FINAL Ask Dr. Hal! NOT TUESDAY but WEDNESDAY, MAY 25th

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

 The Dr. Hal Report
Vol.
XIV                                                                                                                                                                                          No. 3

“The very last Dr. Hal show is always my favorite, and the visuals of a show by an
underground comics artist is a key component, so just listening on the radio is
not enough.”
–Eric Diesel (Personal communication)

“A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, When the age is in the wit is out.”

–William Shakespeare (baptized 26 April, 1564; died 23 April, 1616)
Much Ado about Nothing. ACT III Scene 5

Friends, Ladies and Gentlemen, and fellow-travelers, Ask Dr. Hal! is doing one last show.
And– with apologies for any confusion, we are moving the date to Wednesday night.
As in former days, it will happen– one final time –mid-week once again. On…
Wednesday, May 25th…
But… why?
Well, you see, Showman Chicken John made a financially-prompted decision– to rent out the house on Tues., May 24th to the well-heeled master cuisinier Chef Fleur-de-lis of SF’s ultra-trendique eatery Le Restaurant Grasse-Chère-Coûteuse.
So, for one more time, join us Wednesday night at Chez Poulet for the ever-evolving Ask Dr. Hal! show!

FIRST
KrOB’S KR-R-R-A-A-AZY KARTOON!
“KITTY CORNERED” (1946)
We like to start the show with a bang– and we do. Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon, lovingly selected by KrOB– eight minutes of the best theatrical  shorts ever committed to film This last week, we’re back with Warner Bros. Cartoons and our all-time favorite cartoon director, the late Bob Clampett, whom Dr. Hal and his sister Martha were privileged to know personally. And this is a stand-out, a great cartoon among a track record of great cartoons. It might even be Clampett’s best work, and that’s saying a lot. It’s Kitty Cornered (1946) featuring Porky Pig vs. an army of fractious cats, including, for the first time ever in a Looney Tunes cartoon, Sylvester the cat. It’s the only time Sylvester ever appeared in a Clampett-directed cartoon.
Kitty Kornered is Clampett’s final cartoon starring his longtime star Porky Pig (if you don’t count the cameo in Clampett’s next cartoon, The Great Piggy Bank Robbery where Porky appears for a few seconds as a (poorly) disguised trolley driver).
Kitty Kornered’s an astonishing little film, like all Clampett’s work. It moves like lightning and is packed with ten times as many gags, on all different levels, as were found in most Warner Bros. cartoons.
And, wouldn’t you know it  (is there a pattern emerging here?)– like so many of the cartoons KrOB’s been showing, the censors have cut it in the past. What could those infernal Nervous Nellies find censorable in Kitty Cornered? Incredibly, it’s a scene where, after Porky tries to throw the cats out but they throw him out,
the cats drink alcohol, read comics, and smoke cigars –ooh, civilization would just fall if that were allowed to be shown– before Porky bursts in and… well, we won’t give any more away.
But we guarantee, as always, that no censorship will be in evidence at the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret– we’re taking pains to give you, as almost never seen these days, the whole thing, complete and uncut.
So join us this Wednesday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. Which is to say:
If you don’t come early enough you may miss Krob’s Kartune.

THEN
PETE GOLDIE’S WONDER-WORLD OF SCIENCE:
SPACE SCIENCE REPORT

ADH Science solon Pete Goldie will present more of the newest discoveries made in the endless
reaches of the unfathomable void. The Learn’d Astronomer and Boffo Boffin will bring us tidings, as
always, of newly discovered aspects of the cosmos.
Perhaps– who knows? –he will dilate upon recent revelations concerning so-called free-range planets!
Say, remember where Ming the Merciless (Flash Gordon’s implacable enemy) hung his hat? It was the Planet Mongo. A planet that entered our Solar System from Deep Space, beyond the heliopause. Mere fiction, you say? What about the scenario in the movie When Worlds Collide?
Remember that one? Two wandering planets, at first only noted by astronomers with the best
equipment, come into the System, heading for the Sun. By the end of the picture, one of them has
squarely hit– and obliterated –the Earth. Nonsense, you say? Science-Fiction clap-trap? Not so
fast!
For, as Pete just might describe, a team of astronomers has revealed that hundreds of billions of
“rogue” planets have escaped from their solar systems and are indeed roving freely in space,
secluded and far from any host star.
The researchers led by Professor Dr.Takahiro Sumi of Osaka University in Japan, using New
Zealand-based Mount John University Observatory’s 5.9-foot telescope, have reported that they
observed 10 Jupiter-sized planets, each around 10,000 to 20,000 light-years away from Earth.
There were no stars within a range of a billion miles or so of those planets. Researchers concluded
that our Milky Way Galaxy is littered with free-range planets of all sizes, wandering silently and
desolately in the spaces between the stars…
It is suggested that the orphan planets somehow escaped from their formative solar systems soon after
they condensed from the interstellar dust that also created their long-abandoned solar parents.
So check out Pete’s presentation. As scientific and educational as all-get-out.
Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology, and motion of celestial objects,
as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, fills us in with intricate detail,
even while Chicken, totally uninterested, writhes in ill-concealed impatience.
The original of the Cassini spacecraft, whose 3-D likeness in miniature, constructed by avid aviation
and space enthusiast “Paul Pot,” dangles over our ADH stage, continues its mission to the outer planets in an excellent state of health, we’re happy to report, with all systems “Go” –and all
subsystems operating normally.
And, with computer-jockey David Capurro’s able assistance, Pete‘ll illustrate his presentation– with
a hum-dinger of a Slide Show to display his rare pictures of strange worlds and distant suns.
And in addition to all of this, he still takes pains in his presentation to “razz” Chicken John.
Don’t miss this challenging and unique portion of our show.
A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

ALSO FEATURING
KrOB’S KREEPY KINEMA MONSTROUS MOVIE
“MONSTER OCTOPUS STRIKES FROM THE ABYSS”

GIANT CEPHALOPOD RISES FROM ABYSSAL SUBMARINE CREVASSE
In rip-roaring stop-motion animation– of course!
KrOB’s krafted this klip from the Czech film classic Vynález zkázy (1959), which explores themes
tangental but still somewhat similar to those in Ukradená vzducholo (or The Stolen Airship) –creations
both of Karel Zeman, Czech animator and filmmaker. He is considered the co-founder of the Czech
animated film.  Zeman used hand-made sets painted in the style of Victorian illustrations (mainly
engravings by Gustave Doré), and then had live actors wandering through animated settings. The great
success of these science fiction and fantasy features is a tribute to Zeman’s sense of humor and
storytelling abilities, as well as his technique and originality.
So– the octopus strikes!  Zeman’s films possess a sophisticated wit and visual style that enchants– even
in the portrayal of this bulbous, sucker-studded primordial horror.
Octopuses are in fact venomous– the bite of some small Pacific species is instantly fatal. But once this
deep-sea Titan grasps you in its undulating, ropy arms, the venom problem is not really centrally
significant any more, as we shall see.
And we’ll throw in at this point that giant octopuses do indeed exist in the oozy darkness of the benthic
wilderness.
Symbologists tell us that the octopus generally signifies the unconscious mind– arms radiating from a
centrally located head.
KrOB’S MONSTER RALLY– AN ULTIMATELY TERRIFYING INDICTMENT OF
HUMANITY ITSELF!
Heh, heh, heh…

SOCIAL NOTES

Rain, rain… we were sure it would wash away any chance we could get good attendance– but, despite
the prevailing meteorological inclemency our attendees found their way to attend just the same… so our
Grand Opening pitch went off with hardly a hitch… now comes the Grand Closing, our last production 
in this briefest of cycles. A run really not long enough? Ooh! We think so, too… So forward all of those
complaints, gripes & objections to cheerful Chicken John, Showman at
chicken@chickenjohn.com
–& see where that gets you… We’ll (probably) be back after (too) many months more… Meanwhile, come
on in
for this, our last Barbaric Yawp– we offer our refined brand of entertainment for a recondite few–
izzat you? It won’t be raining this time, if last time that’s why we missed noting your phiz in the peanut
gallery… Now, though rain’s no longer a drain on our reign, another woolly problem stands athwart our course— & scheduling’s the source… The whole shebang leapfrogs to Wednesday , just after we got ’em
all used to a weekly Tuesday night flight. That’s because conniving Chicken‘s going to rent out the house
on Tues., May 24th to the well-heeled master cuisinier Chef Fleur-de-Lis from SF’s latest “hip” trendique eatery Le Restaurant Grasse-Chere-Couteuse, who made Chicken a (financial) offer he couldn’t refuse…

As we pointed out in this space last week, after selling us all out, he’ll cry for the
show– all the way to the bank. Ach, du Lieber & Stoller… Still, we have one final opportunity to
deliver the goods with full immunity. That’s this Wednesday, May 25th. Join us then again for one
more
final fruitful interval… Be a part of it as we make history at the old Chez Poulet… So– last wk.,
who-all was there? Quite a variety of S.F.’s boho high sassiety. Among others, f’rinstance, marmoreal
Mable Syrup, who’s a perpetually indulgent Sister to our band of brothers, enchanting Emma Henley who
faced the dread KrOB Moment at first hand, lovely Leslie whom we remember so fetchingly (& toplessly)
adorned the Burning Man Opera a few seasons back, jubilant Jeanette and juniper-fresh Julie Holabird,
lovely, long-term, long-stemmed ADH devotee, so welcome to see… Photog Puzzling Evidence documented the doings for
You Tube, as always– you might want to scroll down and click on some of those, we suppose… Another
face
from the past joined the cast– gregarious Gabe, our Sound Man from the the haze of the late, great 12
Galaxies
days, when our host with the most was redoubtable Robert Levy… Enjoy it, gadabout Gabe? Say,
we could use another one of those– a Sound Man, we mean… A Sound Man is Hard to Find, eh? Ahem!
Attention!
We’re looking for a Lost Passport— seen it, sport? It belongs to anxious Amas Valeika… Kingly
Ken laid on his distinctive laff –we also know him as philosophical Phineas T. Smokepott, & wotta laff he’s
got… Radio Valencia performance keystone Kiko A., whom you know as Nose Hair Lint Gland’s demented
Dr. Fiasco, was pleasantly present, especially accompanied by appealingly jocund Jenn Alexander, his
Better Half– we were pleased to have wedded them, in a ceremony earlier this year– did you hear? Try to
keep up… Manly Mongoloid, a.k.a. leonine Lloyd Mongoloid of supergroup Cookie Mongoloid, was among
us as well… At the door, steely-eyed Skippy was in charge of vetting the incoming crowd and collecting the
admission, an ADH tradition… We also noted jocose Joe, remarkable Rob Srinivasan, a mathematically
au courant savant, timely Timothy, & curvaceous Catalina Eckhardt… Cheerful Chicken, meanwhile, tried
valiantly to vend, sell, & even absolutely give away numerous packages, left over from his recent Dolores
Park
agitprop session, of plastic fake vomit… Said artificial upchuck brings to mind that we also hosted
old-timer Oops, (how’s that for a segue, folks?) not in our gaze since the old Odeon daze, who’s back– with
an incomprehensible tale of intrigue, kidnapping and legal complication, one of the strangest in Creation…
but c’mon, obliging Oops kept us afloat with a tempting tip of a C-note in the question hopper, challenging
us to top the topper. No kidding, you never know who’ll show up up at the show, so… go! Your last
chance!
May we have this dance?

LETTERS
Dear Dr. Hal,
I
have received email threats from the President of the Dominion of Melchizedek that
my hands will be cut off, so I cannot post on the Internet. I have forwarded these to the federal prosecutor
investigating P_______ G_____ and R_____ R____, and just after I got the emails, I recieved a call to meet with
Secret Service Agent “N__” of the Electronic Crimes Unit just after I got the electronic mail physical threat.
 If you need proof of this, please let me know.
Yours, E. Diesel

SHOWS – UPCOMING
DARK ROOM BENEFIT FOR SPY EMERSON – MAY 28th
Dark Room Theatre, 2263 Mission St., San Francisco – 8:00 PM
Our friend, fine artist Spy Emerson, is fighting an unscrupulous and ruinously expensive legal attack
by the father of her six-year-old son Lucky and his Midwest-based family acting in concert.
Those who closely know Spy are aware she is an exemplary mother, now overwhelmed by a malicious,
unexpected and fully financed, secretly well-planned, ruthless maneuver. We are in Spy’s corner on this one.
Any contribution is welcome to help oppose the financial/legal tsunami facing this brave and determined
woman.
Local performers, including Ask Dr. Hal!’s own Dr. Hal are to appear in the line-up of an evening variety show at San Francisco’s Dark Room Theatre, 2263 Mission St.  Show time will be 8:00 PM.
A unique roster of contributing talents will make it a night to remember.
Eyenoise Projections by KrOB.
Look for the three Doggie Diner Heads outside the theater, where hot dogs will be grilled and sold, before and during the performance.
Watch this space for developing details, or go to darkroomsf.com

Call (415) 401-7987.

Some of Our Favorite Questions
“Dr. Hal, is there a ready-made substitute for blood plasma?
Why, yes. If you happen to be on a tropical island, remember that the liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute.
“Dr. Hal, is there anything that kills more people than plane crashes every year?”
Lots of things, if we go world-wide. Donkeys, for example. I’m not kidding– don’t ever stand behind one.
“What are the three biggest brand names on Earth? ”
Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser, in that order.
“Is there any sound that doesn’t echo?”
Yes, since you ask, the quack of a duck. No one knows why.
“How come every time they show those floods on TV they always show a cow on
some roof?”
Well, cows can easily be persuaded to look after their own best interests, even by perfidious humans. The major problem comes along after the flood. You see, a cow will let you lead her upstairs, but not downstairs.
“Hey, Dr. Hal, are there any creatures who can breathe through their anuses?”
The answer– sigh… is yes. The talented animal in question: the common mud-turtle. And you can’t.

If you have a question for me, I, Dr. Howland Owll, have an answer for you! 

Dr. HAL ON RADIO:
Hear classic episodes on Radio Valencia!
ADH PIRATE RADIO SHOW CONTINUES WITH WEEKLY BROADCAST!
The Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show has been running Friday nights 9PM to Midnight on S.F.’s newest Pirate Radio sensation–
 radiovalencia.fm 87.9 FM
Live shows have been simulcast! And if you’ve missed them, they’re still on the radio!
Now, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, a beloved San Francisco Institution, also
continues as an innovative Pirate Radio Program on RadioValencia.FM
broadcast –and podcast (keep watching these announcements) even
during the current run
of the show!
Dr. Hal Live on Radio– Friday nights, 10 PM – Midnight.
Podcasts:
http://radiovalencia.fm/recent-shows/

–at the innovative & avant
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
COME ONE , COME ALL !
Watch Ask Dr. Hal! Shows– the very latest, and those of days gone by!
Visit the Puzzling Evidence Channel on You Tube! Just type in “search words” Ask Dr. Hal!

ASK DR. HAL! OPENING SHOW– Tuesday, May 17th!

Monday, May 16th, 2011

             The Dr. Hal Report    
Vol.XIV                                             No. 2

Of a good beginning cometh a good end.”
John Heywood (1497-1580)
Proverbes, Part I, Chapt.10

“Very impressed with the wonderful, whimsical web woven by the team of artisans
at the Chicken Shack!  Just a fantastic underground world of visual, and aural
stimulus accented by a nice tub of booze….”
Radio Valencia’s Quarterman Jack, on last Tuesday’s ADH Preview Show

ADH PREPARES FOR SEASON OPENER
FIRST SHOW HITS THE BOARDS TUESDAY, MAY 17TH

MAY 10TH’S PREVIEW NIGHT SETS STAGE FOR MONTH’S LIMITED RUN
Ladies and Gentlemen, this season of Ask Dr. Hal! is off and running. Our opener on the
17th will bring back all the elements which have defined us in the past– with a few new
wrinkles.
Last Tuesday’s Prevue showed that this new night works for our show. Neither mid-week, as when
it was, some time ago, on Wednesdays, nor end-of week, as when we ran it on Fridays,
Saturdays or Sundays, the new date– still experimental– could be seen as a mini-oasis
of relief from initial weekly workaday stress. After all, having faced Monday, you ‘re “over
the hump” –and it’s all downhill from there!
Celebrate Tuesday night at Chez Poulet— drop in for the Ask Dr. Hal! show!
(NOTE: Scheduling changes may occur for future shows .)

WE START EARLIER.
It’s true– unlike previous iterations where a lallygagging audience compelled us to wait
while they straggled in– oh, we knew they would get here eventually, but so would
Christmas –these days, we ‘ve “bitten the bullet” and started up far closer to our declared
start-time of 9:00 PM. Several attendees found that out at our Prevue Show– the hard way.
They missed KrOB ‘s Kartoon– and the whole beginning.
And c’mon– when we hold the (metaphorical) curtain, we end up imposing on those who
did show up at the right time, making them sit and wait while we wait– for late-nicks.
Isn’t it better that we use the time– for yet more solid, full-blooded Ask Dr. Hal! Show?
FIRST on the bill:
KrOB’S KR-R-R-A-A-AZY KARTOON!
“PATIENT PORKY” (1940)
KrOB seems to be indulging his predilection for selecting older cartoons from the Thirties
and early Forties for this cycle. But why not? All should be shown; few ever are.
Be prepared, however, for a bizarre, alien level of humor not congruent with the popular
ethos, and for a slower rhythm and pace overall than the fast-moving, more advanced
cartoons Warners put out in the late Forties. And also be prepared for an unfortunate
race caricature, the farthest thing from political correctness, briefly appearing in the film.
We were graced to know Bob Clampett— this cartoon’s director –personally for a little
while, and there wasn’t a racist bone in his body. But he did derive humor from the
stereotype, as he mined everything in sight for gags.
Yes, Clampett, unlike some other animation directors at Warners, was never mean-spirited.
We will therefore wince as we show this film in its entirety. Music: Carl Stalling. Voices:
Mel Blanc.
And, bye the bye, there are other shocking, disturbing things in this little short– depending,
as in all things, on where you stand.
One thing, however, is a certainty:
If you don’t come early enough you may miss Krob’s Kartune.

THEN:
PETE GOLDIE’S WONDER-WORLD OF SCIENCE:
SPACE SCIENCE REPORT
ADH Science solon Pete Goldie will present more of the newest discoveries made in the endless
reaches of the unfathomable void. The Learn’d Astronomer and Boffo Boffin will bring us tidings, as
always, of newly discovered aspects of the cosmos.
Perhaps– who knows? –he will dilate upon recent revelations concerning Io, the most volcanically
active body in our Solar System. This remote world contains an underground ocean of magma,
say scientists who cracked a long-standing puzzle posed by NASA’s defunct Galileo Probe, which
orbited giant Jupiter and ogled his many moons from 1995 to 2003.
Some say Man was never meant to see such things. Not Pete, however­- and now you can! We
show ’em– each time!
The well-known bon vivant actually arranged for Dr. Hal’s name, and Chicken’s, to be shot into
space aboard the Dawn Explorer on its mission out to the Asteroid Belt, a few years back! We think
that says it all.
As scientific and educational as all-get-out.
The Cassini spacecraft, whose 3-D likeness in miniature dangles over our ADH stage, is in an
excellent state of health, we’re happy to report, with all systems “Go”and all subsystems operating
normally.
Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology, and motion of celestial objects,
as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, fills us in with intricate detail
on the wandering space probe’s discoveries as they happen.
And, with computer-jockey David Capurro’s able assistance, he’ll illustrate his presentation– with a
hum-dinger of a Slide Show to display his rare pictures of strange worlds and distant stars.
And in addition to all of this, he still takes pains in his presentation to “razz” Chicken John.
Don’t miss this challenging and unique portion of our show.
A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

ALSO FEATURING:
KrOB’S KREEPY KINEMA MONSTROUS MOVIE–
“THE THRUST EXPEDITION VS. THE LAST DINOSAUR”
ASSEMBLED FROM FOOTAGE SHOT IN THE UNFORTUNATE 1970’S
1977, actually. The movie this all comes from “positively reeks of the polyester Seventies with its
bell-bottoms, long hair and eyeglasses the size of picture windows.” –Mark F. Berry, The Dinosaur
Filmography.
Not only that, but it’s a co-production of Rankin-Bass and Tsuburaya Productions.

That’s Tsuburaya as in Toho studios ( not Eiji Tsuburaya but close, we suspect).Yep, the East-West
fusion of cheesy dinosaur-suit monster effects pictures.
Nothing to celebrate. Kind of the worst of both worlds. Why do we do this? Because we can,
bwa-ha-ha-haa!
Not enough space here to explain the SubGenius concept of Bulldada.
But wait– it gets better. Wildly emoting at the center is veteran actor Richard Boone– that’s right,
Paladin–in the, er, pivotal rôle of Masten Thrust (no kidding). Your witness, Mr. Freud.
This picture, according to author Stuart Galbraith, was “scheduled to open theatrically in New York
City, but was pulled at the last minute and instead made its U.S. debut as a TV movie for ABC.”
Those were the days.
KrOB’S MONSTER RALLY– AN ULTIMATELY TERRIFYING INDICTMENT OF
HUMANITY ITSELF!

Heh, heh, heh…

SOCIAL NOTES

And so Ask Dr. Hal! put on its Preview Nite last Tues. the 10th– 1nce again, the Show was a going
concern… We had some of our old pals (of course) along 4 the ride, but we noted some new faces too…
We’ll see how it shapes up during this lightning-fast, here-today-gone tomorrow iteration of ADH,
performance dates subject to revision with very little notice… Arrghh– blame calculating Chicken for
the necessity to include that caveat… Better watch these broadsides closely for the straight skinny.
Well, we saw lotsa variety at the show– not that you’d call it a Variety Show…  Among attentive
attendees we noted militant Moss, a.k.a. RollingMoss, who didn’t seem to want the whole thing to end,
perennial Paul Pot, whose quiver of queries were shunted by conniving Chicken to the Speed Round,
canine companion jocose Joppa, staking out our round, heuristic Hef-style bed as his personal turf,
and even addled Al “Werewolf” Simms, who posed no prob– we wouldn’t want him there on the 17th,
tho’ —check your ephemeris… While preparing, pre-show, in Chez Poulet’s cavernous upstairs, we
nearly collided with vivacious Valerie Leavy (a collision we wouldn’t have minded), ravishing resident
of the bldg. –she was equally surpriz’d… Another tenant was sweet Sunshine, who not only took in the
show but, good sport that she is, presented paideutical Pete Goldie’s Jar of gags to choleric Chicken
during prankish Pete’s segment… From the balcony above we thought we made out slinky Sarah, as in
Szczechowicz-Goldie– but that was an error, according to both glamorous Goldies (Never be without
your trusty fact-checker)… However, there was no mistaking manly Moses Grubb, devotee of divine
Dionysus, or krazy Kiko, our quondam Brazilian Astronaut for about a brazillion times –and Radio 
Valencia’s own questing Quarterman Jack, a first-timer to our festive fol-de-rol. RV, as we Pirate
Broadcasters
like to call it, covered us– until mindful Mikel-em came in & did his show around ten in
the P.M. –adress all complaints to Commander Chicken John, Esq., since that meant we didn’t get
the show recorded. Pity, too, the audio would’ve been good… Starry-eyed but steely Skippy,
jack-of-all-trades & our doorman that nite, let in luminaries larruping Lloyd Mongoloid of Cookie
Mongoloid
fame, obliging Orin Zebest, also from RV’s roster, kingly Kenny a.k.a. Phineas T.
Smokepott,
our indispensable laff leader (every show needs one) & jaunty Joseph, a former, and
perhaps future doorman in his own right… Curvaceous Carla Winsom, kaptivating Kelly Cathorn with
jolly John Antrobus squiring, & a few other new faces we couldn’t peg were seen on th’ scene… and
we welcomed also masterful Mike Ritch, Director of the Jean Henry School of Art (plug-ola) with
constant consort the stunning Shawna M., a first (but we hope not last)-timer at ADH… Well, come
nextime if you couldn’t be there– this run is short, sport– you could miss it pret-ty easily, we say
queasily. The show following next week may even jump over the hump to a different day, we are just
now hearing, & fearing… We’re betting on Wednesday, friends & neighbors… That’s because conniving
Chicken will probably rent out the house on Tues., May 24th to the well-heeled master cuisinier Chef Fleur-de-Lis of S.F.’s trendique eatery Le Restaurant Grasse-Chere-Couteuse, who’s apparently made hungry, cupidity-challenged Chicken a juicy Offer He Couldn’t Refuse… Chick’ll will cry for the show, though, all the way to the bank, as the saying goes. Meanwhile, do come in & show our show some support, sport, before we come up short… this means YOU!

SHOWS – UPCOMING
DARK ROOM BENEFIT FOR SPY EMERSON – MAY 28th
Our friend, fine artist Spy Emerson, is fighting an unscrupulous and ruinously expensive legal attack
by the father of her six-year-old son Lucky and his Midwest-based family acting in concert.
Those who closely know Spy are aware she is an exemplary mother, now overwhelmed by a malicious,
unexpected and fully financed, secretly well-planned, ruthless maneuver.
Any contribution is welcome to help oppose the financial/legal tsunami facing this brave and determined
woman.
Local performers, including Ask Dr. Hal!’s own Dr. Hal are to appear in the line-up of an evening variety
show at San Francisco’s Dark Room Theatre, 2263 Mission St.  Show time will be 8:00 PM.
A unique roster of contributing talents will make it a night to remember.
Eyenoise Projections by KrOB.
Look for the three Doggie Diner Heads outside the theater, where hot dogs will be grilled and sold to the gastronomically adventurous, before
and during the performance.
Watch this space for developing details, or go to darkroomsf.com   Call (415) 401-7987.

Dr. HAL ON RADIO:
Hear classic episodes on
Radio Valencia!
ADH PIRATE RADIO SHOW CONTINUES WITH WEEKLY BROADCAST!
The Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show has been running Friday nights 9PM to Midnight on S.F.’s newest Pirate
Radio sensation–
 radiovalencia.fm 87.9 FM
Live shows have been simulcast! And if you’ve missed them, they’re still on the radio!
Now, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, a beloved San Francisco Institution, also
continues as an innovative Pirate Radio Program on RadioValencia.FM
–broadcast –and podcast (keep watching these announcements) even
during the current run of the show!
Dr. Hal Live on Radio– Friday nights, 10 PM – Midnight.
Podcasts:
http://radiovalencia.fm/recent-shows/

–at the innovative & avant
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
COME ONE , COME ALL !
Watch Ask Dr. Hal! Shows— the very latest, and those of days gone by!
Visit the Puzzling Evidence Channel on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/PuzzlingEvidenceTV#grid/user/
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ASK DR. HAL! PRESENTS SPECIAL PREVIEW

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

SPECIAL PREVIEW SHOW BEGINS LATEST ADH RUN

Tuesday, May 10th
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez (Army) St.
Doors 8:30 – Show 9:00 PM.     

Admission $10 [NO COMPS]      
======================================================================================

The Dr. Hal Report – Vol. XIV – No. 1   

“An advance showing… to which a selected audience is invited before public presentation
begins…”
— Online Dictionary (1994– ?)

PREVIEW SHOW HITS THE BOARDS TUESDAY, MAY 10TH
This is not only a time of economic uncertainty, threatened ecological collapse and political
instability– but also, locally, of the potential criminalization of entertainment. The Powers that Be
in San Francisco– the usual clueless local pencil-pushers, bean-counters and police groupies –are
now pushing for two-month in advance permit application for any kind of performance (said permits
to cost $2,000.00 apiece) with giant fines and prosecution for the non-compliant, metal detectors at
venue entrances, mandatory fingerprinting for audience members and a mandated cop– a flatfoot
hired out for every 50 people in an audience. Cops at shows– just what we all need.
This climate of excessive regulation certainly threatens to stifle all forms of entertainment not
sanctioned by the circles of inmost privilege. Many in the arts community now believe the issue is
even more crucial than anything to do with taco trucks in Dolores Park…

Just the same, despite all this, Chicken John and Ask Dr. Hal!  are boldly planning to bring back their
show during May. But, as the saying goes, if you blink, you might miss it.

