IT’S OUR LAST SHOW (UNTIL LATE JULY)!

“…a fully entertaining 2.5 hour evening of endless variety.”
–Dawn Stott
“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0:
Conversations with Dr. Hal!”
=== N U M B E R    S E V E N ===
NOW APPEARING AT
The J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall
in
S.P.A.C.E.
(Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise)
354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom)      
EAST BAY ASK DR. HAL! FANS TAKE NOTE: 3 BLOCKS SOUTH
OF THE POWELL ST. B.A.R.T. STATION; 2 BLOCKS SOUTH OF
MISSION ON 5TH. NEAR MISSION, BUT NOT IN THE MISSION…
WEDNESDAY, June 24th! THE LAST WEDNESDAY IN JUNE…
N I N E - T H I R T Y P.M.     

THE PRE-SHOW begins around Nine.

We start as close to that time as we can,

but so many of our audience tend to show up

after the hour that we usually
aren’t able to start until after 9:30 PM.
WE CLOSE before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to make
it in time to catch the last train to the Powell St. BART Station, 3 blocks North
of the J. R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall.
Admission $10.00

or what you can… no one turned away…

AND TUNE IN!

OUR SHOW IS NOW, AT LAST BROADCAST LIVE
on FCC FREE RADIO, 107.3 FM
– San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station!

Listen this Wednesday!

                  The Dr. Hal Report    
Vol. X                                                  No. 7

Across the sky
And down from heaven.

That’s the way
To make a seven.  

–Mrs. Flanagan’s Kindergarten

THIS WEEK:
MICHAEL PEPPE WILL WIELD CHICKEN’S HEFTY GAVEL LIKE THOR’S HAMMER -
CLAIRE MACK & JESSY ROADKILL, SMOKING HOT STARS & GARTERS SIRENS
TO SET ADH 2.0 STAGE ABLAZE WITH RAMBUNCTIOUS ROCK-OUT - LETTERS
UNFETTERED - NAY-SAYERS UNHORSED - DR. HAL REPORT ENDORSED - DR.
HAL IS YOUR PAL - RADIO DAZE - CHICKEN’S HOME, BUT APPARENTLY IN
HIDING - KrOB ON THE JOB - CAN YOU MASTER THE CHUMASTER? FRANK
CHU WON’T SUE - PETE GOLDIE– HIS CASE FOR SPACE - EARTH PLANS TO
VIOLATE MOON UNSPEAKABLY - NO DRINKS FOR SALE (OFFICIALLY- WINK-
WINK) - SOCIAL NOTES: LULLED BY DR. HAL’S LULLABY; SNOOZEWORTHY
SNOREFEST -  PARADE O’ PULCHRITUDE - BRING YOUR MOM TO ASK DR. HAL
2.0 DAY - BRING YOUR INFANT DAUGHTER TO ASK DR. HAL 2.0 DAY -  ROBERT
LEVY HOLDS THE REINS - STILL  COUNTER-PROGRAMMING  THE JEJUNEIST CULT:
LISTEN ALONG TO COMMANDER 14 OF NONCHALANCE’S BROADCAST 24-7
IN UPPER DOLORES PARK WHILE IT LASTS - YOKED EVEN MORE WITH YOU TUBE;
PUZZO’S NUDEST CLIPS WILL MAKE YOU SEE STARS (& GARTERS); NEW VIEWS OF
OLD & (MORE) RECENT SHOWS…

THIS WEEK’S FINAL FAMOUS ‘GUEST CHICKEN’
IN OUR ROTATING SERIES OF HOSTS WILL BE…
Michael Peppe!
[BUBBA FREE IM-HO-PEP]
Yes!  Performance Art Legend takes Ringmonster Chicken John’s seat!
‘Back in the 80’s, Michael Peppe began a unique kind of experimental performance art based on
the ideas that “all human behavior is musically composable” and that “our definition of music is
merely a cultural definition.”
‘He calls it “Behaviormusik,” and it consists of words in foreign languages, poetry, prayers,
impressions, comedy, dialects, movie cliches, facial expressions, gestures, dance, chants, jazz,  rock, pop, hymns, TV themes, “facemusik” (mouth noises, like whistling and nonsense babbling),
and whatever else he throws into the mix.
‘Behaviormusik has no overall meaning or theme, but is “tied together in a stream-of-consciousness”
and “constructed in a way so that it reaches certain musical, theatrical, choreographic, and poetic
climaxes.”
‘Unlike film, a poetry reading, or opera, Peppe doesn’t attempt to force an emotional response or point
of view onto his audience.  Each individual’s reaction should be a purely subjective experience. He
was obviously influenced by the Absurdist art movement.  “No matter how abstract you make
something, no matter how random you make it appear, people will always get meaning out of it.”
‘If you’ve ever seen Waiting for Godot, you have a good idea of what Absurdist art is about.  Absurdists
will do just about anything and call it “art,” and if you don’t understand it, that’s because it’s
purposefully meant to be meaningless, which makes it absurd… and that’s the point.’
–Michelle, My Underground Secret Society: 

Summary of an Interview from Peter Belsito’s
Notes From the Pop Underground (1985)
With…
the MUSICAL SENSATION…
Claire MACK & Jessy ROADKILL !
Sensational SIRENS of STARS & GARTERS
BEAUTEOUS BALLADEERS; ROADKILL & MACK TAKE NO PRISONERS!

And with…
UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
PREHISTORIC PORKY (1940)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
In “One Billion, Trillion B.C.,” cave-dweller Porky Pig starts his day by playing
catch with his pet dinosaur, Rover. Then, he reads the latest issue of “Expire”
(The Magazine for Cave Men), which informs him that his animal-skin clothing
is out of date. There is nothing else for Porky to do but go hunting for a new
Spring wardrobe, an expedition which leads to a dangerous encounter with
an inordinately surly black panther. We at Ask Dr. Hal 2.0: Conversations With
Dr. Hal would rather watch a cartoon directed by animation genius Bob Clampett
than one made by anybody else. See why in this elegant, light-hearted and, above
all, hilarious black-and-white masterpiece. The show starts immediately afterward.

“Clampett keeps the action moving so that nearly every
scene is a hoot. I recommend it.”
–Lee Eisenberg
Also with…
HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
THE DINOSAUR IN THE CATHEDRAL!
MESOZOIC DEITY PROFANES & DESTROYS CHRISTIAN SANCTUARY!
A PARABLE IN PREHISTORIC PREDESTINATION -

NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED

KrOB now turns our attention to a battle between gods old and new, as an amazing
robin’s-egg blue theropod, called Gwangi by a clandestine society of Mexican
Gypsies, his acolytes, strides into an enormous, elaborate cathedral at the
climax of this, KrOB’s latest “edit.” After invisible actinic god-rays fly back and
forth, the saurischian carnosaur is distracted, fatally, by a warning growl from
the church’s mighty organ, and painfully receives a wound from a flagpole-spear
penetrating his right tympanum. The supernormal contretemps is resolved,
Ragnarok-style, with flowers of consuming, purifying fire. More stop-motion
animation from Ray Harryhausen, whom we love, admire and revere.
Aside from all this, remember that tonight’s caustic parable of reptilian yearning
and revenge– part of our bill at the “Ask Dr. Hal 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal”  show this upcoming Wednesday night, June 24th at S.P.A.C.E., San Francisco’s
BOLD NEW Variety Arts Showcase at 354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom), is all courtesy
of the master movie archivist, KrOB and just one small fractal fragment of the totality
to be experienced at our unique and well-travelled night club show; once more we
bring its unusual brand of conviviality and information to an outré but receptive audience.

LETTERS DEPT.
Still more letters objecting generally to our stripped-down Special “Austerity” Edition
of The Dr. Hal Report (and specifically to the letter from Mr. $_____ R____ of this City)
are coming in. To date, all support the longer, standard version of this Bulletin that
Mr. R____ whined about (see The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. X, Nos. 5 & 6) apparently actually
preferring this mammoth e-document with its discursive animadversions and digressions
to a shorter version more compatible with short attention spans and Twitter.
Mr. Jim Khennedy of S. F. writes,
“You know, I am one who is frequently humiliated because I don’t examine documents
(especially instructions) closely enough – and even I find it impossible to miss the glaring
time and date information at your top end… I think you’re taking the annoying buzzing of
the flea-brained “Mr. $_____ R____” and his kith & kin a bit too much to heart.  The world
is crowded with idiots and assouls – it does no one who matters any good to kow-tow to the
limitations of the lowest common denominator.”
Then there was this from Carla Nucci of Berkeley, Ca.:
“Please, Dr. Hal, PLEASE don’t shorten a single word of your darling newsletter! I never had
trouble finding the info. That mean old $_____ R_____ must have been having a bad hair day!
If I do any ‘digging’ [Ed. note: Mr. R____ complained about having to “dig through” the Report
to retrieve the essential information: who, what, where, cost and so on] it’s ’cause I’m looking for
something that made me laugh the first time I read it!”
After serious consideration, we have decided to retain our old format for these, the faithful few. But
remember, all the essential information is at the top. Below the place where it says, “The Dr. Hal Report,” everything else is description. The needed information is, and always is,
at the top, the first part of the message. The rest is for people who want to know more. At the
bottom we still provide the You Tube links with which you can view past episodes.

CONSULTING DR. HOWLAND OWLL
“DR.” HAL: MOLDY MOUNTEBANK with DEBATABLE DOCTORATE or INSPIRING INNOVATOR effortlessly ENTERTAINING with INORDINATE INTELLIGENCE? Questions answered, concerns
addressed– a personal Ministry. Come and see for yourself. Bardic Episodes remain an unavoidable
side effect. Private consultations available. No refunds.
Read the latest interview with Dr. Hal on Laughing Squid’s Blog:
http://laughingsquid.com/a-conversation-with-hal-robins/

“ASK DR. HAL 2.0 — CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL!”
–BROADCAST LIVE ON FCC FREE RADIO!” FINALLY!

On S.F.’s newest Pirate radio station,
FCC Free Radio, each episode of the show is now also a live radio broadcast heard around the
world.

Tune us in at 107.3 FM, San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station, starting at or around
9:30 PM.

KrOB ON THE JOB!
What can one say… his vision is unique… he accepts no compromises… without him, we’re
nothing… KrOB surfs the waves of principal co-expressibility with a master’s touch, teasing the
ear and eye with an ever-new, evolving synthesis of elements drawn from the whirlpool of
popular culture. And, he’s got one hell of a sense of humor. Sometimes he wears a funny hat.

