87.9 FM. Catch the show between 8 PM & Midnight, Fridays.

Episode I – Liberty Hall

Featuring Puzzling Evidence & KrOB. We take questions, give answers, & explore & enlarge the Noosphere. With Pete “Doc” Goldie & the Dr. Hal Dancers.

Episode II – Sex & Lewdness

Featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence & Pete Goldie. As promised, the show dives into an abyss of sleazy vulgarity, with larruping lashings of lubricitous lewdness. Not for children or those easily shocked.

Episode III – The Living Skeleton

Featuring  Dr. Hal, KrOB, Puzzling Evidence, Pete Goldie & Chicken John, with call-in from David Capurro. Episode concludes with a dramatization by Dr. Hal of Robert Frost’s “The Witch of Coos.”

Episode IV – Ze Potpourri

Pendant Dr. Hal voyager a desert plus horrible, KrOB et Evidence Embarrassant preparer le show, avec Pete Goldie et autres. Ils employer les CDs de embarras de richesse…

Episode V – Malt More than Milton

Returned from the hellish “Playa,” Dr. Hal combines forces with KrOB to produce a valedictory for those who survived by resisting the summoning voices of the fiendish afreets & djinn of the alkaline desert wastes of horror. “Aunt Bertha” once again is invoked, and John Milton has his innings. But the appearance of Pete Goldie with welcome beverages does more to justify the ways of “Bob” to Man.

Ask Dr. Hal! has started as a radio broadcast on the newest Pirate station in S.F., Radio Valencia.Located at the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret on Cesar Chavez, the new studio, home for the time being to ADH, was recently constructed by Chicken John and his Myrmidons.

The Ask Dr. Hal! Show now may be heard each Friday night from 9 PM to Midnight, sometimes starting as early as 8 PM. On hand (usually) are KrOB, Pete Goldie and archivist Puzzling Evidence, eponymous host of the show that bears his name early (3-5 AM!) Friday mornings on Pacifica Radio’s KPFA, 94.1 FM in Berkeley, a show now in its twenty-sixth year on the air.

About that– the on-the-air thing– Radio Valencia‘s just getting started and in point of fact is not yet actually broadcasting, so to speak. While we’re still in extended start-up mode– and starting up a radio station of any kind is no simple undertaking –we’re podcasting, not (yet) broadcasting. To hear these podcasts, go to

radiovalencia fm.

The show is, as much as we can make it, the radio version of the once and future night club act, Ask Dr. Hal! Ask your questions by calling in to our studio at

(415) 531-2029  

while the show is going on. This number is invalid at any other time.

Eventually, according to Chicken, the  live show will be back–   and when it returns to the boards at Chez Poulet, he has recently asserted, it will still be a radio show, broadcast before a live audience. Aside from this newest feature, that show will be, once again, the well-known quantity (and quality)  audiences have come to expect. See you there!   

DR. HAL TO TRAVEL TO “BURNING MAN” 

It’s That Time of Year again, and, as in other years, I, Dr. Hal, will soon be, as they say, “on the Playa.” For those who know what this means, feel free to visit– I will be with the Steampunks at the Neverwas Haul camp of Shannon and Kathy Tucker O’Hare. Look for us at around 4:30 and “D.” 

I will reside there until Tuesday after the Burn, after which time I’ll be at Happyland, 6:30 and Esplanade. After Wednesday I will return to the “Default World.”

Come see my spoken-word performance on Friday at Noon in Center Camp Cafe on the ancillary stage.

And don’t miss my main show, the People’s Fashion Show– the reason I’m at Burning Man to begin with. This is (always) held on Saturday, the Day of the Burn, 5-7 on the Main Stage of CCC.

Come to see the show– or be in it! I, Dr. Hal, welcome one and all. 

THIS THURSDAY!!
==JULY 22nd , 2010 – 8:00 PM==

…SPY EMERSON and HAL ROBINS
bring you…
making something from nothing
A Special Closing Party for an Art Show
Featuring Fabrication, Poetry & Performance
Music by Brass Tax resident, Ding Dong
…And featuring the Terpsichorean Talents of
the vivacious, voluptuous
DOTTIE LUX
Sensational star of Red Hots Burlesque
…daringly performing (with Spy Emerson) the
outrageous routine:

La Danse de ma Chatte–

from the smash hit sensation of the stage–
“Happy Forever– the Life & Death
of an Italian Cat!”