We invite you to our Dr. Hal Show Preview this coming Tuesday night.

Tuesday nights are an experimental first for our show.

Meanwhile, here’s a review of what we do that came out not too long ago:

http://sf.funcheap.com/city-guide/dr-hal-show/

Don’t miss what all the excitement’s about. Come on in and join us at this latent upcoming iteration of the
all-new Ask Dr. Hal! Show!–

WITH KrOB KARTUNE KLASSIC:
I Love to Singa (1936)
A strict piano teaching owl is cursed with a son who “loves to singa,” but only jazz. A Laff Riot directed by
cartoon legend Tex Avery.
and…
SEE KrOB’S MONSTROUS KLIP–
ROBOT GORILLA AUDITS DINOSAUR FOOTAGE
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED
FEATURING THE EPONYMOUS RO-MAN OF (PLANET) RO-MAN
KrOB’s krazy kut-up kinema kompels kontentment!
KrOB swears to high heaven that this excerpt is up to his usual standard.We advise those
who may be overly sensitive to such material to turn away or shade their eyes. It’s “showbiz”
–pure entertainment — and it’s all happening right here– at the famed Ask Dr. Hal! Show!
Perhaps you can run– but you can’t hide from the xists and their
invincible “CALCINATOR” death-ray of doom! These
awesomely Apocalyptic actinic blasts hurl themselves
RIGHT OFF THE PROJECTION SURFACE– & INTO THE AUDIENCE!
They ‘re coming– KrOB’s masterminding the Alien Invasion!
–And get a load of those DINOSAURS!

but first…
PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES amazing
ALTERNATE OUTER SPACE  THRILLS!
Scientifically au courant, the show boasts its own Astronomer and Science Expert, Pete Goldie.

DAVID CAPURRO  CULLS CLIPS, SNAPS FROM
ONLINE IMAGESTREAM– SYNCHRONOUS ” IRRITAINMENT”
‘Puter jock rocks the box, unlocks, mocks Pandora’s Box paradox.

CHICKEN JOHN  SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! Show in a brand new location: my living room. It’s
4 guys doing improv on 4 different levels. It can be amazing.”

4 GUYS ON THE RISE:
CHICKEN JOHN

Dr. HAL ROBINS

KrOB

DAVID CAPURRO
…AND SURPRISE MYSTERY GUESTS!

Hear classic episodes on
Radio Valencia!
ADH PIRATE RADIO SHOW CONTINUES WITH WEEKLY BROADCAST!
The Ask Dr. Hal! Radio Show has been running Friday nights, 9PM to Midnight on S.F.’s newest Pirate Radio sensation–
 radiovalencia.fm 87.9 FM
Live shows have been simulcast! And if you’ve missed them, they’re still on the radio!
Now, the Ask Dr. Hal! Show, a beloved San Francisco Institution, will
continue as an innovative Pirate Radio Program on RadioValencia.FM
–broadcast –and podcast (keep watching these announcements) even
during the current run of the show!
Dr. Hal Live on Radio only– Friday nights, 10 PM – Midnight.
Podcasts:
http://radiovalencia.fm/recent-shows/

At home, or on at Chez Poulet,  Ask Dr. Hal!  is here– to stay!

IT’S THE SHOW YOU KNOW AND LOVE…
Gags ! Goofs ! Girls! Surprises !
–Can You endure… The KrOB Moment?
(Ask Dr. Hal! will not be responsible for injuries or lasting mental trauma) *********************
All on our Custom-Made Stage
(by Pete Goldie)

–at the innovative & avant
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
COME ONE, COME ALL!