ME, YOU & FRANK CHU!
Say, have you ever wanted to put up your own personal “message” on Frank Chu’s famous
Sign? Thanks to the latest sensation on-line– the Acme Chumaker, the timely invention of web-
wizard Jef Poskanzer, you can add your own message right up there with the traditional indictment
of the hostile 12 Galaxies!

Leah Garchik of The San Francisco Chronicle highlighted this time-has-
come feature in her column on the 14th of May. Just go to

acme.com/chumaker

& see for yourself…
Meanwhile, we’ve got the real McCoy! In fact, he never left! Whatever happens, as sure as the Lord
made little green apples, the Emperor Norton of our own time, who regularly appears at our show
to deliver his Message, will be there! Most of the time, anyway. And the tangled tale of Frank Chu,
told in these pages (See The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX, Nos. 14, 15 & 16), may come to include some
additional chapters. Like the original Norton, Frank is shown certain deference by the discriminating,
given free meals and so on. We will always welcome Frank Chu at Ask Dr. Hal! See him right now,
if you want to, in the Puzzling Evidence video clip of our February 25th show (Part 2) by cutting and pasting the link you’ll find down there in the Monstrous Column of URLs at the bottom of The Dr. Hal Report into your browser…

PETE GOLDIE SETS THE PACE– THROUGH SPACE!
Astronomer and Boffo Boffin Pete Goldie each week brings us new discoveries in Space Science
and the cosmos. Perhaps this time he’ll explain the intricacies of NASA’s first Moon shot in a decade,
launched Thursday from Cape Canaveral, Florida, which sent up a pair of unmanned Science probes
that will help determine where astronauts could land and set up the planned Moon Base favored by George
W. Bush and current U.S. President B. H. Obama. The mission is a first step in NASA’s effort to return
humans to the moon by 2020.
The liftoff occurred just one month and two days shy of the 40th anniversary of the first Lunar footprints,
made by the heroes of the 1969 Lunar landing disputed only by contentious, Benzedrine-popping
rednecks and assorted under-educated cranks– and, of course, also by global-warming denier Chicken John.
Scientists cheered as the Atlas V rocket carrying the two spacecraft blasted off in late afternoon, ascending
through heavy circling clouds and providing an exhilarating start to the $583 million mission.  The two spacecraft should reach the Moon in four to five days­- or by early next week. One will enter into an
orbit around the Moon for a mapping mission. The other will swing past the Moon and go into an elongated
orbit around Earth that will put it on course to crash into a crater at the Moon’s south pole in October.
NASA expects the dramatic moon-impacting part of the mission to be, as it claimed in a recent release with
characteristically ponderous humor, “a smashing success.” (Get it?) It’s a quest to determine whether frozen
water is buried in one of the permanently shadowed craters. Water would be a tremendous resource for thirsty
astronauts. If there’s enough, it could possibly provide an ingredient in fuel for space trips which wouldn’t have
to be dragged up through Earth’s costly gravity well. It’s an unusual two-for-one Moon shot.
The Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter will provide a high-precision, three-dimensional map of the Lunar
surface. It will circle the Lunar poles and, via its seven science instruments, provide a new Atlas of the Moon
as well as a guidebook for future explorers.
The second probe, called the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, will be aiming for a spectacular
smashup that should be visible from the United States.
As the hurtling probe bashes into the delicate inner structures of the crater, unmolested for uncounted millions
of years, a huge cloud of ejected Lunar material, including the water ice, now wasted for all eternity, will boil
up miles high in the Moon’s one-sixth Earth gravity. The impact at the bottom of the shadowed crater from this act
of cosmic vandalism from  the satellite’s spent upper-stage Centaur rocket, more than 5,000 pounds (2,270
kilograms) of dead weight careening in at 5,600 mph (9,000 kph), will make a blast wave not unlike that of a
moderate-yield nuclear bomb of between six to seven megatons. And unassuming Pete is party to these and
other secrets, which he’ll relay to you. That’s right– privileged information.
And he does it all with sardonic humor, dry wit and rhetorical flair. Some people’s favorite part of the
show. He ends by showing the latest picture– of his daughter, Daria.

NO BAR FOR NOW– BUT YOU CAN DRINK! (JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
We expect eventually, in our future shows, to provide a full bar. We are by no means “teetotalers”
at Ask Dr. Hal! — far from it. Yet those who have been attentive to recent headlines can understand
that there is now ongoing a wide-ranging crusade from Mayor Newsom and his apparatchiks to close
down all night spots and evening venues of “unapproved” entertainment whose sponsors have been
unequal to surmounting a labyrinthine “permit process–” and in forking over the more than hefty “fees”
the militant social-engineering “goo-goos” have imposed. To be brief, you can’t scratch your nose in
this burg without a license, for which you’d better be prepared to pay plenty. So, without any disrespect
to old John Barleycorn, for the time being, at least, just to keep from causing any troubles for our new
hosts, there won’t be any booze for sale, OK? It’s OK to drink, please understand (provided you can
hold your liquor) but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of course, good questions will still
be rewarded in the traditional Ask Dr. Hal! manner– with that old standby, Fernet Branca, –the famed
“Miracle Liquor.” That’s how Paul Pot and David “Cappy” Capurro have traditionally done it– and that’s the one way you can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal! Of course, if by some chance we were selling
drinks, we couldn’t tell you here. could we? Alcoholics, try reading between the lines with your bloodshot, sunken eyes…

SOCIAL NOTES

The J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall at S.P.A.C.E. held an attentive crowd last Wed. when the sixth ADH
2.0 was in full swing… Front & center was torrid Tracy Feldstein who got so comfortable on her padded seat–
the Hall has couches in addition to regular seating– that she slipped into slumber before we concluded… That’s
us– a good place to relax… There’s nothing like the soothing voice of drowsy-making Dr. Hal trying to recite a
long poem by worthy William Blake while you get comfortable, the surrounding darkness like a thick blanket, the
murmuring sound of the recitation like the gentle rustling of leaves in a quiet, sleeping forest… beside a barely
audible stream… whuwassah! Pardon us, dozed off there for a minute… Persistent Paul Pot’s usual armload of
questions won him Fernet & even the coveted KrOB Moment, though no Church Air was there to spare… At least
we had Fernet… We think he has the goods on whoever volunteered to fill out the mystery gorilla-suit during the
Sponsor’s Moment– allegedly (sez prurient Pete Goldie) a lingerie-clad, slinky supermodel– as well, but he’s
been keeping mum… Also in the house, the heavenly Holy Hemptress made a showing, rubbing elbows with the
lissome likes of sizzling Sasha Vucovic, dynamic Dianne Lewes & tempestuous Tawnee “Airhead” Allynne…
We noted masterful Mutt, coy Cappy’s kompanion-in-arms kingly Ken K, future host mighty Michael J. Peppe &
another Michael, mindful Michael Lyons… Radiant Robin Coomer of Loop! Station fame & renown brought her
mom, komely Kathy Coomer –or vice versa– both were there, anyway, & sultry Simone & devoted David
Calkins brought their (well-behaved) offspring, elegant Emma Danger, age 5.5 months, the youngest chile ever
to attend our show according to proud papa Pete Goldie, who keeps track of such things… Then there was devilish
Daniel Roos, kordial Kim Vick, garrulous Gary B. Freshour & the Saturn St. Gang… At the front of the Hall
sits Prussian-backed Puzzling Evidence, recording our show for Posterity (via You Tube), a persistent presence
at these affairs… Host rockin’ Robert Levy knew how to focus on the locus & get some traction on the action,
one of our best Mock Chickens to date… Now proactive Peppe has a high standard to surpass… He’s been taking
notes… Then we’ve got to take a 3-wk. break after this week’s episode… seems a shame while things are rolling
along, but they need us at X-Day in far-off New Yawk State… But pay attention to This Space & keep peering
peepers peeled for our next announcement, when we let you in on when, maybe even on where, ADH, whether
2.0, 3.0 or Original Classic, will next be available in the Large Economy Size… We’re betting July 22nd, faithful
few… WORTHY OF NOTE: FAINEANT FOLLIES: The Era of Nonchalance is at hand! If you know what that
means (or would like to), have we got a project for you! Go to Dolores Park at any time. Bring a radio. Once
you’re there, tune it to 107.9 FM. Yes, when you’re in upper Dolores Park, you can listen to a continuous forty-
five-minute specially engineered dynamic Dr. Hal broadcast (there called Commander 14), running 24-7 on
FM radio, 107.9 FM in (((stereo))). And it doesn’t stop there… Don’t forget to tune us in if’n you can’t make it to
ADH– thanx to the tireless efforts of jocund John Hell and esp. journeyman John Miller — on fledgling Pirate
station FCC Free Radio; set the dial for 107.3 FM & hold on for the ride, Clyde… This Wed. @ 9:30 PM…
THOSE AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE VIDEO CLIPS!

Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling
Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal!
–on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely
the next best thing to being there in person! You need to visit his wonderful site, with rare video of the
Lost Galleon La Contessa and many wonders unrelated to our show, as well as our stuff from the links
below. How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your computer? Go ahead– just ccut and paste any of these handy URLs right into your browser, Towser. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

Kelek Stevenson opens for us– she even has a beautiful voice, as it turns out. And, with Dave
Evans’s help, she plucks your heartstrings– along with those of America’s only native instrument–
on June 10th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBw8IPr8D_U&feature=channel_page

More of Kelek is always a good idea, as you can see and hear from June 10th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYX4_kyIr20&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie takes us up, above and beyond, during his Space Report on June 10th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0u1OOYlzJg&feature=channel_page

Pete and ADH 2.0 host John Hell continue the bumptious badinage June 10th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcfRphuxmVI&feature=channel_page

Dr. Hal speaks (floridly) of Devils and Damsels, assisted by Edward Fitzgerald and Omar
Khayyam, John Hell, KrOB and the gas-house gang. Who invented the spoon? Can you
stop a bullet with your mind? And so trended ADH 2.0 on June 10th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqZTON7eCB8&feature=channel_page

Now it’s time for the KrOB Moment which concerns itself with the Coming of the Robots, on
June 10th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EisHwCwa02w&feature=channel

“A rat crept softly through the vegetation…” And so closes ADH 2.0: CWDH on June 10th (Pt. 7):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coL-4iTNpGs&feature=channel

Jarico Reesce brings on Pete Goldie to begin the show on June 3rd, but Frank Chu has other
ideas– very familiar ideas indeed, as it turns out (Pt. 1):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlzzUTqd88U&feature=channel_page

Jarico introduces a dummy as well as Dr. Hal, who tells of the far-future continent Zothique on
June 3rd (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv-fg4jAJTo&feature=channel_page

“What are you, Hal?” is answered, and why coming back from the dead is not fun on June 3rd
(Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXLkaThme9U&feature=channel_page

But Jarico bungles poor, patient Barbara Fried’s question on dating in San Francisco, prompting
an answer which fails to satisfy– c’est la guerre as always on May 13th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-go8QsNbyA&feature=channel_page

Guest host Jascha Ephraim strokes Pete Goldie for a job and a grout report when we begin
our second show in May– May 13th, that is (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxBnemW4Gm8&feature=channel_page

Then Dr. Hal recites Frost’s Acquainted With the Night as we get going in earnest on May 13th,
as you can see by clicking on this (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at-Bi5Y9WHY&feature=related

What colors may dinosaurs have been are suggested by Dr. Hal, as questions fly thick and fast
May 13th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujkfDAEOXRI&feature=related

Dr. Philo Drummond drags the show to a crawl (intentionally?) as he becomes “Chicken” on
May 6th– then, the Rules change drastically (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SYY_yXDQCQ&feature=channel_page
Now Philo brings in Eric Cash as a faux Pete Goldie. What next on May 6th? (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU4dRMpIIRM&feature=channel_page

Philo shows his true colors in bravo style as he catches the rhythm on May 6th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikgIobtVWyA&feature=channel_page

But then a contentious young lady makes a serious effort to kill the show, while Philo
sits idly by. Michael Peppe never saw the advertised 3-D, but gets to drink Fernet– on
us– all on May 6th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_C2GIebi2c&feature=channel_page

After the distaff disruptor finally ceases tormenting Dr. Hal, he explains The Mystery of
the Fez. Still May 6th (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHg8Z_oIIO0&feature=channel_page

The show concludes with Coleridge’s Frost at Midnight, at 12 AM on May 6th (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QES6EPw1ES0&feature=channel_page

Robin Coomer is our first “Chicken” as our first show begins outside the sealed fortress of
Chez Poulet, the night of April 29th (Pt. 1). What is Time, to a Photon?:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBN0C7cgShk&feature=channel_page

In the near-darkness of the Bluesix Acoustic Room, Dr. Hal recites for the first time away from
Chez Poulet on our April 29th show (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8NBMe7yoog&feature=channel_page
Dr. Hal answers the question: What is the Frequency? Robin presiding on April 29th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7nEj5kmaOw&feature=channel_page

The closing recitation on April 29th is The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sflUShLaaMs&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie dilates on the latest from Mars, starting us up on April 22nd. And then the Hillbillies’
clandestine Meth Lab explodes, heralding their exodus (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnxEmHCm2Qk&feature=channel_page

Dinosaurs with two brains? Get the real scoop from the show on April 22nd, commencing with
a recitation from Drayton by Dr. Hal. Our last show at Chez Poulet (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a_YS-rx_dM&feature=channel_page

Wonder Woman’s BDSM activities are briefly discussed on April 22nd (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zyth9AOF9w&feature=channel_page

Sean Kelly interprets Dr. Hal’s words with physical movement that night of April 22nd (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIvlybCCtlQ&feature=channel_page

Zero Boy takes us all to Coney Island in a tour-de-force performance beginning our April 8th show
(Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOzFvdOhIFs&feature=channel_page

We’re still at Coney Island with Zero Boy and wouldn’t it be great to stay there? April 8th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF0CNJQ98hY&feature=channel_page
An astounding ride through space to rendezvous with an icy comet, courtesy of Pete Goldie
keeps us rolling on April 8th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msM6YBk5w5c&feature=channel_page

It’s Mayor Gavin Newsom! No, really! Everyone guest stars on April 8th Frank Chu included (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoY8Z1G-hZY&feature=channel_page

The Abstruse Realm of Mathematicks is challenged in verse ex tempore (Pt. 5):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HFQihXZg7g&feature=channel_page

Robin Coomer scores a date with the (unfairly lucky) Magic 8-Ball on April 8th’s crowded evening.
Zero Boy brings home the audio bacon (Pt. 6):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t81GFUtBJLw&feature=channel_page

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock closes our April 8th show (Pt. 7):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opvZb-PZqYU&feature=channel_page

St. Stupid’s Day night and this was Ask Dr. Hal! (April 1st) The first part, with more soon to follow
(keep checking here!) from Puzz-Ev:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp8cxpz4bv0&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie describes the toilet on the International Space Station and its problems in our April 1st
show (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEkkM5iJwWI&feature=channel_page
Sex advice of a most esoteric character is solicited– and received, the night of April 1st (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBq2ZxZfvS4&feature=channel_page

Eric McFadden sings The “Edgar Allen Poe-lka” and “Carnival Town!” A treat from our April 1st
extravaganza (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEJTEqXrN9c&feature=channel_page

NOT FROM ASK DR. HAL! –But you will certainly want to see the PUZZ-EV VIDEO RECORD of the
recent STARS & GARTERS Show at Amnesia March 29th, which did feature the talents of KrOB & Dr.
Hal! First, SEE Big Ben Burke sing with shapely Jessy Roadkill, host Leon Redbone, Unicorn and the
Bartender who hammered a sharpened butter knife up his nose… (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpcteA1fHBE&feature=channel_page

The William Tell Routine is featured, at the end of which, gorgeous Jessy Face is stripped before all
via stage magic, leaving her adorned only in her blushes– and a few insignificant decorations. You
may want to watch this one more than once, Gentlemen– we find it endlessly refreshing. Burke’s Ode
to a Brass Bikini, Feats of Strength, Lovely Linda Robertson, Roadkill & Mack are also back for more
sexy clowning… what’s not to like? (Pt. 1.1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjSnRn_jDME&feature=channel_page

Then, Ravishing Roadkill & Curvaceous Claire Mack practice more All-Woman Feats of Stength! And
then they rock out! Oh… my… God… YEAH! Too bad if you missed that STARS & GARTERS Show
(Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D61tXANj8EI&feature=related
Dr. Hal plays the Cabin Boy on the Hindenburg as KrOB provides the Sound while the STARS &
GARTERS beauties, Jessy, Jessy & Claire present their puppet-&-people Play (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TNj71D2ZR4&feature=related

It just gets better at the STARS & GARTERS Show when Lewd Lingerie-clad Lesbian Antics at the
Beauty Parlor take over the stage. PUZZ-EV also throws in a Special Effects shot, where, thru the
Magick of Backwards Filming, Jessy Face’s clothes actually go back on… What’ll they think of
next? (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieU1H6SDao8&feature=related

All right, resume normal breathing and watch these Ask Dr. Hal! Show clips…

Pete Goldie documents a recent Asteroid Strike as March 25th’s show gets into gear (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhF3ov6jBDs&feature=channel_page

More from Blake’s Milton starts off the Dr. Hal portion March 25th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOUl9qvDU6E&feature=channel_page

Then Dr. Hal smokes dope on stage, as urged, and the March 25th show worries Chicken
as it  becomes “psychedelic” (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qveNWHy0OXk&feature=channel_page

Chicken demands that Dr. Hal answer 3 questions at once– in ex tempore verse! What
happened? It was March 25th (Pt. 4):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDb7TiBbMW0&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie blazes like a supernova as he opens on March 18th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAOtGMsFICs&feature=channel_page

Frank Chu & Laser-equipped Unicorns occupy Dr. Hal after his entrance as the questions
start on March 18th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8xSaZqyDcU&feature=channel_page

Chicken is busted for Twittering during the show & we land on the Moon once more on March
18th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6csEpKCZUIc&feature=channel_page

Underdog (cartoon character) occupies us, along with bickering hillbillies on March 18th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JNrtLjYXWw&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie blazes a trail as the show begins, detailing the Kepler Mission on March 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9MjZtg_Sco&feature=channel_page

More of Blake’s Milton and a visit from Frank Chu swings the Show into magnum motion
March 11th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI3QAKLb13I&feature=channel_page

Now, dream about hornet stings, how to get laid, SubGenius pedigrees, Spy’s KroB moment,
personal food waste size, Frank Chu’s terms and whether or not the 8-Ball knows anything, from  March 11th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8pAKioBL14&feature=channel

For the last of the courtly poets, some Shelley, a one-armed Viking problem and yet more poetry
finish our excerpt from March 11th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZWdsavr1qc&feature=channel

Pete Goldie Peers at Comet 134340; Chicken’s recommendations on Baby & Child Care
start things March 4th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L34P6ZtkMQU&feature=channel_page

Satan’s panties & Superman’s orgasm are highlighted after more of Blake’s Milton March 4th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMi-2s6iKPk&feature=channel_page

Making the best of a bad assignment, Dr. Hal improvises poetically on Politics & Economics
March 4th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ifNGkwlkfM&feature=channel_page

Micturation apprehended is seen as a question, as is the Nature of the Conspiracy March 4th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gfbqh2j4pPA&feature=channel_page

The show launches with Chicken’s Monologue and Pete Goldie’s paideutic presentation; we examine the surface of the planet Mars and look at active Neutron Stars February 25th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqnnBW8CH1E&feature=related

Midget cover bands, Hillbilly interference, and Frank Chu all contribute on February 25th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua0rpp16PPY&feature=email

SubGenius propaganda leads the ADH onslaught on February 25th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXXSfHV8xc&feature=related

The Skeleton in Armor closes the show with the saga of a Viking’s life and death on February
25th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9hdIKnAgtE&feature=related

Pete Goldie puts out a Church Air-flavored Science Sizzler @ ADH, more, on February 18th - The
first part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAxJj1PhMgE&feature=related

The Price of scrap steel and stock analysis from Chicken intros Dr. Hal’s Wm. Blake recitation on
February 18th in (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuEZoR8AaHw&feature=email

More of February 18th’s hard-hitting Hal Show hammers the point(s) home (Pt. 3) including the
dread KrOB Moment:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M43OesL3lsk&feature=related

Chicken gets a giant spider in the U.S. Mail and welcomes Pete Goldie in the first
of two parts from ADH on February 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl4jZ7OZBFU&feature=channel_page