@ WAREHOUSE 416
416 26th Street, Oakland
(between Telegraph & Broadway)
admission $8 (eight dollars)

making something from nothing:
Costumes, Sets, Props & Fragments of Stories–
Created by SPY EMERSON–

with poetic recitation & interpretation by
HAL ‘Dr. Hal” ROBINS

Delicious Home-baked Chocolate Chip Cookies
will be provided for attendees– and Other
Surprises…

a FEAST FOR THE EYES, SENSES AND MIND

www.spygirlfriday.com

Ask Dr. Hal! is coming back– at least one more time.
You can see us this Friday, December 25th. That’s
right– Christmas Day! An Ask Dr. Hal! that segues
into…
our GIANT XMAS SHOW!!
**************************

YES– YOU ARE INVITED TO OUR
Annual Christmas Show–
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH -  
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========
OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as,

"The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas"]
PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
As perhaps for the last time…
Chicken John
presents
The (Possibly) FINAL GENUINE & ORIGINAL
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW                                        

NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   

San Francisco, California

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]
PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!  ( N O   K I D D I N G)
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will

be starting as close to Nine PM as we can. Despite a

long history of lagging audiences, we’ll start at Nine

anyway.

There’s just too much to cover to waste time

waiting for laggards (You know who you are)…

WE USUALLY CLOSE before Midnight, to give

our East Bay friends the chance to make it in

time to catch the last train from the 24th St.

BART Station, a few short blocks North of the

CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East

Bay train departs about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s

colorful Mission District. But this time it’s

different–  this show will run on and on,

later and later, until all energy is gone.

When it nears Midnight we’ll announce it–

but we’re not leaving…

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. 
Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) goes
out with a bang– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie’s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Spy, the Christmas Elf gives you her “special treatment!”
Dr. Hal answers your queries! We’re back– and doing the show once
more! (Will we ever learn?) It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain will fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’ll
miss it all! We hope you can spend one LAST NIGHT with us!

 The Dr. Hal Report

Vol. XII                                                                                          No. 10

“Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one
who endures that the final victory comes.”
–The Buddha: Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism

IT’S…
THE
LAST
ASK DR. HAL! OF THE YEAR!
AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WE WILL BE ABLE TO PUT ON ANOTHER…

COME TO BE ENTERTAINED & HAVE YOUR QUESTIONS
ANSWERED– STAY FOR THE PARTY!
WITH A GIANT PILE OF PRESENTS FOR ALL! BRING A PRESENT–
LEAVE WITH A PRESENT!

With…
YOUR BOASTFUL HOSTS,
CHICKEN JOHN
& Dr. HAL!
FIRST, we bring you ASK Dr. HAL! in all its savagery
and splendor!
THE LAST EMBER OF DECEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. Last time we were proud to
bring you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Horton
Hatches the Egg (1942). And now, for a definite change of pace with  what may turn out to be our
last performance for a while, KrOB has selected a charming product of the Fleischer cartoon
studio, Cobweb Hotel (1936). Yes, as you may have guessed, the theme is, once again, the Terror
of the Spider. (At our last show the KrOB Monster Klip (see below) featured an attack by an aggressive
nine-pounder. Wallowing in Spider-Phobia is, we admit, a persistent thread (heh, heh) in our show–
we like it because it is an epiphenomenon of the instinctive– e.g. a visceral aversion to spiders –not
cerebral, like, ideally, some other parts of our show. So, we figure the audience could use a little break,
getting in touch with feelings and reactions that aren’t on a rational, logical basis. And here we go again
with a Fleischer cartoon which, though not urbane, like the work of Warners animation Titans Clampett
and Avery, is still charged, like many of the studio’s other cartoons, with great iconic power. An evil,
hungry (and quite gleefully Sadistic) spider runs the Cobweb Hotel, which is visited by a pair of cute lil’
newlywed flies on their honeymoon. These two eventually catch on to a hideous, Gilles de Rais-type
set-up where screaming flies are fastened to web-spun “beds” awaiting their doom. But in the end the
little pests manage to defeat the hairy, adversarial arachnid. Naturally. Of course, this is a direct
inversion of reality– we ought to cheer on the spider, who’s our great ally against the fly, Man’s real
eternal enemy (it ain’t the spider). Yet an irrational and unquestioned tradition causes us to root for the
flies and hiss the spider, here a typically grotesque Fleischer villain. In the cartoon, we see, in addition
to the usual skillful and fluid animation, rotoscope effects (and why not? Max Fleischer invented the
rotoscope, still in use today in our high-tech film industry). There’s also a glimpse, at the beginning and
end, of their patented stereoptical process, where they got a 3-D effect like no other by actually building
miniature sets they then rotated before the camera. Animation by Dave Tendlar and Bill Sturm. Music
(the spider sings!) by Bob Royhberg and Fleischer lyricist Sammy Timberg.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. If you‘ve been habitually
missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice. So be on time! We have a huge show– you‘ll
probably leave before the (bitter) end, and we’re forced to start early. Y‘know, we‘ve carried ADH on for
many years now– and are always refining it a degree or so further, trying to ascertain what “works” and what
we have to conclude never will. The End though it may be, KrOB’s on the job, as always, brewing up new
surprises. And he‘s got a real winner this week, as the Monster Clip brings you the hideous tale of a
grotesque taxon-crossing mutant, part man and part ant, as…

KrOB, San Francisco, Presents:
ISOTOPIA UBER ALLES– Featuring MANT! THE INSECTILE ABOMINATION!

Radioactivity produces giant ants! GIANT ANTS! And that’s not all, according to this KrOB Kinematographic
Kollage Kreation. Unspeakably horrible is this eructation of perverted science– the metamorphosis of Homo
sapiens into… Homo myrmex. Yes, your traumatized eyes will behold sights which will seize your quivering brain
in gleaming, razor-sharp chitinous mandibles and send it skittering off into a necrophagous abyss of suffocating,
night-black horror, down endless subterranean corridors of wriggling, hexapodal madness. Oh, that KrOB. Now,
nearly all ants have a unique gland found on the petiole, the linking segment between thorax and abdomen (we
were classically trained) or, as they say today in Ant Science or Myrmecology, the altitrunk and gastor. Yes, yes,
insect fans– we know that the altitrunk is considered the distal component of the pre-petiolar thorax. There’s just
not space to get into that here. Anyway, we are speaking of the metapleural gland. Most importantly, this gland has
been shown to contain antibacterial and antifungal chemicals which are essential for survival in the humid, dark
nests your typical ants construct in the ground or rotting vegetation. This gland secretes an antiseptic substance,
or “gleet,” that at times acts as a repellent to attacking organisms. It is also thought that the selfsame metapleural
gland releases certain special pheromones for communication. But, you know, that’s pretty small compensation for
a guy who finds himself slowly turning into a man-ant, or mant. Hence, the drama, the pathos. You know the drill.
So, for unique, bulbous Big Bug thrills, get a load of what the indefatigable KrOB‘s prepared for this week! Right–
yet another in a series of unforgettable KrOB “Edits!” Scientific! Educational! View it all on our Giant Screen.
Come one, come all…  

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

   http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE FRISSONS!
Our Science Segment…

