Ask Dr. Hal’s Notable 9th!
=== HAPPY NEW YEAR!===
THE OLD YEAR PASSES– COME SALUTE THE COMING YEAR
…on the Last Night of 2008 ! ! ! ! !
WEDNESDAY, Dec. 31st!
==PRESENTED ON OUR ALL-NEW STAGE==
The Famous Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
where SHOWTIME– more or less– BEGINS at around
THE SLAPDOWN– Admission: $10 -ISH
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
A S we cast away yet another year, when close friends gather
to make a more vivid stand against mortality, Ask Dr. Hal! and KrOB
present a stirring glimpse through aeons of Deep Time, whirling back
through cosmic cycles into the unfathomable Mysteries of the
Prehistoric past. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for a
fantastic primeval experience, when giant dinosaurs shook the earth
and Life walked hand in hand with Death. A young world, early in the
Morning of Time. Creatures… that sit… and wait. And Man. There are
not many Men yet– just a few tribes scattered across the face of the
wilderness. Superior to the creatures only in his cunning. Not to
mention Woman. She’s there too. Also, a dwarf, the shaman of the
tribe. The parents, the in-laws, the neighbors– you know, once you
add them all together you’ve got a thriving little community there.
And when they party, it goes on for hours and hours. You’ll see it all.
Brontosaurus– a moving mountain of flesh and bone. The mighty
sauropods of the Secondary Era. The lumbering, armored Stegosaurus,
of the ornithischian subgroup Thyreophora, or shield-bearers,
grotesquely adorned in his array of dorsal plates and caudal spikes.
The awesome carnivore Tyrannosaurus rex, one of cruel Nature’s most
fearsome monsters. The Earth erupts in Volcanic fury– and the
mountains fall. Oh, KrOB’s really pulled out all the stops with this one,
folks. You will gaze up at our giant screen in amazement, as you rush
through the temporal vortex, the fabric of the Universe splits asunder,
Time is annihilated– and earlier ages, long dead and buried, return
and live again. Also featuring a well-known Mexican comedian.
KrOB, San Francisco, Presents:
“ONE GODZILLION YEARS B.C.”
(Life-Forms of the Pre-Diluvian World)
…perhaps the Greatest KrOB “Edit.” EVER…
WE START… WITH A CLASSIC CARTOON!
Just before each performance begins, we screen a great animated cartoon–
each one seven minutes of the best theatrical shorts ever committed to film.
Last week we brought you, as promised, one of the best ever Max Fleischer
cartoons, the unforgettable Snow White (1933), directed for Dave Fleischer by
Roland Crandall. This week, our opening cartoon short is from MGM’s greatest
animation director, the legendary Tex Avery, called by many the King of
Cartoons. It’s Red Hot Riding Hood (1943). In 1994 it was voted #7 of The 50
Greatest Cartoons of all time by members of the animation field. The first of a
number of Avery’s similar cartoons which re-contextualize the story of Little Red
Riding Hood in the modern (mid-Twentieth Century) world, it has suffered over
the years from censorship problems; the overt, rampaging horniness of the
Wolf, the outrageous sexuality of Red, now a night-club singer, the over-the-top
desperation of man-chasing Grandma, and especially the suicide ending with
the Wolf blasting out his brains with not one but two guns at the same time
are details which have often caused the film to be mutilated or entirely suppressed.
Naturally, you won’t see the censor’s hand at work when we show it– we are, as
always, taking pains to give you the whole thing complete and uncut. Preston
Blair’s animation of the dancing, vamping Red is considered some of the best
character animation ever done. So join us this Wednesday night, won’t you?
–in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s once flourishing
but now mostly vanished popular culture. Remember, our show will start right
up at the very moment the cartoon ends. So be on time!
“This sensual adaptation of the old fairy story soon liberates its principals from
their cute Disney-style forest and slaps them right in the middle of swanky
Manhattan. Grandma’s a nymphomaniac swinger, and her rustic cottage home
a hip penthouse pad. Little Red has become a red-hot singer-stripper; the Wolf
is a model of lupine lechery; and the forest is supplanted by a big-city nightclub
as the enchanted place of forbidden sexuality.”
–Big Cartoon Forum
“Stunningly inventive, brilliantly funny and subversive cartoon from a team… at
the height of their creative powers.”