Frank Chu appears like a wandering ghost to haunt our rain-dogged Feb. 11th folly
(Pt. 2), more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D24ZWSxMMg&feature=channel_page

Just get an eyeload of the first part of February 4th’s febrile free-for-all (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7rC4Vv5N6w&feature=channel

Now permit yourself a peek at the next cheering chunk from Puzz-Ev TV (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2doUT-QvQI&feature=channel

Observe now the orisons of the terminal trefoil tingle of Feb. 4th’s farandole (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJHi3p97J18&feature=channel_page

Scrutinize spectacular samples from our circuitous circus on January 28th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IloOn7o1F0&feature=channel

Peruse the second part of January 28th’s nonpareil Nonesuch (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02c1-y1RV_M&feature=email

The third part & 2nd iteration of Jan. 28th’s performance sensation (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI1vYal4Z_0&feature=related

View variegated visions from our proactive presentation in mid-January of this young yearJanuary 14th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZGpuy-4Il0&feature=channel

The second part of PUZZ-EV’s commanding compilation of the best of ADH’s mid-month
marvel (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYkU7VLEQKE&feature=related

Here’s the skinny on the first show of 2009, in You Tube Edit form, January 7th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJbgPrD_Jfc&feature=related

The second helping of our succulent show smorgasbord (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYhqbSmn30M&feature=related

Look & wonder as you observe pivotal occurrences from our last show of the year (New Year’s
Eve) December 31st (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2uUR1GJgQI&feature=channel_page

The second half of PUZZ-EV’s hard-hitting slice of our New Year’s omnivorous omnibus (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EITPiw4XPw8&feature=channel_page

Gaze now at this exceptional edit, excerpted from our recent exhilarating December 24th
performance (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJO2i73RR-Y&feature=channel
Behold the second half of the exciting “extreme” excerpt of the show on December 24th
(Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJeYyZ7jG9k&feature=channel

Scope out outré out-takes from our December 17th serendipitous show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRIJURy6mpg&feature=channel

Take in tantalizing tid-bits from our December 10th show. Try clicking on this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SO-KGmQgvI&feature=channel

Peer at picturesque portions picked from our December 3rd show. Click on this, or, if that
doesn’t work, just cut and paste it into your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_QToZF1LrA

Audit choice fragments from our November 26th show on You Tube, courtesy of Puzzling
Evidence. SEE Chicken unfairly berate KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield
even than usual in his meandering “answers” to several questions. Just go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NVLPHyiExc

See selected clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those !!?@#$%?!! cuss-words.
Go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixlk8linoEs

For those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow in the mire of partisan
politics from last year’s endless-seeming Presidential election, check out this
ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video clip from the late ADH Pirate
Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete “Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance
of special guests Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi McTaint.
Yowza! Go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrfFcbcmo9I&feature=email

See you at the J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall– Wednesday Night!
354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom)

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal!”

The Current Version of our Long-Running Show

NOW APPEARING at

The J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall
in
S.P.A.C.E.
(Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise)
354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom)

EAST BAY ASK DR. HAL! FANS TAKE NOTE:

3 BLOCKS SOUTH OF THE POWELL ST. B.A.R.T. STATION; 2 BLOCKS SOUTH OF MISSION ON 5TH.

NEAR MISSION, BUT NOT IN THE MISSION…
WEDNESDAY, June 17th! 

N I N E - T H I R T Y   P.M.

THE PRE-SHOW begins around Nine.

We start as close to that time as we can, but so many of our audience tend to show up after the hour that we usually aren’t able to start until after 9:30 PM.
WE CLOSE before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to make the last train from the Powell St. BART Station,

3 blocks North of the J. R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall.
Admission $10.00 or what you can… no one turned away…               AND FOR THE FIRST TIME!

OUR SHOW TO BE BROADCAST LIVE
on FCC FREE RADIO, 107.3 FM!
– San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station!

Launching Wednesday!

The Dr. Hal Report   
Vol. X                                     No. 6

Six of one; half a dozen of the other.
–Traditional saying

THIS WEEK’S FAMOUS ‘GUEST CHICKEN’ IN
OUR ROTATING SERIES OF HOSTS WILL BE…
ROBERT LEVY!
Yes! The Founder of the Late, Great 12 Galaxies Night Club (voted one of the 10 Greatest Rock Clubs in America by Playboy Online) will Also Double in Brass as he Helms the Show, and Wields Absent Ringmonster Chicken John’s hefty Gavel, at Long Last!

And with…
UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
GORILLA MY DREAMS (1948)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons!
Gorilla My Dreams is a Looney Tunes short from the best days of Warner Brothers’ classic
animation studio, and features Warners’ most durable cartoon star, Bugs Bunny. It was
directed by Robert McKimson, who had been a protégé of Bob Clampett, our favorite
animation director. Though some of McKimson’s cartoons have been criticized for being too
talky and dependent on verbal humor, Gorilla My Dreams unfolds at a suitably manic pace.
The short features, in addition to Bugs, Mr. and Mrs.Gruesome Gorilla. Although this cartoon
was remade in 1959 as Apes of Wrath, Gorilla My Dreams is considered the superior of the
two versions. Lovingly selected by KrOB, who it must be noted has a bit of a “thing” for
gorillas…

Also with…
HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
RHEDOSAURUS RAMPAGE!
REVIVED PREHISTORIC BEHEMOTH WALLOWS THROUGH LOWER MANHATTAN!
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED

What’s a Rhedosaurus? A giant prehistoric creature, not technically speaking a dinosaur,
although we do use the term loosely in our advertising. This amphibious beast, capable of
swimming  22.7 nautical miles (20,000 fathoms) underwater without surfacing to breathe,
had been flash-thawed from his icy glacier prison by an experimental Arctic nuclear blast
conducted by U.S. Scientists as part of “Operation Experiment.” In KrOB’s edit, the prehistoric colossus suddenly shows up at the site of his old stamping grounds. Unfortunately for thousands  of residents, this site happens to be Manhattan Island– New York City.
A transcendental epiphany of stop-motion animation by Gordon Sawyer Award-winning Ray Harryhausen, this absolutely educational and scientific presentation is offered as part of our
ongoing show. SEE the monster that preceded (and inspired) Toho’s Godzilla.
This creature isn’t, by the way, to be confused with the giant dinosaur Rhoetosaurus, though it’s
pronounced almost exactly the same. Just for the record, Rhoetosaurus  longmani was an
Antipodal sauropod from the middle Jurassic period, some 180-175 million years ago. The
Rhedosaurus is quite different, a gigantic Rynchocephalian like the still-flourishing Tuatara or
Sphenodon, last living exemplar of an ancient order of reptiles. Intriguingly, Rhedosaurs, we’re
told, evolved into sauropodomorphs, though not into true sauropods, which these descendants
resemble only from evolutionary convergence. As dinosaur-like as such descendants appear,
it should be remembered that, strictly speaking, they too are not really dinosaurs, but highly evolved
Rynchocephalians.
Unfortunately, the foremost authority on this species, the late Dr. Thurgood Elson, perished in a
mysterious diving bell “accident” before giving paleontology an explanation of the linkage
between these taxons.
Aside from all this, remember that tonight’s caustic parable of reptilian yearning and revenge–
part of our bill at the

“Ask Dr. Hal 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal”

show this upcoming Wednesday night, June 17th

at S.P.A.C.E.,

San Francisco’s BOLD NEW Variety Arts Showcase

at 354 5th St. (5th St. at Folsom),

is all courtesy of the master movie archivist, KrOB–
and just one small fractal fragment of the totality

to be experienced at our unique and
well-travelled night club show;

once more we bring its unusual brand of conviviality and
information to an outré but receptive audience.

CONSULTING DR. HOWLAND OWLL
“DR.” HAL: SHODDY CHARLATAN with DUBIOUS DOCTORATE or ENLIGHTENING ENTERTAINER
effortlessly ENGAGING with ESOTERIC WISDOM?

Questions answered, concerns addressed–

a Personal Ministry. Come and see for yourself.

Bardic Episodes remain an unavoidable side effect.
Private consultations available. No refunds.
“ASK DR. HAL 2.0 — CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL!”
–BROADCAST LIVE ON FCC FREE RADIO!” FINALLY!

Yes! On S.F.’s newest Pirate radio station, FCC Free Radio, for the very first time, this episode of the show will also be a live radio broadcast heard around the world. Tune us in at 107.3 FM,

San Francisco’s Alternative Radio Station,

starting at 9:30 PM.

KrOB!
What can one say… his vision is unique… he accepts no compromises… without him, we’re
nothing… KrOB surfs the waves of principal co-expressibility with a master’s touch, teasing the
ear and eye with an ever-new, evolving synthesis of elements drawn from the whirlpool of
popular culture. And, he’s got one hell of a sense of humor.

PETE GOLDIE SETS THE PACE– THROUGH SPACE!
Astronomer and Boffo Boffin Pete Goldie each week brings us new discoveries in Space Science
and the cosmos. A quondam NASA consultant, Dr. Goldie is particularly interested in the Cassini
Space Probe and often reports its findings. He’ll give a run-down on how images from Cassini’s
cameras have revealed something that hasn’t been seen so well before: vertical ring structures
that are attributed to the gravitational effects of a 5-mile-wide (8-kilometer-wide) moon.
Over most of their area, Saturn’s main rings are only about 30 feet (10 meters) thick, but the ring
particles, thought to be mostly water ice, can be perturbed along their edges by gravitational
interactions with moons that circle in gaps within the rings. The latest imagery focuses on a tiny
moon called Daphnis, which pushes the ring material into structures that tower as high as a mile
(1.5 kilometers). These so-called shepherd moons of the giant gas planet are thought to be responsible
for every gap in the rings– even for the rings themselves. (Though some gaps don’t seem to have an
associated moon, Pete would probably explain that they really do– but these “moonlets” haven’t been
discovered yet.) With Cassini on the job, however, their discovery may come any day– in which case
Pete will no doubt let us in on it before the official NASA release. That’s right– privileged information.
And he does it all with sardonic humor, dry wit and rhetorical flair. Some people’s favorite part of
the show. He ends by showing the latest picture– of his daughter, Daria.

NO BAR FOR NOW– BUT YOU CAN DRINK!