Did you know top N.A.S.A. scientists often attend the show? It’s true! Our show begins
with an actual narrated presentation of the latest astronomical findings. To participate in
the receiving of new scientific knowledge is rightly considered a privilege, as we see it, by
those unencumbered with an excess of credulity, superstition and fanaticism in their inner
makeup, those who understand that the self is strengthened and renewed by its ongoing
transformation by means of the introduction and accommodation of new information and
ideas, i.e. Learning. And so it is that Pete Goldie, our own Boffo Boffin, though eternally
baited by Chicken, illumes and educates with his unrivaled Cosmic Revelations, his heroic
hebdomadal presentation for your eyes and minds. A quondam NASA consultant, real
“Science Superhero” Dr. Goldie, a contemporary Prometheus (bound to suffer the vulturine
gnawings and pangs of Chicken‘s heckling) who brings unworthy humanity the sacred fire
of Celestial truth, is, paradoxically, a down-to-earth kind of guy. He can tell you everything
about the tiles on the Space Shuttle– and on your bathroom floor! He‘s also a raconteur,
artificer and craftsman, and a delver into mysteries of natural philosophy. He arranged for
Chicken‘s name (and ours) to be shot into space aboard the Dawn Explorer on its mission to
the Asteroid Belt! We think that says it all. The well-known bon vivant and astro-science
specialist gives us astonishing pictures from worlds never before viewed by human eyes–
transmitted by robots who are even now, right this minute, busily exploring Outer Space.
You‘ll be spellbound as, with their assistance, Pete will set before your bulging baby blues,
burnt-sienna browns or gemstone greens, rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System. And, via computer-jockey David Capurro‘s abilities (see below) he usually also neatly
illustrates his presentation with those rare pictures. A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

CAPPY COMBS CYBERSPACE–
TO SLAY ‘EM WITH SIGHT-GAGS!
The Visual Dimension…

Our very own dementedly devoted David Capurro, in his alternate identity as Yo-Yo Pro, has performed in
multiple venues, yo-yo-ing for astonished audiences.Now, yet another time, he returns to Ask Dr. Hal! As of
old, he vivaciously vivifies our Show with a kind of visual, Virtual yo-yo-ing: even as Dr. Hal is speaking,
David’s dexterous digits flash across his keyboard– and, Wow! A confirming (or at least, ideally, congruent)
image appears on the screen! (Usually, filthy, but that’s showbiz…)

THEN, WHEN ALL THIS STUFF IS OVER WITH,
WE SLIDE RIGHT INTO…
OUR ONCE-A-YEAR XMAS X-STRAVAGANZA!
Our longtime audience knows the drill. Bring a wrapped present– leave with a different, or several
different presents! The luck of the draw! Interact with Dr. Hal, Chicken, Spy the Xmas Elf (R-rated)
and enjoy, or endure the ultimate KrOB Moment– that goes on all night long! It’s an orgy of excess!
An endurance fest! A personal test! Be our guest!

ONGOING SHOWS

“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which will happen in about a month, in addition to another appearance
by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and a one-of-a-kind collaboration with legendary Comic Book Artist Spain Rodriguez, Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these.

Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show.

The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well

as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

THE LAST HOLIDAY HELPING OF THOSE AMAZING,
AMUSING… PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals
and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pedro arrives just in time for America’s Angle, the Space Science Report, but then the “InnerNet” breaks–
 and Pete Goldie (impersonating FDR) drops into a gamma ray rut. Anyone care for a FREE Venom
Mango-flavored Energy Drink? December 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wea5ETsJEtY&feature=channel

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you one more time at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 25th!
…AND AFTER THAT, WHAT WILL HAPPEN NO ONE KNOWS…

Chicken John
presents
====== THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL =========
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW  
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret 
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)  
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS !
FRIDAY, December 11th!      

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING

AT  NINE P.M. SHARP!  
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past– WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our EastBay friends the chance to make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

[Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic

Ask Dr. Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie‘s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Dr. Hal answers your queries! We‘re back– and doing
the show once more! It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain might fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you‘ll
miss it all!
Admission –      

$10.00     

(TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)  

                   
[Our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

         The Dr. Hal Report        
Vol. XII                                                                                                                         No. 9

How like a Winter hath mine Absence been
From thee, the Pleasure of the fleeting Year!
What Freezings have I felt, what dark Days seen,
What old December‘s bareness everywhere!”
                                                                            --Shakespeare 

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

A DECEMBER YOU’LL REMEMBER!

–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Bacall
to Arms (1946). Well, Clampett also teamed up with Dr. Seuss to produce this week’s cartoon–
Horton Hatches the Egg (1942). Yes, that Horton. In addition to his heroic advocacy for Whoville,
the titular pachyderm also hatched an egg, in Clampett’s engaging version of the Seuss book.
Clampett adds his own sardonic touches. At one point, as the ship transporting the tree-sitting
elephant is making its way across the Atlantic, a fish with the face and voice of Peter Lorre sticks
his head out of the water, takes in the spectacle and languidly exclaims, “Now I‘ve seen everything”
and whips out a gun and blasts his brains out. For some reason, they censor this part when they
show it. Actually, lately they don’t even show it. But KrOB does, at Ask Dr. Hal! For those who can
truly appreciate it, this cartoon is a beautiful and artistic creation. And we don’t censor anything.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your
Nation’s once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished
popular culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.
So be on time! If you‘re habitually missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice & not getting
full equity on your admission price…
Do we really have to explain who Peter Lorre was?

