ASK DR. HAL’S FOURTH DIMENSION!
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008FOURTH SMASH WEEK!
ASK DR. HAL! Is Back–
WE’RE BREAKING ALL RECORDS!
WEDNESDAY, Nov. 26th!
It’s Time to Come and Visit a Popular Favorite Again
=====SEE OUR ALL-NEW STAGE========
The Fabulous Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
3359 Cesar Chavez St.
(Army) Street between Mission and South Van Ness. Just on the
edge of Bernal Heights. The old Odeon Neighborhood.
THIS WEEK:
CAN YOU HACK KrOB’S GIANT
LUNAR CATERPILLAR ATTACK?
Moon Megalo-lepidopteran Larva Lunges,
Lurches after Anomalous Astronauts
Just suppose the Moon is hollow, or at least honeycombed with tunnels
(Actually it is hollow; just ask Pete Goldie). Now suppose that in some
of these tunnels weird vegetation grows, a kind of giant fungus (since
such plants are not getting energy from sunlight). And suppose that there
in those caverns, eating those outsized fungi, are equally outsized life
forms resembling hundred-foot-long caterpillars, known familiarly as
Mooncalves. All right so far? Now let us suppose that two hapless
human explorers encounter a Moon Cow munching such a snack.
Then, almost immediately, they’re surprised (unpleasantly) by a Moon
Bull, an irritable, overly territorial male of the species. threateningly
bellowing and snapping its mandibles. What would happen? What
then? Well, Pilgrim, we know where you can go, and when, to find
out the answer.
Last week’s show featured KrOB’s thrilling footage of a pair of colossal
centipedes and their shenanigans on a lost, prehistoric island. But this
was still really just the infancy of a series which never flinches to provide
the entertainment value inherent in the presentation of outsized
arthropods. Those who may be overly sensitive to such material are
advised to turn away or shade their eyes. It’s “showbiz” –pure
entertainment — and it’s all happening right here– at the famed
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret
where SHOWTIME ALWAYS BEGINS AT
=9:00 PM=
WE MEAN IT THESE DAYS– WE REALLY DO…
THE SLAPDOWN
Admission to the Ask Dr. Hal! show in its newest form? That’s
$10 -ISH
A donation to support the enterprise, now in its 12th year.
An unavoidable, if regrettable necessity in turbulent times
of economic collapse and a harsh, unforgiving fiscal climate.
A vote of confidence, if you will. Keep Chicken afloat. Support
the Arts. Give what you can. And may the spirit of charity dwell
in your heart. Now fork over, cheapskate!
WE START… WITH A CLASSIC CARTOON!
Just before each performance begins, we screen a great animated
cartoon– each one seven minutes of the best theatrical shorts ever
committed to film. Last week we showed Tex Avery’s great Warner’s
Merrie Melodies short, I Love to Singa (1936). What a great cartoon
–even Chicken liked it. This week’s cartoon was going to be shown
with the season in mind, but Dr. Hal and KrOB just couldn’t locate an
available copy, in time for our next show, of the overpoweringly
Thanksgiving-themed Tom Turk and Daffy (1939). You know, we
spend quite a lot of time selecting the cartoon which now opens each
show. Tom Turk and Daffy was our first choice, but no dice. So, we’re
back to what we originally announced we were showing anyway– back to
the anarchic Bob Clampett and his 1944 WWII classic, Russian
Rhapsody. We’re fanatical Clampett fans here at ADH, as readers of
this space are well aware. This cartoon features an unusual lead
character– yes, it stars none else than Adolf Hitler. So join us this
Wednesday night for this Hit-larious opening featurette, wherein the
German dictator attempts to fly his plane to bomb Moscow personally,
but is stymied by some odd-looking Gremlins from the Kremlin (heh,
heh, heh). Our show will start the moment after the cartoon ends.
“Aside from the tripped-out Clampett-esque effects, I also like the
‘Gremlins From The Kremlin’ song… it’s worth your time and money
to… try to track this cartoon down.”
Angel-Marie, IMDB User Comments
DR. HAL’S BIRTHDAY
Two days after the show is Dr. Hal’s Birthday, November 28th. There
may creep in a birthday theme from time to time during the performance,
according to some members of the Ask Dr. Hal! team. This should not
greatly impact the shape of the evening, and will only provide more
opportunity for good fellowship, raillery, mirth and merriment. No one will
be required or encouraged to sing a certain overly-familiar tune, four lines
in length. But it is hoped that good wishes may be offered in situ.