(JUST BRING YOUR OWN)
We expect eventually, after a few more shows, to provide a full bar. We are by no means “teetotalers”
at Ask Dr. Hal! — far from it. Yet those who have been attentive to recent headlines can understand
that there is now ongoing a wide-ranging crusade from Mayor Newsom and his apparatchiks to close
down all night spots and evening venues of “unapproved” entertainment whose sponsors have been
unequal to surmounting a labyrinthine “permit process–” and in forking over the more than hefty “fees”
the militant social-engineering “goo-goos” have imposed. To be brief, you can’t scratch your nose in
this burg without a license, for which you’d better be prepared to pay plenty. So, without any disrespect
to old John Barleycorn, for the time being, at least, just to keep from causing any troubles for our new
hosts, there won’t be any booze for sale, OK? It’s OK to drink, please understand (provided you can  hold your liquor) but BRING YOUR OWN. We encourage you to. Of course, good questions will still
be rewarded in the traditional Ask Dr. Hal! manner– with that old standby, Fernet Branca,  –the famed
“Miracle Liquor.” That’s how Paul Pot and David “Cappy” Capurro have traditionally done it– and that’s
the one way you can still get a drink at Ask Dr. Hal! Of course, if by some chance we were selling
drinks, we couldn’t tell you here, could we? Alcoholics, try reading between the lines with your bloodshot,
sunken eyes…

SOCIAL NOTES

LAST WEEK
At the J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall in S.P.A.C.E. (Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise),
uber-host sterling Skot Kuiper facilitated our 2nd show there… Word is that ADH fans love th’ new & improved
venue, some even more than (blasphemy!) our home base in the currently Chicken-less Chez Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret! Better get back soon, Chick… Ack-shully, the Big Chicken may be back as early as next week, a little
birdie on our shoulder chirped (not Twittered or Tweeted) t’other day… meanwhile, we’re all having a blast at
last in a spot that’s hot… Speaking of heat, reet, komely Kelek Stevenson opened for us last Wed., but not as
fans of her routines as Flag Girl for the Xtra Action Marching Band might suppose– she didn’t dance, but …
played the banjo, America’s only native instrument, & sang along like an angel as dynamic Dave Evans sat in
on ee-lectric git-tar… Devoted Dave’s wife agreeable Adrienne was there, and kreative Kelek’s friend, dapper Dan
Acland– but for most of the krowd, this side of kombustible Kelek was a revelation… Just drop down, wontchew,
to th’ pertinent Puzzling Evidence TV videos on You Tube available here as URLs rite after this section, the ones
for June 10th, pts. 1 & 2, click on ‘em & you’ll see (& hear) what we mean… Fearless Frank Chu appeared again
to warn us about the 12 Galaxies… anyone not heard yet abt. the latest sensation on-line– the Acme Chumaster?
With this baby, the invention of jocose Jef Poskanzer, you can put your own message right up there on fab
Frank’s swingin’ sign. We use it… OK, go to acme.com/chumaker & see for yourself… Linked-in Leah Garchik of
the Ess Eff Chron even spilled the beans abt. frantic Frank’s digital dupe in her col. back on the 14th of May– how
Time flize, don’t it… Now we’re settled into S.P.A.C.E. the word is out & the audiences are ambling in… radiant Robin
Coomer of Loop! Station fame was easy to spot (& easy-on-the-eyes); other beauties included resplendent Rosanna
Scimeca, creatrix of many memorable artpieces– remember the Chandelier that fell from the sky back at a certain
Desert Festival a few years ago? Or does the name Big Rig Jig sound a familiar note? Racy Rosanna made it
happen… Delectable Dawn Stott added decorativeness to th’ dramatis personae… the Mysterious Michael Peppe,
who’s our likely Mock Chicken for next wks. ADH 2.0; CWDH, was in the house taking notes… He’s in training…
Just-married (Deacon Dr. Hal performed the ceremony out at the Cliff House) husband Henry A. Lannan had a
question or 2 to pop in the hopper… so did co-operative Cody… Tantalizing Ty of Stagewerks was among us
(slumming?) & there was no mistaking agile Anat, who’s decorated many a Burning Man Fashion Show runway,
when we host it each year out in the Nevada desert dust; mercurial Mark Mcgothican, who’s oft video’d the
same, brought her in… Karaoke King princely Paul de Jong put in an appearance… he’s also been doing the
Double Dutch. Not sold? Behold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKyTfg7WBqI Zap Comix & all-round U.G.
Comics legend sterling Spain Rodriguez also gave us a try @ the new space, S.P.A.C.E. & puffin’ Paul Pot
chugged in with his dozy donative– the business end, wrapped in tightly-folded folding money, ended up on the
carpet during post-show clean-up, & yegg Yours Truly had to do a little “carpet farming;” takes us back… All
in all, ’twas a ball…
TWO WEEKS AGO
Lastweek, we didn’t run “Social Notes” in the Report as we put out our Special “Austerity” Edition (see Vol. X,
No. 5). But though we were indeed mightily ticked off at a letter attacking this journal from a certain recondite
rabbit-suit fetishist, that was only an excuse– the real reason we truncated this Treatise was that we lacked the
time to put out a full-sized ish– instead of doing that, dog-tired Dr. Hal headed up to Petrolia in Calif’s fabled Lost
Coast, riding with kurvaceous Kate Rannells & ravishing Robin Coomer to visit nonpareil Nieves & doughty Dan
Rathbun, along with jaunty Jasper Rathbun, go swimmin’ in the wild Mattole River with a few choice
acquaintances & closely observe the Beauties of Nature… It’s only fair, howe’er, to mention some of the glittering
crowd that packed the J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall when we opened there: alabaster-skinned Agnes, joyous
Jenner, beauteous barkeep from the Old Odeon Daze, bright-eye’d Bug Girl, torrid Ty McKenzie, malapert Marcia
Crosby, slinky-but-unaccountably-shy Shibumi of Studio Reflex, beauteous Barbara Fried, dazzling Dawn Stott,
charismatic Cherry Zonkowski (it was her birthday, & the Champagne flowed), devoted D.S. Black, kute Kate
Rannells, goddess of the Mattole, suave Skot Kuiper, without whom etc., peripatetic Paul Pot, fabulous Francine
Bennett– it’d been too long! –and Zegnotronic Zoli, who we definitely had in mind when we screened our cartoon
abt. Willie, the Opera-Singing Whale. Masterful Michael Peppe also made the scene, as did bruiser Byron Shirley
& patrician Perry Shirley… We couldn’t leave out marvellous Madeline “Bunnywhiskers” Boyne from this screed,
this scroll of souls, and despite his famed disdain for this publication, we noted that there in the back sat that
saturnine scapegrace, $teven Raspa himself…
WORTHY OF NOTE: FAINEANT FOLLIES: The Era of Nonchalance is at hand! If you know what that means
(or would like to), have we got a project for you! Go to Dolores Park at any time. Bring a radio. Once you’re
there, tune it to 107.9 FM. Yes, when you’re in upper Dolores Park, you can listen to a continuous forty-five-
minute specially engineered dynamic Dr. Hal broadcast (there called Commander 14), running 24-7 on FM
radio, 107.9 FM in (((stereo))). And it doesn’t stop there…

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0:
Conversations with Dr. Hal !”
NOW APPEARING AT
The J.R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall
in
  S.P.A.C.E.
(Space Preservation Agency for Creative Enterprise)
354 5th St. ( 5th St. at Folsom ) 
EAST BAY ASK DR. HAL! FANS TAKE NOTE: 3 BLOCKS SOUTH
OF THE POWELL ST. B.A.R.T. STATION; 2 BLOCKS SOUTH OF
MISSION ON 5TH. NEAR MISSION, BUT NOT IN THE MISSION…
WEDNESDAY, June 10th!  
A F T E R   N I N E
THE PRE-SHOW begins around Nine. We start as close to that time as we can, but so many of our audience tend to show up after the hour that we usually aren’t able to start until 9:30 PM.
WE CLOSE before Midnight, to give our East Bay friends the chance to make the last train to the Powell St. BART Station, 3 blocks North
of the J. R. “Bob” Dobbs Memorial Hall.
Admission $ 10.00

…or what you can… no one turned away…
 [We have left The Bluesix Acoustic Room & will not return.]

The Dr. Hal Report       
Vol. X                                                                      No. 5

SPECIAL “AUSTERITY” EDITION

THIS WEEK’S FAMOUS ‘GUEST CHICKEN’ IN
OUR ROTATING SERIES OF HOSTS WILL BE…
JOHN HELL!
Yes, that John Hell! Radio personality, event color commentator,
bon vivant & raconteur. He’ll whip us into shape…
SPECIAL CONTRIBUTING GUEST ARTIST
KELEK STEVENSON!
Banjo Balladeer to Serenade Lucky ADH 2.0 Audience
Beloved of Terpsichore, the Muse of Dance as a member of the Extra Action Marching Band Flag Team, Kelek also pursues Euterpe, the Muse of Music, as we shall hear. Don’t miss this performance!

And with…
UNIQUE ANIMATED CARTOON PRESENTATION!
BAD-LUCK BLACKIE! (1949)
Another in our series of
the best American cartoons ever made!
Bad Luck Blackie, produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer at the end of the Forties,
was directed by the great Tex Avery, the so-called

“King of Cartoons.” We at Ask Dr. Hal! sincerely believethat these wonderful short films deserve greater exposure. Each one of our shows begins with another cartoon, introduced by Dr. Hal.

It’s worth noting that Bad-Luck Blackie was voted

the fifteenth-best cartoon of all-time in a
1994 poll of one-thousand animation industry professionals, as referenced in the book The 50 Greatest Cartoons. (q.v.).

Also with…
HORRIFYING KLASSIC KrOB MONSTER EDIT:
MONSTER SNAKE COFFEE BREAK
INORDINATELY LARGE SNAKES (1,000 Ft. long) DISRUPT RETAIL COFFEE-HOUSE EXPERIENCE
NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED

ABOUT “ADH 2.0: C.W.D.H.”
BEGUN YEARS AGO IN THE DESERT, this show revolves around questions–
& answers. Try it yourself! Anyone in the audience may ask Dr. Hal any
question on any subject. Special side features include Guest Entertainers,
our ongoing Science Report from Astronomer Pete Goldie, cartoons and the special “edits,” by media genius KrOB, from our archive of Monster Movie Moments.
Our show carries on in the absence of founder Chicken John. We also intend,
very soon, to broadcast the show live on the newest Pirate radio station, FCC Free Radio.