Also with…
KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
ALONG CAME… A SPIDER!

Giant Spiders often have enlivened our shows in the past– now KrOB unveils a pulse-pounding
encounter with another outsized arachnid. Although Spiders frighten most people, being as they
are a living embodiment of elements of unstifled Nature which force us to confront her most
sinister potentialities, it should be said in all fairness that these creatures, particularly the giant kind,
are really rather fragile. Once one can get past the understandable loathing and cosmic horror
they tend to inspire, once deprived of the element of surprise, most of these arthropodal prodigies
can be disposed of with only moderate effort. The oft-feared tarantula cannot withstand even the
slightest jar which breaks the seals at the leg joints and kills the creature by allowing the lymph,
spider circulatory fluid, to leak out. This is also true of the far more fearsome and larger Brazilian
Wandering Spider, Phoneutria nigriventer. This Goliath of spiders, highly venomous and fiercely
aggressive, will pursue and attack humans, but has proven to be equally vulnerable (our late
grandmother once killed one, in 1926, with a broom). The spider in KrOB’s cautionary excerpt,
only slightly but significantly larger than today’s known types of Phoneutria, appears to be perhaps
some kind of an enlarged Latrodectus mactans, a spider notorious for its neurotoxic venom even
when found at its regular size. But in Earth’s prehistoric past, huge spiders did flourish in the
Paleozoic, far bulkier than even the eight-legged colossus KrOB will gleefully exhibit. Scientific!
Educational! It’s a fair bet that no other night club show, on Cesar Chavez Street in San Francisco
or anywhere else, presents anything like this as a diversion for its audience. Not for children or
those easily shocked.
Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE THRILLS!
Our Science Segment…  

Prevailing theory suggests that cosmic rays are accelerated to energies of billions to even trillions
of electron volts by the expanding shock waves generated when massive stars explode. Hear ADH
Science Solon Pete Goldie expound on gamma ray bursts and how cosmic rays with even higher
energies are thought to be powered by supermassive black holes at the centers of galaxies (our own
galaxy, the Milky Way, has one of these). Kinks in a galaxy’s magnetic field keep cosmic ray particles
bouncing back and forth between the advancing shock wave and the immediately anterior region–
revving them up, as it were, to these high energy levels. Who knows? Perhaps gamma-ray emissions
from starburst galaxies peak at the energy generated when a certain subatomic particle known as a
neutral pion decays into two gamma rays. These galactic pions can be generated only by cosmic-ray
collisions. Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology, and motion of celestial
objects, as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, also isn’t beyond a nod
to high-energy physics to make his point. And, with computer-jockey David Capurro‘s assistance (see
below) he usually also illustrates his presentation with rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System. A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

COMPUTER FREEBOOTER GETS CUTER!
The Visual Dimension… 

In a cloud of swirling incense, David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro, a mainstay of our show for lo these
many years, provides a running visual commentary to all that is said and done as the show goes
on. It works like this: we mention a topic, David operates his keyboard, and almost instantly there’s
a related image up on the screen. I.J. (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity Yo-Yo
Pro, one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master of Yo-Yo Fu extraordinaire, is a multi-talented,
accomplished baker and a competent guitarist. A cool customer– but he really lives for but one
purpose. His main delight in this life is to ask an anonymous question at Ask Dr. Hal! and get host
Chicken, unknowingly, to pour him a free shot of Fernet. And in this, strangely enough, he always
succeeds. He sure can do it. So he does it. That settles it.

NEWS - 

FRANK CHU TAKES EXTENDED SABBATICAL

Famed Street Prophet Frank Chu has dropped out of Ask Dr. Hal! for the time being, and we see
no further purpose in continuing to advertise his presence at our show. Frank and Ask Dr. Hal! go
back a long way, but he hasn’t been making his scheduled appearances with us for the past ten
weeks– we hear he has some sort of “trouble with Fridays” –so we at Ask Dr. Hal! have reluctantly
acquiesced to his need to go his merry way. It seems that also our well-known doorman Robert
Levy, who ran the 12 Galaxies Night Club back in the day, is also too busy for us in these hard times.
So, we‘re replacing removed Robert with our new doorkeeper– Jimmy! (See below.)

PRESENTING JIMMY– OUR NEWEST ADH DOORMAN!

He’s tall and lanky, easy-going and affable– unless someone tries to get in without paying the freight.
Meet Jimmy, the newest sensational discovery at Ask Dr. Hal!, the world’s foremost question-and-
answer night club show. Jimmy will take your admission payment and direct you to your seat, making
ingress to the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret virtually anxiety-free. And… girls– we hear he‘s “available!”
‘Nuff said.

ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at

the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page).

The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB.

Keep watching this space for our announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books,

The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

–And don’t forget! We’re counting down to our

Megalo-Annual Christmas Show–

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH -
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========

OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as, "The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas"]

PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
****** (Keep watching this space for developing details!) *****

SOCIAL NOTES

Friday nite our crowd gotta loada chortlin’ Chicken John’s new “stage modifications–” get this: a special
Box Seat for the stupefied Smoke Pot Guys! That’s krusty Ken Karefree & philosophical Phineas T. Smokepott,
who now have their own VIP (Very Intoxicated Patrons) area– compleat w/ bags o’chips, couch & blaring, garish
blacklite poster. How’s that for service? Meanwhile, former doorman ramblin’ Robert Levy has rambled on, so we
now have joltin” Jimmy, our current major-domo of the threshold. He’s the towering ticket-taker and cash catcher
you’ll find hovering by our portals, mortals… Y’know, we dunno whether weather conditions‘ll downsize our upcoming
audience… The weather bureau boys & gals say we’re in for some striding storms… lashings of rain… great. Just
what this show needs. Well, why not ride out the blast inside the comfy confines of the good, old Chez Poulet Gallery
Cabaret, eh? Why not? Oh, what we go through… Well, good weather brought out dashing Davy, granite-jawed Gooby,
lounge-lizard Lloyd Mongoloid of Mongoloid & Cookie Mongoloid fame, mild-mannered Miles who was miles of
smiles, mummenschanzer Moses Grubb, sensational Sean Kelly, sensual Sadie (a Canine American) & quondam
fellow performer with delighted Dr. Hal, lovely Linda Robertson… We thought we caught a glimpse of jewel-like Jenner,
one-time Odeon bartender & now writer of one of the few blogs really worth your attention (at http://lastcallsf.com/
on the Interweb)… but she, whoever, was in the back… couldn’t tell… hard to squint thru those brite lites… Jasmine-
fresh Jean quizzed & queried us– abt. invisible upchuck, but careening Cappy’s antics on the computer created a
distraction on the screen whose uproar scrambled the reception of the answer… betterluck nextime… Then definitely
determined Dini wanted to know if fire always goes with smoke…  Deconstructing aphorisms, that’s what we so often end
up doing…Bus Trip & Burner Vet observable Obo Martin attended, wrapped in a blanket it seemed, unless memory plays
us false… Digital David Capurro‘s station was incensed, Fernet by cheeky Chicken was dispensed… And so it was. On
the way out we chatted with kurvaceous Kate Willett & mainstay Marc Roper… Another show did all befall, so thanx
to one & thanx to all…And speaking of thanks, ranks, patient Puzzling Evidence could use some– you can bet the
mortgage he was at the Show again, shooting us more for those You Tube entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite,
to appear beneath this site… like these most recent ones! Keep going– just drop your eyes down… on down to these…

…AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pete Goldie performs as only he can, as we launch ADH November 27th (Pt. 1):

The Viking Code ends the Show, thanks be to Wotan…Gods, History and Church
forever….or until YouTube gives up the ghost. The last of November 20th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/BUr2XFfl4s0 

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]     

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 11th!