GUESS WHO? FRANK CHU!
Yes, Frank is back! And we’ve got him! Before every show, by special
arrangement, the perennial protester/holy man, protest sign grasped firmly
in hand, the living institution after whose oracular rantings the late, great
12 Galaxies night club was named, will ascend the stage once again– and
deliver a rapid-fire, impassioned, incomprehensible bromide. You can bank
on it.
SCIENCE ON THE MARCH!
ADH Science expert Pete Goldie was indisposed last week, so we were
deprived of his tour through the starry heavens. But we promise he’ll be there
this week, leading loyal attendees through the endless reaches of the
universe in his continuing segment, “Waste(s) of Space.” Maybe this time
he’ll show us more from the Cassini-Huygens Probe‘s newest roster of
discoveries. The roaming robot spacecraft actually completed its latest
flyby of Titan on Nov. 19, during the Ask Dr. Hal! Show itself, passing that
Saturnian moon at an altitude of 1,023 kilometers (636 miles). During the
close pass, the Visual and Infrared Mapping Spectrometer (VIMS) was
able, we hear, to image the region around the Huygens landing site at a
resolution of less than a kilometer per pixel. VIMS (and several other
instruments) also observed atmospheric composition and structure, while
Cassini’s fields and particles instruments focused on Titan’s interaction with
Saturn‘s magnetosphere and the solar wind. So come here– and hear Pete
tell you a-a-l-l-l about it…
COMPUTER FREEBOOTER
David “Yo-Yo Pro” Capurro will be on hand, serving up accompanying
images (usually) scraped up from the benthic bottom of the Internet. You
might not think so, but the guy actually practices some restraint on behalf
of our show– as bad as what he usually puts up on our screen is, he’s
pullin’ his punches, folks– let’s just say, if he wanted to, it could be worse–
a lot worse. And tonight might be the night he gives in to temptation. But
see for yourself. As “Cappy’s” fingers fly over the keyboard you will be unable
to avoid the horrendous, stomach-churning, hyper-pornographic results,
on our
MULTIPLE MONITOR SCREENS
It’s a ring-tailed Multi-Media Experience, is what it is.
CHICKEN JOHN SEZ:
“Hey, everybody– come see the Ask Dr. Hal! show in a brand new
location: my living room. It’s 4 guys doing improv on 4 different levels.
It can be amazing.”
NOT A BAR, NOT A BAR
So there won’t be any booze for sale this time, OK? BRING YOUR OWN.
We encourage you to. Of course, good questions will still be rewarded in
the traditional manner– with Fernet Branca, TM
–the “Miracle Liquor.”
THE ASK DR. HAL! SHOW – FEATURING FRANK CHU – CHICKEN JOHN –
DR. HAL – KrOB – PETE GOLDIE – DAVID CAPURRO – WITH SPECIAL
GUESTS THE “PO’BUCKERS”– SPY, MOSES AND LUCKY – ROBERT
LEVY AT THE DOOR – DONATION TEN DOLLARS OR SO – COME ALL,
COME ONE, NEW SHOW, NEW RUN…
ABOUT KrOB AND GIANT MOON-BUGS
Last week KrOB brought to our big screen a skittering infestation of
agitated entomology as he featured, among the usual dinosaurs, not
one but two of the horrendous giant centipedes known as Megapede
dereponecis. This week he takes you literally out of this world to the
Lunar interior, where we encounter two more monstrous monster
myriapods. So you thought last week’s monster centipedes were a tad
outsized at 5 feet (1.5 meters long)? Get a load of the multi-leggers
he’s got this week– these un-Earthly crawlers average out at 100 feet
(30.5 meters) –with girth to match! Not Terrestrial organisms at all– they
are a different clay— these Moon calves are so large that even in the
Moon’s one-sixth gravity they need, and have (as we shall see) an
internal “skeleton” as well as their own version of the standard
arthropod chitinous carapace. They are grown as livestock, you know,
by the Moon’s inhabitants, or Selenites. Oh yes, we’ll see something of
them, too. Narrated by Dr. Hal. Scientific, cosmopolitan, educational. You
know the drill…
SOCIAL NOTES
We had to hold the curtain a little for stragglers, but the house for our
third outing was satisfyingly full, with old friends and new settling in
to take in the show. Tweak, Dylan, Benito Pasolini, Kneel Stephenson
(we get it) & Jeff Dommer got right into the spirit of things, lobbing
questions like long-time fellow-travelers… Gnarl Sagan wanted to know
what’s with the giant hexagonal Mystery Structure at Saturn‘s North Pole;
too bad ADH Astronomer Royal Pete Goldie caught a bit of a bug and had
to stay home, but we did our best to respond… Mo Moreau was concerned
for the Future of Biotech (until we brought her some relief with our answer)…
Homey Holmes, Nacho Marx & Michael had some good ones… Rabbit
wanted to know when Planet X is expected to enter our Solar System. Are
you sure you didn’t mean the planet Mongo? That peripatetic planet travels;
Planet X doesn’t… We also noted The Dark Room’s own righteous
Rhiannon Charisse, in attendance with “supermom” meritorious Mable
Syrup… Point Arena‘s poet Blake More paid us a visit with can-do swain
& quondam Odeon Cocaine All-Stars drummer Chris “Sticks” Campbell,
while Lloyd Mongoloid, another headliner, put in his appearance squiring
captivating consort Charlie… ADH also welcomed Zoli, a.k.a. Yoni
Wannaleiya of the famed Wink n’ Yoni Show; he brought along Kate,
which was great, and easy-on-the-eyes ravishing Rosanna Scimeca also
put in an always-welcome appearance… Power couple Dan Rathbun &
Nieves Hagmeier took in the show– most readers of This Space know
that for them the Blessed Event should be very soon (she’s got a (Rath)bun
in the oven… Natch, no show could be complete without Gentleman Farmer
Paul Pot, whose generous tithings of Agricultural Samples always rev up
our post-show proceedings. He never brings Canine American companion
Jabba any more, but maybe that’s just acknowledging that at the old
Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret the one & only Dammit the Wonder-Dog
rules the roost… Puzzling Evidence now makes a point of being there every
time & usually puts up You Tube excerpts of our show– see URLs below…
Kaptivating Kaye came to play, & that’s OK– so did torrid Tracy Feldstein,
straight from a Kaffee Klatsch with the redoubtable Rev. David Apocalypse…
Altogether a great bunch of guys & dolls… As for us, we plan to be there
for awhile. That’s right! Now that we’re booking the show ourselves, in its
own performance space, no harried rock club owner can “suddenly” recall
that one of our show dates is pre-empted by a thoughtlessly booked
Rutabaga Junkies concert, benefit for a Sexual Predator’s Bicycle Accident
or other seemingly more profitable enterprise… It goes on the boards every
Wednesday at 9:00 PM, and that is that. We at Chicken John
Productions are keeping track of the fact that there are those who need to
catch the last B.A.R.T. train at 12:17 AM from the 24th St. Mission Station
back to the wilds of the East Bay. Translation: these days we start earlier.
We really do. Ask anyone… And try to get there before 9:00 PM, or you might
miss the cartoon, invalidating all our work…
WILL WE BE BROADCAST ON PIRATE CAT RADIO?
If you see PCR‘s own Dr. Monkey lurking around with a computer, a
microphone, and 50 yards of cable, he must be finally getting around
to capturing the show for broadcast on his station, Pirate Cat. The
plan is that these shows will then be available to invalids and shut-ins.
Thoughtful, eh? This space will provide advice on what time to tune in
to this radio broadcast at 87.9 FM. We’re as anxious as you are to
receive this information. And, when we get it, we’ll pass it right along
to you. ‘Nuff said.
AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS
View some of the hi-lites from last week’s show on You Tube,
courtesy of Puzzling Evidence. SEE Chicken unfairly berate
KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield even than
usual in his meandering “answers” to several questions.
Just go to:
See clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those cuss-words. Go to:
The endless-seeming Election Period is now, at last, behind us. For
those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow, check
out this ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video
clip from the ADH Pirate Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete
“Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance of special guests
Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi
McTaint. Go to:
See you Wednesday night!