This station is just starting up– right after its birth cry (it’s a long
gestation) we expect to be on the air any time now.

Yes, we’ve been saying this for a while, as you may have noticed, but it’s getting closer and closer to getting done.

And before you know it, each show will also be a live radio broadcast heard around the world. Check out
 http://FCCFREERADIO.com

WEDNESDAY, June 3rd!
COME SEE US IN OUR NEW LOCATION!

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal!”
returns– in our all-new, roomy, comfortable &
well-appointed PERFORMANCE SPACE.

Ask any question on any subject. It will be answered.
Pete Goldie leads you through the cosmos. KrOB
performs his magic. SEE our Monstrous Movie Clip–
a gigantic Octopus mangles San Francisco! SEE our
rare and wonderful animated cartoon on our giant
screen! WIN intoxicating Fernet shots!
Featuring Dr. Howland Owll, Orotund Oracle.
All hosted by The Amazing Jarico Reesce of Cyclecide
Bicycle Rodeo fame!
Passion! Monsters! Cartoons! Poetry! Pandemonium!
You owe it to yourself to be there!         

“Foxes have Earths, and the Birds of the Air have Nests;
but the Son of Man hath not where to Lay his Head.”
–Matthew 8:20 
N O T I C E
The Ask Dr. Hal! Show–
Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal
WILL NOT BE PERFORMED this week, while we search for a new PERFORMANCE SPACE.
We have left the Bluesix Acoustic Room
& will not return.

THIS WEEK THERE IS NO SHOW.

–Expect us back the following week
IN AN ALL-NEW VENUE–
watch for our usual announcement.
THE ASK DR. HAL SHOW– ASK DR. HAL! 2.0: CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL WILL GO DARK THIS
COMING WEEK, BUT RETURN IN FULL FORCE ON THE FIRST WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH, WITH SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS
AND 12 GALAXIES’ ROBERT LEVY AS OUR “GUEST CHICKEN” HOST. A MAGNIFICENT CARTOON AND KrOB MONSTER PARABLE ARE ALSO GUARANTEED.

COME ONE, COME ALL TO OUR NEWER, MORE INTIMATE VERSION OF OUR LONG-
RUNNING TRADITIONAL PERFORMANCE. ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED; FERNET GIVEN FOR PLEASING QUERIES.

…and follow our adventures, via You Tube, on Puzzling Evidence TV!     

 NOTICE
The Ask Dr. Hal! Show–
Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal
WILL NOT BE PERFORMED this
week, but will return next week
on
WEDNESDAY, May 27th!
…AT THE BLUESIX ACOUSTIC ROOM
3043 24th Street
24th Street at Treat
A F T E R    N I N E
Admission $10.00 or what you can… no one turned away… full bar
–watch for our usual announcement!
THE ASK DR. HAL SHOW– ASK DR. HAL! 2.0: CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL WILL GO DARK THIS
COMING WEEK, BUT RETURN IN FULL FORCE ON THE LAST WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH, WITH SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS AND 12 GALAXIES’ ROBERT LEVY AS OUR “GUEST CHICKEN” HOST. A MAGNIFICENT CARTOON AND KrOB MONSTER PARABLE ARE ALSO GUARANTEED. COME ONE, COME ALL TO OUR NEWER, MORE INTIMATE VERSION OF OUR LONG-RUNNING TRADITIONAL PERFORMANCE.

ALL QUESTIONS CHEERFULLY ANSWERED; FERNET GIVEN FOR PLEASING QUERIES.

…and follow our adventures, via You Tube,

on Puzzling Evidence TV!

ANNOUNCING THE 3rd PERFORMANCE OF THE NEWEST, “OFFBEAT” VERSION OF THE ONGOING PHENOMENAL SENSATION,

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal!”

WEDNESDAY, May 13th! ALL-NEW VENUE…THE BLUESIX ACOUSTIC ROOM, 3043 24th Street, 24th Street at Treat, A F T E R   N I N E Admission $10.00 or what you can… no one turned away… full bar!

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal” appears again this Wednesday night at the Bluesix Acoustic Room on 24th St. a few blocks east of the BART station. This time,
the role of absent founder Chicken John, now on a junket overseas in  Slovenia to expand his empire, will be Jascha Ephraim, known for many talents and appearances,
including The Jascha Ephraim Memorial Library.

  We’ll have the first look at Jascha’s new movie, A Living Olympus!

 KrOB is back, and we also offer the traditional Monster
Movie Clip, featuring a scientific and educational battle between dinosaur and cave
men– narrated, of course, by Dr. Hal. 

Bardic poetic recitations performed, Fernet
shots dispensed; all questions answered. Just don’t bring your own refreshment– that’s
frowned on here– and do patronize the bar.

Watch us on You Tube! It’s all posted at Puzzling Evidence TV– like this excerpt from our
first show of the new run, hosted by Robin Coomer of Loop! Station fame:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBN0C7cgShk

ANNOUNCING THE 2nd PERFORMANCE OF THE NEWEST, “OFFBEAT” VERSION OF
THE ONGOING PHENOMENAL SENSATION,

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal!”

WEDNESDAY, May 6th! ALL-NEW VENUE…THE BLUESIX ACOUSTIC ROOM, 3043 24th
Street, 24th Street at Treat, A F T E R   N I N E Admission $10.00 or what you can… no
one turned away… full bar

“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations With Dr. Hal” appears again at the Bluesix Acoustic
Room. This time the role of absent founder Chicken John, now en route to Slovenia to
expand his empire, will be noted Subgenius personality Dr. Philo Drummond, known
from the Puzzling Evidence radio show on KPFA 94.1 FM radio and as a founder of
the SubGenius sect. A 3-D movie dealing with dreams and the mysteries of the occult,
The Mask of Doom will be shown, and special glasses will be distributed to our audience
free of charge for their viewing entertainment. We also offer the traditional Monster Movie
Clip, featuring a scientific and educational battle between a prehistoric dragon and a giant
albino gorilla– narrated, of course, by Dr. Hal. Bardic poetic recitations performed, Fernet
shots dispensed; all questions answered. Just don’t bring your own refreshment– that’s
frowned on here– and do patronize the bar.

SOCIAL NOTES

Our first show away from our home at the Chez Poulet Gallery-Cabaret attracted a small but devoted
audience. There were some newcomers, too, but we certainly noted those who had faith in us & in our
ability to keep the show going in Chicken’s absence. And they have our deepest gratitude, since we
appreciate their loyalty in this time of trial while we make this stuff up as we go along… First and foremost,
to our guest Chicken, remarkable Robin Coomer, any amt. of thanx wd. be inadequate. But she was all that
one could hope for in the demanding role of Chicken (which takes so much more than a moustache, a hat
& an attitude). The show was a success, from what we hear– and we think she should get the lion’s share of
the credit. But then, jocund John Hell in the role of kreative KrOB, and rococo Robert Levy in the difficult part
of Digitally devious David Capurro are also most deserving of praise… The Bluesix Acoustic Room is an
intimate little place with far less crowd capacity than the old Chez Poulet, but it felt right somehow as the
combination of assembled talents swung the show into magnum motion… Boffo boffin “Ptolemy” Pete
Goldie had everybody ooh-ing & ahh-ing at his spectackular Slide Show of Artist’s Conceptions of Gamma
Ray Bursts & other unviewable stellar phenomena… Stellar in her own way, vivacious vixen the jocose
Justin Credible cheered from the sidelines… we also appreciated delectable Dawn Stott, joyful Janet Nia &
curvy Clara Fortner… Man-abt.-town Michael Peppe, a future Chicken @ this gathering, got well into the spirit
(& spirits) as the eve progressed… Persistent Paul Pot was there angling for those precious free Fernet shotz…
Our old fellow-traveler Tech-master Tyler, of Brown Whorenet fame (his band) raised plenty of the right kind of
hell… speaking of which, jaunty John Hell channeled his inner KrOB piping in music-a-plenty… Mr. Hell, our
once and future partner in such affairs as the fabled & forthcoming Power Tool Drag Races (watch for ‘em this
year) & the Escape From Berkeley Non-Petroleum Powered Race (ditto– this time it’s not to Vegas as in ‘08,
but to the Mexican border!) did acknowledge just how hard it was to be as adept as KrOB in the Apt Musical
Selection dept., tho’ we think he did a crackerjack job… Also worthy of kudos, righteous Robert Levy did an
Image Mining dauntless Dave Capurro himself wd. have approved of… Fearless Frank Chu didn’t let anyone
down… WORTHY OF NOTE: FAINEANT FOLLIES: The Era of Nonchalance is at hand! If you know what that
means (or would like to), have we got a project for you! Go to Dolores Park at any time. Bring a radio. Once
you’re there, tune it to 107.9 FM. Yes, when you’re in upper Dolores Park, you can listen to a continuous
forty-five minute specially engineered dynamic Dr. Hal broadcast (there called Commander 14), running 24-7
on FM radio, 107.9 FM in (((stereo))). And it doesn’t stop there… There were some new faces we will probably
come to know & list in these pages… Puzzling Evidence recorded us for posterity– or at least for You Tube…SEE THE SHOW on YOU TUBE! The latest posting (featuring Special Guest Performer Zero Boy):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOzFvdOhIFs&feature=channel_page 

SEE HOURS & HOURS of Ask Dr. Hal! on You Tube! Just type in the search words: Puzzling Evidence.

Thanks to all who followed us to our new show!

See you at the Bluesix Acoustic Room– Wednesday Night!

Chicken is gone, but not ASK Dr. HAL!
(In a way…)
ANNOUNCING:
WHILE CHICKEN’S GONE, THERE’S A DIFFERENT, CONTINUING
DR. HAL SHOW…
“Ask Dr. Hal! 2.0: Conversations with Dr. Hal”
WEDNESDAY, April 29th!
ALL-NEW VENUE
…AT THE BLUESIX ACOUSTIC ROOM
3043 24th Street
24th Street at Treat
A F T E R   N I N E
Admission $10.00 or what you can… no one turned away… full bar
The Dr. Hal Report
Vol. X                                                                  No. 1
“While the cat’s away, the mice will play.”