NEW YEAR’S EVE AT CHEZ POULET
Which is more important to you? Wednesday night– the night of Ask Dr. Hal!?
–or New Year’s Eve, the end of the last day of 2008? For it has come to pass in these
days, owing to the vagaries of the Gregorian Calendar, that both occupy the same
date. Now, perhaps you’re planning to be at some overcrowded, noisy,
ultra-expensive place where the New Year’s thing is running full blast, you have to
shout in the ear of the person next to you to be heard, and there’s no place to sit
down and even momentarily take a load off your poor, swollen feet. And if that’s your
cup of Gumbo, Bunky, then go for it! Come back and see us on one of our “regular”
nights. However, maybe you’d rather be with us tonight. After our show, you’ll still have
time to bolt out the door and race across town through streets dangerously crowded
with swerving drunks behind the wheel to get to whatever “high toned” swanky soirée
you feel is optimal. Joegh Bullock’s running another Anon Salon party, for example
(free publicity here) where even the DJ is paid more than ten grand. Of course you’ll
pay seventy-nine dollars ($79) American just to get in (ours is just the usual $10, or
whatever you can afford) and elbow your way through the sweaty crowd to the bar for a
stiff (-ly priced) drink. You know, it seems as if they may be trying to turn San Francisco
into New York over at Anon. But, so what? Money’ll be no object– after all, it’s only once
a year… Meanwhile, at our place, the cozy and convivial Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret,
you can settle in comfortably and hang with us as the year turns. KrOB will DJ and run
movie clips. There’ll be comfortable seating for all, so your pups won’t be a-barkin.’
Lift your Champagne glass high (you have to bring it– see below–) and/or line up under
the (printed-out picture of) mistletoe to smooch a bevy of beauties. And, if you’re at our
party, you can also…
VISIT OUR PORTABLE PEEP-SHOW BOOTH!
Helena Nolan brings us this special attraction. It’ll be in a truck parked right outside our
door. Just go on in and take a playful peek at the special Dada-ist Peep Show
thoughtfully provided. Some fun, huh, kids?
GUESS WHO? FRANK CHU!
Yes, Frank is back! And we’ve got him! At some time during our next show, and indeed
during every show, by special arrangement, the perennial protester/holy man, protest sign
grasped firmly in hand, the living institution after whose oracular rantings the late, great
12 Galaxies night club was named, will ascend the stage once again– and deliver a rapid-fire,
impassioned, incomprehensible bromide. You can rely on it (as the Talking 8-Ball says).
Go, Frank! We’ve even got him answering questions!
David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro provides a running visual commentary as the
show progresses. To see what that means, you’ve got to watch the guy in
action. IJ (Internet Jockey) Capurro, also known for his alter-identity Yo-Yo
Pro, one of the original Monsters of Yo-Yo and Master Yo-Yo Manipulator
extraordinaire, keeps the show connected to the digital world, all the while
scheming to bilk Chicken of as many free shots as his inserted questions can
receive, as they are rewarded in this curious fashion for their excellence and
entertainment value. What a sense of humor the guy has. But we guess you
really have to be there to appreciate this. So, be there!
FOR PETE’S SAKE! SPACE IS THE PLACE!
Learn’d Astronomer and Boffo Boffin Pete Goldie provokes and stimulates with
his unrivaled Stellar Peep-Show. Yes, these are gorgeous Heavenly Bodies,
Ladies and Germs, nakedly exposed against the velvet curtain of Space,
burning and blazing in the depths of Eternal Night. A quondam NASA consultant,
Pete’s also a raconteur, artificer and craftsman, and a delver into mysteries of
Natural Philosophy. The well-known bon vivant and astro-science specialist gives
us astonishing pictures from worlds never before viewed by human eyes–
containing information on Outer Space and what may be found there. He’s got a
nifty little model of the Cassini-Huygens Probe that you’ll see at the show, the
amazing, far-travelling spacecraft that our pal Paul Pot perpetually toils over, refining
its intricacies. Yes, something’s always happening in Space these days– and sure
as Entropy, Pete’s going to be telling each and every one of us al-l-l-l about it.
CHICKEN JOHN SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! show in a brand new
location: my living room. It’s 4 guys doing improv on 4 different
levels. It can be amazing.”
NOT A BAR– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!
