Ask Dr. Hal! is coming back– at least one more time.
You can see us this Friday, December 25th. That’s
right– Christmas Day! An Ask Dr. Hal! that segues
into…
our GIANT XMAS SHOW!!
**************************

YES– YOU ARE INVITED TO OUR
Annual Christmas Show–
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –  
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========
OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as,

“The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]
PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
As perhaps for the last time…
Chicken John
presents
The (Possibly) FINAL GENUINE & ORIGINAL
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW                                        

NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   

San Francisco, California

[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]
PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!  ( N O   K I D D I N G)
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will

be starting as close to Nine PM as we can. Despite a

long history of lagging audiences, we’ll start at Nine

anyway.

There’s just too much to cover to waste time

waiting for laggards (You know who you are)…

WE USUALLY CLOSE before Midnight, to give

our East Bay friends the chance to make it in

time to catch the last train from the 24th St.

BART Station, a few short blocks North of the

CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East

Bay train departs about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s

colorful Mission District. But this time it’s

different–  this show will run on and on,

later and later, until all energy is gone.

When it nears Midnight we’ll announce it–

but we’re not leaving…

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. 
Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) goes
out with a bang– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie’s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Spy, the Christmas Elf gives you her “special treatment!”
Dr. Hal answers your queries! We’re back– and doing the show once
more! (Will we ever learn?) It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain will fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’ll
miss it all! We hope you can spend one LAST NIGHT with us!

 The Dr. Hal Report

Vol. XII                                                                                          No. 10

“Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one
who endures that the final victory comes.”
–The Buddha: Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism

IT’S…
THE
LAST
ASK DR. HAL! OF THE YEAR!
AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WE WILL BE ABLE TO PUT ON ANOTHER…

COME TO BE ENTERTAINED & HAVE YOUR QUESTIONS
ANSWERED– STAY FOR THE PARTY!
WITH A GIANT PILE OF PRESENTS FOR ALL! BRING A PRESENT–
LEAVE WITH A PRESENT!

With…
YOUR BOASTFUL HOSTS,
CHICKEN JOHN
& Dr. HAL!
FIRST, we bring you ASK Dr. HAL! in all its savagery
and splendor!
THE LAST EMBER OF DECEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. Last time we were proud to
bring you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Horton
Hatches the Egg (1942). And now, for a definite change of pace with  what may turn out to be our
last performance for a while, KrOB has selected a charming product of the Fleischer cartoon
studio, Cobweb Hotel (1936). Yes, as you may have guessed, the theme is, once again, the Terror
of the Spider. (At our last show the KrOB Monster Klip (see below) featured an attack by an aggressive
nine-pounder. Wallowing in Spider-Phobia is, we admit, a persistent thread (heh, heh) in our show—
we like it because it is an epiphenomenon of the instinctive– e.g. a visceral aversion to spiders –not
cerebral, like, ideally, some other parts of our show. So, we figure the audience could use a little break,
getting in touch with feelings and reactions that aren’t on a rational, logical basis. And here we go again
with a Fleischer cartoon which, though not urbane, like the work of Warners animation Titans Clampett
and Avery, is still charged, like many of the studio’s other cartoons, with great iconic power. An evil,
hungry (and quite gleefully Sadistic) spider runs the Cobweb Hotel, which is visited by a pair of cute lil’
newlywed flies on their honeymoon. These two eventually catch on to a hideous, Gilles de Rais-type
set-up where screaming flies are fastened to web-spun “beds” awaiting their doom. But in the end the
little pests manage to defeat the hairy, adversarial arachnid. Naturally. Of course, this is a direct
inversion of reality– we ought to cheer on the spider, who’s our great ally against the fly, Man’s real
eternal enemy (it ain’t the spider). Yet an irrational and unquestioned tradition causes us to root for the
flies and hiss the spider, here a typically grotesque Fleischer villain. In the cartoon, we see, in addition
to the usual skillful and fluid animation, rotoscope effects (and why not? Max Fleischer invented the
rotoscope, still in use today in our high-tech film industry). There’s also a glimpse, at the beginning and
end, of their patented stereoptical process, where they got a 3-D effect like no other by actually building
miniature sets they then rotated before the camera. Animation by Dave Tendlar and Bill Sturm. Music
(the spider sings!) by Bob Royhberg and Fleischer lyricist Sammy Timberg.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. If you‘ve been habitually
missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice. So be on time! We have a huge show– you‘ll
probably leave before the (bitter) end, and we’re forced to start early. Y‘know, we‘ve carried ADH on for
many years now– and are always refining it a degree or so further, trying to ascertain what “works” and what
we have to conclude never will. The End though it may be, KrOB’s on the job, as always, brewing up new
surprises. And he‘s got a real winner this week, as the Monster Clip brings you the hideous tale of a
grotesque taxon-crossing mutant, part man and part ant, as…

KrOB, San Francisco, Presents:
ISOTOPIA UBER ALLES– Featuring MANT! THE INSECTILE ABOMINATION!

Radioactivity produces giant ants! GIANT ANTS! And that’s not all, according to this KrOB Kinematographic
Kollage Kreation. Unspeakably horrible is this eructation of perverted science– the metamorphosis of Homo
sapiens into… Homo myrmex. Yes, your traumatized eyes will behold sights which will seize your quivering brain
in gleaming, razor-sharp chitinous mandibles and send it skittering off into a necrophagous abyss of suffocating,
night-black horror, down endless subterranean corridors of wriggling, hexapodal madness. Oh, that KrOB. Now,
nearly all ants have a unique gland found on the petiole, the linking segment between thorax and abdomen (we
were classically trained) or, as they say today in Ant Science or Myrmecology, the altitrunk and gastor. Yes, yes,
insect fans– we know that the altitrunk is considered the distal component of the pre-petiolar thorax. There’s just
not space to get into that here. Anyway, we are speaking of the metapleural gland. Most importantly, this gland has
been shown to contain antibacterial and antifungal chemicals which are essential for survival in the humid, dark
nests your typical ants construct in the ground or rotting vegetation. This gland secretes an antiseptic substance,
or “gleet,” that at times acts as a repellent to attacking organisms. It is also thought that the selfsame metapleural
gland releases certain special pheromones for communication. But, you know, that’s pretty small compensation for
a guy who finds himself slowly turning into a man-ant, or mant. Hence, the drama, the pathos. You know the drill.
So, for unique, bulbous Big Bug thrills, get a load of what the indefatigable KrOB‘s prepared for this week! Right–
yet another in a series of unforgettable KrOB “Edits!” Scientific! Educational! View it all on our Giant Screen.
Come one, come all…  

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

   http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE FRISSONS!
Our Science Segment…

Did you know top N.A.S.A. scientists often attend the show? It’s true! Our show begins
with an actual narrated presentation of the latest astronomical findings. To participate in
the receiving of new scientific knowledge is rightly considered a privilege, as we see it, by
those unencumbered with an excess of credulity, superstition and fanaticism in their inner
makeup, those who understand that the self is strengthened and renewed by its ongoing
transformation by means of the introduction and accommodation of new information and
ideas, i.e. Learning. And so it is that Pete Goldie, our own Boffo Boffin, though eternally
baited by Chicken, illumes and educates with his unrivaled Cosmic Revelations, his heroic
hebdomadal presentation for your eyes and minds. A quondam NASA consultant, real
“Science Superhero” Dr. Goldie, a contemporary Prometheus (bound to suffer the vulturine
gnawings and pangs of Chicken‘s heckling) who brings unworthy humanity the sacred fire
of Celestial truth, is, paradoxically, a down-to-earth kind of guy. He can tell you everything
about the tiles on the Space Shuttle– and on your bathroom floor! He‘s also a raconteur,
artificer and craftsman, and a delver into mysteries of natural philosophy. He arranged for
Chicken‘s name (and ours) to be shot into space aboard the Dawn Explorer on its mission to
the Asteroid Belt! We think that says it all. The well-known bon vivant and astro-science
specialist gives us astonishing pictures from worlds never before viewed by human eyes—
transmitted by robots who are even now, right this minute, busily exploring Outer Space.
You‘ll be spellbound as, with their assistance, Pete will set before your bulging baby blues,
burnt-sienna browns or gemstone greens, rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System. And, via computer-jockey David Capurro‘s abilities (see below) he usually also neatly
illustrates his presentation with those rare pictures. A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

CAPPY COMBS CYBERSPACE–
TO SLAY ‘EM WITH SIGHT-GAGS!
The Visual Dimension…

Our very own dementedly devoted David Capurro, in his alternate identity as Yo-Yo Pro, has performed in
multiple venues, yo-yo-ing for astonished audiences.Now, yet another time, he returns to Ask Dr. Hal! As of
old, he vivaciously vivifies our Show with a kind of visual, Virtual yo-yo-ing: even as Dr. Hal is speaking,
David’s dexterous digits flash across his keyboard– and, Wow! A confirming (or at least, ideally, congruent)
image appears on the screen! (Usually, filthy, but that’s showbiz…)

THEN, WHEN ALL THIS STUFF IS OVER WITH,
WE SLIDE RIGHT INTO…
OUR ONCE-A-YEAR XMAS X-STRAVAGANZA!
Our longtime audience knows the drill. Bring a wrapped present– leave with a different, or several
different presents! The luck of the draw! Interact with Dr. Hal, Chicken, Spy the Xmas Elf (R-rated)
and enjoy, or endure the ultimate KrOB Moment– that goes on all night long! It’s an orgy of excess!
An endurance fest! A personal test! Be our guest!

ONGOING SHOWS

“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which will happen in about a month, in addition to another appearance
by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and a one-of-a-kind collaboration with legendary Comic Book Artist Spain Rodriguez, Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these.

Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show.

The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well

as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

THE LAST HOLIDAY HELPING OF THOSE AMAZING,
AMUSING… PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals
and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pedro arrives just in time for America’s Angle, the Space Science Report, but then the “InnerNet” breaks–
 and Pete Goldie (impersonating FDR) drops into a gamma ray rut. Anyone care for a FREE Venom
Mango-flavored Energy Drink? December 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s7bA8NM5MY&feature=channel

Space Science continues, as infinite and unending as Space itself… But Dr. Hal does eventually enter, on
December 11th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc_hJ89ZL4E&feature=channel

At length, and in the Fullness of Time, Dr. Hal channels the late President, Richard M. Nixon
December 11th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5eH4tRf6w4&feature=channel

Nazis invented ZIP Codes, and more awesome revelations, not to mention the dread KrOB Moment
December 11th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wnhGinFX44&feature=channel

The Norman Conquest occurred in 1066 AD when William the Conqueror, as described in William of
Malmesbury’s Historia Novella in 1142, successfully defeated Harold Fairhair and his forces. The same
scribe also wrote of the lives of the Saints. Excerpt from December 11th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DG3j3pQNIE&feature=channel

The stirrup improved military technology— and we also speak on our ongoing  need for more and more
Plastic Dinosaurs, that December 11th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzx-CuqRT1U&feature=channel

Pete Goldie shows us the Milky Way –not the candy bar –as  ADH commences on December 4th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvNobMER6qU&feature=channel

More hardcore Hard Science— Chicken muses about Gravity and the agony of Toenail Loss–
then Dr. Hal enters with some Dylan Thomas December 4th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlcTICc6Q_k&feature=channel

Optimism about the Future— will we hunt rabbits in Dolores Park? Pete loses, then finds, his
LASER. Never climb inside an abandoned refrigerator– even to see if the light stays on! That was
December 4th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CDGXGBV4S8&feature=channel

The Smoke-Pot Guys, Ken Karefree and Phineas T. Smokepott, are seated with honor in their own
box seats, a historic milestone of December 4th (Pt. 4). Obo Martin is seen for an instant at the end:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dndHT8qwRI4&feature=channel

How the 70’s went wrong and many other perturbations are perused December 4th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wea5ETsJEtY&feature=channel

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you one more time at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 25th!
…AND AFTER THAT, WHAT WILL HAPPEN NO ONE KNOWS…

                

Chicken John
presents
====== THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL =========
ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW  
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret 
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)  
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS !
FRIDAY, December 11th!      

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING

AT  NINE P.M. SHARP!  
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past– WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our EastBay friends the chance to make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET

[Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PHILOSOPHICAL ANARCHY! RIOTOUS COMEDY!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic

Ask Dr. Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action— with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Jimson Jimmy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie‘s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Dr. Hal answers your queries! We‘re back– and doing
the show once more! It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the
final curtain might fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you‘ll
miss it all!
Admission —      

$10.00     

(TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)  

                   
[Our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

         The Dr. Hal Report        
Vol. XII                                                                                                                         No. 9

How like a Winter hath mine Absence been
From thee, the Pleasure of the fleeting Year!
What Freezings have I felt, what dark Days seen,
What old December‘s bareness everywhere!”
                                                                            –-Shakespeare 

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

KARTOON : TREE-SITTING ELEPHANT HATCHES HYBRID MONSTROSITY9-POUND SPIDER + THEN SCUTTLES FORWARD IN ATTACK IN KINDLY KrOB’S ARTFUL ARACHNOPHOBIC APOTHEOSIS TO PROVIDE NEEDED HOLIDAY CHEER + ON-LINE INTERVIEW 4 U + BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE– WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE + PETE GOLDIE’S REMARKABLE SPACE REVELATIONS PRODUCE, IN THOSE PRESENT, BEGUILING SENSATIONS + DAVID CAPURRO’S IN CHARGE OF THE SCREEN– USUALLY, HE PUTS UP SOMETHING OBSCENE+ NEWS:
ADIEU TO FRANK CHU + THEY SAY OUR NEWEST DOORMAN, JIMMY,GETS FEMALE HEARTS TO SHAKE & SHIMMY – DR. HAL ART SHOW STILL UP  & RUNNING, VISIT SAME THIS WEEK  @ MERCURY CAFE – WATCH FOR OUR FABLED FORTHCOMING, CULMINATING XMAS SHOW + SOCIAL NOTES + PUZZLING EVIDENCE PRESENTS MORE– ON YOU TUBE +

A DECEMBER YOU’LL REMEMBER!

–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!

Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, Warner Bros. animation director Bob Clampett’s irrepressible Bacall
to Arms (1946). Well, Clampett also teamed up with Dr. Seuss to produce this week’s cartoon–
Horton Hatches the Egg (1942). Yes, that Horton. In addition to his heroic advocacy for Whoville,
the titular pachyderm also hatched an egg, in Clampett’s engaging version of the Seuss book.
Clampett adds his own sardonic touches. At one point, as the ship transporting the tree-sitting
elephant is making its way across the Atlantic, a fish with the face and voice of Peter Lorre sticks
his head out of the water, takes in the spectacle and languidly exclaims, “Now I‘ve seen everything”
and whips out a gun and blasts his brains out. For some reason, they censor this part when they
show it. Actually, lately they don’t even show it. But KrOB does, at Ask Dr. Hal! For those who can
truly appreciate it, this cartoon is a beautiful and artistic creation. And we don’t censor anything.
So join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your
Nation’s once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished
popular culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.
So be on time! If you‘re habitually missing these things you‘re doing yourself a disservice & not getting
full equity on your admission price…
Do we really have to explain who Peter Lorre was?

Also with…
KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
ALONG CAME… A SPIDER!

Giant Spiders often have enlivened our shows in the past– now KrOB unveils a pulse-pounding
encounter with another outsized arachnid. Although Spiders frighten most people, being as they
are a living embodiment of elements of unstifled Nature which force us to confront her most
sinister potentialities, it should be said in all fairness that these creatures, particularly the giant kind,
are really rather fragile. Once one can get past the understandable loathing and cosmic horror
they tend to inspire, once deprived of the element of surprise, most of these arthropodal prodigies
can be disposed of with only moderate effort. The oft-feared tarantula cannot withstand even the
slightest jar which breaks the seals at the leg joints and kills the creature by allowing the lymph,
spider circulatory fluid, to leak out. This is also true of the far more fearsome and larger Brazilian
Wandering Spider, Phoneutria nigriventer. This Goliath of spiders, highly venomous and fiercely
aggressive, will pursue and attack humans, but has proven to be equally vulnerable (our late
grandmother once killed one, in 1926, with a broom). The spider in KrOB’s cautionary excerpt,
only slightly but significantly larger than today’s known types of Phoneutria, appears to be perhaps
some kind of an enlarged Latrodectus mactans, a spider notorious for its neurotoxic venom even
when found at its regular size. But in Earth’s prehistoric past, huge spiders did flourish in the
Paleozoic, far bulkier than even the eight-legged colossus KrOB will gleefully exhibit. Scientific!
Educational! It’s a fair bet that no other night club show, on Cesar Chavez Street in San Francisco
or anywhere else, presents anything like this as a diversion for its audience. Not for children or
those easily shocked.
Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!

PETE GOLDIE PROVIDES OUTER SPACE THRILLS!
Our Science Segment…  

Prevailing theory suggests that cosmic rays are accelerated to energies of billions to even trillions
of electron volts by the expanding shock waves generated when massive stars explode. Hear ADH
Science Solon Pete Goldie expound on gamma ray bursts and how cosmic rays with even higher
energies are thought to be powered by supermassive black holes at the centers of galaxies (our own
galaxy, the Milky Way, has one of these). Kinks in a galaxy’s magnetic field keep cosmic ray particles
bouncing back and forth between the advancing shock wave and the immediately anterior region–
revving them up, as it were, to these high energy levels. Who knows? Perhaps gamma-ray emissions
from starburst galaxies peak at the energy generated when a certain subatomic particle known as a
neutral pion decays into two gamma rays. These galactic pions can be generated only by cosmic-ray
collisions. Pete, a student of the evolution, physics, chemistry, meteorology, and motion of celestial
objects, as well as the formation and future development of the universe itself, also isn’t beyond a nod
to high-energy physics to make his point. And, with computer-jockey David Capurro‘s assistance (see
below) he usually also illustrates his presentation with rare pictures of strange worlds in our own Solar
System. A Dr. Hal Show Extra-Special Featurette.

COMPUTER FREEBOOTER GETS CUTER!
The Visual Dimension… 

In a cloud of swirling incense, David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro, a mainstay of our show for lo these
many years, provides a running visual commentary to all that is said and done as the show goes
on. It works like this: we mention a topic, David operates his keyboard, and almost instantly there’s
a related image up on the screen. I.J. (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity Yo-Yo
Pro, one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master of Yo-Yo Fu extraordinaire, is a multi-talented,
accomplished baker and a competent guitarist. A cool customer– but he really lives for but one
purpose. His main delight in this life is to ask an anonymous question at Ask Dr. Hal! and get host
Chicken, unknowingly, to pour him a free shot of Fernet. And in this, strangely enough, he always
succeeds. He sure can do it. So he does it. That settles it.

NEWS – 

FRANK CHU TAKES EXTENDED SABBATICAL

Famed Street Prophet Frank Chu has dropped out of Ask Dr. Hal! for the time being, and we see
no further purpose in continuing to advertise his presence at our show. Frank and Ask Dr. Hal! go
back a long way, but he hasn’t been making his scheduled appearances with us for the past ten
weeks– we hear he has some sort of “trouble with Fridays” –so we at Ask Dr. Hal! have reluctantly
acquiesced to his need to go his merry way. It seems that also our well-known doorman Robert
Levy, who ran the 12 Galaxies Night Club back in the day, is also too busy for us in these hard times.
So, we‘re replacing removed Robert with our new doorkeeper– Jimmy! (See below.)

PRESENTING JIMMY– OUR NEWEST ADH DOORMAN!

He’s tall and lanky, easy-going and affable– unless someone tries to get in without paying the freight.
Meet Jimmy, the newest sensational discovery at Ask Dr. Hal!, the world’s foremost question-and-
answer night club show. Jimmy will take your admission payment and direct you to your seat, making
ingress to the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret virtually anxiety-free. And… girls– we hear he‘s “available!”
‘Nuff said.

ONGOING SHOWS
“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME”

–Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!

For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at

the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street (at Page).

The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB.

Keep watching this space for our announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books,

The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

–And don’t forget! We’re counting down to our

Megalo-Annual Christmas Show–

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========

OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as, “The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]

PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
****** (Keep watching this space for developing details!) *****

SOCIAL NOTES

Friday nite our crowd gotta loada chortlin’ Chicken John’s new “stage modifications–” get this: a special
Box Seat for the stupefied Smoke Pot Guys! That’s krusty Ken Karefree & philosophical Phineas T. Smokepott,
who now have their own VIP (Very Intoxicated Patrons) area– compleat w/ bags o’chips, couch & blaring, garish
blacklite poster. How’s that for service? Meanwhile, former doorman ramblin’ Robert Levy has rambled on, so we
now have joltin” Jimmy, our current major-domo of the threshold. He’s the towering ticket-taker and cash catcher
you’ll find hovering by our portals, mortals… Y’know, we dunno whether weather conditions‘ll downsize our upcoming
audience… The weather bureau boys & gals say we’re in for some striding storms… lashings of rain… great. Just
what this show needs. Well, why not ride out the blast inside the comfy confines of the good, old Chez Poulet Gallery
Cabaret, eh? Why not? Oh, what we go through… Well, good weather brought out dashing Davy, granite-jawed Gooby,
lounge-lizard Lloyd Mongoloid of Mongoloid & Cookie Mongoloid fame, mild-mannered Miles who was miles of
smiles, mummenschanzer Moses Grubb, sensational Sean Kelly, sensual Sadie (a Canine American) & quondam
fellow performer with delighted Dr. Hal, lovely Linda Robertson… We thought we caught a glimpse of jewel-like Jenner,
one-time Odeon bartender & now writer of one of the few blogs really worth your attention (at http://lastcallsf.com/
on the Interweb)… but she, whoever, was in the back… couldn’t tell… hard to squint thru those brite lites… Jasmine-
fresh Jean quizzed & queried us– abt. invisible upchuck, but careening Cappy’s antics on the computer created a
distraction on the screen whose uproar scrambled the reception of the answer… betterluck nextime… Then definitely
determined Dini wanted to know if fire always goes with smoke…  Deconstructing aphorisms, that’s what we so often end
up doing…Bus Trip & Burner Vet observable Obo Martin attended, wrapped in a blanket it seemed, unless memory plays
us false… Digital David Capurro‘s station was incensed, Fernet by cheeky Chicken was dispensed… And so it was. On
the way out we chatted with kurvaceous Kate Willett & mainstay Marc Roper… Another show did all befall, so thanx
to one & thanx to all…And speaking of thanks, ranks, patient Puzzling Evidence could use some– you can bet the
mortgage he was at the Show again, shooting us more for those You Tube entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite,
to appear beneath this site… like these most recent ones! Keep going– just drop your eyes down… on down to these…

…AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– plant your peepers on a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96, various festivals and performances (and behind the scenes) of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Pete Goldie performs as only he can, as we launch ADH November 27th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/mPBiks3NrKM

But then Dr. Hal is forced by the audience‘s caprice to discuss, among other things, He-Man‘s
underwear (and outerwear) November 27th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/fs15xIOHnRE

Kids have the Damnedest Names as we find from Dr. Hal, who then must flip into “Beatnik” Mode,
and more that same night of November 27th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/3/ePzgtPHtquA

Robin Coomer’s KrOB Moment! But perhaps she deserved better. Still, that’s what it was, on the
27th of November (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/2/NvriDE9d9eU

Did dinosaurs smile at rainbows? This fragment takes you to the Dance Party, or part of it, on
November 27th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/1/dybgS-Oyh9w

What better way to start than with Pete Goldie‘s Science Report? We recapitulate our show, which first
took place November 20th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/10/9b10X8U7Dwc

Science has its day, the 19th Psalm and even an a cappella rendition of lyrics from
an extremely obscure musical show as we continue with the best moments shaved
from the ADH of November 20th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/9/UdozeN4f-Aw

And then a Rebuke to hoarders (of all things) distinguishes this minuscule mote
comprising a significant chunk of show on November 20th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/xbEENziL8zY

Incubi et Succubae concern us— both transitory stages of the same volant creature,
just one more Awesome Revelation served up by Ask Dr. Hal! on November 20th
(Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mi4pWmdyR8o

Bodily functions discussed with an air of unction before questing bumpkins on
that November 20th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/gOJQJemiIsQ

The Viking Code ends the Show, thanks be to Wotan…Gods, History and Church
forever….or until YouTube gives up the ghost. The last of November 20th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/BUr2XFfl4s0 

See all of Puzzling Evidence’s video realm at Puzzling Evidence TV.

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]     

Happening This Friday Night– Dec. 11th!

The next Ask Dr. Hal! Show is December 4th!

YOU’RE INVITED!

Chicken John
presentS

THE GENUINE & ORIGINAL

ASK Dr. HAL! SHOW   
NOW PLAYING AT THE LEGENDARY
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.)   
San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

And take note:
WE’RE NOW ON FRIDAYS!
FRIDAY, December 4th!  
GAGS! GOOFS! PRIZES! SURPRISE GUESTS! CRANKS! QUIPS!

PERFORMANCE COMMENCING AT
NINE P.M. SHARP!           
===DOORS OPEN FOR THE SHOW AT 8:30 PM===
THE PRE-SHOW begins about Eight-Thirty. We will be starting as close to Nine PM
as we can. Despite a long history of lagging audiences, we’ll try not to hold the
curtain as we have in the past–
WE CLOSE, ideally,  before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to
make it in time to catch the last train from the 24th St. BART Station, a few short
blocks North of the CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET [Last East Bay train departs
about 12:16 AM] in S.F.’s colorful Mission District!

Yes! You read it right! The original, unabridged & authentic Ask Dr. 
Hal! Show (beware of derivative question-and-answer shows) is
back in action– with Chicken John & all your favorite, frantic ADH
crew!  With Robert Levy at the door! KrOB at the controls! Pete
Goldie‘s Science Scoops! David “Yo-Yo King” Capurro body-surfs
the Internet! Dr. Hal answers your queries! They’re all back– doing
the show once more! Everybody– even– Woo-hoo! –Frank Chu!
It’s just as if we never left! But beware– the final curtain might fall while you aren’t paying attention– and you’d miss it all!
Admission —       $10.00      (TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS)

[Our usual (reasonable) Admission Price.]

=======The Dr. Hal Report=========
Vol. XII                                                          No. 8

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me
there lay an invincible summer.”
– Albert Camus

C  O  N  T  E   N   T  S  :

KARTOON : THE WOLF HOWLS FOR LAUREN BACALL IN CLAMPETT’S SUPRESSED KARTOON KLASSIC, BACALL TO ARMS (1946) + THEN IN “SKINS VS. SHIRTS,” KrOB’S VOLATILE VISION OF SKELETONS BATTLING HEROIC THESSALIAN WARRORS TO THE DEATH, WE’LL PUT YOU IN JUST THE RITE MOOD FOR THE XMAS ‘TUDE + INTERVIEW 4 U + BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE & YOU CAN’T LOSE + DAVID CAPURRO ES YO-YO PURO + PETE GOLDIE’S TRULY UNCANNY SPACE REVELATIONS WILL MAKE YOU END UP SEEING STARS + NEWS: CHICKEN “MODIFYING” ADH SET, DR. HAL ART SHOW STILL UP & RUNNING, VISIT SAME THIS WEEK  @ MERCURY CAFE, WATCH FOR OUR FORTHCOMING, CULMINATING XMAS SHOW + SOCIAL NOTES: MOB
OFSMART PEOPLE STAMPEDE INTO SOLD-OUT SHOW, BIRTHDAY GREETING
RESPONSE AVALANCHE + PUZZLING EVIDENCE ADDS MORE YOU TUBE XCERPTS +
A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER!
–AND WE START…  WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!
Just before every performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon– each, one
of the best seven-minute theatrical shorts ever committed to film. The previous week we
brought you, as promised, the pro-smoking No Smoking (1951) in which Goofy first attempts
to reject, but then fully embraces the tobacco habit. But this week KrOB’ll outdo himself in his
selection of suppressed animated masterpieces as he presents Warner Bros. animation
director Robert “King” Clampett’s irrepressible Bacall to Arms (1946). This was Clampett’s
second-to-last cartoon at Warners, though he was left uncredited (because he had left the
studio before the cartoon was released). There’s no mistaking Clampett’s directorial presence,
but it’s said that after his departure studio hacks altered the film somewhat, causing its flow
to be jumpier than the usual perfectly-timed Clampett product. What is undisputed is that the
final gag, whether or not Clampett’s, has placed Bacall to Arms on the Do Not Show List, and
in consequence it never appears on television. The entire ending, where the Tex Avery-esque
Wolf happily puffs on Laurie Be-Cool’s cigarette only to get shot by  Bogey GoCart, who then
retrieves the cigarette and smokes it (only for it to blow up and turn him blackfaced, saying in the
voice of African-American comedian Eddie “Rochester” Anderson, “My, oh my! I can work for
Mr. Benny now!”) was completely cut when the rest of the film was shown on TNT, a cable
channel owned by Ted Turner. The opposing view, ours at Ask Dr. Hal! –is that this gag should
not be seen as either racist or even mean-spirited, but more of a contemporary acknowledgement
of a popular radio program (soon to be a nationally known show in the early days of the television
medium). While we would not ever argue that we are now in a “post-racial” society, whatever that
might mean, we do maintain that there needs to come a day when we can accept caricatures which
acknowledge “racial” differences (the entire concept of “race” we know to be scientifically fallacious)
as part of the tradition of universal humor which includes caricatura. We do admit that it isn’t our
particular ox being gored here, but does it then follow that we, cartoon-lovers and lovers of culture
in general, must accept being told we are not allowed our own overview of the matter? Yes, those
unappointed theoreticians, the lame-o censors, the people who know what’s good for you better
than you do, have decreed that this cartoon be never, ever shown. But of course at AskDr. Hal! we
are, as always, taking pains to give you the whole thing, complete and uncut. Oh, it helps to know
something about Ernest Hemingway, his novel To Have and Have Not, the Warner Bros. movie of the
same name, its stars (and actual lovers) Humphrey Bogart and (the then 19-year-old) Lauren Bacall
and maybe for good measure what movie shows used to be like. But even from a perspective of total
ignorance of all the things which make up the backstory of Bacall to Arms, the receptive viewer can
enjoy the film’s eloquent articulation of the universal language of comedy. That’s where we stand. So
join us this Friday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure  of your Nation’s
once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular
culture. Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on
time! If you’re habitually missing these things you’re doing yourself a disservice & not getting full
equity on your admission price…

Also with…
NEW HERETOFORE UNSHOWN KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
Dry Bones vs. Flesh & Blood!
Clattering Skeleton Swordsmen Best Heroes in Combat–
Due to an unexpected “glitch” we weren’t able to show the intended KrOB Edit, the Skeletonous
Skirmish, so we showed a substitute KrOB Klassic, Monster Snake Coffee Break. And the crowd
loved it, so there was no loss… Still, we’ll show it this week– so here’s last week’s write-up once
again, ideally descriptive of what you’ll see on the 4th… Nothing is wasted on the Show. Except,
each week, the coterie of so-called Smoke Pot Guys who always sit together. Anyway, long, long ago,
as every schoolboy knows, Prince Phrixus of Boiotia, son of Athamas, and his twin sister Helle
were both cordially hated by their cruel stepmother, Ino (their mother had been Nephele, a minor
goddess of the clouds, but someone Ino always felt herself being unfairly measured against). So she
arranged an honor for the two– to be sacrificed to the Harvest Gods. (It may have been a very great
honor, but the kids were actually dubious about this.) Fortunately, Nephele sent them a miraculous
flying ram, on whose fleecy back they got away, just in time. Starting either from Halos in Thessaly
or, according to some, Orchomenus in Boeotia, they cruised at a low-flying altitude over the strait of
the Dardanelles until, when they hit an air pocket, Helle slipped off and fell all the way into the sea
and was killed. They call that body of water the Hellespont, in Helle’s honor– or, the Sea of Helle.
At least there’s the honor.

Phrixus eventually landed in Colchis, where he was adopted by kindly King
Aetes. The ram, as a reward for saving the Prince’s life, was sacrificed to Jove– a great honor, to
be sure– and the golden fleece of this deceased magical beast was hung up in the Holy Grove of
Ares, guarded by a reptilian monster, a many-eyed, multi-headed dragon. So, to make a long story
short, Jason and his Argonauts appeared. With Princess Medea’s help Jason managed to kill the
guardian monster. And then, as they were trying to leave, Aetes, to stop them, sowed the dragon’s
teeth (a Hydra in the movie) –from them, up sprung the legions slain of the monster, a skeleton army.
So watch as KrOB marshals a skeletonous skirmish, animated by the divine Ray Harryhausen, our
Master Puppeteer. Cheers! Oh, what happened to the fleece, you ask? Why, Zeus placed it amid the
stars, a thoughtful gesture. The constellation of Ares is principally formed of the stars Hamai,
Sheratan and Mesarthim, the latter one of the very first binary stars ever to be discovered, in 1664.The Cloven Foot of the Ram. Just ask Pete Goldie. Hamai is a magnitude 2.2 star. Ares, or Aries
may be found somewhat below Triangulum. By the way, you might want to know that Hamai, 72
light-years distant, is heading straight for us– rapidly approaching at 9 miles per second.

Read the latest hard-hitting interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:

http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

NO BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
Not counting the inevitable Fernet Branca shots for the (un)lucky.
With Venom Mango Energy Drinks given away– on the house!!
DAVID CAPURRO ADDS VISUAL EXCITEMENT, LAFFS
Think Dr. Hal talks through his hat? You won’t think so after you watch what Yo-yo Pro Dave
“Computer Jockey” Capurro puts up on our Giant Screen. Even as Dr. Hal is speaking, David’s
dexterous digits flash across his keyboard– and, presto! A confirming (or at least congruent) image
appears on the screen! (Usually, filthy.) And the crowd goes wild. Yes, this week too on ADH we
can expect the multi-talented David Capurro once again to ride herd on the accompanying
images which constantly stream under his assured direction to accompany and illustrate the
oft-controversial conversational vagaries and Mercurial meanderings of Dr. Hal, Pete Goldie and
the guests of Ask Dr. Hal!

PETE GOLDIE WINS 1st PLACE– IN SPACE!
Our Science Segment…
Pete Goldie has his head in the clouds, even beyond them in the endless reaches of space –but his
feet are planted firmly on the ground. In our show Pete deals with the science of celestial objects
(such as stars, planets, comets, and galaxies) and phenomena that originate outside the Earth’s
atmosphere (such as auroras and cosmic background radiation). A student of the evolution, physics,
chemistry, meteorology, and motion of these celestial objects, as well as the formation and future
development of the universe itself, he illustrates his presentation with rare pictures of strange worlds
in our own Solar System. A Dr. Hal Show Special Featurette.

NEWS – ONGOING SHOWS
CHICKEN JOHN PROMISES “SPECIAL MODIFICATION” OF ADH SET
An architectural wonder, the standing set for Ask Dr. Hal! was created and constructed under the close
supervision of ADH Science Dept. Head Pete Goldie. Sturdily built on its enduring raised platform, the
set, bolted to the wall of the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret with massive steel sections, is said to be not
only earthquake-proof, and thus certified safe for local performances in the Hayward Fault Geosynclinal
Fold Zone, but also the only structure of its kind capable of withstanding a nuclear war (if shielded from
the initial thermal pulse of a directed groundburst)– probably the single strongest component of the
entire building. (This is in contrast to the floor of Chez Poulet, built to be thinner than needed by cost-
conscious Chicken to maximize savings– and in consequence, prone to give way suddenly, at inopportune
moments, causing unexpected sinking of audience members and seats.)

Now The Dr. Hal Report has learned (from a recent Facebook posting) that energetic Chicken is currently altering the famed stage structure, with a view toward honoring a special portion of our faithful fellow-travelling ADH audience.
No word yet certified for public release from the crafty showman has been received on the specific nature
of the modifications involved; however, we can assert with unalloyed confidence that these will become
obvious to all attendees during the very next episode of Ask Dr. Hal!

“THE PRODUCTIONS OF TIME” –Dr. HAL’S CURRENT ART SHOW!
For everyone who missed Dr. Hal’s last art show, some of the images shown there are now featured again,
together with new and previously unshown works. It’s all happening at the Mercury Café, 201 Octavia Street
(at Page). The opening party featured entertainment by Dr. Hal and KrOB. Keep watching this space for our
announcement of the closing party, which, when it happens, in addition to another appearance by the
demented duo, will present a live performance by Dr. Hal ably assisted by KrOB’s visual and auditory magic!
It will also be an opportunity for those who are interested to purchase a limited number of Dr. Hal’s books, The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks (which is becoming quite a rarity– Random House is now out of
them), Dinosaur Alphabet and Alien Apocalypse 2006, including autographed and dedicated copies.
This may be the last best chance to get some of these. Art Prints of many of the pictures can be ordered from
Studio Reflex of San Francisco– pick up a form at the show. The Mercury, serving organic and fair trade
coffees as well as locally produced foods, can be reached at (415) 252-7855.

–And don’t forget! We’re counting down to our Megalo-
Annual Christmas Show–
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25TH –
=======CHRISTMAS DAY!!===========
OUR BELOVED YEARLY ENACTMENT OF
“The Year Chicken John Saved Christmas!”
[Also known as, “The Night Chicken John Ruined Christmas”]
PRESENTED ON OUR ASK DR. HAL! STAGE – WITH PRESENTS
AND GOOD CHEER FOR ALL, AS WE WIND UP ANOTHER YEAR!
******** (Keep watching this space for developing details!) **********

SOCIAL NOTES
What a Mercurial master is Show Business, whose parameters change each week
as they will, shifting between highs & lows without rhyme or reason. You read here
last wk. about our miserably puny audience showing for our iteration on the 20th of
Nov. –hardly worth doing the show, was the gestalt floating among (some) ADH cast
& crew. Barely in 2 digits, dig it? But then, lastweek, we had ’em sitting in the aisles
(after seats ran out). Lucky for us, ’twas one of our better outings, according to the
grapevine… But really, folks, a good audience makes a good show, or makes a
good show better– we’re nourished by your questions, and good ones can help us
put out a few new young shoots and leaves, even fruit on occasion… Perfunctory
“gag” questions from a minimal and/or indifferent group, on th’ other hand, only shrivel
us inside our bark, to continue the arboreal metaphor, or introduce the gypsy moth
caterpillar or the boring apple worm… those guys… So we were wowed by the
krowd, and Chicken was even so encouraged that he’s altering the ADH Set for
nextime (see News, above)… And who were these robust roisterers, some new to Ask
Dr. Hal? These pioneers? Well, they weren’t all new faces– we even were visited by
charming Chuckles the Clown, an old chum up from Lost Angeles on a recon mission,
and steadfast Cookie Mongoloid lead Lloyd Mongoloid… Artist lovely Lynn Rubenzer
was in the house, & we noted careening Carl Heiney lurching about on a late-nite jaunt
our way… Then there were easy-on-the-eyes Eileen Hassi, curvaceous Connie Hendrix
with torpedo Todd, sultry Suzanne Stefanac, another visitor from afar, alluring aerialist
Mesmerizing Miriam Telles, slinky Sarah Szczechowicz and molasses-sweet Molly…
Dashing D. Steven Black was back… Originally hailing from Doylestown, Pennsylvania
(“Hub of the Universe”) –why can’t ‘Frisco get itself a snazzy moniker like that? –were a
wide-travelled bunch, who came to see us on a hunch– incl. some doctors inna house—
battling Bruce Hall M.D., his wife captivating Cathy Matyas Hall, his sister komely Kathryn
Hall M.D., her husband red-blooded Richard Neilson Esq. J.D. (heeza legal eagle) &
paideutic Pete Goldie‘s best buddy since 2nd grade masterful Mike Anciaux, his Better
Half winsome Wendy Wolfe, & their said-to-be progressive and politically astute son (now
of legal age, but in point of fact underage when Chicken forced a pair of Fernet shots on
him) erudite Erik Anciaux… Euphoric Erik, who seemed unfazed by the alcoholic assault,
shares Dr. Hal’s birthday of Nov. 28th…  “All of those people are smarter than I am,”
moaned perturbed Pete Goldie, who reported “a few difficulties” during the Space Science
Update…  As championing Chicken maintains, it’s an intellectual salon, after all, perplex’d
Pete– at least, that’s part of what he says… No complaints or snide Side Notes from the
likes of frantic Fernando Espinoza, jocund J.D., luscious Lucy, bold Ben Kaminsky or
swooner-crooner zest-filled Zoli Lundy, slumming at our show… And speaking of songbirds,
ravishing Robin Coomer, star of Loop! Station and friend of Shake Well, put in an appealing
appearance, gladdening our doddering frame to its crumbling core– she requested a Two-
Minute Dance Party at the rite moment; request granted, radiant Robin… Yes, declining Dr.
Hal has now– incredibly –become 59, and is accepting condolences at this time…Thanx to
everyone who commemorated– we can’t thank ’em all, but sure appreciated shout-outz from
shapely Spy Emerson, tempting Tina M. Salmon, pneumatic Pamela Lane, righteous
Randolph “Rocknar” Vance, the heavenly handful Holy Hemptress, sultry Sadie Lune/
Anomaly, lavish Leslie Alexander, jocose Jim Earp, phenomenal Phineas Narko, righteous
Robert Levy– great cake & no mistake —artistic & alluring Angela Knowles, dependable
David Doyle, sizzling Solar Lab– when does she get back from N.Y.? —bold Bill Kates,
steadfast Skot Kuiper, marvelous Miriam Telles, theologically-oriented TheFather of Time,
supernal Sister Krystyna Olsiewicz, demented Dale Larson, manly Mark Smith, japester
Jascha Ephraim, rumbustious Rob Coleman, kute Kim Jordan, original Orpheus Stain,
kurvaceous Khristina VanHall, fabulous Frannie Germeshausen, languid Louise
Jarmilowicz, hot-number Holly Hitch, luscious Lena Strayhorn, marksman Mars Elliot,
just-plain-gorgeous Janay Rose & ubiquitous Uriah Findley… the Nonchalant Cell &
Friends of curt Commander 14 & all you hard-working boys ‘n gals down at “Elect Harry S.
Robins for Congress 2010” –thanx for the enthusiasm, howe’er misplaced. And speaking of
thanks, ranks, patient Puzzling Evidence needs some– he gave us a digital camera so’s we
could follow in his size 17 footsteppz– & you can bet the farm he was at the Show again,
shooting us more for those You Tube entries of his on PuzEv TV, rite thru th’nite, to appear
beneath this site… like these most recent ones! Keep going– just drop your eyes down… on
down to these…

…AMAZING, AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
–on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show– HELCO from Burning Man ’96,
various festivals and performances of all your faves– as well as our stuff –from the links below. How?
How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just paste these
handy URLs into your browser. Child’s play. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…
Let’s start with Pete Goldie’s Science Report as we recapitulate our show, which first
took place November 20th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/10/9b10X8U7Dwc

Science has its day, the 19th Psalm and even an a cappella rendition of lyrics from
an extremely obscure musical show as we continue with the best moments shaved
from the ADH of November 20th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/9/UdozeN4f-Aw

And then a Rebuke to hoarders (of all things) distinguishes this minuscule mote
comprising a significant chunk of show on November 20th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/xbEENziL8zY

Incubi et Succubae concern us– both transitory stages of the same volant creature,
just one more Awesome Revelation served up by Ask Dr. Hal! on November 20th
(Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mi4pWmdyR8o

Bodily functions discussed with an air of unction before questing bumpkins on
that November 20th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/gOJQJemiIsQ

The Viking Code ends the Show, thanks be to Wotan…Gods, History and Church
forever….or until YouTube gives up the ghost. The last of November 20th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/BUr2XFfl4s0

The great Geoff Ellsworth of the Towne Dandies opens for us– see the highlights!
He’s amazing! –on November 13th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/16/9wiVQPSnivIThen Pete Goldie adds Science (Astronomy) to the History portion from Mr. Ellsworth’s
light-hearted opening 1-man revue to flavor our savory November 13th salad (Pt. 2), and
Dr. Hal adds an Invocation from the Bard:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/15/CZB5zAilD_o

Lovely Robin Coomer endures a KrOB Moment and a revolting, slimy swallop of (ugh)
Fernet… Also, His Grace, the Duke of Uke proves to be among us and is cajoled into an
impromptu turn on his signature instrument, the ukulele November 13th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/14/ni2sXf24yi8

Principal co-expressibility is illustrated by KrOB’s artistry, and more on (moron?) that
selfsame November 13th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/13/u7uQtvu3sbY

Robert Levy subjects himself to the KrOB Plunge; merriment ensues November 13th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/12/hkUp2yY1TRc

The Pleasure Saucers of the Sex Goddesses come in for a mention, and, BTW folks, we’ve
been to X-Day– several times –and those Goddesses are really real. So endeth the show,
with Sam Gamgee’s The Stone Troll, on November 13th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/11/lm9Jz0oINoY

A show without Pete Goldie– and a drunken Jarico Reese is drafted as scientist-in residence
on a hapless November 6th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/8/GS14DNjswSA

Then Dr. Hal recites Henley’s Invictus, and we’re off, that November 6th (Pt. 2):http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/7/Mm8pKOwNPWg

Things look up when distracting Jenner shows up, but Dr. Hal isn’t fast enough to answer.
Then we parse the Genesis of Bibendum November 6th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/6/-T_8UYYFeu8

I am Spy’s Brain is the Readers’ Digest article next summarized November 6th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/5/eW2vrao-CTE

Shelley’s apostrophe to the Skylark somehow is added to this non-homogenous mixture to
conclude the show of November 6th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=PuzzlingEvidenceTV#p/u/4/ntE3MS-fSeQ

See you at the exclusive
CHEZ POULET GALLERY-CABARET
3359 Army (Cesar Chavez St.) San Francisco, California
[Where Mission St. Joins Cesar Chavez]

Happening This Friday Night—

            Dec. 4th!