                                                    — Ancient Proverb

WE ARE STILL AROUND…
JUST NOT AT THE CHEZ POULET  GALLERY-CABARET
WITH A ROTATING SERIES OF HOSTS!
THIS WEEK’S SPECIAL ‘GUEST CHICKEN’
--ROBIN COOMER!
Yes, that Robin Coomer!
THIS WEEK:
RADIO REJUVENATION  - DEATH & REGENERATION: ADH 2.0 - SMALLER, MORE INTIMATE NEW SHOWS, NEW “CHICKENS” (THOUGH NOT THE REAL ONE) - ROBIN
COOMER RULES - WHEN CHASMOSAURS ATTACK IS KrOB’S KLASSIC KLIP - TORTOISE WINS BY A HARE - THE ADVENTURES OF CHICKEN JOHN - YOU AND
FRANK CHU - PETE GOLDIE’S ASTRO-FACTS: THE GIANT SPACE BLOB - DRINK YOURSELF COMATOSE - SOCIAL NOTES  - RESIST THE EVIL PROGRAMMING OF
JEJUNEIST CULT: HEAR COMMANDER 14 OF NONCHALANCE’S BROADCAST 24-7
IN UPPER DOLORES PARK - YOKED EVEN MORE WITH YOU TUBE; PUZZO’S NUDEST CLIPS WILL MAKE YOU SEE STARS (& GARTERS); NEW VIEWS OF OLD SHOWS…

“ASK DR. HAL 2.0– CONVERSATIONS WITH DR. HAL!”
This is a message for all friends of Ask Dr. Hal! The shows at Chicken’s place on Cesar Chavez
are suspended for the time being while he’s away. And for that time– five to eight weeks– there will
still be a version of the show going on each Wednesday night
until his return. Not the same show you’ve been seeing at Chez Poulet, but with certain similarities, as well as differences. Yes,
though Chicken won’t be on hand, this new, interim show will be moderated by rotating guest hosts– “Mock Chickens,” if you will. We also intend to broadcast the show live on the newest Pirate radio station, FCC Free Radio. This station is just starting up– we expect to be on the air by our second or third performance. Check out http://FCCFREERADIO.com
And still more is in the works. The first of these is Wednesday (of course) April 29th, around our regular start-time. And we hope, friends of Ask Dr. Hal!, that we will bring many of our current
audience members to our projected new venue:

The Bluesix Acoustic Room, 3043 24th St. in
the Mission (at Treat), not far from the abandoned, tightly-shuttered Chez Poulet. It’s easy to find,
just a few blocks east of the 24th St. BART station (East Bay Ask Dr. Hal! fans take note).

with…
YOUR HOST– ROBIN COOMER!
We don’t have Chicken to kick around any more, to paraphrase the late Richard Nixon. Of course,
like old “Tricky Dick,” Chicken will be back before you know it– you can’t keep a good man down.
But in his absence, this version of the show will be hosted by a series of Guest Hosts– and first and foremost among these will be the breathtakingly beautiful and talented Robin Coomer– a long-time friend of our show who will now ask the questions and ride herd on the answers. But how did we get Robin to do this? Let’s just say– we lucked out.

WHEN CHASMOSAURS ATTACK!
Among the features of our previous show we are continuing will be the much talked-about KrOB Monster Klip. For our April 29th show, look for a KrOB Klassic, When Chasmosaurs Attack!
A parable of evolution and legendary history highlighted by exquisite stop-motion animation by the late David Allen under the direction of Jim Danforth. A cinematic gem with the “KrOB Touch.”
Seen at the “I Hate Cartoons”Cartoon Festival in 2004 and in the Odeon Bar. Narrated, as always, by Dr. Hal. But first, before that…

WE START… WITH A KLASSIC KARTOON!
Every episode of Ask Dr. Hal! begins with the showing of a carefully selected, iconic American animated cartoon. For our première at Bluesix, we’re showing another great Warner Bros. short
by our all-time favorite director, Bob Clampett. It’s Tortoise Wins by a Hare (1943), featuring Bugs Bunny– but probably not the Bugs that you know– or think you know. It’s a variation on Aesop’s story of The Tortoise and the Hare. Following Disney’s lead, a number of cartoons were made on the subject by the various studios. But, as usual, Warners (and Clampett) get in the last word. Bugs, as seen here, is irritable, choleric and unethical, to say the least. He’s certainly not Chuck Jones’s  unflappable, somewhat gay Bugs. He snarls, spits out carrot chunks, winks and leers at the audience. As his face distorts during his tantrums, you can see all his back teeth, not just the incisors. The ingenious plot brings in the Rabbit Mafia, who attempt to “fix” the race. The cartoon becomes a
devastating satire on American (Wartime) attitudes… And yes, this is, once again, one of those wild cartoons of yore which have had trouble running up against the censors over the years. It concludes with
Clampett’s oft-used “suicide gag,” where a number of the criminal rabbit characters blow their brains out at the conclusion, after realizing that they’ve been trying to sabotage Bugs throughout the cartoon, a bit that’s been cut from many TV prints, including versions shown on the Turner Channel’s Cartoon Network, TBS, and TNT. This whole idea, that children need “protection” from these cartoons, or any other work of art, is so wrong-headed, and oozes (originally) from the odious Reagan years and the
unexamined assumption that “cartoons are for kids.” But don’t believe it, Jack– cartoons are for all humanity, dig? The great cartoon makers never lost sight of this. Fear not– we guarantee, as always,
that no censorship will be in evidence at the Bluesix Acoustic Room– we’re taking pains to give you, as almost never seen these days, the whole thing, complete and uncut. So join us this Wednesday night, won’t you? –in time to catch up with yet another treasure of your Nation’s history and once-flourishing but now (that the Conspiracy has dumbed it all down) mostly vanished popular culture.
Remember, our show will start right up at the very moment the cartoon ends.

THE ADVENTURES OF CHICKEN JOHN!
As readers of this space know, ADH founder Chicken John Rinaldi is heading off to Europe to oversee a sort of preposterous regatta of “Art Boats.” The whole freakin’ flotilla will wind through the Continent’s historic waterways, ending at Venice just in time to crash the fabled Biennale di Venezia. As we hear reports of his progress, read every installment here– follow intrepid Chicken by proxy through Ruritania, Graustark, Syldavia, Borduria, Grand Fenwick and Freedonia. A Dr. Hal Report exclusive!

WHO’S THROUGH WITH FRANK CHU?
Yes, Frank is back! And we’ve got him! In fact, he never left! Whatever happens, as sure as the Lord made little green apples, the Emperor Norton of our own time, who regularly appears at
our show to deliver his Message, will be there! Most of the time, anyway. And the tangled tale of Frank Chu, told in these pages (See The Dr. Hal Report, Vol. IX, Nos. 14, 15 & 16), may come to include additional chapters. Like the original Norton, Frank is shown certain deference by the discriminating, given free meals and so on. We will always welcome Frank Chu at Ask Dr. Hal!
See him right now, if you want to, in the Puzzling Evidence video clip of our February 25th show (Part 2) by clicking on the link you’ll find down there in the Monstrous Column of URLs at the bottom of The Dr. Hal Report.

PETE GOLDIE’S SPACE INTERFACE!
Hey, kids! Ask Resident Astronomer Pete Goldie about the giant, unthinkably huge Space Blob recently spotted in the endless reaches of the starry realm! The enormous “what-is-it?” which dates
from when the universe was relatively young has got astronomers puzzled. Remember, because of the fixed speed of light in our cosmos, when we view its remotest objects we’re looking literally back in time. And, as observers peered back to when the universe was only 800 million years old, they found something that was out of proportion and out of time! It was gaseous, big, and emitted a certain type of radiation, but scientists don’t even know what to call it. So they just labeled it a radiation-emitting “blob.” Their peer-reviewed study will be published in next month’s edition of the Astrophysical
Journal. But what’s most remarkable about this blob is its size: It’s 55,000 light-years long! That’s comparable to the radius of the disk-shaped Milky Way, our own galaxy! According to many theories of the universe, nothing was supposed to be that big at that time. Fortunately, ADH fans won’t need to wait for that issue of the Journal; Pete will be right on hand to fill us all in.

A FULL BAR– YOU CAN DRINK!
This is the announcement a lot of you have been waiting for. Our host and barkeep, Bluesix’s amiable Joe the Bartender, Master Mixologist, will pour you any drink your little alcohol-sodden heart
craves. Of course, good questions will still be ree-warded in the traditional manner– with that old standby, Fernet Branca, –the “Miracle Liquor.”

SOCIAL NOTES

After so much of the usual jiggery-pokery by conniving Chicken about which show actually was our last,
a certain cynicism about these announcements was only proper. Was it a gag– would there really be “one
more” Ask Dr. Hal! Show? But no, that was really it… Still, folks who like us at the old Jean Poulet Gallery-
Cabaret have only to wait about a month and a half; rover Rinaldi will return around then & we’ll take up
where we left off… But now we have a chance to try an experimental version of ADH at a new site, which we
hope will be just as much fun in its own way… Our last iteration of the Old Show did go out in a blaze of glory,
though– we packed the house & had ‘em sitting in the aisles… Eventually there’ll be a Puzzling Evidence
Video on You Tube for everybody who couldn’t make it that nite… In attendance were techno-whiz Trade Mark
Gunderson of the Evolution Control Committee avec posse (we’ve oft had the pleasure of doing radio with him
at Burning Man, as we did indeed last year), beauty Brooke Buchanan, sturdy Scott Klemmer, nonpareil Noah
Balmer, big Bob, juniper-fresh Jessie, & cuddly Cowbell… Stalwart Stu was there, ditto torrid Tarin Towers;
there was also no mistaking kurvaceous Kate Willett, whom we’re always glad to see… Ditto that for ravishing
Robin Coomer, the supremely talented chanteuse who’s giving our first Bluesix show a timely assist, malapert
Mable Syrup, enchanting Eileen Hassi, regina of Ritual Roasters, & delectable Dawn Stott… Dashing D.S.
Black, representing the beleaguered Art of Letters, lovely Lera Boroditsky representing the scientific community
& stand-up guy Sean Kelly standing in for the free-form Theater Arts covered between them the very best of the
institutions which support human civilization, which is good because we can’t do it alone… Then there was
amazing Amacker Bullwinkle, who just had a birthday, & resplendent Rhiannon Charisse, bright lite of the
Dark Room… Princely Paul de Jong & peripatetic Paul Pot were their irrepressible selves, but no one got hurt…
Computer-wiz Cappy’s pal & roomie kingly Ken was seen again in the krowd… The part of the human-sized
chicken, so essential to “Prof” Pete Goldie’s running gags, this time was essayed by heroic Hemptress, spirited
Sonjia Miles, p’rhaps the last time for awhile the feathered foil will stalk the show’s stage until the return of the
chief Chicken from overseas…One face from the past was the oblique Oops (yes, his real name) who hasn’t been
seen since the old-timey Odeon daze but was up to his old trix, marking up the money so much that the robots at
the bank wouldn’t recognize it when we attempted a nite deposit– better than when he useta tear up the bills into
small pieces, causing us to spend many an eve seated at the kitchen table fastening ‘em back together with Scotch
tape… All in all, a great crowd for our grand finale at Chez Poulet… Now let’s see how this thing goes at Bluesix.
It’s a lot closer to B.A.R.T. via the 24th St. Station, so East Bay-ers won’t get stranded– we fear a few might have
been left high & dry, since the show, excessive in so many respects, also exceeded the time limit… That won’t
happen again, tho… Hope to see as many of you as can make it to the new place for our home base…