So there won’t be any booze for sale, OK? We don’t do the show in a bar any
more, so, it’s OK to drink, but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of
course, good questions will still be rewarded in the traditional manner– with that
old standby, Fernet Branca, TM –the “Miracle Liquor.” That’s how Paul Pot and
David “Cappy” Capurro do it– and that’s the one way you can still get a drink
at Ask Dr. Hal!
THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW – FEATURING FRANK CHU – CHICKEN JOHN – DR. HAL – KrOB –
PETE GOLDIE – DAVID CAPURRO – ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED – BARDIC
RECITATIONS – FERNET GIVEAWAYS – CARTOONS – KrOB MONSTER CLIP EDITS – WITH
OUR VERY SPECIAL GUESTS THOSE ROOF-DWELLING HILLBILLIES THE “PO’BUCKETS”
DONATION TEN DOLLARS OR SO – AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN COME – OUR DOORMAN
ROBERT LEVY WILL GLOM YOUR DOUGH AS YOU CROSS OUR THRESHOLD. BE HERE
FOR NEW YEAR’S. COME ALL, COME ONE, NEW SHOW, NEW RUN…
At this, the changing of the year
We raise aloft a cup of cheer
To all our friends at Chez Poulet
Who come to see us each Wednesday,
And even those who’ve not yet tried
Our show where it now does abide:
To Amacker Bullwinkle, we
Extend our best felicity,
Angela Knowles we toast as well,
And to Amanda Jensen’s spell;
and Attaboy commend in turn,
Baba Lou Orlowski too
And Baby Doe– we think of you.
Of Barbara Traub and Barbara Fried
We’ll sing the praises far and wide;
We Becky Stevenson adore
And send our love unto Blake More,
Chris Campbell, and to Robert Burke,
And Elwyn Crawford, nor shall shirk
To hail Chris Carney, fellow showman,
Christian Lunch and Donna Bowman,
Delectable Dawn Stott, Claire Mack,
David Doyle and D.S. Black,
Deb Sherman, Dee Dee Russell, Hollis,
Danny Girl and Ena Dallas,
Danny Rathbun, enciente Nieves,
Kelek, who’s Becky S.’s sis,
Simon Cheffins, Dominic Reo
And Karen, Edith Harbaugh, Leo,
Dixie de la Tour and Rusty
Blazenhoff, Silke Tudor, trusty
Duncan D’nuts and Alex O’Leary;
Of Freddi Price we’re never weary.
Lilli, too, gets our attention,
Nor would we forget to mention
Ed Holmes, known as Bishop Joey,
Eileen Hassi, distant Cloe,
Gabrielle, bartender Flash,
Francine Bennett, Eric Cash,
Frank Chu and his protest sign,
David Capurro and his twine,
Harley Dubois and Heather Vescent,
Helena Stoddard (always pleasant),
Katy Bell, Kimric, Kellita,
Helena Nolan, June, Anita,
Jascha Ephraim, Georgia Axton,
Tend’rest bartender, Jean Blacksten,
Jenner, Windy, fair Jess Bruder,
Jim Fourniadis, that square-shooter,
Erin of the Dark Room; no one’s
Leaving out Cameron Eng, Sean Owens,
Joegh Bullock, John Hell and Jim Mason,
John Law, Joyful Simpson; hasten
To include Jon Alloway
Justin Credible, Janay
Growden (and her brother Mark)
And Krista Bray; we shall remark
KrOB, forever at his station,
Lady Bee, desert sensation,
Larry Harvey in his Stetson,
Lena Strayhorn, and our bet’s on
Fetching Lera Boroditsky
Whether we toast in wine or whiskey.
Let us also praise Jaye Spencer,
Linda Robertson, Lynn Rubenzer,
Louise Jarmilowicz, Mary P.
And M.I. Blue, Violet, Mieke,
Aaron and Bronwyn Ximm, the Ximlet
And who else? Our mind is dim-lit.
Now with vodka mix’d with Red Bull
Watch us drink to Justin Cred’ble,
Leslie Sternbergh, A. Alexander,
Puzzling Evidence, commander
Of Radio’s concealed attraction,
and Anna Fitch of “Extra Action.”
Brian Goggin too we toast,
Marlowe Riley, and we host
All good thoughts for our Marcia Crosby,
Melissa Margolis, and toss we
Down –why not? –just one more “quickie,”
To both Shirleys, John and Micky,
Mark Bodé, his good wife Molly,
Even Michael Heath, by golly,
Michael Peppe, Miriam, Momo
Mr. Lucky, major-domo
of all that’s cool, laid back and retro,
Mikl-em, Danielle E. and Pietro.
Molitov Malcontent, Mongoloid,
Monica Maduro, Boyd,
Rick Abruzzo, Annie Coulter,
Cabbie Johnny, Carla Holder,
Dr. Monkey, Pamela Holm
And Paul Pot too– we will extol ’em.
As well, Astronomer Pete Goldie
And Sarah Szczechowicz extolled be,
Little Daria included,
To find of drink our glass denuded.
Then let us down at least one stirrup
cup in praise of Mable Syrup,
Rhiannon Charisse, Perstephanie,
Phineas Narco, Phillip, Tiffany,
Philo Drummond, Ivan Stang,
Wei and the whole SubGenius gang,
Phoenix, Jenny Jo and kids,
Mark Mcgothigan– thanks for the “vids,”
Miriam too, Adams (Melinda)
Rachel Weidinger and Cynda,
Bug Girl, Kaye, that kute Kate Willett–
Watch out! You nearly made me spill it!
Reeling now, our thirst we drown,
Tossing another bumper down
To Robert Levy, Reverend Billy,
Ron Turner and “Mission St. Willie,”
Jen Alexander, Kiko Aumond,
Jessy Face, of whom we’re so fond,
Phil Darnowsky, Robin Frohardt
And Scott Beale– for them, we’ll go for’t.
Lori Dorn as well we’re praising,
Rosanna Scimeca– amazing!
And Zoli, of him there’s no carbon
Copy, likewise Sarah Harbin,
Spy Emerson and consort Moses
And little Lucky– each who knows us.
We’ll drink now to that true sensation
Robin Coomer of Loop! Station,
Who makes all our senses tingle
As aloft her pure notes mingle
With Sam Bass’s talking Cello,
And to that engaging fellow
Rudy Rucker, Rudy Jr.
And Sylvia; now with me do tune your
Voice in song, in praise of Solar–
To the heavens we’ll extol her–
While we drain one more Martini
To Winston Smith or Tom Fannini,
Steven Ra$pa, King of Bunnies,
Jamie Pickard and other honeys:
Susan Staley, Tarin Towers,
Ty McKenzie– and our powers
Fail at adding here a homily
Fit for Sadie, called Anomaly.
Uriah Findley let us mention,
Bobby Peru and our intention
‘S not to forget our ol’ pal Tyler,
An’ Vicki Olds– what a beguiler.
Sonjia Miles as well– where is she?
Must sit down– We’re getting dizzy–
But we remember Geoffrey Smart,
Raechel Velouria and Bart,
Violet, Extra Action’s drummer
And comely Burkes– they call her Summer,
Shannon and Kathy, Susie the Floozie,
Who-oops! That las’ one was a doozy.
We’ll toast, with o-o-ne more shot of rye,
Spain Rodriguez– what a guy–
Paul Mavrides, Mimi Heft,
And Zero Boy– we know we left
Out far too many, thereby sinnin’
But the room just won’ stop spinnin’.
Oh, yeah– We’ll pile just one more on
to raise a glass to Chicken John.
So Happy New Year, one and all,
As off along the floor we crawl.
And if we die right now, that’s fine–
We’ll never miss Two Thousand Nine.
AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to
Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from
previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming!
And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there
in person! How? Why, just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs.
Gaze now at this exceptional edit, excerpted from our recent December 24th
performance (Pt. 1):
Behold the second half of the excerpt of the show on December 24th (Pt. 2):
Scope out outre out-takes from our December 17th serendipitous show:
View tantalizing excerpts from our December 10th show. Try clicking on this:
See excerpts from our December 3rd show. Click on this, or, if that doesn’t
work just cut and paste it into your browser:
Audit choice fragments from our November 26th show on You
Tube, courtesy of Puzzling Evidence. SEE Chicken unfairly
berate KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield even
than usual in his meandering “answers” to several questions.
Just go to:
Peer at clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those cuss-words. Go to:
The endless-seeming Election Period is now, at last, behind us. For
those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow, check
out this ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video
clip from the ADH Pirate Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete
“Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance of special guests
Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi
McTaint. Go to:
See you Wednesday night!