AMUSING PUZZLING EVIDENCE YOU TUBE CLIPS!
Did you know you can watch some of the show right this minute? Well, thanx to Puzzling Evidence, you can! Go ahead– scope out a few of the hi-lites from previous episodes of Ask Dr. Hal! –on You Tube! It’s easy! It’s fun! It’s time-consuming! And it’s technologically au courant, and absolutely the next best thing to being there in person! How? How, you say? You do? Why are you talking to your
computer? Go ahead– just click, clickety-click, on these handy URLs. Remember, if it won’t play, try watching in High Quality…

St. Stupid’s Day night and this was Ask Dr. Hal! (April 1st) The first part, with more soon to follow
(keep checking here!) from Puzz-Ev:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp8cxpz4bv0&feature=channel_page

NOT FROM ASK DR. HAL! –But you will certainly want to see the PUZZ-EV VIDEO RECORD of the
recent STARS & GARTERS Show at Amnesia March 29th, which did feature the talents of KrOB & Dr.
Hal! First, SEE Big Ben Burke sing with shapely Jessy Roadkill, host Leon Redbone, Unicorn and the
Bartender who hammered a sharpened butter knife up his nose… (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpcteA1fHBE&feature=channel_page

The William Tell Routine is featured, at the end of which, gorgeous Jessy Face is stripped before all
via stage magic, leaving her adorned only in her blushes– and a few insignificant decorations. You
may want to watch this one more than once, Gentlemen– we find it endlessly refreshing. Burke’s Ode
to a Brass Bikini, Feats of Strength, Lovely Linda Robertson, Roadkill & Mack are also back for more
sexy clowning… what’s not to like? (Pt. 1.1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjSnRn_jDME&feature=channel_page

Then, Ravishing Roadkill & Curvaceous Claire Mack practice more All-Woman Feats of Stength! And
then they rock out! Oh… my… God… YEAH! Too bad if you missed that STARS & GARTERS Show
(Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D61tXANj8EI&feature=related

Dr. Hal plays the Cabin Boy on the Hindenburg as KrOB provides the Sound while the STARS &
GARTERS beauties, Jessy, Jessy & Claire present their puppet-&-people Play (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TNj71D2ZR4&feature=related

It just gets better at the STARS & GARTERS Show when Lewd Lingerie-clad Lesbian Antics at the
Beauty Parlor take over the stage. PUZZ-EV also throws in a Special Effects shot, where, thru the
Magick of Backwards Filming, Jessy Face’s clothes actually go back on… What’ll they think of
next? (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieU1H6SDao8&feature=related

All right, resume normal breathing and watch these Ask Dr. Hal! Show clips…

Pete Goldie documents a recent Asteroid Strike as March 25th’s show gets into gear (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhF3ov6jBDs&feature=channel_page

More from Blake’s Milton starts off the Dr. Hal portion March 25th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOUl9qvDU6E&feature=channel_page

Then Dr. Hal smokes dope on stage, as urged, and the March 25th show worries Chicken
as it  becomes “psychedelic” (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qveNWHy0OXk&feature=channel_page

Chicken demands that Dr. Hal answer 3 questions at once– in ex tempore verse! What
happened? It was March 25th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDb7TiBbMW0&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie blazes like a supernova as he opens on March 18th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAOtGMsFICs&feature=channel_page

Frank Chu & Laser-equipped Unicorns occupy Dr. Hal after his entrance as the questions
start on March 18th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8xSaZqyDcU&feature=channel_page

Chicken is busted for Twittering during the show & we land on the Moon once more on March
18th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6csEpKCZUIc&feature=channel_page

Underdog (cartoon character) occupies us, along with bickering hillbillies on March 18th (Pt. 4):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JNrtLjYXWw&feature=channel_page

Pete Goldie blazes a trail as the show begins, detailing the Kepler Mission on March 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9MjZtg_Sco&feature=channel_page

More of Blake’s Milton and a visit from Frank Chu swings the Show into magnum motion
March 11th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI3QAKLb13I&feature=channel_page

Now, dream about hornet stings, how to get laid, SubGenius pedigrees, Spy’s KroB moment,
personal food waste size, Frank Chu’s terms and whether or not the 8-Ball knows anything, from
March 11th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8pAKioBL14&feature=channel

For the last of the courtly poets, some Shelley, a one-armed Viking problem and yet more poetry
finish our excerpt from March 11th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZWdsavr1qc&feature=channel

Pete Goldie Peers at Comet 134340; Chicken’s recommendations on Baby & Child Care
start things March 4th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L34P6ZtkMQU&feature=channel_page

Satan’s panties & Superman’s orgasm are highlighted after more of Blake’s Milton March 4th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMi-2s6iKPk&feature=channel_page

Making the best of a bad assignment, Dr. Hal improvises poetically on Politics & Economics
March 4th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ifNGkwlkfM&feature=channel_page

Micturation apprehended is seen as a question, as is the Nature of the Conspiracy March 4th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gfbqh2j4pPA&feature=channel_page

The show launches with Chicken’s Monologue and Pete Goldie’s paideutic presentation; we
examine the surface of the planet Mars and look at active Neutron Stars February 25th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqnnBW8CH1E&feature=related

Midget cover bands, Hillbilly interference, and Frank Chu all contribute on February 25th (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua0rpp16PPY&feature=email

SubGenius propaganda leads the ADH onslaught on February 25th (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXXSfHV8xc&feature=related

The Skeleton in Armor closes the show with the saga of a Viking’s life and death on February
25th (Pt. 4):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9hdIKnAgtE&feature=related

Pete Goldie puts out a Church Air-flavored Science Sizzler @ ADH, more, on February 18th - The
first part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAxJj1PhMgE&feature=related

The Price of scrap steel and stock analysis from Chicken intros Dr. Hal’s Wm. Blake recitation on
February 18th in (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuEZoR8AaHw&feature=email

More of February 18th’s hard-hitting Hal Show hammers the point(s) home (Pt. 3) including the
dread KrOB Moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M43OesL3lsk&feature=related

Chicken gets a giant spider in the U.S. Mail and welcomes Pete Goldie in the firstof two parts from ADH on February 11th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl4jZ7OZBFU&feature=channel_page

Frank Chu appears like a wandering ghost to haunt our rain-dogged Feb. 11th folly
(Pt. 2), more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D24ZWSxMMg&feature=channel_page

Just get an eyeload of the first part of February 4th’s febrile free-for-all (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7rC4Vv5N6w&feature=channel

Now permit yourself a peek at the next cheering chunk from Puzz-Ev TV (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2doUT-QvQI&feature=channel

Observe now the orisons of the terminal trefoil tingle of Feb. 4th’s farandole (Pt. 3):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJHi3p97J18&feature=channel_page

Scrutinize spectacular samples from our circuitous circus on January 28th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IloOn7o1F0&feature=channel

Peruse the second part of January 28th’s nonpareil Nonesuch (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02c1-y1RV_M&feature=email

The third part & 2nd iteration of Jan. 28th’s performance sensation (Pt. 3):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI1vYal4Z_0&feature=related

View variegated visions from our proactive presentation in mid-January of this young year
January 14th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZGpuy-4Il0&feature=channel

The second part of PUZZ-EV’s commanding compilation of the best of ADH’s mid-month
marvel (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYkU7VLEQKE&feature=related

Here’s the skinny on the first show of 2009, in You Tube Edit form, January 7th (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJbgPrD_Jfc&feature=related

The second helping of our succulent show smorgasbord (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYhqbSmn30M&feature=related

Look & wonder as you observe pivotal occurrences from our last show of the year (New Year’s
Eve) December 31st (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2uUR1GJgQI&feature=channel_page

The second half of PUZZ-EV’s hard-hitting slice of our New Year’s omnivorous omnibus (Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EITPiw4XPw8&feature=channel_page

Gaze now at this exceptional edit, excerpted from our recent exhilarating December 24th
performance (Pt. 1):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJO2i73RR-Y&feature=channel

Behold the second half of the exciting “extreme” excerpt of the show on December 24th
(Pt. 2):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJeYyZ7jG9k&feature=channel

Scope out outré out-takes from our December 17th serendipitous show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRIJURy6mpg&feature=channel

Take in tantalizing tid-bits from our December 10th show. Try clicking on this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SO-KGmQgvI&feature=channel

Peer at picturesque portions picked from our December 3rd show. Click on this, or, if that
doesn’t work, just cut and paste it into your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_QToZF1LrA

Audit choice fragments from our November 26th show on You Tube, courtesy of Puzzling
Evidence. SEE Chicken unfairly berate KrOB. HEAR Dr. Hal as he wanders farther afield
even than usual in his meandering “answers” to several questions. Just go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NVLPHyiExc
See selected clips from November 19th’s show. Warning to Parents:
Chicken really ladles out those !!?@#$%?!! cuss-words.
Go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixlk8linoEs

For those who would like to indulge themselves in one final wallow in the mire of partisan
politics from last year’s endless-seeming Presidential election, check out this
ultra-entertaining (Adult-themed) Puzzling Evidence video clip from the late ADH Pirate
Cat radio show featuring Dr. Hal, KrOB, Pete “Savant” Goldie and the additional appearance
of special guests Presidential Candidate John McTaint and vivacious wife Sindi McTaint.
Yowza! Go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrfFcbcmo9I&feature=email

See you at the Bluesix Acoustic Room– Wednesday Night!

THIS WEEK: